Title: So Haunted
Rating: PG
Summary: It's been two years, five months, and eleven days since Reid died. Not that Luke has been keeping track or anything.
Words: 2256
"Today is a momentous day for both Memorial Hospital and the city of Oakdale. After two long years, the Reid Oliver Neurological Center is finally, finally, opening its doors!"
It's been two years, five months, and eleven days since Reid died. Not that Luke has been keeping track or anything. That's eight hundred and ninety four days; twenty one thousand, four hundred and fifty six hours; three million, five hundred and twenty one thousand, six hundred and forty minutes. Luke watched as his phone changed from 12:18 to 12:19. Make that six hundred and forty one minutes.
Luke shifts uncomfortably in his chair. He hadn't been looking forward to this day, to all the pomp and celebration. Don't get him wrong, he's quite happy that the wing is open, that Reid's dream is finally coming true. He knows Reid would be quite proud of the center (except for the name). Everything was state of the art; Luke wouldn't have anything but. He personally oversaw the recruitment of the team, ensuring that every single doctor, nurse, and administrator was the best in their field. For the directorship position, there was only person Luke wanted: Dr. Chase Harding. Dr. Harding was the only doctor Luke recalls Reid talking about with positive adjectives, rather than negative ones. They did their residency together and co-authored several journals with one another. Dr. Harding even worked with Reid at his clinic in Dallas for a few years -before being offered a Chief of Surgery position at the Royal Hospital in London. Luke met with Dr. Harding personally in London and persuaded him to come to Oakdale for the position. Granted, his salary is out of this world high, but Luke insisted. He only wanted him for the position and he would have done anything to get him to accept it. Dr. Harding knew Reid, knew his vision, and he had promised Luke he would do everything in his power to keep Reid's visions alive. Luke was grateful.
He tries his best to keep his focus on Chris Hughes, who, as Chief of Staff, was giving the opening speech. He had a hard time being around Chris after Reid died. It wasn't that Luke blamed Chris, it was just that he was a reminder of what had happened. Reid was the reason Chris was Chief of Staff, the reason he was a father to Jacob and Isabelle, the reason he was alive. He was happy for the second chance Chris had been given, and Chris was upholding his promise to take care of Reid's heart. Luke did his best to put on a happy face whenever he was around him, which was quite often given how close he and Katie had become. He was Isabelle's godfather, after all. Chris understood how Luke felt and he respectfully allowed Luke to keep him at arm's length.
It's gotten easier for Luke as the days go by. He no longer feels as if someone is squeezing his heart whenever he thinks of Reid. The first time he woke up without that deep weight, he had a severe panic attack. He thought it was a sign he was over Reid, over his death. It took both Lily and Katie to calm him down, to reassure him his love for Reid was still very much alive, that the lack of pain in his heart meant that he was healing. But whenever Reid entered his mind, the sharp pain would return, albeit not as intense as it once was.
There wasn't a moment when Luke never thought about Reid. He tried his best not to dwell on the "what ifs," but sometimes couldn't help himself. He would wonder what they'd be doing in that moment. Would they be living together? Married? Would they have kids? Did Reid even want kids? Luke never knew. He never asked. There were a lot of things he never asked Reid. Like, what was his favorite color? How old was he when he had his first kiss? Did he ever have a dog? What was his childhood like? Of course, Reid would say that he knew the important things about him. And while yes, Luke likes to think that he did, there was still so much he didn't know.
A muffled cough breaks his reverie. He turns his head to the left to smile at Bob. Despite his retirement, Bob was still very much invested in the neuro wing. Even though he and Kim moved to Arizona, Bob would teleconference in to all the meetings, fly up once every month to check on the progress, and insisted that the neuro wing be named in Reid's honor. Luke appreciated Bob's involvement and investment, and was grateful he had him on his side. Out of everyone here, Bob was really the only other person who knew what this wing meant for Reid, how important every little detail was to him. And when the board had wanted the waiting room to be painted white with blue trim, Bob and Luke had refused to budge from Reid's original intention of it being painted blue with white trim. Or when the board suggested Dr. Channing for the directorship, Bob flew in unannounced and demanded they get Dr. Harding. Reid was in every part of this wing, and his ashes were literally in the cornerstone of the foundation of the wing. This was all for Reid, this was Reid.
"And now, before we cut the ribbon, I'd like Luke Snyder to step up to the microphone. Mr. Snyder was the leading force behind this wing, and without him, we wouldn't be here today. Luke?"
Chris steps away from the microphone, applauding with the rest of the audience. Luke hadn't wanted to speak but Bob thought him saying a few remarks was a good idea. To speak on behalf of Reid.
Luke stands up, taking a deep breath before stepping forward, buttoning his top suit jacket button before meeting Chris at the podium. Luke shakes his hand briefly and acknowledges the crowd.
"Thank you, Dr. Hughes, for that wonderful introduction." Luke looks down, closing his eyes for a moment. He takes another deep breath before continuing. "I can take no credit for the creation of this wing. That credit goes to Dr. Reid Oliver, who not only was the most brilliant neurosurgeon in the country, but was one of the most passionate men I have ever known. Dr. Oliver had a vision that Memorial Hospital would house the most advanced neuro center in the country -that it would be the leader in research, innovating new procedures, and working in the fight against Alzheimers and cancer.
While we are here to celebrate the opening of such a center, we are also here to honor the man who's vision made that possible. I miss him every moment of every day, but I am so proud to know that his work and his ideas are living on here at Memorial Hospital. Thank you."
Luke stands aside, fighting back the tears. It was the first time he's spoken about Reid out loud, besides his monthly visits with Katie. Once a month, Chris takes Jacob and Isabelle to Tom and Margo's, leaving Katie and Luke to sandwiches and pizza, sharing stories about Reid's neurotic tendencies and crying into each other's arms. It's therapeutic for him, and he knows that Katie needs this outlet as much as he does. Katie was a special person to Reid and he is grateful every day that she's in his life. He would literally die without her.
He's suddenly pushed towards the center's doors by the eager photographer. Bob, Chris, Dr. Harding, and various members of the board crowd around the red ribbon adorning the doors to the center and Luke joins them. A pair of scissors appears in his hands and he strikes a pose so the photographer can take a picture before he cuts the ribbon. Everyone starts applauding again and he can no longer stop the tears from falling. He quickly steps aside, letting the crowd of people walk into the center, where the staff is waiting with food and tours for those who want it.
Luke smiles vacantly to the various members of Oakdale who came out this afternoon, grateful that no one is approaching him. He can't believe that it's finally over, that the center is open and ready. Luke poured his entire soul into this project for over two years, and he's not quite sure how to feel. He's immensely proud of what they've accomplished, but at the same time, he feels empty. Sad. Working on the center was a way for him to stay connected to Reid and now that it's over, he's afraid that Reid will simply fade away. He'll continue on the board but will no longer have any say in the day-to-day workings. He has given his trust to Dr. Harding.
"Not going in?"
Luke turns to see Henry Coleman behind him. He had forgotten about Henry. Of course he was going to be here, he donated money to the wing -doubling the amount after Reid's death.
Luke shook his head, turning back towards the crowd of people. "No, I don't think I am."
Henry placed a hand on his shoulder. "You did a remarkable thing, Luke. He would be quite proud of you, you know."
"I know," he said softly, a sad smile on his face.
Henry stands next to Luke for a few moments, watching in silence as people were taking in the center. "What are you going to do next?"
"I think I'm going to start writing." The words surprise Luke. He hasn't thought about writing in ages, but it seems like the perfect time to pick it back up.
"Ah," Henry replied. "That's not at all what I was expecting, if I can be honest."
"I wasn't expecting it either."
He turned away from the doors then, handing Henry his program. "I'm going to take off. Will you tell Bob and Chris for me?" After receiving Henry's affirmation, Luke walked away, never once looking back.
Twenty minutes later, he finds himself by the Snyder Pond, where he often comes when the pain of missing Reid becomes overwhelming. But today he feels remarkably calm. It was an unusually warm day for February and the ice that had once covered the pond is nearly melted. He closes his eyes as a soft breeze overtakes him, relishing the feel as it swirls around him.
He knows Reid is there with him then, thanking him for what he has done today. He opens his eyes then and sees, on the other side of the pond, a man watching him. Luke isn't alarmed nor frightened, but feels comforted. The man raises his hand slowly, as if giving him a wave. Luke returns the gesture, smiling as he feels hot tears trickle down his cheeks. Another gust of wind sweeps around him.
"I miss you," he whispers into the wind. "Every day, every moment. But I'll be okay now. You don't need to worry anymore."
He closes his eyes again, feeling the wind as it moves around him. When he opens them a few moments later, the man on the other side of the pond is gone.
"Good-bye, Reid," he whispers again. "I love you."
The wind settles down, just as quickly as it had started. He lifts his face up towards the sky, soaking in the feel of the sun. He will be okay. He truly believes it now. The completion of the neuro center gave him the closure he didn't even know he needed. Reid wasn't gone from his heart, he never would be. But for the first time since Reid's death, Luke feels at peace, like his life is worth something again.
The buzz of his phone brings him back down to earth. He smiles when he see it's Katie.
"Hi, Katie," he greets her upon answering.
"Luke! Thank GOD you answered!" Katie sounds frantic.
"What's wrong?"
"I just got home from the center and discovered that Jacob thought his room needed redecorating so he drew all over his walls with permanent marker. Like, alllll over his walls, Luke. With permanent marker! The baby-sitter swears she had no idea what he was doing but Jacob is a mess, his room is a mess, Isabelle is teething, and I'm thisclose to losing it."
Luke laughs gently. "What can I do?"
"Oh Luke, I wouldn't even bother but I know you're not at the opening -Henry told me you had left. And I'm freaking out and Jacob is throwing a tantrum and Izzy is drooling all over the tv remotes and do you think you could come by? Maybe do your Justin Timberlake impression? You know how much they love it."
Luke turns from the pond and starts walking back towards the house. "Katie? For you? Anything. I can be there in 10."
"Thank you thank you thank you! I owe you!"
Katie abruptly hangs up and Luke chuckles as he slips his phone back into his pocket. He reaches the top of the hill just then and turns back around towards the pond. He brings his hand up to his lips and blows a soft kiss in its direction.
"I'll be okay," he whispers again, with a gentle smile.
The man on the other side of the pond watches Luke as he walks away. He too blew a gentle kiss towards Luke.
"I know," he whispers back. "I know."