AN: Little drabble that popped into my head. Quite different than I expected, but I still like how it turned out.
Warnings: Spoilers for the most recent episode and some language abound.
I don't own Walking Dead. .
Summary: In that second, Daryl swore his world shattered. Oneshot.
Dumb fuck.
Wasn't this what Daryl was preparing himself for? The whole time he jogged down that lonely stretch of road after seeing Michonne? Hell, he knew Merle was reckless, but stupid had never been included. Merle still took precautions, still thought things through before charging into the battlefield with guns blazing.
But apparently Daryl had been too generous—that, or too blind—to see exactly how far Merle would go to ensure their safety. He saw a chance and rushed at it…a chance to be with his brother again…and maybe go so far as to say a chance to be forgiven for all those men he killed under the Governor's orders. Was this vengeance? Maybe. Was this insurance? Definitely. If anything, the man's death would be a bonus.
Stupid. Dumb. Fuck.
No amount of cursing or internal monologue could've prepared him for that moment. Because when Merle looked up (but it wasn't Merle—not his brother, not anymore and it never would be, not again) Daryl's breath hitched and he froze.
First instinct was to scream at him. Out of frustration, (how could you leave me here all alone? how could you do this right when I was just getting you back?) out of desperation towards the whole situation, and the whole goddamned world.
It was cruel, and it was a cruel irony-Merle was the invincible one. He was the one built for this world and Daryl was just the redneck younger brother who tagged along. Merle was the horse everyone bet for because he was the horse bound to win the race.
Instead he left Daryl with nothing but a whole lot of what ifs. It left a broken man who thought they would've been able to make it work because he's my brother dammit and why won't you just give him a chance. He's sorry even if he doesn't say it, those weren't his orders they were the Governor's.
Second instinct left Daryl breathless. He couldn't bring himself to kill Merle, not just yet and it didn't matter that that…thing wasn't even him anymore. His brother had died hours earlier and judging by the carnage wrecked it wasn't from a walker bite.
Ain't nobody can kill Merle but himself.
And that's exactly what he did.
So Daryl shoved him away, feeling like the child Merle had left behind all those years ago to face his father's wrath alone. Still Merle had got up and stumbled towards him with the teeth of a monster baring and eagerly grabbing, reaching toward him so again Daryl shoved him down. What a cruel reverse of roles.
It wasn't fair because the world wasn't fair. It wasn't fair when it killed Amy, it wasn't fair when little Sophia was bitten and it wasn't fair when this whole apocalypse roared and consumed everything good and precious in the world.
Finally, when his anger finally boiled to the surface, right under Daryl's skin he screamed his fury and anguish and stabbed the monster that was once his brother. Over and over again, until the face was unidentifiable and as broken as Daryl felt.
He fell to the ground. He couldn't decide whether he should cry or just muscle through so he just laid there and tried to hold the pieces of himself together. Because in those moments Daryl's world came crashing down upon him and shattered and there was nothing he could do about it.