I always thought that Cashmere and Gloss were so much smarter than a lot of people give them credit for (I mean, did you read their speeches during Catching Fire?) and so I decided to write this little one shot. It was supposed to be serious, but it ended up kind of as Dark Humor, I think. But I have this strange feeling that I have totally failed at the humor portion.
Cashmere tries to suppress a groan as Julius and Ross continue arguing so loudly that every animal (as well as every tribute, for that matter) that they could possibly hunt has easily been scared off. As crazy as it sounds, she's starting to regret throwing her knife into the back of the girl from District 2 during the bloodbath (could you blame her, though? That girl was a monster) and "forgetting" to warn Platinum that the male tribute from District 9 had just thrown a spear his way.
"Look, I don't know how they do things back in District 4, but over in District 2 we know how to handle…" Julius screams.
"Yeah, well, this isn't District 2, Julius," Ross counters back, just as loudly.
Cashmere rolls her eyes as the argument continues to move farther and farther from the issue that started it (where to set up the tent) as well as father and father from any sort of viable solution that doesn't involve Cashmere sticking a knife in both of them (personally, Cashmere voted to put up the tent under the tree, fish for dinner, save the dried apple slices, and take the night off from tribute hunting. But why would Ross and Julius bother to listen to the only sane tribute in the alliance when they could fight over every little stupid detail).
Marlene, the girl from District 4 and Ross's partner, was picking at her nails. Cashmere wasn't one for socialization in general- and especially not under these sorts of conditions- but she was starting to get desperate for anything that could possibly drown out the incessant arguing of Ross and Julius.
"So, what's your favorite thing to do back home?" Cashmere casually mentions, hoping for any sort of answer that might distract her.
"Probably Levine Martinson," is her casual reply.
Cashmere reminds herself that if Gloss could manage to get through this torture last year, then she can suffer through a few more days of staying with the Pack of Idiots, as she has dubbed this year's "Career" pack. However, she still gazes longingly at the knife stuck in her belt and wonders just how much it would really hurt if she accidentally fell on it.
It's a pity that "a few days" turns out to be just over two and a half weeks. There were nowhere near as many blood bath casualties as usual and the arena was so big that hiding and trying to outlast all of the other tributes was definitely the most popular strategy. These must have been the longest Games since the previous Quarter Quell and with over eighteen days of these Games and counting; the Capitol just wants the final six tributes to battle it out already so that they can finally have a new Victor to parade around the country.
"Look, we should just go find that girl from 10 and then that boy from 3 is just a sitting duck!" Ross screams so loudly that the birds nesting in the trees above them all start to take flight. Cashmere wishes so desperately that she was one of them (or that she could just cut out Ross's tongue and turn him into an Avox).
"Maybe we could just wait for them at the Cornucopia?" Marlene suggests out of nowhere.
"What? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard?" Ross yells at his District Partner.
"You know what the stupidest thing that I ever heard was?" Julius taunts.
Cashmere rolls her eyes. This is getting them nowhere.
"Why do you think that we should go wait at the cornucopia, Marlene?" Cashmere sighs.
"Because Claudius will come around any day now to organize the Feast. I mean, it's been, like, three weeks and there are still six of us left. They're going to want to get them finished quickly," Marlene explains as if she's been the brain of the team the entire game.
Cashmere would be far more worried about Marlene being actual competition if she hadn't caught the girl trying to pluck the feathers from a living bird just a few days into the Games.
"That's actually a pretty decent idea, Marlene," Cashmere agrees, as then she turns her attention to Dumb and Dumber. "Did you hear that?" she practically shouts, "We're going to head over to the cornucopia in case Claudius Templesmith decides to host a Feast!"
Ross and Julius stop their petty, childish and down right stupid argument only to laugh briefly at Cashmere and Marlene's rather brilliant idea.
"That's now the stupidest thing that I've ever heard," Ross laughs.
"Yeah," Julius (for once) agrees, "plus you shouted it so loudly that every tribute left in the arena has probably heard it."
"Oh, like your donkey braying hasn't already given us away?" Ross challenges.
"At least I don't sound like one of those Wild Dogs whenever I laugh," Julius counters and the two are at it again.
Cashmere turns to try and start up some sort of conversation with Marlene while Julius and Ross continue their incessant argument, only to find that Marlene (the idiot) has begun to eat the berries off of a tree.
"Don't do that, you idiot! We don't know what they are," Cashmere hisses as she races over to swat them away.
"Look, I just so happened to spend time at the edible plants station, so I vote that they're edible berries," Marlene argues.
Cashmere decides that it's time for her to just let Marlene go. She can't take this torture of being the Career Pack's babysitter much longer. If this idiot of a Career tribute wants to die by poisonous berries, then so be it!
A canon sounds in the distance over Julius and Ross's arguing and snaps the career pack back into the reality that is the Hunger Games. They are now four of the final five tributes. Cashmere decides that if there's any time to turn on the others, it would have to be now. The same thought is probably on both Ross and Julius's minds. Who knows what Marlene is thinking (probably nothing, though).
When she threw her knife, Cashmere was really aiming for Ross's vocal cords because all that she wanted in the world was for him to shut the hell up (it would almost be worth dying to be rid of the boy forever). The knife, however, ends up buried in Julius's lower neck, right above his collar bone and between his shoulders. He and Ross had turned at the last second, so she missed her intended target. But she wasn't complaining. Julius was almost as bad as Ross (but almost dead is still a little bit alive).
The knife hits Julius, though, in that little triangle of lose skin, with no bones (or vital organs), between his neck, both collar bones, and both shoulders, meaning that she might as well have given him a mosquito bite instead of wasting the last knife that she had brought with her.
Thankfully, doing the one thing that ever really made Cashmere not completely despise his very presence and ability to breath, Ross takes advantage of Julius turning around (presumably to shout at Cashmere instead of actually killing her, seeing as his mouth was wide open) and shoves a long, black trident through his turned back right where his heart is. Brutus would later convince everyone that Ross and Cashmere had decided to back stab (literally) Julius earlier in the Games but that the Game makers hadn't shown the footage because of more exciting matters.
"Looks like it's just you and me, Bitch!" Ross shouts as he swings the trident around his head, forgetting Marlene and the other (non career) tribute that is left somewhere out in the woods. Plus, Julius's canon hasn't sounded yet, so there are still five tributes left.
Cashmere wants to point out that, first of all, a bitch is a female dog, and, secondly, that those who live in glass houses should no cast stones because Ross was the boy who woke up screaming and crying because of a spider on his face.
However, it doesn't look like Ross is in any mood to listen.
Ross is steadily approaching her when Julius's canon sounds and the voice of Claudius Templesmith fills the arena.
"Tomorrow, just after sunrise, there will be a spectacular Feast for all remaining tributes. We hope to see you all there!"
Ross takes one look at Cashmere, who is standing weaponless with her back against a tree, then grabs Marlene by the hand and takes off running through the woods. Cashmere can only think about what god damn morons those people from District 4 are.
During the night, Cashmere happens upon the boy from District 9, sleeping peacefully in a large tree, obviously planning to let the careers kill each other at the Feast in the morning so that the final opponent will (hopefully) be too wounded to put up too much of a fight. Cashmere shoots an arrow through his back with out a second though, but is secretly jealous of the fact that he hasn't had to spend the past (almost three) weeks Ross and Julius or, as she has now dubbed them, the Wonder Twins.
A second canon sounds in the darkness, and she is almost certain that it is for Marlene because that fool ate a bunch of poisonous berries that afternoon and Ross (though he still is the biggest idiot that Cashmere had ever met) was still smart enough to only eat the food that he found in his back pack on the first day or that their sponsors sent to them.
Cashmere finds a small cave near the cornucopia and settle down for the night, knowing that the Game makers won't kill her off because everyone always want the end to be the biggest, best thing that has happened in the Games.
The sun's light pink rays are just starting to peek out from behind the tree tops when Cashmere sets off on the quarter of a mile hike from the small cave that she found the previous night to the golden cornucopia where the Feast will be presented and either herself or Ross will be crowned Victor of the Sixty- fourth Hunger Games.
Cashmere hopes that if, by some chance, Ross should win, that his post Games surgeon has the good sense to slice off his tongue so that the rest of Panem might be saved from his idiocy. If she should win, all that she wants a pair of ear plugs for when she travels to District 4, because if Ross's family is anything like he is, she'll kill herself without them.
The table of food lands and Cashmere sees Ross crash though the bushes and race towards it like the idiot that he is. Next, he'll probably start stuffing his face, not realizing that he's about to either get killed or win.
Cashmere Races towards him, knife aimed to throw, when her feet and entire lower body swing out from underneath her as she is lifted into the air by a thick net that appears to be woven from the vines that litter the jungle floor.
Cashmere is too stunned by Ross's ability to think to actually do anything much in an effort to free herself from his rather genius trap.
"Well, now why on earth are you just hanging around like that?" he laughs, obviously amused by either the hopeless situation that Cashmere is in or his rather stupid and cliché pun. Cashmere is almost certain that it is the latter.
"Look, could you just let me down so that we can have a fair fight to the finish?" Cashmere hisses from her swinging prison, not willing to admit that she is completely at his mercy.
"But don't you get it, Cashmere? I've already won!" he laughs and starts to turn around.
Cashmere grips the tiny dagger that Gloss had sent her the night before as she sees her opportunity. She seizes a fistful of Ross's hair and yanks him back towards her. She knows that she shouldn't, but she can't resist whispering it.
"No, Ross, I believe that would be my line," she hisses as she slices right through his vocal cords, cutting off his final words. She almost considers pulling an Enobaria and ripping at them with her teeth, but she hears the voice of Claudius Templesmith one last time as the canon fires:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the Victor of the Sixty- fourth Hunger Games, Cashmere Mason!"
She smiles when she sees that Ross's mouth is open, meaning that he was right in the middle of saying something when she slit his throat.
It's a fitting end.
Yeah, total comic fail. Oh well.
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