A/N: Hi all! This will be a 3 shot, Merlex fic. If you do not have any interest in Meredith and Alex having romantic feelings for each other then this isn't for you. For those of you who share my Merlex obsession I hope you enjoy this. A quick note, I started writing this after the Merlex waffle talk scene so Jo has not told Alex about her husband nor has anything else that followed that scene happened in this TL. Everything before though has. Anyways, I hope to update my Jasam fic in the next couple of weeks. Also this fic is rated "M", but this chapter is pretty much G
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of it's characters... only the idea for this fic.
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Chapter #1: With Your Hand In My Hand
Alex stood in front of the mirror, messing with his tie. He was never a tie kind of guy; it seemed too stuffy for him, too adult. He shook his head at the thought. That had been his problem, not acting like an adult. A normal guy probably would've punched DeLuca if he'd walked in on the same scene Alex had but a normal adult would not have beat the man within an inch of his life. But a screw-up would, he thought wryly. I would.
"Need some help?" a familiar female voice spoke from behind him before he saw her reflection in the mirror as she moved behind him. "Here," Meredith walked over to the closet and pulled out a different tie. "This one is better."
Alex offered her a half smile, discarding the tie around his neck before she circled the new one around his collar.
"Better," she smiled in approval. "You look good."
"I don't know what the point of all this is," Alex ran a hand over his hair in frustration. "They're gonna find me guilty."
"Maybe they'll only find you guilty of the lesser charge and you'll get community service or something," she suggested.
"You know you don't believe that," he shook his head. "Optimism is not our thing."
"It could be," she gave him a wry smile.
"It's not," he repeated before letting out a heavy sigh. "Look Mer I appreciate what you're trying to do but we both know there's no way I'm walking away without jail time."
Meredith looked at him sadly, "I hate this."
"Me too," he said as he took her hand in his, pulling her towards him.
She went easily, her head resting against him as she allowed him to wrap his arms around her in a tight embrace. "I can't lose anymore people." She pulled back to look at him though his arms still held her firmly. "There was the five of us, you know, and now it's just you and me. It can't just be me." Her eyes softened, "I can't lose you."
"I'm sorry Mer," he said quietly as his hazelnut orbs stared into her emerald ones, his hand reaching up to stroke her dark blonde tresses. "I'm so sorry."
Meredith gave a slight nod, their eyes still boring into each other's in a soul searing gaze.
"Meredith, are you guys..." Maggie stopped midsentance as she watched the duo separate quickly. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" The sienna woman quirked a curious eyebrow at the pair.
"Only my putting off the inevitable," Alex replied, brushing off her insinuation.
"I was trying to talk Alex into being less pessimistic," Meredith replied. "We should, we should go."
Alex nodded silently as he watched her reach up to adjust his tie again, before the three of them walked out and made their way to the car.
The ride to the courthouse was mostly silent, besides Maggie making little comments about songs on the radio in an attempt to fill the silence. Alex barely heard her though. His mind filled with the dread of what today's verdict would bring along with the moment he and Meredith had shared before Maggie appeared.
It was clear they had been growing closer. Of course their friendship had grown deeper when he officially became her person and then again after Derek died but something had changed more recently. If he were being honest, their had been a shift in his feelings after Meredith was attacked. He felt more responsible for her somehow, and everything in him wanted to spare her from every once of pain she felt. He hadn't thought anything of it at the time: only that she needed him more and he needed to be there for her. But after this mess he made with DeLuca, Meredith had stepped up in ways he'd never expected. She stood by him and protected him and supported him in a way no one ever had. And somewhere along the way he'd developed feelings for her that went beyond friendship, and he couldn't shake the feeling after that moment that maybe he wasn't alone in that.
Stepping out of the car, Meredith clasped his hand as they walked into the courthouse, Maggie flanked on the other side of him. He was grateful for her support as well. They barely knew each other in the grand scheme of things but she'd accepted him as a member of the family with no hesitation, supporting him despite her history with the man he'd assaulted. Still lost in his thoughts, Alex was halfway up the stairs to the court when he came face to face with a familiar set of brown eyes that seemed to be staring at him.
"H-hi," Jo spoke as she moved closer to the trio, her eyes focused on the man in the middle. "I hoped we could maybe talk before..."
"Um," Alex shrugged awkwardly. "Yeah, sure we could..." He let the sentence trail off as he felt a firm squeeze to his hand before he looked to the right of him, trying to convey with his eyes that he'd be okay.
"Alex!" A male voice called from the distance. "We should debrief before we go in."
"Okay," Alex called back to his lawyer before his eyes went back to his ex. "Sorry, I need to talk to him..."
"It's okay," Jo nodded in understanding. "After?"
"Sure," he nodded slowly, unable to hide the confusion at her approach given the many times he tried to talk to her before today.
"Go in with Alex Maggie and talk to Michael," Meredith paused briefly. "I have to make a call and then I'll meet you two inside."
"Okay," Maggie replied before she and Alex made their way to his attorney, and then they disappeared into the courthouse.
"What are you trying to pull here?" Meredith immediately turned towards the younger woman when the others were out of sight.
"Excuse me?" Jo crossed her arms over her chest.
"You heard me," Meredith retorted. "What exactly are you trying to pull here with Alex, and right before he goes inside to see what the verdict is?"
"What I have to say to Alex is none of your business and now that we're not together and you and I aren't in the hospital I don't have to defer to you," Jo replied haughtily.
"You're right Jo, you and Alex aren't together anymore so we don't have to pretend with each other," Meredith agreed. "But you are wrong about it not being my business. Alex is my family..."
"Alex is not your family," Jo countered, "he's your back up, for Derek and for Cristina."
Meredith had to fight the urge to slap the woman in front of her. "How dare you?"
"How dare I?" Jo's voice raised up an octave. "You made my relationship with Alex hell: treating me like I was nothing and hopping into bed with us and just needing him all the time."
"I'm sorry my husband dying and getting attacked cut into your alone time with Alex," Meredith shot back in sarcasm, her eyes rolling.
"I..." Jo deadpanned.
"You," Meredith called out to the younger man making his way up the stairs, "keep your new girlfriend away from Alex." She shot one more look at the brunette woman before walking away.
"What was that all about?" Andrew asked as he stood in front of the remaining woman.
"Just more of Meredith treating me like crap and thinking she owns Alex." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Let's just go inside."
Jo felt Meredith's eyes on her as she stepped inside the courtroom with Andrew, making their way to the benches on the other side. When their eyes meet the older woman turned away and Jo found her own gaze glued to the foursome on the other side speaking in hushed whispers.
"I truly believe things are gonna be okay," Maggie said with a small smile. "We have to believe that; we have to have faith."
"Thanks," Alex replied as he turned around to face the sienna woman, attempting to return the smile. "I don't really have that much faith after what I did but having you here, having you both here," his eyes turned to the other woman, "I appreciate it."
Alex felt the reassuring hand of his best friend squeeze his shoulder in comfort.
"We presented a good case," Michael answered. "I feel pretty good about our chances of at least getting you a lighter sentence should you be found guilty on one of the lesser charges."
"I hope you're right," Alex sighed.
"All rise," the bailiff was suddenly in front of the room, watching as everyone complied. "The Honorable Judge Atkinson is now presiding."
Once the older man with silver hair made his way to the bench, he made a motion with his hands.
"The defendant may remain standing, the rest of you may be seated." Judge Atkinson spoke before turning to the jury. "Madame Forewoman, has the jury made its decision?"
The red headed woman stood as she answered. "We have Your Honor."
The bailiff retrieved the paper in her hand, walking it to the judge whose eyes scanned over the writing carefully before it was once again handed to the bailiff to be returned to the foreperson.
"On the charges of assault in the first degree what say you?" the judge asked formally.
"We the jury find the defendant not guilty," the red headed woman answered.
Alex breathed a sigh of relief but knew it was far from over.
"On the second count of assault and battery in the second degree how do you find?" Judge Atkinson questioned.
"We the jury find the defendant not guilty." The forewoman answered again.
"And on the last charge of assault in the third degree, how do you find the defendant?" The silver haired man asked once again.
"We the jury find the defendant," she paused briefly as her eyes came up from the paper in front of her, "guilty."
Alex bowed his head, knowing given the evidence and his own acknowledgement of the crime getting off completely was nearly impossible but some small part of him had hoped for some sort of technicality. Alex heard muffle voices in the room but didn't come out of his internal thoughts until he felt the hand of his best friend rubbing his back.
"If there are no objections the state would like to present our case for sentencing," the assistant distract attorney spoke.
"If the defense has no objections?" The judge looked towards Alex and his lawyer.
Michael turned to his client with a questioning look.
"Let's get this over with," he answered quietly.
"Alex?" Meredith spoke from behind him.
"It's okay," he glanced at her before his eyes returned to his lawyer as he nodded his approval.
"The defense has no objections Your Honor," Michael replied.
"Very well," the Judge replied before instructing the defense to make their case.
Alex sat silently as the ADA made their case, painting him in the worst light possible. He couldn't stop himself from going over and over that night in his mind. He was guilty; he knew that. But he also knew he hadn't set out to deliberately hurt someone that night. This hadn't been premeditated or thought out, the jury had seen that; he only hoped the judge did as well. Pulling himself out of his thoughts he looked up as he watched the man he'd beaten up walk to the podium to speak.
"My name is Andrew DeLuca and as I'm sure you know I was the victim in this case." He paused briefly. "I was the man attacked that night but it seems like that has somehow been forgotten. The jury found that man," he pointed towards the defendant's table, "not guilty in the harsher charge and I don't understand why. His lawyer and him tried to make it like he thought I was attacking Jo; like that's what he walked in on but that's not true. I wasn't attacking her and he knew that. I told him it wasn't what it looked like. I begged him to stop but he just..." He trailed off as he gathered himself. "Alex Karev could have killed me that night. He could have ended my career that night, and I'm sorry but he shouldn't get credit cause he had an attack of conscience afterwards and got me to the hospital. If he had hit me once or twice yes but, the damage he could have done. He almost blinded me." He shook his head angrily. "He was crazed that night and then sitting there right now is nothing like the man who attacked me that night and that's really what scares me you know; that he can seem so calm on the surface and then just snap like that. I know there will be people to testify on his behalf, tell you how good of a guy he is or what a great doctor he is but there's something else there under the surface. He deserves to be locked up. I just, I need you to know that. These other people weren't there that night but Jo Wilson and I were and we were terrified that night. She's so traumatized she doesn't even want to speak because of the fear he inflicted that night. This is not a guy who should get a slap on the wrist. I urge the court to give him the maximum sentence so Jo and I never have to feel that fear again. So that no one has to fear when that guy is around. Thank you."
"Thank you," Judge Atkinson nodded. "You may return to your seat." He turned towards the ADA. "Do you have anyone else who wishes to speak?"
"No Your Honor," she replied.
"Very well," the judge replied. "Does the defense wish to call a character witness."
"Yes," Michael answered. "We wish to have Meredith Grey speak on the defenses' behalf."
"Ms. Grey," the judge motioned for her to come forward as she stood up.
"Thank you Your Honor," Meredith said as she made her way to stand behind the podium. "I've know Alex Karev a long time: a very long time actually. We started our residency together at Grey Sloan Memorial when it was known as Seattle Grace and so believe me when I saw we have both seen each other at our best, and also our worst. This," she sighed deeply, "this was Alex's worst. He made a huge, huge mistake. This was the worst kind of error in judgement and I can say to you without a doubt that he is sorry. He walked in on the scene of his live in girlfriend, intoxicated and half dressed on the bed while a man was in his home hovering over her. I can't tell you what thoughts went through his mind in the split second he chose to react but I can imagine. In that moment he chose the wrong reaction. As I said, this was a huge mistake but Alex is not just this one mistake. Alex is a compassionate man, a loving man. He's rough around the edges as he had to struggle growing up, in and out of foster care and taking care of his younger siblings when his mother was sick. He did not have it easy but he made his way through all that and became a doctor; and not just any doctor but a surgeon who saves the lives of children. This is a man who started a program in our hospital to bring poor children from Africa to our hospital for life changing surgeries. He worked tirelessly to help as many children as he could, and one of those orphan children became my daughter; a daughter who looks up to and adores her uncle Alex." She paused briefly. "I was attacked myself not very long ago. A patient had a seizure and then it caused him to become violent. He tossed me around like a rag doll and beat me..." she trailed off as she regained her composure, her voice wavering. "He beat me so bad I lost consciousness and when I woke up I was terrified. And when I saw Alex, he looked at me and it gave me hope that I'd make it. He was the first to realize the blows caused me to be deaf among the other various injuries. It took me months and months to recover and Alex was there every step of the way: getting my three children bathed and dressed when I couldn't, picking them up from day care, and sleeping in a chair by my bedside all while still attending to the children who needed surgery. Between him and my sisters, I knew my children were taken care of and he didn't leave me until I told him I'd be okay. I don't know how I would have made it through my attack without my friend, the person I know I can count on. I don't how my children will get through it if he goes away; he's the man that makes their waffles every Sunday faithfully and colors with them and plays tether ball with my two oldest. He's part of my family, both at home and at work. I know none of this excuses what Alex did that night but I ask you to take this all into consideration; to take who Alex Karev is into account. He made a mistake but he is one of the best people I know and I know his lawyer has many letters from the parents of the children he has helped that speak to his character. I hope my words and theirs will afford him leniency. Thank you for hearing me."
"Thank you Ms. Grey," the judge replied.
"The defendant also wishes to speak on his own behalf," the defense attorney spoke as Meredith returned to her seat.
Alex watched as the judge nodded before he walked to the podium.
"I'm... you know you think you know what you're going to say before you stand up here and then you're here and suddenly you don't know where to start." Alex paused momentarily, trying to gather his thoughts "I am so sorry. That's really what it boils down to. What I did was wrong and I know that. As my friend Meredith said, I did walk in on a scene that I think would have thrown anyone but what happened after that, what I did after that..." he shook his head as he trailed off. "There is no excuse for what I did and I know Andrew DeLuca probably doesn't believe it but I deeply regret my actions that night." He turned back to face him, "I'm sorry for everything. I truly am and I am so relieved that what I did didn't end up costing you your career." Alex turned back to the judge. "I made a horrible mistake that night and I will forever regret that, for what I did to Andrew and to Jo as well. The fact that I've scared her so much that she doesn't feel like she's able to even speak here today..." he let out a heavy breath as he hung his head in shame. "I spent my life trying to be the opposite of my father. He terrorized us all when he was around, us kids and my mom. The fact that I somehow turned into the kind of man he was that night, it haunts me. That is not the man I want to be. That is not the man I am. The man I am, who I have strived to be every day before the night is the man who is a pediatric surgeon, a man who makes waffles every Sunday, and a man who has tried to learn from the mistakes of my past; it's the same man I've striven to be every day after that night as well. I have no excuses, and I am ready to take responsibility for what I've done. I only hope that someday those I hurt that night believe how sorry I am. And that the court takes how remorseful I am into account. Thank you," he finished before returning to his seat.
"Your Honor I also have several character witness letters I'd like to have added," Michael stood up to speak as his client sat.
"If you could hand those over to the bailiff counselor," Judge Atkinson motioned, watching as the tall man retrieved the stack from the defense attorney. "If there is nothing else..."
"Your Honor," Jo stood up in interruption, "I'd-um, I'd like to speak if that's okay."
"Very well," the judge nodded, recognizing her from her testimony in the earlier part of the case.
Jo made her way to the podium somewhat awkwardly. "It was my intention not to speak but I wanted to make sure you knew why. I," she sighed deeply, "I'm not afraid of Alex. Alex and I were happy for a long time, he was good to me for the most part and I think I was good to him too, mostly. But like any couple, we had problems and that night we let someone else get caught up in our problems." She finally looked up from the spot she'd been staring at on the podium. "I didn't want to speak because I really have nothing to add on how someone should be sentenced. I don't know how to make that kind of decision. I do know Andrew DeLuca didn't deserve anything that happened to him that night; the blame for that lies on Alex, and on me," she said as if she were just realizing it. "I just, I didn't want you thinking I felt threatened by Alex. I don't. That's it, I guess."
"Thank you," Judge Atkinson replied before the young woman turned to make her way back to her seat. "I will review the letters as well as the testimony before I render my decision. Court is in recess until tomorrow at ten am." The judge banged his gavel.
"All rise..." The bailiff began speaking as the judge exited the room.
"Thank you," Alex shook his lawyer's hand before he made his way around him, throwing his arms around the woman who had been standing by him every step of the way. "And thank you Mer, what you said..." he pulled back to look at her.
"It was very moving," Michael agreed. "We still have a very good chance of receiving a light sentence or even community service. So go home, get some rest. All we can do is hope the judge shows leniency."
"Alex," Jo made her way towards the group. "I..." she deadpanned as she saw the angry look in Andrew's eyes before he walked passed her brusquely. "Wait," she called after the intern, looking back and forth between her ex and the door her friend had just stormed through.
"We should go," Meredith suggested, holding her hand out to him.
Alex didn't hesitate to take the offered hand, their fingers intertwining naturally before the four of them made their way out of the courtroom leaving his ex standing in limbo.