If you read this and like it, please review! Heck, even if you don't like it, please review! Just don't kill me with hate. .-.
I just couldn't do it. It was to much. I loved you, but you never knew. Every night I dreamt of you, every night I thought of you. I was so happy when you'd talk to me, I was so happy when you'd play with me. We'd play like children; I'd somehow cause a different, childlike innocence to surface.
You would let me sleep against you when it was cold, the way you would accidentally hold me in your sleep, I can never forget that. How cute the blush was on your face when we would wake up. I was in heaven every night that happened.
The whole time, I thought you loved me the way I loved you. You would carry me, play with me, sleep with me; you had even fed me at times. I was so in love with you when we were apart it hurt. I thought that was the worst pain of my life, until the night I saw you two.
I had no idea; I was to stupid to realize. When you weren't with me, you were with him. Those nights I couldn't find you, the next morning you would come out of his tent with him, or come back from the forest with him.
That night as went looking for you and found you in the forest with him, naked and crying out in pleasure. I was in love with the sight, until I finally realized who was making you like that. I ran away, and here I sit now, curled under a tree, sobbing in emotional pain.
I roll over onto my stomach, my hands on my head. I jump and gasp as I feel a hand on my back. I look up and see the familiar face staring down at me in confusion. I see him standing behind you. I snivel, and I know my face is one of pure sorrow.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" You ask, your voice quiet.
I notice that you're wearing pants now. I look away again, crying louder still. I'm lifted off the ground. I look up once more. You're holding me to your chest, stroking my back.
"Don't worry, everything will be fine." You softly stroke the back of my head.
"No it won't." I mumble into your bare chest.
"Why do you think that?" You ask.
"B-because… I can't tell you," I wrap my arms around your stomach tightly, holding you one last time.
"Okay… Well… I'll take you back to your tent; you need to get some rest." I feel you stand up.
You pull me off you, then hold me more comfortably. You start walking while I bury my face into your neck, breathing in your warm, comforting scent. I almost cry myself to sleep as you carry me back to camp. I hear a couple people shuffling about, probably just now going to sleep.
I feel the air around me get a little warmer. After a second, I'm lain down on something else. I open my eyes and see you kneeling beside me. You stand up and walk over to Hector. I watch through teary eyes.
You two speak quietly for a second, then the other man turns and leaves. You turn back around and come back over to me. You kneel beside me.
"So, I don't mean to pry, but will you tell me now that it's just us?" You ask almost silently.
"No, I'm scared it will ruin our friendship." I force out, my voice quivering.
"Nothing can ruin our friendship, Nils." You cup my face in your hands.
"I-I love you. I love you Eliwood." I cry, sitting up.
You stare at me as I lean forward, putting my hands on your shoulders. Your blue eyes grow soft again and you wrap your arms around my stomach.
"Nils, honestly, tell me what's wrong." You repeat.
"That's it, Lord Eliwood. I love you! That's what's so wrong, you love Lord Hector, and I never knew! I thought you loved me the whole time!" I fall forward, pressing my face into your bare chest.
"Nils," I hear you sigh.
Your arms tighten around my stomach more.
"I understand what it feels like to love someone, and I know what it feels like to have a broken heart, and I'm sorry that I don't return the feelings you have for me, but there is no way we could make it work between us. I love Hector, and I always will. I'm sorry that it has to be this way." You mumble as you softly pet my back and press your face into my hair.
"Lord Eliwood, please, leave him. Be with me, please." I beg almost silently, the tears still blurring my vision.
I sit up and look at you. You look just as troubled as me. Your hands cup my face once more. I reach up with one hand, mine being placed softly on yours. As your free hand slips to my chin, our eyes meet, mine blood red and yours deep cobalt.
I feel the tips of two of your fingers on my chin, then my head is slowly lifted. You lean closer and slowly press your lips to mine. As our lips meet, our eyes close. My heart twists, as I know I still can't have you, whether we kiss or not.
I kiss back of course, but I let out a small whine as you pull away. I look up at you, the tears worse now that you've teased me. You slowly stand up, watching me sadly. I sit on my knees, my head back and a constant stream of tears dripping off my face.
"Lord Eliwood," I force out almost silently.
"I'm sorry." You mumble as you turn and leave me, alone and in tears.
I bury my face in my hands, sobbing uncontrollably. I stand up, grab my flute, and stumble out of my tent. Still sobbing, I drop it in front of your tent. I turn and start out toward the woods. On my way, I take Sain's lance, which is placed outside his tent.
I drag it along in the dry leaves on my out into the forest. Do you know what you've made me come to? Eliwood, why do you have to do this to me? I love you, can't you see that? Why can't you love me and not Hector?
I lean against a large oak tree, staring up at the stars through the branches. Sniveling, I lift Sain's lance.
"I love you Eliwood, why can't you love me like I love you?" I mumble, raising the lance and pointing it at my heart. "You deserve better, Lord Eliwood. I know why you don't love me. Because you deserve everything better in the world. I am not one of those things. I hope you're happy with Lord Hector."
Just as I place the tip to my skin and drive it in, I hear a familiar voice. Your voice.
"Nils!" As my vision goes blurry and starts fading, I see red and blue before me.
My legs start getting weak. I stumble forward, coughing up blood as I do. I drop to my knees, gripping the hilt of the lance tightly as pain wrecks my body. I feel a hand on my side. I open my eyes slightly and see you staring at me, eyes wide in fear and shock.
You're holding me, gripping the lance and gently pulling it out of my chest. I weakly raise my bloody hand, placing it on your shoulder.
"Lord-" Blood bubbles from my lips as I speak. "Eliwood,"
"Shush, don't say anything Nils." I feel you lift me off the ground, then you hold me tightly to your chest.
You carry me swiftly to camp. I hear you calling for Serra, but my mind is to foggy to process anything else. I feel soft hands against my skin. I feel grass beneath me. I let my hand slowly and unsurely feel the grass, looking for you.
Did you leave? Where did you go? I reach out desperately. I feel my hand press to something smooth and soft. Long fingers wrap around mine. I don't know if it's you or not, but I grip tighter, clenching my eyes shut.
Everything goes black, and the last thing I feel is a pair of soft lips pressing to my cheek. A whisper, almost as silent as the wind in the trees,
"I always loved you too, Nils."