Disclaimer: This is a RPF and does by no means portray factual events. I do not own Lea or Dianna. This is just a little world I have created in my mind. No Beta, so all mistakes are my own!
X
A/N: This is a one-shot prompted by alyssanm, she asked for a fluffy Achele tickle fight and here we are! Also I have been made aware that there might be something similar out there already? So, if there is I am in no way trying to rip anyone off!
Cover me up, cuddle me in...
(Lea)
"Fucking shit" I am pissed the hell, off. My day has been terrible, pretty much since the second I woke up. Which, you know, is just fantastic! My alarm didn't go off, so I woke up late (yay!) then my fucking coffee machine decided that it didn't want to make me coffee this morning and I didn't have time to buy any on the way to work. And, to make matters worse, Ryan has been on my freaking ass all day to try and finish the latest episode. Which was pretty much an impossible task.
Fuck him. Fuck everyone. I am not going to that stupid cast meal tonight, I am just going to go home. Sulk. And probably watch some reality TV. Yeah, that'll cheer me up. I am already feeling lighter just thinking about it.
Oh-
And I am so getting a new coffee machine on the way home. Yep. I am not taking any chances with this.
X
Thirty minutes later and I am home. The car ride calmed me quite a bit, and that may or may not be due to the fact that I sung along to angry music for twenty minutes straight. This might have included fists banging against the wheel, violent head shaking and two almost car crashes (sooo, not my fault by the way). Don't judge me. It needed to be done.
The door slams shut behind me and find myself frowning. No. Scowling at everything in my sight. I hate everything. Everything sucks. Even the potted plant next to lamp. Especially the potted plant next to the lamp. I hate that potted plant. As I stomp past it, I find that the temptation to kick the plant over is almost too strong, but I resist... for now!
God! I am such a kid having a temper tantrum. Humph. Stupid kids. Argh.
I storm into my bedroom and glare at Claude and Shelia as they snuggle on my bed. Who, obviously sensing my bad mood, immediately scurry out of the door. If I could scowl at myself right now I would, I am such a bad mother. I rip off my clothes and find my big baggy unattractive jammies and throw them on and then I grab the scrunchie on my bed side table -Yes I own a scrunchie. Get over it.- and I yank my hair up into a rough pony. Accidentally ripping out some hair on the way. Which was- ow! And only served the purpose of worsening my mood, just when you didn't think that was possible.
The worst part in it all is that I can't even pig out on junk because there is no crappy food in my house. Which is just, annoying. Food is my love, my answer, my joy. Who's stupid idea was it for me to be a healthy freaking vegan? Oh yeah, me. Good job Lea Michele. Fucking Asshole!
So instead of scoffing my face with ice cream and chocolate like I want to, I find myself having absolutely nothing to do. Wonderful.
Bed it is then.
So, as I'm sure you guessed. I chuck myself face down onto my bed and scream into my pillow. Oh and yeah, I totally punch my fists and kick my legs into the mattress like a petulant child as well. I'm just a dramatic person, OK?
X
(Dianna)
As I take a seat around the table my first thought is about the napkin. It has been folded into a delicate and beautiful swan. I've always wanted to learn the art of origami, and I have yet to find the time in which to do so. It is so fascinating to me and just looks so, intricate. How do they make it stay upright when it is a flimsy silk napkin? I am having a sudden urge to take it apart and, using my handy iPhone, learn how to fold it back up again. I resist the urge though, because I am pretty sure if I did take it apart I would never be able to get it right once more. And it's just so gorgeous.
Taking a glimpse round the table I see that Naya, Mark, Amber and Jenna have already destroyed their elegant swans. How could they murder such a creature? Ok, I know I am taking this thought too far and I am fairly certain that the second my food arrives I will be pulling apart my little swan Queen in seconds. This thought does not however stop me from whipping out my phone and snapping a picture of the napkin from an upwards angle, making the light on ceiling form a shiny halo around its tiny head:
'alittlelamb The Swan Queen has been crowned! /nyly2nzj'
I smile slightly to myself and my eyes immediately try and seek out Lea. This is the case whenever I 'tweet' or whenever I think about Twitter, my thoughts go straight to one Lea Michele, the little addicted. I can't say I mind all that much though.
Actually, where is Lea? I haven't seen her in a few hours and I have noticed the lack of spontaneous laughter and cuddle attacks throughout my day. Oh god. I hope she is ok. I feel like such a horrible person for just realising her absence now.
To my left I have Amber still in a retro Mercedes outfit, bling and 'fro included. Someone obviously forwent getting changed in a need to fill her tummy... Though I can't really talk and I look down at my own outfit sheepishly, I am still clad in a very Quinn summer dress and cardigan. Sometimes your stomach just calls out to you and begs for food. And who I am to deny the needs of a hungry tummy?
Beside Amber we have Mark, then Chris, Cory, Naya, Harry, Jenna, Kevin and Heather. Heather who currently has a thick moustache on her upper lip? I'm not even surprised though, stranger things have happened amongst the cast of Glee. Believe me. Then there we are, full circle, back round to me. An empty seat to my right, and all that is missing is a beautiful lady called Lea with her bubbly personality and obnoxious laughter. I feel a pang of pain in my heart. Whenever she isn't close to me I just miss her.
I cut into the current conversation about bubblegum? And ask if anyone has seen Lea. The whole table grumbles a collective no. I feel the corners of my mouth turning downwards and my eyebrows pinch together. Where is she? My trusty phone is already in my hand so I fire off a quick text;
'Lea, are you ok? There is an empty seat beside me and a menu filled with tasty vegan dishes, I'm surrounded by my closest friends and gentle Jazz music fills my ears. Yet I find it impossible to feel happy without you beside me. Come to me? Xx'
The reply is almost instantaneous and a big smile creeps up on to my face as the second my phone vibrates. The smile soon leaves though;
'Not in the mood. At home. Don't worry.'
I am already on my feet before I have even finished reading her text. It is just all wrong, there is no compassion or joy or enthusiasm or exclamation points or love. There's no Lea in this text. Something must be wrong with her so I aim to fix that straight away.
"Everything ok D?" Amber asks me this gently. Distress must be clear on my face. Everyone looks up at her question with curiosity. I'm quick to reply as they look somewhat worried.
"Umm, yes everything's fine. I just want to go check on Lea, I'm so sorry that I'm ditching you guys... rain check on the meal?" Most shake their heads at me in disregard to my apology, Kevin says as much,
"No need to apologise Di, you go to your girl and call us if you need anything ok?" I smile gently at everyone around the table. Not an angry or disappointed face in sight. Gosh, I am such a lucky girl to be surrounded by such wonderful people on a daily basis.
Lea.
I wave a quick goodbye and receive hurried shout outs in return. In two seconds flat I am out the door and heading straight for my car. Onwards to home. To Lea.
X
It's quiet when I enter our apartment. Now this is not an unusual thing, despite having two crazy cats, they are still incredibly stealthy and hardly ever make a noise. So yes, silence? Not unusual. Silence when Lea is home? Crazy. If my day finishes later than hers, or I've gone out for a stroll, my entrance through the door is never greeted by silence when Lea is home. Never!
Usually I step into a real life musical. With Lea dancing round the kitchen singing freely as she is cooking. Gosh, I love it when she sings like that. Now I am aware that there are many people in this world who are in love with the voice of Lea Michele, but goodness. If they got to hear what I hear every day they would fall in love even more. When she is at home and she sings, without music or backing singers, without care of staying in tune, but singing a song just for fun just for herself, well that, that is a thing of beauty. It's just so raw and carefree, and has not once failed to send shivers down my spine and goosebumps up my neck. I must be the luckiest woman in the world that Lea Michele will sing just for me, whenever I ask.
If it isn't Lea singing then I am often met by the sounds of various 'real housewives' voices booming from the television. If not them, then some other character off of one of those horrendous shows. I don't know how she can watch half of them, because I can not stand them, but I'll watch them with her. Not to watch the shows themselves, but to watch Lea. She just gets so invested in these peoples lives and seeing her reaction and the flurry of emotions that swirl around her face is something I will never get tired of.
Now, if Lea isn't singing or watching the television or listening to music or chatting on the phone or clattering around somewhere in the house then she is normally doing the thing I love to catch her doing the most. If I walk through the door and I hear her laughing and squealing I always, always make a bee-line for the bedroom. Where 100% of the time I will catch her rolling around on our bed with one (or both) of the cats. Playing a silly game with a squeaky mouse. Lea Michele loves animals and Claude and Shelia are no exception. Any animal she meets, looks after or owns is an animal whose life she wants to make perfect. Yes our cats are spoilt rotten. Would I have it any other way? No, because seeing them happy makes Lea so happy and therefore my goal in life is complete.
So you see silence when Lea is home is just not right. It feels wrong and my heart has dropped down to my stomach. If Lea is even slightly sad I just become three times worse, a bubbly girl like Lea should just never be sad. In fact it should be illegal.
Our apartment is very 'open plan' the living room, kitchen and study/clutter area are all in clear view of each other with the occasional half wall in between. So I know Lea must be in our bedroom which is behind its own walls and door, just like the bathrooms and my old bedroom, now the spare. But that is another story for another time.
I head straight to our room, because the bathroom door is slightly ajar. We may be close but we are not that close. I open the door silently and gently peek my head inside, only to be met with darkness and almost inaudible sniffles. I turn on the light immediately and the only evidence that Lea is even in this room is the tiny lump in the bed shaking with silent tears.
"Oh Lea..." Oh god, it absolutely kills me to see her this way. What could have happened? I rush over to her quickly, shrugging off my jacket and slipping off my shoes on the way, before sliding in tightly beside her and rubbing her arm? Leg? Maybe it's her back, well, I am rubbing some part of the lump anyway. "What's wrong gorgeous? What happened? What can I do?" I sound kind of desperate, I know. I don't care though, all I want is my Lea happy again.
Receiving no reply I cautiously pull back the duvet, only to find a nest of hair where her beautiful face should be. I gently push away her brunette locks, "Let me see you angel." And instead of a blubbering mess I am met with- oh! OK.
One thing you should know about Lea: When she gets angry she cries. She is naturally a very emotional person and sometimes all her feelings kind of merge into one big blur, so when she is happy, sad, angry, tired? ...yeah, she'll normally just cry. But each one comes with a different sound and a different face, and Lea? I can read like a book. So I know straight away she is not sad, her hard set jaw and moody eyes tell me that she is in fact... in a grump. Uh-oh. Not with me though. If she was grumpy with she wouldn't let me touch her so I am in the clear.
No, not me. This is a Lea being grumpy with her day moment. I've seen it before and I know she will be fine come morning, but I want her to be happy now. What can I do? Hmmm.
"Oh dear! Is Miss Lea in a grump again?" The glare I receive is incredibly frightening.
"Piss off Di." OK. Patronizing is not the answer. On to plan B!
"Hey Lea..." I wiggle in beside her and snuggle my nose into her neck. She smells divine and I lose my thought process for a few seconds. Oh yeah. Onwards! "...guess who bought home some Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream just for you..." Hey face immediately brightens but only momentarily. Ok, she is past the point where non-vegan fatty foods are the answer. Plan C is a go.
I pull the duvet completely off of her with the pretence of getting underneath myself for a cuddle. She lets out a loud whine in protest. Oh dear, poor Lea does not know what is coming for her. Apparently I am not moving fast enough and in a huff Lea turns so I am face to face with her back, which is kind of perfect actually because if she saw my evil smirk right now she would already be running our of the room.
I squeeze my left arm under her body, pretending to be going in for a snuggle. I also take note of the fact that Lea, ever so slightly, lifts her torso up to accommodate me. She is going to wish she hadn't. Then I very slowly glide my right hand up from her thigh to just below her armpit. She shivers. Then in five... four... three... two...
"Dianna...? What are you doing?" Uh-oh my evil plan has been discovered. Lea knows. "If you even think of tickling me so help me God I will-" ONE! Using my right hand I pull Lea over so she is flat on her back, ripping my left arm out from under her and use my new freedom to pin her arms above her head. I know Lea very well and she will use any means necessary to gain an escape. Including seduction.
With her hands safely restrained I look down into her eyes, her pupils are blown and her cheeks flushed. This kind of distracts me for a moment before I see that yes, she may be slightly aroused but she is mainly angry. A sharp kick on my backside with the back of her heel confirms my suspicions. Definitely angry.
"Seriously Dianna don't you even." Her voice is sharp and daring.
"Don't what Lee-Lee." I feign innocence, childish voice included.
"Don't you give me that Miss Agron, I am not in the mood for this. Seriously. I wont talk to you ever again." I don't hear the second part of her sentence, due to my loud and childish singing. Oops. What a shame.
"Oh Leeeeeaaaa." I draw out her name like a five year old. Normally my silly antics will cause her to giggle, right now her glare is unwavering.
"What?" Ooo someone's snappy.
"Did ya know that I looovvvee yoouuu?" Gosh I'm so annoying.
I don't give her a chance to reply before I snap both of my hands onto her sides and proceed to tickle the shit out of her. Her loud laughter immediately floats through the room. Wonderful. I've missed that laugh all day. I wiggle my fingers and dig them into her ribs. I am relentless. I am the tickle master. Mister tickle? Pfft he's got nothing on me. Lea's pleas go ignored;
"Du-Di-d-an-nnnnaaaaaaa! N-NO! Don-t-pl-e-assseee!"
Then as I slide my vibrating fingers up underneath her arm pits where the tickling continues my face moves down to her belly. Which is now in full view due to her desperate wiggling riding her top up.
"Ohh look at that belly." I speak in a voice that can only be described as a ninety year old women patronizing a baby. Lea knows what's coming. Her struggling becomes more frantic. But I am stronger than her and use this to my advantage, pinning her down I take in a deep, loud, obnoxious breath and... blow a massive raspberry on her stomach. The screech that leaves her is almost deafening. Jesus. That voice from such a tiny woman is just unreal. I mean seriously, my ears are ringing.
Still, I continue. My hands alternate between her armpits, ribs and sides and my mouth is busy blowing continuous raspberries on her flat little belly. Lea? Well she is a blubbering mess. Her body has not given up its struggle to freedom but she her self is unsure whether to laugh or cry, so she is doing a mixture of both. It is quite a sight to behold. She isn't angry any more, I can see the exhilaration and joy and love in her eyes. My Lea is back.
Gosh, tickling someone is tiring business but I don't plan to stop any time soon. That is until I hear Lea breath out (in-between her blubbers) something about peeing her pants. Oh! My relentless hands soon change their tickling ways into gentle strokes and my raspberry blowing mouth moves on to soft kisses. Lea lets out a shaky breath of relief and I push myself up so we are face to face.
Her hair is a mess, her cheeks are flushed, she is having difficultly breathing and she is a little bit sweaty. I fear I look just the same. In fact I know I look the same. But I don't mind, because my girl is happy again and life is wonderful. Lea glares up at me playfully,
"You are evil Dianna Agron. Evil!" Too right I am.
"I have no idea what you are referring to Lea." And then I swoop down and cut off her come back with a deep kiss. Our tongues tangling together and both of us groaning with relief. It really has been too long. "I love you Lea."
"Love you too lady!" She smiles a smile at me that is so breathtaking. It is one of those smiles that could make anyone fall in love with her. But it is actually just a smile all for me.
"Are you ok now?" I approach this with caution because I don't want her to get grumpy again because I really don't have much energy left.
"Dianna... you're on top of me. In bed. What could possibly not be ok with this situation?" My energy levels suddenly perk up. As does my eyebrow.
"Well Lea." My voice is just all kinds of suggestive. "How about we see how OK we can make this 'situation' then." Cheesey I know but it works and I dip my head down for another kiss only to be met with a mouthful of pillow. Huh? Where'd my kiss go?
I turn to the door just in time to see Leas back skipping out of the room. Two words on her lips.
"Ice Cream!"
"LEA!"
X