Hiding the truth.
"Nessie!" I heard a familiar deep voice come from behind me. I shut my eyes almost believing that doing so would keep me hidden. Jacob is someone I knew all too well and I could smell his warm scent from a mile away, and I knew that he would find me one way or the other.
I tried my hardest to blend into the tree that I was currently lounging in, hoping to get some peace and quiet. I felt bad about not including Jacob, but sometimes I needed to be alone for a moment and away from my chaotic family who insisted on treating me like a baby.
Not even a minute later I heard the twigs below the tree being crushed under a tremendous amount of weight, that weight being Jacob who stood a few inches short of seven feet tall. I didn't feel like leaving just yet and hoped if I didn't make any noise maybe he would give up and walk away. I knew that wasn't an option and no matter what Jake would console me down.
"I know you're up there Renesmee." He said, with a hint of amusement in his voice. Fudge. I thought. If I would have said that word out loud I would not have been able to live it down. I've heard my fair share of profanity from Jacob through the years and although he's gotten better with holding himself back and using other choice words, I still caught on to them at a younger age and had ignorantly asked me father what a certain 's' word meant.
I didn't make a sound, and I wasn't going to. Even though I was only a half breed, I could stay still forever if my parents would let me. In some ways I was more vampire than human, always preferring blood rather than human food.
The tree began to move and I knew that Jacob was getting ready to climb up, I sighed knowing that an argument was not what I needed right now. I was now six years old in earth years but according to Carlisle I had the physical look of a thirteen year old, well as of six months ago. He hadn't had the time to measure me recently but I figured I must look older by now.
Jacob's scent was even more powerful since he couldn't be more than twenty feet below me. He was my best friend and his presence didn't bother me, sure sometimes he got on my last nerves but that didn't mean I didn't love him to death and didn't want him near me. It was always nice to have Jake around; he was always warm and smelt of Pine and leaves. It was an earthly scent that I had come to love.
He wasn't much for personal space, unless it was vampires he was dealing with. But I was different and I knew this. He knew my mind probably better than I did and he more than likely knew the reason for my absence from my study time today. "Nessie, do you want me to come up or should I wait down here until you're ready to come down?" He asked which filled my heart with joy. Jacob treated me like and equal which is what I loved most about him.
"You can come up." I replied to him, and before I could blink he was beside me on a tree branch that could actually support his weight. He smiled at me, lighting up his russet face. I smiled back and shook my head. He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "Want to tell me what's wrong?" He asked.
"It's just…" I tried to tell him but I didn't exactly have the words to explain. My family was beginning to wear on my patience but I had also been developing mood swings, and experiencing growth pains more often, making me even more impatient and ready to snap at someone who so much as teased me, that someone being Uncle Emmett.
"You can tell me." He urged. I felt comfortable in his warm arms, he had always been my best friend and I could trust him with my life. He looked at me, his brown eyes piercing into mine; he grinned and pinched my cheek. I rolled my eyes and looked at my hands.
"Mom and dad are making me so angry lately. They won't let me have my freedom. Not to mention Grandpa Carlisle is always making me study and making sure that I have a good education and a strong mind which I am extremely grateful for but it gets to be too much, and then Uncle Emmet is always teasing me about my appearance and how at the moment my legs are a bit too long for my body, and then Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie are always fussing over me and telling me how to maintain my curls and I can't take any more of it because I'm sure at any moment I will explode." I said.
Jake smiled at me and ruffled my hair; he then buried his head in my curls and inhaled. He told me that I smelt like a rose when I had told him that I enjoyed his scent a few months ago. He then turned my head so I was looking at him. "Nessie, sweetheart, I'm sorry they are making you feel like that but they're your family they will always be like that." He told her.
I wanted to mention her recent changes but thought it was best if I had just kept it to myself at the moment. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. "Jake it's not that, well it is but it's more like how they're effecting my emotions, for instance when Uncle Emmett mentions my legs I start to feel as if my appearance isn't pleasant enough-" I stopped, seeing the look on Jake's face, he looked genuinely upset.
"Nessie, don't you ever think you're not beautiful. You are the most beautiful thing that has ever entered my life." He told me. Jacob always told me I was beautiful it was something a father would say, and my father did tell me that a lot. I could see a frown begin to form on his face. "Have you ever thought to talk about this to your family?" he asked me.
I shook my head. "I don't think they would understand. I know they only want the best for me but I want some space." I explained. He nodded his head, understanding. "Aw Ness, I'm really sorry you feel this way and I wish I could make them stop treating you like a child but they've always been like that with you along with being extremely over protective." He told me.
Jacob was making me feel better; he always knew how to make me feel better. He always told me that he would be right beside me whenever I needed him and at that moment I needed him. I felt my eyes begin to well with tears and soon enough my cheeks were stained with the streaks of fallen tears. Jake reached over and wiped them away; he pulled me into his chest and stroked my hair. "Don't cry it'll get better. I promise." He told me.
I looked up and smiled; he smiled back and looked down. "Are you ready to go home Kiddo?" He asked. I shook my head. "Can't we just stay up here a little while longer? Please?" I said, sticking my lip out into the pout that Jacob could never resist.
He rolled his eyes, and grinned. "Sure, sure, but you have to face them eventually." He said. I hugged him and then leaned my head on his shoulder. "Are they mad?" I asked him.
"They seem more upset than mad, they sent me after you because they knew you wouldn't want to speak with them." He said. I nodded with understanding and wiped the excess tears that fell. "Alright let's go home." I told him.
"Are you sure?" he questioned. I nodded and reluctantly climbed down the tree. Jacob soon followed and went behind some trees to phase. When he came back in his wolf form he nuzzled me and made me get on his back. I rode on him, enjoying the thrill of the wind rushing through my bronzed hair. Forgetting everything until we reached the house where my family was already waiting for me in the front.
I climbed off of him and waited until he came back in his human form, to approach my family. I felt his hand on my shoulder as he urged me to go forward.
My mom looked as if she were going to have a mental break down and my father was pinching the bridge of his nose out of frustration. I was waiting for them to give me a lecture, because that's what they usually did.
"Do you realize how worried we've been?" both my parents asked. It's not like I left to another city, just twenty miles south of the house. Safe and close enough to get back without much trouble. My father must have been reading my thoughts because he had a flash of anger cross his face. "It doesn't matter how close you were, the fact of the matter is that you left without telling any of us where you were going."
"It's not like you would have let me leave either way Father." I snapped. I felt guilt wash over me as I saw the hurt on his face. I had never snapped at my parents. "I'm sorry Daddy. I didn't mean to snap at you like that." I apologized.
They led me into the house where they sat me on the couch. Jake sat next to me, keeping my hand in his for support. "We have noticed quite a lot of change in your attitude lately, and frankly I'm disappointed in your lack of control." My dad said. I lowered my head, and Jake lifted it back up, so my eyes were connected with my fathers. I inwardly cursed him; he was supposed to be on my side.
"I don't know what has been coming over me. I'm sorry, it's just that every little things seems to be annoying me now and all of you just fuss over me, I needed to be alone for a while." I tried to tell them. Carlisle looked perplexed while my aunts began to smile at me.
"It seems as if she's maturing." My Grandfather said to no one in particular. I looked at him horrified and Jacob looked at him, he squirmed and I knew this conversation was getting uncomfortable.
"Maturing?" Jacob asked. His russet face then turned a slight shade of red. "Oh, um maybe I should go." He said. While he was getting up I grabbed his hand. I needed him for moral support but quickly let go knowing it wasn't fair.
"S'Okay Ness, I'll be back later. I promise." He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and left. I was on my own in this one. Uncle Jasper immediately sat next to me and I knew he was reading my moods. Uncle Emmett looked disgusted and left the room obviously not wanting to hear the conversation. "Good luck with everything, Squirt." He threw over his shoulder, even though I was already 5'7 Uncle Emmett always insisted on calling me his ridiculous little nickname.
"So soon?" My father asked.
"Well she hasn't had a check up in six months, and besides that Edward, have you taken a look at her? She already looks like she's seventeen. I could check her actual age now if you'd like." Grandpa suggested. My father and my mother nodded solemnly while my aunts had smiles plastered on their faces.
Grandpa pulled me into his office and immediately began tests. He tested my intelligence and my physical state. He looked me over and shook his head. "You my sweet Renesmee are growing up way to fast." He said. I smiled. "Sorry grandpa; can't help it." He smiled, and shook his head.
After a few hours of examination we all met in the living room, along with Jake.
"I believe she is seventeen, but I can't be sure since she hasn't started her menstrual cycle yet. Which she should have started a few months ago at this stage of development." He openly said. I blushed a deep crimson and hid my face in my hands. I snuck a peek at Jacob who seemed to be trying to hide his discomfort.
"Actually, um… I kind of have." I said. I had been trying to hide it, but soon enough Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie had figured it out. They promised to keep it a secret, and were probably happy that it was now in the open and no longer had to conceal their thoughts from my father.
"When did this happen?" My father asked, not wanting to believe it.
"About six months ago." I admitted. Both my parents seemed upset and evidently I felt guilty about hiding it from them. Carlisle didn't seem surprised at all.
"Well it seems as if you have already reached puberty my dear, and you are becoming a lovely young women, at this stage of development I wouldn't be surprised if you stopped aging." He said.
I don't know why but it seemed as if the atmosphere had changed, Jacob had a strange look on his face and immediately stood up. "I have to, er, go." He said. Everyone nodded knowingly and I frowned. Jacob looked over and smiled at me.
"Don't frown, I just have to go to La Push, I'll be back tomorrow." And then he left, without even kissing my forehead.
It seemed as if I wasn't the only one feeling the effect of my change. I looked up at my parents who only smiled sadly. I was confused as to why everyone was hiding something; I knew they were hiding something.
"Is there something you're not telling me?" I asked them. They all shook their heads and looked away. I knew who would tell me, I looked at Aunt Rosalie. "What aren't you telling me, I know there's something? You promised never to keep anything from me." I pouted. I knew it was a low blow but I hated when I was left in the dark, it was like I didn't belong.
"Oh Nessie, you know I don't ever keep anything from you. But this isn't my business to tell, with patience everything will be told to you. Just not yet." She told me. I could feel anger build up inside me and I suddenly stood up. "So everyone is in on this little secret and you can't tell me? Do you think I can't handle it?" I demanded. They all looked at me with remorse on their faces.
"Honey, you have to understand that we can't be the ones to tell you. You have to wait. I promise everything will become clear in a few months." My father soothed. My mom and father came closer to me and pulled me into a hug. "I just can't believe you're growing up so fast." My mom said. She kissed the side of my head and let go, my father reached down and kissed my forehead and gave my hand a squeeze. "Patience, my dearest." He said.
I frowned but decided to let it go, for now. I went to the cottage and into my room. I contemplated situations in my head. My family had never kept secrets from me not unless it involved me being in mortal danger but I'm sure they would be tenser if that were the case. And why the hell did Jacob just up and leave in the middle of that discussion, sure it was uncomfortable but I needed him, I couldn't function without him.
I was lost in my thoughts and too focused that I didn't realize that someone had stepped into my room, I glanced up and seen that it was Aunt Alice. I sat up as she sat on my bed, I felt her cold skin even without touching her, but I was used to it. It was actually comforting even as comforting as Jacobs warm skin at times.
My temperature was of course, slightly cooler than his. But his warmth always spread through me and it made me feel comforted and protected. I knew Jacob would never let anything bad happen to me, and I knew he loved me- he's my bestfriend.
I turned my attention towards my aunt, who smiled at me. She pulled out a box of pads and handed them to me knowing my cycle all too well. I rolled my eyes and took them from her, feeling the blush creep unto my cheeks. "So is there something else you wanted besides to give me, my...er, feminine things?" I asked her knowing she had other intentions. She grinned at my insistence of not using the word 'pads' I glared at her. "I don't have all day." I said, which wasn't true, we could sit here for all eternity and never grow old.
"Well firstly I wanted to tell you how proud I am that you came clean to everyone about your lady troubles, and I wanted to apologize for us keeping you in the dark. I feel like I need to explain our reasoning for this." She said. I nodded for her to continue, hoping she would explain why no one would tell me why Jacob had left.
"You love Jacob, right?" she asked me. Was that some sort of trick question? Of course I did. "Yes." I told her confidently. She nodded her head and looked into my brown eyes, the same color as my mother's used to be before she was changed. "Well hold onto that ok… in a few months you're going to be hit with information you might find a bit scary but trust me everything will be fine." She assured me.
What was she hiding now? "Auntie, what did you see?" I asked her. She must have had a vision about something that must have made me a bit uncomfortable. "I can't tell you but you'll find out soon okay." She winked and left me in my room even more confused than before she came in.
Falling fast.
I had fallen asleep somehow, even though I was still confused because of yesterday's events. The frustration must have taken a toll on me. I yawned and sat up already hearing everyone at the main house up and talking. I couldn't make out their words since my hearing wasn't as great but I could hear the faint sound of voices.
I hopped out of bed and quickly slipped into a pair of skinny jeans and a blue blouse Aunt Alice had bought me from her trip to California. I brushed through my ringlets and let them fall down my back as I took off towards the house.
Once inside it seemed as if the talking had completely stopped because of my presence. I rolled my eyes and walked into the living room where everyone was sitting around. They smiled at me as I walked in and I couldn't help but feel a bit of resentment towards them. Uncle Jasper felt my sudden mood change and frowned at me.
"Don't stop talking on my account." I said bitterly. They all seemed a bit taken aback by my outburst but frankly I didn't care. "I don't understand why all of you are acting so different just because of my sudden changes, is there something wrong with me?" I whispered. My father sat up quickly with a sad look on his face. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, love. You are perfect and we're sorry for you feeling as if we are keeping something from you but please try to understand that as much as we wish we could tell you, we just can't." He said. I nodded my head but didn't bother answering back.
I heard the door open and smelt pine wood, a smile instantly landed on my face but quickly disappeared when I remembered that Jake had left me to fend for myself.
He walked towards me with his arms wide open and expected me to go running into them, I frowned and turned away. I heard Emmett clear his throat probably from the awkwardness that I'm sure everyone felt. "We'll just leave you two alone." Uncle Jasper said in his southern drawl. He gave Alice a look and they left, my parents and grandparents followed behind. Aunt Rosalie had to drag Uncle Emmett by the ear in order to get him to leave. As soon as the door shut I turned around and faced Jake.
"Are you mad at me?" He asked. His voice filled with guilt. I glared at him. "No Jacob, why would I be mad at you? It couldn't because you left me yesterday in an awkward situation when it was obvious that I needed you." I pouted. Jake held his arms open and came closer to me, I took a step back. "Awe, come on Ness. I'm sorry, but that wasn't exactly a conversation I wanted to hear." He said I sighed and ran into his arms. He wrapped his warm arms around me and I couldn't help but notice how well defined they were. Wait, what?
"I'm sorry for leaving you yesterday, it won't ever happen again. As long as you need me or want me I will always be here, okay?" he asked, and I could sense the hint of hope in his voice and the sincerity that leaked out. I nodded my head. "Fine, I forgive you." I told him, still confused as to why I had thought that. I took a step back and noticed that Jake was actually quite tall and I barely reached his chest, his muscular chest.
I heard a growl, and was shocked to see that my father was the one who had did it as he walked in the door. Oh dammit, he heard what I was thinking. My father coughed and I looked at him and blushed. This was bad, really bad. Jake had never been anything more than a friend, why was I suddenly noticing things that I hadn't noticed before? Is this what my family had been hiding from me? That I have an attraction towards Jake?
"That's part of it." My father grumbled, my mother smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. I took a step towards me father and placed my palm on his cheek. Please don't tell anyone what I've been thinking about, I couldn't live it down. I mentally told him and showed him feelings of embarrassment. I was relieved when my father nodded and looked at Jake.
….
"Something you want to share with me?" Jake asked as we made our way through the forest to my father's dismay. I could sense that he would be getting more protective since my newfound feelings for Jake. It was strange because I loved Jake, but I never thought that I could be in love with Jake, It never crossed my mind but now I knew that I was in deep trouble because I could feel me starting to love Jake in a way that he probably would never love me. It was like a magnetic pull and I couldn't get enough of him.
It took me a while to realize that I had never answered Jake's question and that he was currently waving his tanned hand in front of my face. My head snapped up and I looked into his eyes now seeing that when the sun hit them the brown in them became more pronounced. "Sorry Jake, I've just been kind of out of it since the talk I had last night with my family." I explained to him. I could sense a bit of embarrassment flush over him since you could see a hint of red cover his tan face. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, his voice sounding hoarse. I giggled and shook my head. Did I just giggle? "Thank God." I heard him whisper. I playfully pushed him away and rolled my eyes. "Boys..." I replied playfully. He looked at me and grinned.
We planned to climb trees since it was a hobby of mine and helped clear my mind. Jake stopped in front of a tree that had to be at least a hundred feet tall. I smiled and grabbed onto the trunk, latching onto a branch and hopping up. "Be careful, Sweetheart." He said. He had called me 'sweetheart' many times before but this time it made my heart swoon. My Jacob. I thought. Why was I suddenly acting this way around him? I knew this had something to do with the fact that in a few months I would be fully mature and would stop aging, and growing, were my feelings supposed to change? Did growing up make me feel this way towards Jake?
I climbed to the very top and felt Jacob's presence near, knowing he was only climbing in case I fell to my death; well rather fall to gain a little bit of discomfort, my skin was as nearly indestructible of that as a full vampire. I looked around and took in the amazing scenery displayed in front of me. The forest looked lush and dense, and at the top of the trees the sun hit my skin so it had a subtle sparkle. I smiled, this was beautiful.
Jake was sitting next to me, taking in everything as well. "It's beautiful." I told him. He turned to me and smiled, and I knew he wanted to say something but was holding back. He brushed a piece of hair that was falling in my face behind my ear. I smiled shyly and looked ahead again, was I falling for Jacob Black?
"What are you thinking about?" He asked me. If only he knew I thought. Instead I decided to show him pictures of me growing up with him, I pressed my palm to his cheek and he smiled as I showed him. "I miss those days." He said. I frowned; he missed me being a child? I pressed my palm against his cheek again. Do you still wish I were younger? I asked him, afraid to say it out loud. He shook his head. "In some ways I do, but no. I'm just happy knowing you're growing up healthy." He told me, probably just to reassure me. I love you. I said as I touched his cheek once again. He grinned and kissed my knuckles. "I love you too, Nessie."
I knew I had an attraction towards Jake, my brain told me it was only because of my raging hormones that I was experiencing as of now because of my lovely menstrual cycle that Alice so happily told me would be coming tomorrow. But my heart was saying that I and Jake were meant to be together, we were bound to each other. How could I be falling for him so quick? Just yesterday he was my best friend and now all of a sudden I started feeling things for him. Was this what my family was so worried about? Because it sucked, it really did knowing that I was growing up and I knew soon I would have to face Jake and tell him just what had been going on. How could anything be the same? Would he run away if I told him my true feelings?
I decided right then that I could wait a couple months to tell him, I would be fully mature then and hopefully understand my feelings for him more. I loved Jake, I would die for him. Was that love? Was it love if you were willing to sacrifice yourself in order to keep the one person alive and well? It must've been since I could never imagine a world without Jacob.
He still sat beside me as we gazed through the trees, only communicating when I pressed my palm into his cheek. I loved using my gift; my father told me it was what made me even more special than what I already am. If I were upset or didn't want anyone to know something I would just tell them by showing them, it was easier.
"Ness?" I heard him say, I turned my head and looked at him, he seemed worried. "Yes Jacob?" I answered. He was troubled I could tell because of the way his eyebrows scrunched together. I pressed my fingers to his eyebrows and once I did his face relaxed. "Is there something bothering you?" He asked, and for a moment I thought he had caught on to my true feelings which would have been absolutely mortifying.
"Um... nothing really." I lied. I could lie easily, and make something look real. I lived a lie every day, making people believe I was something I'm not. Jacob was the only person that could catch on to my lies but it seemed that he let it slide for now. I felt him wrap his arms around me and pull me closer, I took in his scent and smiled. "Someone smells a bit doggish today." I teased. He grimaced. "Sorry, I had patrols last night I didn't have time to take a shower." He said, a smile tugging on the corners of his lips.
"I was only teasing Jake. You smell the same as always." I said. He squeezed my arm and let go. "Whatever you say, Ness, are you ready to go?" He asked. I thought about it a little bit longer than I should have partly to annoy him and get a bit of humor out of the situation. "I don't know, I mean I would love to just sit on this tree for the rest of the night and watch as the animals crawl below." I smiled.
"Animals don't crawl." He said teasing back. I laughed and pushed him away. "Fine let's go wolf boy." I told him. I started descending the tree branches and finally landed on the ground, Jake followed behind. "Do you want to walk there?" He asked. I nodded my head; it felt nice being so close to Jake. I felt protected.
I had always wondered about Jake and why he was always there for me, not that I was complaining. He was just always around since the day I was born, he watched me start to walk, talk, and read. He took me out hunting, and always made sure I was okay. It seemed as if he would give up his life for me. I felt a strong connection with him, and I loved him dearly. In a way I felt like we were meant for each other but I couldn't figure out why I had these strange feelings.
"Where did you go?" He asked as I looked towards him. I smiled and shook my head; I was always getting lost in my thoughts. "I was just thinking about things." I said, kind of truthfully. I didn't like keeping Jake in the dark about things but I wasn't sure how he would handle it if I told him I saw him more than a best friend.
"Hey, Jake?" I said. I looked up at him, almost getting lost in his eyes. "Yeah?" He asked. "I was just wondering about something…" I trailed off, at this point we were about two miles away from the house and I knew my family could hear me. "Wondering about what?" He questioned. I knew my father would be listening. Dad, get out of my head. I thought only hoping he would listen. I pressed my palm against Jakes cheek. Have you ever been in love?
Beneath my hand I could feel him tense up; he blinked then turned to me. "Um, I don't think that's an appropriate question." He told me. I frowned "I don't see why not, I was just curious." I explained to him, hoping he would answer. I watched as he shook his head and stumbled over words. "Don't lie to me." I said, my voice wavering. He knew I had always been completely honest with him, although I haven't recently, I knew I had him and he would tell me.
After a deep breath he turned towards me and said. "Yes, I've been in love before." He answered. I felt my fast beating heart stop for a split second, and I'm sure my whole family heard including Jacob. "Who was she?" I asked him. He looked away and he wouldn't meet my eyes, he was hiding something from me. "What are you hiding from me, Jake?" I asked.
Before he could answer I heard a rustle in the trees, Jake stepped in front of me ready to attack but when he caught the scent he wrinkled his nose. "Jeez Bells, you stink even more than usual." Jacob told my mom who had just popped out of the forest and unto the trail. She rolled her eyes and looked at me. "Come with my Nessie." She told me. I felt Jake sigh with relief I looked over at him and glared. This is not over. He reached over to give me a hug and I stepped away, not looking at his face knowing if I did I wouldn't be able to resist.
"What are you waiting for mom?" I called several yards ahead of where she still stood stunned. As I walked I heard her approach me. "You hurt his feelings." She told me, and I shrugged. Serves him right. "Honey, why were you asking him those questions?" she asked me curiously and I shrugged again. "I don't know, I was just curious?" I said, truthfully. Well sort of truthfully since I didn't exactly understand why I had started asking him the questions either. "Jake isn't comfortable with those kinds of questions, you need to respect his privacy." She told me and I knew she was trying to hide something from me. "I don't see why he can't tell me, I tell him everything." I said.
It hurt knowing that my whole family wouldn't fill me in, even Jacob; someone I thought could trust me with anything. "In time you will find out everything you need to know, but please just stop with the interrogations Renesmee, and I mean it, when the time comes everything will be shown to you okay?." My mother said sternly. She hadn't used that tone on my in years. "Whatever you say mother." I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings; I just wanted to know why everyone was acting so weird around me all of a sudden.
I walked inside the main house with my mother beside me. I sat on the couch next to Uncle Emmett while he joked with my father. "Is something bothering you?" Uncle Jasper asked coming to sit next to me. I didn't have favorites in my family but if I did Uncle Jasper would be one of them, no matter what he always made me feel better even without using his gift. "Not so much anymore, I just can't help but feel like my emotions are changing too quickly." I told him and I could tell he understood.
"I know Nessie that everything seems different right now and your feelings are making you confused but I just wanted to tell you that it's normal to feel a bit insecure and troubled right now. Tell me if you need anything, okay?" He said. I nodded my head and smiled; thanking him. He kissed my head and went to walk with Aunt Alice.
I felt more calm than I had before and I felt a bit reassured, it was Uncle Jasper using his gift of course. But even his gift couldn't stop my mind from wondering. Who could I tell about my new found feelings for Jacob? Would they even understand, I knew my father had already caught me thinking about Jacobs's body and how well defined it was… Oh God. Sorry Daddy. I thought before he could let out another hiss. I had to maintain myself and control my emotions at least when I'm around my family.
I felt the couch sink beside me and my father looked at me. "We'll talk later." He said. He knew, he knew about everything. Maybe I was just overreacting, but my thoughts had given me away. But he kissed my forehead anyway. I touched his cheek. I'm sorry. He nodded and looked at my mother who showed up at his side. We made our way to the cottage and I prepared myself for a talk. One I'm sure I was going to regret.
When things start getting tough
I was right about the talk I had with my father which happened exactly three months ago. It was awkward having both my parents staring at me and making me squirm. They explained that I needed to control my thoughts and emotions, and I wanted to scream I'm trying! Apparently they got the point and left it alone.
I still thought about Jake as more than a friend, honestly he was the only person I ever saw myself being with and my father was not exactly happy with that. He had some rules when I hung out with Jake who was still clueless to the fact that I was in love with him. My father explained to me that I was going to be mature soon so of course my feelings towards Jake would change, after all he was my best friend and usually crap like this always happened.
He told me I had to keep a certain distance away from Jake, which Jake caught onto quite easily. He pulled me aside one day as we were walking to my house. He made me look into his eyes because I was trying to avoid them knowing I would get lost in them.
"Is there something you're not telling me?" Jake asked. I bit my lip unsure. I couldn't exactly be honest with him and it was killing me. I was always truthful with him and I didn't want to stop now because of my feelings. My father had made it clear though that I had to keep it under control and let everything just take its time.
Finally I shook my head and looked away. I could sense him looking at me knowing that I wasn't giving him the whole story. I started to walk away when he grabbed me by my wrist and turned me towards him, immediately I felt my heart skip a beat. I looked into his brown eyes as he searched mine for something. I stared at him hoping that if I did he would drop the subject. "I know you're hiding something from me, but I'll figure it out eventually." He promised a playful grin on his face. I shook my head and smiled, deciding to act innocent.
"Whatever are you talking about, Jacob?" I asked innocently. I smiled as he let out a chuckle. He brushed my cheek with his fingers, an intimate gesture that made my stomach sore. "Ness you may be a good liar but you don't fool me." He said. I laughed and started to walk away, I smiled when I heard him following me. He was my Jacob, even though I would never admit that out loud.
We were inside the main house with my family all gathered around. Jacob was in the kitchen with Grandma Esme, drooling over her cooking. Ever since my mom had changed she had never had someone to cook for so she loved it when Jake came over so her skills didn't go to waste. I wasn't one for human food, blood was good enough for me but my parents made me eat now and again because my body didn't completely reject the food.
I was in a conversation with Aunt Alice about her next shopping trip when Grandma Esme called me to the table. I groaned and walked over; I sat down and stared at the plate in front of me. I watched in horror as Jake inhaled his food, as if he hadn't ate in days. I scrunched up my nose and looked at my family who just watched in amusement. "This is torture." I told them, holding my breath. They all laughed and Jake gave me a look. He had always made me eat the food because he was scared if I didn't I would get sick. Being a half breed had its downside.
"So Nessie, we hear you have a crush." Uncle Emmett said. I froze and looked over at him, I had still not taken a bite of my food and I was happy about that because at that moment it felt as if I were going to puke. "What are you t-talking about?" I stuttered. My gaze met Jake's and he looked confused. I looked away quickly hoping I didn't give it away. I heard my father hiss at them, trying to get them to stop.
How the hell did they find out? I thought, and my gaze met my mother's who looked down guiltily. I was furious, I couldn't let Jake find out, even if I were fully mature… what if he rejected me? My mother must have let it slip to Aunt Rosalie, unless they beat it out of her. My mother wasn't much of a liar. "I can't believe this." I said, and everyone's eyes turned towards me, including Jakes. My knees buckled because of the gaze he held on me.
"It's alright Ness, I think it's funny." Uncle Emmett smirked. I got up from the table and grabbed the plate, throwing it at his head. He dodged it as I expected and laughed. "Someone is getting defensive." He said. "I hope you don't expect me to pick that up." He laughed, looking towards the shattered plate on the ground. I threw an apologetic look at Grandma Esme; she only shook her head and mouthed 'It's okay'
"Emmett stop now." Aunt Rosalie warned. Even though she didn't like Jake, she loved me and she knew that this would mortify me to the point where I wouldn't want to leave my room. He threw her a look. "I was just having some fun." He said. I looked at my family who all seemed to be glaring at him. "What?" he asked. I was angry, how could he do that? I started walking towards him, leaving Jake at the table still dumbfounded by my behavior. "You have no right to say anything about my personal life, and as of this moment I can honestly say I hate you." I spat. I had never seen Uncle Emmett look so hurt but I didn't care, I was mad.
"Renesmee..." My mother said; I shook my head blinking back the tears that threatened to fall. I stormed out of the house and started making my way back to the cottage. I was making a mental list of things that could have been more embarrassing than that, I was on number fifteen when I heard footsteps behind me. I spun around and seen that the leaves were rustling. My crouched down, ready to defend myself when I seen it was only Jake. I sighed with relief and stood up; he walked towards me with his hands in front of him. I rolled my eyes and laughed.
"I wasn't going to hurt you." I told him, as I began walking again. He grinned and put his arm around my shoulder, my heart did a flip. "Is there something wrong with your heart?" He asked, concerned. I shook my head and blushed. Crap I really need to control that. "So what was with that little show back there?" he asked, obviously curious more about what Uncle Emmett had said rather than me throwing a plate at my uncle. I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing, Just Emmett being Emmett." I told him. "So you don't have a crush on someone?" He asked me. I froze, what was I supposed to tell him?
"Um... well..." I stuttered, not knowing how to answer that. I didn't like lying to Jacob and he could see right through me so at that moment I sighed and looked at him.
He raised an eyebrow and waited for my answer.
"Yeah, I do." I told him honestly. And I saw something flash across his face... rage? hurt?... jealousy? I wasn't sure.
"Oh." he said, and then he started walking away from me. I furrowed my eyebrows together, did I do something wrong? I was honest with him, well not completely. How could I tell him that I was in love with him?
I ran to catch up to him but he walked faster.
"Jake!" I called but he still walked away. I felt impatience grow inside of me.
"Jake!" I said louder, but he still walked.
What did I do? Why was he mad? Did he, dare I say it, feel jealous. But he had nothing to be jealous about.
"JACOB BLACK!" I shouted, and that got his attention, he swirled around and I came face to face with him, a mixture of hurt and jealousy on his face.
"What do you want Renesmee?" he asked, I ignored the tone in his voice.
"What's wrong?" I asked.