A/N: This picks up right at the end of "Human Error", the Season 3 finale. Definitely a House/Cameron.
Spoilers: Season 3
Rating: K+ right now. Subject to change.
Disclaimer: If I owned House, the fellows wouldn't have quit/been fired, and the Chase/Cameron kiss in the finale wouldn't have happened.
----------
Cameron pulled away from Chase with a sad look on her face. He looked puzzled for a minute, then leaned in for another kiss. He was more than a little surprised when she moved away from him.
"What's going on, Cam?" He asked, a little miffed. She looked up at him, and the anger was apparent on her face.
"It's him!" She replied. He understood instantly that she was talking about their older, masochistic, bastard boss. Or former boss, as it were. Cameron was on the verge of tears now. "I thought that if I just gave up on him and moved on with someone else, with you, that it would go away, but it's still there." Chase felt the disappointment start in. "You're an amazing guy, Chase, you're a good doctor, and you're a nice man, but..."
"I'm not him." Chase finished for her, tonelessly. She nodded silently as the tears streamed down her face. As mad as he was at her, Chase couldn't bring himself to be mean to her now. He gave her a friendly hug as she cried, and rubbed her back until the tears began to subside.
"God." She finally choked out, still sounding very sad. "I don't know why I can't just get over him. He's a bastard and he doesn't respect anyone. He's cold and distant and he's crippled and addicted to painkillers. He'd make an awful father, or even husband for that matter, but for some reason, he fascinates me."
"Yeah." Chase grunted, trying not to say something that would get him into trouble.
"Sorry." Cameron realized. "I shouldn't put all this on you. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted, Chase. I don't know if you understand it, but please don't hate me for this. You're the one I want to want. He's the one I need." She hugged him one last time, so quickly he might have imagined it. Before he knew it, she had climbed in her car and driven away.
----------
"I'll miss you." The words tumbled out of Cameron's mouth and seemed almost to echo throughout House's office. She touched his arm delicately, and a muscle jumped in his chin. This was the second time she had quit, and the second time he'd longed to beg her to stay, to grab her wrist and keep her from leaving. To raise her salary, cut her clinic hours, even take her on a date, anything to keep her from leaving. It was the second time he stood rooted to the spot, unable to do any of those things, as he watched her walk out of the door, and subsequently, out of his life. It was the second time that he closed all the blinds in his office, turned out all the lights, and blasted his iPod into his ears while he tossed his oversized tennis ball at the conference room wall with such enough intensity to break through the drywall itself. The evening turned to night and the iPod reached the end of its repertoire, and still he sat there, staring at a wall as he threw the ball against it, but not seeing anything at all.
----------
Cameron, on the other hand, was anything but contemplative. She walked quickly to her car, managing to keep her face somewhat neutral. Finally inside the safety of her own vehicle, though, the facade fell away. She sobbed and pounded her forehead against the steering wheel, accidentally hitting the horn and catching the attention of Wilson, who happened to be leaving. She quickly backed out of the parking lot and drove away from the hospital, loud music blaring from her stereo speakers.
She drove first to her favorite bar, but hadn't even gotten out of the car before she realized that the bar wouldn't help her tonight. Next, she drove to a club, figuring that the hip-hop beat and sweaty dancing would take her mind off of House. Once again, tears threatened to take over her face, and she pealed away. Finally, she pulled up outside of her apartment and dragged herself up the stairs. She flopped down on the couch, not even bothering to change out of her nice clothes, and popped in "An Affair to Remember". Grabbing the Ben & Jerry's out of her freezer, she curled up in front of the TV and let the tears fall.
----------
Cameron had finished with "An Affair to Remember", gotten all the way through "The Way We Were", and was starting in on "Love Story" when the phone rang. She spotted the cordless through the piles of junk food and kleenex that had formed all around her and answered it after only a moment of debate.
"Cameron." She managed to squeak out. Her throat felt like it was closing up.
"Did I wake you, Dr. Cameron?" Wilson's concerned voice greeted her.
"Unfortunately, no." Came the reply.
"House told me what happened." Cameron felt herself tense at the very mention of her former boss.
"I'm not surprised." Cameron decided it was best to try to pretend that she didn't care. She wasn't particularly keen on sobbing all her troubles through the phone to Wilson.
"He's in a bad way." Wilson admitted. "And I saw you in the parking lot, and I thought I should check on you too."
"I'm..." Cameron tried to say 'fine', but the word wouldn't come. A lump rose in her throat and she found herself breaking into racking sobs once again.
"That's what I thought." Wilson's voice sounded tiredly through the phone. Cameron felt bad for him, he was always the one picking up the pieces of House's shattered life. Or in this case, shattered department.
"I...I...I wish there was another way." Cameron began. "Any other way. I can't imagine not seeing him every day. I don't know why I can't get over him, and it scares me. I don't know why he means so much to me. There are times when I can almost hate him, when all I can see is that sarcastic, heartless bastard that everyone else sees, but then he does something. He makes a brilliant diagnosis and saves a patient. He finds the answer when it seems impossible. He sees things that no one else can. He challenges me and hurts me, but more than anything, he fascinates me. He's such a contradiction. Everything about him says he should never amount to anything. He's a drug addict, a cripple, and a complete masochist, but he's brilliant. He never gives up, even when we do."
"Are you giving up now?"
"No." She told Wilson quietly. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to give up on him. But sometimes, things just have to change."
"I understand."
"I wish that it didn't have to be like this, but I know he's not going to change unless something changes for him. Something that he can't control. I have to give him the time to figure out what he wants. I have to run away and hope that he cares enough to follow, even though it's the last thing in the world that I want to do."