Her, her heart and mind alone
Her eyes were watching from the shadows, she covered herself by a wall. Fear inside her mind was so deep that no one would ever knew what she felt. She had troubling moments that few people ever had in life, including other Asari's. She was always one step closer than all it seemed, she fought to the end to proctect what she treasured most, but in the end it was token from her by one very specific man, a man which knows that business always comes with a cost.
Nights and days she thought, 'should I do this?','should I do that?' while standing in an apartment on Omega, while watching nights pass, becoming more and more unsecure to where to start her work, she wanted more, but then she knew everything will worth nothing if they arrive, so she began to find her, the woman who she knew she can count on even if the odds weren't in her favor, and even if she were part of a camp she saw as the enemy. Her mind was whispering different things, it was so intense, so powerful, so obsessive, that it kept came ... never let her sleep. Made even the once brightest days seem like a nightmare, in the end she came to the Man, even though she never agreed, she was so desperate, so hopeless, she had no one else to count on, she knew he was a traitor... anti alien some might call him, she knew she would take lots of risks by requesting his help, she knew that there might be only a one way trip if she joins his camp, she knew that it was him who did a lot of things that shouldn't ever be done not even by a crime lord. In the end she was running in circles in her apartment growing more and more desperate and one day even if she was feeling restrained, restrained by the very thoughts that supposed to deny her meeting him, she ignored them, she was going to him for help. She couldn't take it anymore, no , but nobody knew the crime lord had a heart, a soul of her was always the one everyone feared most, the one every single person thought twice before saying her name or even involving her in some cause, or another, but then again, with all the rage in her, she was still a person, still a someone, with emotions of anger, loss, fear and even happiness, in the way she used to express it yes, even if it seemed weird for some if she'd ever shown it. So she left, planned to see where the Man is, the thought of betrayal was right there in her mind never giving her peace, but she knew she had to do it, if not for her, for Omega, for everything worth keeping in her heart, and why not maybe even for the one she was searching. So she spent hours, days, nights, months searching the galaxy for her, Illium, Noveria, Ilos, she put all her guards to find her in the hopes that she has no need to ask for his help, in the end she knew it was impossible, that she was running in circles just like she literally did in her apartment, but this time happening in her life. She put one of her guards to get on and start finding a Cerberus contact, she was thinking of starting the search herself, but even though she had to hide her love, and need for her, she knew she had to stay strong in front of her subordinates, she knew that every sign of weakness, as she would say, would make her look less fearful, less fearful meaning less chance to win this war, this war she, her guards, spies... everyone that ever worked for her and existed on Omega has to win, not for victory, not for prizes of money or material things, not for honor. It was a war she knew coming and it was certainly that if not won, nothing anyone not even on Omega really but from the entire galaxy will ever matter what they do now, when the machines will arrive anything is possible, from the most horrible nightmares, to the most horrible deaths, millions if not trillions slaughtered. She saw her telling them the warnings, she never admitted that the one she searches for speaks the truth. She knew she wasn't just some ordenary thug, merc, typical Alliance soldier, or some dumb Cerberus fanatic who barely knows how to wield a gun, she knew she was the right woman for the job, she knew that if she won't win this, as she said it with her own words 'none of it will matter'. And yet still she was there, sitting on her throne, the throne of the queen.
Finding the contact
As she was sitting on her comfortable throne, right there, in the middle of it all, of Omega, at club Afterlife, the queen's lair as some would say, one of her guards radioed in of a sudden, one of her bodyguards, both batarians, strong, rutheless, ready to kill everyone getting in their way without even thinking. Feared by even Cerberus, or official groups like the Alliance or the Asari military and being the kind of people Aria worked with, for one reason or the other. As long as they did their damn jobs everything was just fine, she was giving them a job and they were looking for one, seemed like the perfect couple, being a group which is used with no restrictions seemed exactley what Aria needed. But the mercs weren't sitting to help the queen just for fun, no, no, they loved Omega. Illegal goods get easily trade on that station and that was why they were helping her. Even through she was aware they were all idiots believing in their little minds that they will some time take over her, she had to use them since she had no other choice left to secure not only her position as ruler of Omega but of the people as well.
So while watching them, examining them real carefully and slow, each muscle they move, each finger, each toe, staring at them , while seconds seem to last hours for her, out of a sudden she hears the battarian firstly spoken of telling to another through radio, "Hey boss, tell Aria we found one!". Found one? Found what? For galaxy's sake what is he talking about was in Aria's mind, could they be talking about that contact? I wonder' she said deep, deep inside her mind. So she couldn't take it anymore, she got really angered, and answered rage fully but slowly in the same time. So she was desperate to find out, so desperate her emotions couldn't keep her mentally stable anymore. Her rage seemed like invading her mind, her body, every single little muscle of her, she started seeing darkness inside her mind, a darkness so deep nothing was ever clear, the only thing left clear being her emotions only. Emotions whom out of the sudden started to feel from the thought of finally being relieved tothe thought and emotions of depresssion, a depression so deep crawling inside her mind in the same way as a software was able to be invaded by a computer virus. She tried to fight it deep inside her mind before saying anything to the guard. Again, seconds seem to last like a life time, in the end she was able to fight the feelings out, feelings of no hope, of cancelling anything she had planned and just wait for them to come and continue the cycle as it should've been. But right when the darkness was feeling like it could get its hands on her thoughts,memory and all of her mind, a white dot started emerging from out of nowhere in a very far distant place it seemed, but growing surely and bigger and bigger. The light kept growing and growing, eliminating all the darkness and feelings of being hopless from her mind until it never left ot even a single one. Her mind was finally at ease. But what could've it happen inside her head, the head of a leader? Could've it be the fact that the machines, the so powerful machines attempted to take control of her mind? It was not unusual for them to use this technique, they used it for thousand, if not billions of years in other cycles, so what's to stop them from using it now? The machines needed agents before the great cycle to begin, agents like Saren, agents who were willing to do exactly as they say, withou questioning, without doubt, without wondering, the perfect tools for the job. But literally speaking, they weren't searching for any types of agents, no,no, just as the batarians were searching to get themselves on Aria's throne, they were not the only ones it seems, the machines wanted that also, but they never attempted to do that in a direct manner, like the foolish plan of battarians were to attack her at the right time. So could it be possible that indoctrination was applied on her mind? She never even thought of it, she never knew about the possibility of being indoctrinated, but it was possible or not, both were adequate. Both in that point in time were true and possible for her. So when her mind firstly thought about the fact that the machines might be involved in this, knowing how powerful they were she thought anything is possible even at this, even though she was not aware officially that they were able of it, her leader mind embraced this thought as well. She was surer than anything else that indoctrination was what they've attempted. So when she realized it, her rage started to crawl in her head again, Aria which everyone knew seemed to be back, for now at least, so she slowly replied to her batarian bodyguard filled of rage, and with a commanding tone "Tell him to get him over here now.".She than started a slow sarcastic smile to make on her face, even if no one ever knew that in her mind she wasn't truly happy, but she needed to do that for her image if not for something else. There is no reason of lying, or saying that Aria wasn't truly not happy at all with the situation, in fact she was a bit because she was able to find him, through she never realized Cerberus is never that easy to get inside her club and start making out an interrogation as Aria was used to with her regular thugs, so out of the sudden she hears the battarian from the radio saying in completion to that "Forgot to tell you boss, he doesn't want to come up to Afterlife, he says he wants to met outside with Aria". Aria's mind when she heard that started to become paranoid, asking herself all kinds of questions related to the Cerberus operative, only in the end to find out that all her questions from inside of her mind resulted in one answer when she replied to the bodyguard, and that answer was "Damn!", she said though with a feeling of having no other choice, or like with a feeling of disappointment that she never was able to persuade him in to coming to her lair. If it was for the best or not Aria was soon able to find out. So Aria took a couple of her guards and while looking straight into the eyes of the guards leader said "Let's go meet him now!",again with a rage filling tone and desperation felt within her voice among a commanding tone slowly said as all were used to when Aria was giving orders in unexpected situations. So she stared at her jacket a bit, feeling the emotion of being hopeless again, she than took it and dressed in it to go outside while the guards were waiting for. While slowly and apparently they were walking in a relaxed manner, on their way out of Afterlife, Aria's mind started to think at various stuff again, her anxiety and paranoia were right there again, she started to think about different things, including at things like 'Why he would want to met outside and not in Afterlife?", "Is he truly an operative? He could be fake.","Could it be a trap?". This last question seemed to make Aria so rage filled she couldn't be able to see anything from a logical view aside for her emotions, so than she replied in her own mind, "Damn!" while having a desperate feeling added to her reply, followed by "I'm tearing him up if he tries anything", this being said with a leading tone again, as she was used to say when giving orders. So while she went right through the door of Afterlfe, and stopped with her guards to check and see where he scanning everything with her eyes, she saw him right there, in the end. The very first phrase coming right there in her mind after seeing him was "Human, I should've known" with a disappointment tone told. After she knew she had no reason to remain like a statue and never do anything so she walked toward him to see what she has to say to him and him to her.