This story is NOT for those who love Snape but for those who want a good laugh. This is set before Harry was born.

Here is Snape's profile:

Mood: Always happy and giving out lollies Dumbledore style (absolutely despise that Dumbledore)

Wife: Nymphadora Tonks

Kids: None

Work Occupation: Potions Master of Hogwarts. (Favourite teacher as well, but that's all about to change...)

Parents: Eileen and Tobias Snape. (Forcing him to become a death eater)

Hair Colour: Black with orange, green and pink streaks

Favourite Students: Cassie and Erin, because they are self-inserts (As said by Janelle)

Least Favourite Students: Sophie, Sujan and Janelle.

Home Room Colours: Pink with yellow and green stripes.

Passion: Girls, absolutely loves them and wants to be one.

Face: Massive nose with a green beard that has pink bows in it.

Favourite Potion: Love Potion
Chapter One

"Would you like to take a bath?" Voldemolt asked Albus.

"I missed you my lord" Albus replied, as he bowed to the evil git, kissing his gross feet.

"Hold on then" came the reply.

The rushing of water echoed through the dark lords' lair as the massive stone tub was filled with warm water that had green bubles and smelt like lemon drops.

Suddenly Lucius Malfoy entered the large underground chamber shouting "I smell chicken; I love chicken, WHERE'S THE CHICKEN!"

Albus and Voldemolt looked at each other.

"Lucius the chicken is in there" Voldemolt replied calmly pointing to the bath.

Muttering a quick thanks, Lucius ran to the bath in slow motion, diving into the bath, he happily died in the knee high water, dreaming of chicken.

"Why did you do that?" Albus asked

"He was to clumsy for this line for work, and any was there was a chicken in the bath." Out of no where, Michael Jackson appeared in the bath with a chicken stuck on his head.