Hello ! I had this one-shot deep down somewhere in my drawers and I finally have the guts to publish it. Isn't that great ? Well, I want to thank Elizabeth Gray, who kindly beta'ed this for me. You're the best. Oh, and I'm French. So my English is... yeah.
Disclaimer : I don't own The Mortal Instruments (obviously), nor the title, which come from Taylor Swift.
To the others, Izzy was perfect, beautiful, skilled, strong. She was one of the best Shadowhunters, which was all the more impressive that she was a girl. A few years ago, that wouldn't have been bearable for the Clave.
But for the ones who knew her well, her brothers and her parents, there was a rift in her armour, a dark wound that may make her breakable.
Max.
She feared for him. She didn't fear for Alec and Jace, because she knew that they were able to take care of themselves. They were training for as long as she had been, and if she could do it, so could they. But Max. Max who was eight years old, who seemed so small, so pure, who always fell asleep still wearing his glasses. She just couldn't see her little brother in her dark world, enjoying killing demons. Sometimes, she really wished that he would fail, that he wouldn't be accepted as a Shadowhunter. Sometimes, she trained him herself, pushing him hard, to be sure that when the day would come, he would be ready. Nonetheless, she was always relieved when Max was in Alicante with their parents, because it was the one place where he was perfectly safe, as demons couldn't enter Idris.
And then came the day when everything crashed. Isabelle couldn't remember what happened, as if her mind wanted to erase all the proof. But she does remember the feeling that something was really wrong. Something in her mind kept on screaming 'Max, Max, Max'. Deep down, she knew that Max was in danger right here in Idris, that he needed her RIGHT NOW. It was her duty, as a big sister, to look after the young boy. And she failed. She had lost the one that she just can't stand to lose.
Why ? Why Sebastian chose to let her live ? She was almost a grown up Shadowhunter, and he chose to kill a little boy who didn't know how to properly use a blade.
The most awful moment was when she finally woke up and she saw the small body lying in a corner. Firstly, she didn't understand. Alec or Jace, she would have understand, even if she would have been as upset. Dying was a part of the job. They all knew that as Shadowhunters, they may not come back. But Max was not a Shadowhunter. How could he have died ? How could he have dared die while he was under her protection ? She has been in the same house as him, and yet he-
"Izzy," said a voice behind her, stopping her mournful thoughts.
Alec. Of course, Alec would have know where she was.
"Izzy, it's freezing out here. Come back home."
"Come on, Iz, the attendant might like to go home and get some sleep."
And Jace was there too.
She didn't move, still knelt down in front of Max's grave.
The two boys glared at each other and sighed. There was nothing to say. No words would make the pain and the guilt go away. So they sat near Izzy's sides and gave her a hug. The three teenagers stayed there a while, tears burning theirs eyes, wishing they could go back in time and make it all right for their blissful little brother.