Stardate 982753 AD
Sulu held onto the bridge control circuit, "The helm's sluggish sir!" Cried he in agony.
"Well move the stupid ship or I'll do it myself! Chekov, fire on that Klingon ship NOW!" Captain Kirk paced the deck as the ship was shaken by torpedos from the Klingon vessel.
"I've tried contacting them, sir, but they don't seem to want to respond!" Uhura gasped out of fear.
"I don't care!" the captain wildly threw his hands in the air. "You contact them or I'll fire you!"
"Yes Captain." She bowed her head, feeling like a failure.
Suddenly, the ship shook with explosion and the intercom turned on. "Captain, Scott here . Half of the enterprise has been destroyed… we're lucky to be alive… what should we do?"
"Scotty!" The captain ordered, "Mix the matter and anti-matter pods together and see what happens!"
"But captain!"
"Just do it, Scotty!"
"But…"
"This is mutiny! You do it, now!"
"…yes captain."
Spock raised his eyebrows and turned to his captain as he matter-of-factly stated, "Captain, mixing the matter and anti-matter has never been done before. It could result in a…"
"SHUT UP, SPOCK!" the captain screamed and shook his fist at the Vulcan. "I'm just sick of you and your half-breed comments. You're useless I tell you, USELESS!"
Checov chuckled a bit and pocked his friend Sulu. "I think the captain is going tribble!"
Sulu giggled as well and accidentally let go of the controls. The two of them then burst out in uncontrollable laugher and the ship went berserk and spun out of control towards an unknown planet!
"You idiots! YOU'RE FIRED!" the captain crazily pointed his finger at the two giggle-buds.
"Captain," Spock interrupted. "It appears to me that the planted we are headed is safe and we could survive on it."
"I don't want to plant a colony, you idiot! I want to get out of here!"
"Captain!" Uhura excitedly raised her voice. "The klingons are making contact!
"Put them on speaker." The captain proudly smiled and sat down.
"Good bye, Captain Kirk!" the klingon captain laughed menacingly.
"We'll see about that!" the captain shot his fist into the air.
"Yes we will." The klingon broke contact… and the enterprise crashed into the nearby planet.