Poison and Wine
Rating: G
Pairing: Tess and Oliver
Summary: Tess and Oliver from the moment he cheats to the moment they give into one another.
Author's Note: I wrote this for my friend paradise, I felt bad that I had been writing so much but nothing she could enjoy! So here is Tess and Oliver for you, honey! I hope you enjoy! And if you haven't heard this song you totally should go listen to it! It's beautiful and haunting. The Civil Wars are incredible!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh, your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
Oh, you think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh, I don't love you but I always will
She would never admit how much her heart had broken when she caught him in bed with another woman.
But it shattered.
She had left him. In some exotic corner of the world with some nameless woman and he had tried to explain what had happened but she wouldn't listen.
He had chased after her.
For some reason she got satisfaction from that.
But she still got on a plane and left him there.
She remembered that as she got on the private plane that when he had tried to explain, and managed to catch her arm and turn her around that when she looked into his eyes there had been tears there.
Now, remembering that moment, all they could have been and all they would never be, brought similar tears to her eyes.
i
The first time had been about three months after she left him. He got so drunk that he had just picked up the phone and called her.
It was late.
She had picked up anyway.
"What do you want, Oliver?"
Her voice saying his name cut him so deep that he couldn't breathe.
"I missed you. I wanted to hear your voice."
"Well, now you've accomplished that mission. Is there anything else?"
She was trying to fake impatience but he could tell that she wasn't going anywhere.
So he just said it simply.
"Yeah, there is. I love you."
The line didn't go dead right away. He thought that he had had hope…
"I hate you."
It had no emotion behind it. There was just emptiness in her claim.
He knew it was her shield. She was using it to protect herself from him.
"Then I won't bother you again."
ii
Tess felt like she had betrayed him in some way. When she took the offer that Luthor Corp had given her she had been so desperate for something to help get her back on her feet that she had to accept it.
She hadn't expected a corner office or a company car or a credit card for expenses. It was more than she needed or wanted. She still felt like it was all tainted.
If Oliver knew then he would freak out. He would think it was all about her revenge on him.
He would say she had gone to the dark side just to get back at him.
As she sat down at her desk for the first time she realized in a way… it was all about Oliver.
It just wasn't about revenge. It was about how wholly she had come to rely on Oliver after he had rescued her. He had taken care of her and provided for any want or need she encountered for years.
And now, she had to take any job she could get just to survive, even if that meant she had to cross over to the dark side.
"Well, I see you've settled in nicely."
She looked up to see Lex Luthor standing in her doorway.
And as she stood up to greet her new boss she decided right there and then that she would never rely on a man again.
iii
He had fallen for Lois.
Why wouldn't he?
She was cute and unpredictable. She was funny and smart. She was everything that a man could want but she wasn't Tess.
That was her one and only (fatal) flaw.
It was fatal to their relationship, that is.
She loved him. Oliver knew that Lois was in love with him. It made things difficult.
How could he tell her that he had given his heart away a long time ago and had never gotten it back?
How could he explain to her that he did not want it back?
When he had to leave her (again) instead of taking her away like he had promised he would he had tried to break it to her gently but she had insisted that he do it the hard way and she had turned away from him after one last kiss.
Lois had said that this would be the moment that he would regret for the rest of his life.
How could he tell her that he had already had that moment? It was in a hotel room in a faraway place with a nameless woman and a broken hearted redhead.
He decided, like he always did, that it was best not to voice those thoughts and feelings. It would make it more real than he could handle.
The only person that he could tell… was Tess.
So he called her again.
She picked up again.
iv
Tess didn't know why but every time he called…
She answered.
It would always go the same way.
Then one night he caught her in a particularly curious and nostalgic mood. She wanted answers. She had to have them.
Otherwise, she would never move on.
So when he called she had to ask him.
"Why?"
"I wanted to hear your voice."
His voice was clear (he had only drunk dialed her once) but he hadn't caught on to the fact that she had changed the rules of their little game.
"No. Why did you cheat?"
There was silence on the other line.
She thought for a moment that he wouldn't answer. Oliver never liked it when things got real.
It would mean, then, that he really had something to lose.
"I—I don't know."
She sighed. She couldn't keep doing this to herself. She had to let go.
She had to let go of him.
She had to let go of them.
"Then maybe you shouldn't call me again until you can answer that question."
It was the first time that she had hung up on him. He had called her countless times over the years.
She had never before hung up on him.
And as she put the phone quietly back into its cradle her heart broke a little.
He always managed to do that.
v
He woke up with sweat on his brow. He didn't know much.
But he knew who they would go after next.
"Mercy, you have to go find Mercy."
The name passed his lips before he realized that he was the only one in the room that would know who that was.
"Tess Mercer, Clark, please, whoever did this to me they're going to after her next."
He could see the confusion in Clark's eyes. "You know Tess."
His heart was panicking. "There's no time!"
A few seconds later Clark was off and Tess would be safe.
Oliver knew that.
His eyes roamed around the room. They settled on Lois.
Her eyes were accusing, angry, and hurt.
It must have been the way that he had said Tess' name or maybe her nickname but whatever it was it was all Lois needed to figure out the truth.
Lois was as graceful as she ever was she just continued to wipe his forehead with a cool washcloth and whispered soothingly.
"She's going to be okay."
He let himself relax because he had to believe Lois was right. If she wasn't then he would regret that his friends had been able to figure out how to save his life just now.
vi
When she summons him to the mansion she hardly thought that he would come so quickly.
He was angry.
It made her indignant.
They bickered like they usually did.
It quickly turns into the start of a fight.
It was funny, she thought, they could do so well sometimes. On the island, in bed, on the phone, and basically whenever they were miles away from one another those were the moments when they could let their walls fall and express their true feelings.
Yet, when they were standing face to face, all of their defenses were up and they were ready for a war.
She didn't want that.
All she wanted was for him to know how his parents died. When she found it in the files, here at the mansion, she knew she would tell him. So it wouldn't haunt him forever.
He was too good for those ghosts.
But then he found her bracelet.
She shivered when she felt his skin on hers for the first time in years. It was the first time in ages. God, it was the most beautiful kind of pain.
He was staring at her. His eyes were deep pools of emotion and she knew that he would do anything for her if she asked.
He was still hers.
She broke the moment and he walked out with the file in hand. Now, he was immersed in different demons of his past. Maybe he could let them go.
She would rather he let go of those ones than of the ghost of their relationship.
She sat down at her desk and stared at where he had been.
She thought it only fair that if he was going to haunt her that she got to haunt him too.
vii
It caught him off guard.
Not the way she had thrown the fighting rod at him.
He had taken to that naturally; he had actually been expecting that sooner or later.
Nor was it that she had accused him of handling the news of his parent's murder poorly.
She was right, after all.
She could read him like a book.
Except for when it came to them.
Maybe she was too close to the problem to see the answer was so crystal clear.
But he could never before admit to what had gone wrong.
He could apologize.
He could tell her how he felt.
But if he admitted to what went wrong then it would be the final surrender.
It wasn't even the question that caught him off guard.
It was his willingness to answer that surprised him.
"What the hell were you so afraid of?"
"You."
He kissed her then and it was like he hadn't been breathing, all of this time, and now she was breathing life back into him.
At the same time he felt like he was dying.
He could drown in her and he wouldn't care.
It would be the most glorious kind of death.
vii
The next morning she had to ignore every single one of her instincts.
She wanted to curl up beside him instead she got out of bed.
She wanted to turn around and kiss him instead she put on her other earring.
She wanted to go to Malibu instead she insisted on Metropolis.
She wanted to take the bracelet instead she closed the box.
She wanted to tell him she loved him instead she told him she had an itch that he scratched.
He asked her what happened.
She wanted to tell him the truth instead she had simply said she grew up.
She walked away.
And he chased after her.
Before she knew it he was in front of her with pleading eyes and a hand on her hip holding her in place.
"No. I don't believe you. "
Tess was panicking, and her heart was exploding in her chest.
"Well, it's the truth."
Oliver nodded. "Even if it's the truth I am still not letting you walk away. You wanted an explanation? Here it is…"
She could feel the tears prickle her eyes. "Don't-"
"I am in love with you. I can't ever stop thinking about you. I do everything for you and I would do anything for you if I thought it's what you really wanted but I know you. I know you want this just as much as I do because anything different just doesn't make sense."
She felt a tear slide down her cheek.
He caught it with his thumb and said,
"You don't have to say it. I know."
She stared at him. She mustered the best glare she could. She could feel herself giving in. She couldn't do that.
She wanted to walk away and save herself from the pain of him.
"I hate you."
She meant for it to be a dagger.
And if it was, he took it willingly because he smiled at her with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Mercy, I wouldn't have it any other way."
And she gave in.
She cried.
He cried.
They held onto one another and just knew.
This was it for them.
It would probably kill them. It had been killing them for so long but the pain was so sweet and the ecstasy so beautiful that they were willing to accept any consequences the future may bring.
What else could they do?
They were in love.
I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh, your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I still choose you
Oh I don't love you but I always will
End.
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