It was lunchtime and the large cafeteria of our high school was crowded with students. My best friend Kate and I were standing with our blue plastic lunch trays in the large crowded room, unsure of where to sit. The long tables and benches were pretty crowded. Everyone was talking. We noticed a pretty, dark haired girl sitting by herself, reading and eating a few tables away. I couldn't tell what book she was reading. She was eating a Luna bar and had a large, blue, plastic bottle of Nestea with her.
"Hey," I said to Kate.
"Yeah?"
"Look," I indicated the girl looking over at her.
Kate followed my gaze. We took our lunches to where the girl was sitting.
"Hey is it ok if we sit with you?"
She looked up.
"What? Oh sure."
We sat down on the bench that was white and had tiny gray dots on it. Kate peered at the book the girl was reading: Prozac Nation.
"That's such a good book," Kate said.
"Yeah," the girl said: "I relate to it ya know?"
"yeah me too."
"so you. Have depression?" I asked.
"yeah. 1 out of every 4 people has a mental disorder," the girl informed us.
"some of us have more than 1."
"and 1 out of every 3 has anxiety."
I looked at her surprised: "really? I thought it was 1 out of every 4."
"its more prevalent than people realise."
As evidence by the fact that I was surprised by the 1/3 fact.
The girl's dark haired friend came to the table. She had bright blue eyes and raven hair. She noticed us, sat down.
"Hey I'm Jessica," she introduced.
"Hi I'm Kate," she introduced.
"Hi I'm Lizzie," I said.
The girl turned to Jessica; "hey."
"Hey Lila."
"So I'm guessing you're Lila?" Kate said.
"Yeah. Sorry about earlier I was….um….reading," she apologised.
"I know what it's like to get caught up in a good book," I said.
"Yeah. Obviously."
We laughed.
Our table was quiet while I tried to think of something to say.
"Well it's nice to meet you," Kate replied brightly, after awhile.
"Wow that's so original," Jessica said.
We laughed.
"You're really pretty," I told Lila.
"Thank you. So are you."
"Thank you."
"But beauty doesn't mean that everything's….perfect."
"Or less painful," Lila put in
"We know about pain around here," Kate said.
"Yeah. My dad died last year, night before the first day of school. Since, my mom's become a workaholic and my brother's never around," I explained.
"Wow," Lila said quietly.
She was quiet.
"Yeah and my dad used to..um, well he wasn't very nice. My cousin smokes, drinks and my mom's never around," Kate said.
"Wasn't?" Jessica questioned.
"Well, he's not dead. But that's how I'd prefer it."
"Oh. Smokes what?"
"oh cigerettes."
"oh."
"hey you ever done greens?" a guy asked us passing by.
He'd obviously overheard our conversation.
"no," Jessica said.
"well I got some if you ever wanted to try."
"um ok thank you."
He left.
"who was that?" I asked.
"I'm not sure…." Lila said.
"oh."
I couldn't stop staring at Jessica then realised I was staring.
"I'm sorry. It's just you're so...is that your natural hair colour?"
"It's ok. Thank you. And no. It used to be blonde, but then I changed it as well as myself. I underwent a transformation, so to speak."
Clearly she didn't have a problem w/ being looked at. It's almost like she expected it. And maybe she did.
"Ohh."
"I used to be a cheerleader, actually. The both of us did. But, idinno. Things change. We've been friends all our life," Jessica explained.
"Yeah I used to be a cheerleader too, back when I was 15. Lizzie and I weren't friends we became friends over the summer," Kate said.
"Ohh."
"We?" Kate asked.
"My twin Elizabeth," Jessica answered.
"Oh."
She indicted her blonde twin, who was sitting at the cheerleaders table with her back to us. They were talking and laughing, dressed in their uniforms and hair up un ponytails.
At that moment I followed Kate's gaze to where a beautiful red haired girl was walking through the cafeteria. She had henna on her hands which were hard to see because of the lace gloves she was wearing over them. The henna went onto her fingers.
"Wow," I said in awe.
"Oh that's Vanessa," Lila explained.
"Vanessa?"
"One of the most beautiful people we know. She's our really good friend. She's very different and pretty noticeable but also very nice and very cool."
"Ok."
The girl sat down at our table."
"Hey Vanessa," Jessica said.
"Hey."
"I was just talking about my transformation,"
"Ohh."
Obviously Vanessa knew about this.
"Hey I'm Vanessa," Vanessa told us.
"Hey I'm Kate,"
"I'm Lizzie. I luv your, um,….."
"Presence?" Vanessa supplied.
"Yes."
"Thank you. You've been through a lot, haven't you?" she asked kindly.
It was more of a statement then a question though. She was surprisingly perceptive.
"Yes I have."
"I do this quite a lot. You could learn a lot from me."
"We already have."
By 'do this' I'm assuming she meant read people.
"It's nice to meet you," Kate said.
"You as well."
"Wow how old are you?" I asked.
Vanessa laughed; "I'm 17."
"Really?"
"Yes. Well, physically, anyway."
"Hmmmmmm."
We laughed.
"And ironically, now Liz is the cheerleader," Jessica said: "We used to look exactly alike. But we're as different as night and day."
I wondered how that was ironic.
"Winter and summer," Vanessa put in.
"Dark and light," I said.
I was catching on to this.
"Yes. Exactly. I'm night, winter and dark."
"And Liz is day, summer and light," Kate put in.
"And Liz is friends with Karen who moved here because of her depression. She's also a cheerleader," Jessica said.
'here' was Denver, CO. which got 300+ days of sun yearly.
I gathered Karen was a friend of theirs.
"Oh. Um, wow," I wasn't sure what to say.
"I luv that song!" I said.
"What?" Jessica asked.
"Cole Porter. Night and day."
"Um."
"1920's dear," Vanessa explained.
Jessica still wasn't getting it.
"DeLovely," Kate said, referring to a movie about the songwriter.
"Oh ok."
"So whose house are we going to today?" Jessica asked.
"We switch houses every day. To hang out. Er, I mean we go to each others houses," Vanessa explained.
"Kate and I do the same thing," I said.
"Um, well, we could go to mine but Liz might have some of her cheerleader friends over," Jessica said.
"She probably will. And my house is always crowded," Vanessa added.
I took this to mean she had a lot of siblings.
"Amy has friends over," Kate said.
Amy was Kate's cousin.
"And my house is usually quiet," I said; "let's go to my house."
"Ok."
"Who's Amy?" Jessica asked.
"My cousin. She's 19 and 'babysits' me."
"Oh."
Lila had put her book away.
"Lacy, over here," Vanessa called spotting who I took to be another friend of theirs. Apparently they knew quite a few people.
A dark haired girl came over to our table with her tray of food.
"Hey whatsup?" she asked as she sat down.
"Not too much," Jessica said.
"Hi I'm Lacy," she said.
"Lacy this is..." Vanessa began.
"I'm Kate," Kate said.
"And I'm Lizzie," I said.
"Nice to meet you," Lacy said.
"You too," Kate replied.
"How many other people are we going to meet today?" Jessica asked.
We laughed.
"So Lacy," Vanessa said.
"Yeah?"
"We're going to Lizzie's after school,"
"Lizzie are you sure that's ok?"
She seemed unexpectedly worried which bothered me. And I found surprising. That she sounded unexpectedly worried that is.
"Yeah."
"Ok. That's very nice of you hun."
"You sound like a mother."
We laughed.
"I am a mother. Except I don't get to see Serena until next year. Serena's my daughter. I used to model."
"Oh that's why you look so familiar."
I'd seen her photos in magazines over the years. And some online. She was really pretty and hot.
"Yep."
"Yeah I know what that's like," Kate said.
"Modeling?"
"No um…"
"I understand."
Out of everyone in the group Vanessa was the most different. She and Jessica were the most noticeable and beautiful.
that afternoon after school I let myself and the girls into my house.
"Wow it's so…quiet," Jessica said surprised.
I laughed.
"Yeah get used to it. Anyway, come in, help yourself to anything that's in the kitchen which is basically my kitchen since my mom's never around and neither is my brother."
The girls and myself went into the kitchen.
"I like your house," Lacy said.
"Thank you."
Vanessa was making herself some chai tea.
"I'm so glad you have health food," she said.
I laughed.
"Wow you have a lot of food," Jessica said opening the cabinets.
"Yeah."
The girls all got themselves something to eat.
"Hey Lizzie?" Kate called from the living room where shed stayed.
"Yeah?"
"I want talk to you about something."
"ok."
I went into the room where Kate was.
"Whatsup?" I asked her.
I sat down on the couch next to her.
"Is it ok if I stay here tonight?"
"Sure."
"last night my dad came last night had an argument with my mom hit Amy and then, um. 'that'. happened."
"Oh god."
By 'that' Kate meant her dad had sexually violated her. He often did this. She seemed pretty upset about it of course.
"I don't know how long he's staying."
"Stay here as long as you need to."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
We went back into the kitchen.