Note: Everything about this is WAY over-exaggerated on purpose—but that's theatre!
Casting is:
Princess Ariel: Kagura Prince Eric: Lord Sesshoumaru Grimsby: Jaken Ursula: Kikyou Louis: Miroku Carlotta: Sango Flotsam: Soul Collector 1 Jetsam: Soul Collecter 2 Sebastian: Myoga King Triton: Naraku Scuttle: Kagome Flounder: Shippou Erik's Dog: Inuyasha Ariel's Sisters: Kanna (Many Kannas)
Me: Kagura! I cast Older Rin as Ariel!
Kagura: She… Er, fell ill. Unexpectedly.
Me: Well, that's weird. Okay, then. Any complaints?
All (Except Kagura): Yes!
Kagome: Why do I have to be Scuttle? Why can't I be Ariel!
Me:
Then you'd have to kiss Sesshoumaru.
Kagura:
(squee)
Inuyasha:
And why do I gotta be that bastard's dog!?
Me:
The ears. Now, everyone! In costume! Now!
---------
Scene
1
Kagura
and Shippou gazed at the sunken ship—Kagura with excitement and
Shippou with fear.
Kagura:
Do I really have to do this?
Me:
Don't argue. Now go into the ship.
Kagura:
(sighs) Let's go.
Shippou:
Uh, I'll just… Uh, stay out here!
Kagura:
And watch out for the sharks.
Shippou:
(nodding) Yep, watch out for sha—Sharks!
Shippou
darts after Kagura. She's already putting things in her bag.
Kagura:
(picking up a fork) (sarcastically) I wonder
what this is. You do realize we live in Japan, right?
Me:
Quit complaining. Just think of the ending, where you get to kiss
Sesshoumaru.
Kagura:
(gleefully) I wonder what this could be? I bet Scuttle will know!
Shippou:
(screams)
Kagura:
(looking up): A shark! Dance of—
Me:
No, you swim like hell!
Kagura:
(sighs) Fine. Hurry up, Flounder!
The
two of them swim around like mad and eventually escape. Kagura
immediately swims off to see Kagome, who is playing with an
eyeglass, and not pouting because she isn't Ariel (hint, hint).
Kagura:
(smirks) Hello, Scuttle.
Kagome:
Hi. What do you have for me?
Scuttle
is apparently lacking in enthusiasm today!
Kagura:
(dumps out bag) What are all these?
Kagome
lifts the fork. Her tone of voice is as lively as a dead frog.
Kagome:
It's for your hair. Humans use it to make hair-dos. (rolls
eyes) See?
Kagome
unenthusiastically sticks it in her hair, twists it a little and
pulls it.
Kagome:
Ta-da.
Shippou:
Could you try
to act better?
Kagome:
(sobbing) I wanted to be Ariel!
Kagura:
(rolls eyes) Anyway…
What's this? (Holds up a tobacco pipe.)
Kagome:
(takes pipe) Wow.
This is "wonderful." I haven't seen one of these babies in
years. Blah, blah, blah. It's a Snarflat.
Kagura:
A what?
Kagome:
A Snarflat. Humans use it to make fine music. Allow me to
demonstrate—
Kagura:
Oops…
Shippou:
The concert!
Kagura:
(flinches) Naraku is gonna kill me.
Me:
Noooo! He's your dad for the sake of the script. Well, he's
sort of your father anyway, so…
Kagura:
(sighs) Father is going to kill me. (Takes Snarflat and fork) See
ya later, Scuttle.
Kagome:
Whatever.
Shippou:
Bye! (Swims
after Kagura)
Scene
2
Naraku
is angry, and also half naked (yay!). Kagura is supposed to be
acting rebellious. Instead, she looks bored and annoyed. Shippou,
however, is acting appropriately, and cowering.
Naraku:
(reading from the script, as he hasn't memorized his lines)
Anger. Ariel, why weren't you at the—
Kagura:
You're not supposed to read what's in italics or parenthesis.
Naraku:
Oh. Whatever… Ariel, why weren't you at the concert?
Myoga:
Such enthusiasm.
Kagura:
Well, I got… busy. I just… forgot.
Naraku:
You… forgot. How the fuck could you—
Me:
Triton doesn't cuss!
Naraku:
It doesn't sound angry otherwise… Oh, fine. How could you
forget about this?
Shippou:
It wasn't her fault! We were at the shipwreck, and then this
shark came along and raaaaah! And then the seagull came and this is
this and that is that—
A
pause as Naraku stopped paying attention, thus forgetting when he
was supposed to interrupt Shippou. Myoga coughs. Kagura sighs.
Shippou stutters.
Naraku:
Oh. Seagull?
Kagura
scowls at Shippou, who hides behind her.
Naraku:
You were on the surface again, weren't you? I forbid you from
doing that. It's dangerous—
Kagura:
Nothing… happened.
Naraku
frowns as he reads the script, half aloud.
Naraku:
I refuse to say this line. I don't really care if Kagura gets
harpooned and eaten.
Kagura
scowls.
Me:
Do it, or I'll cast you as the evil stepmother next time in
Cinderella.
Naraku
pictures himself in hideous European clothing, his hair pinned up in
a ridiculous fashion.
Naraku:
(with slightly more enthusiasm) I won't see my youngest daughter
caught on some harpooning fish-eater's line! You could've been
seen by one of those barbarians—by one of those humans.
Shippou:
But aren't you a hanyou?
Naraku:
Shut up. I'm just reading the script.
Me:
On taaaaask! (crying) I need better actors…
Kagura:
Er… Daddy,
they're not barbarians.
Naraku:
(flinches slightly) You are not
to go to the surface again, is that clear!?
Kagura
makes a bad impression of being near tears and swims away, Shippou
close behind her.
Naraku:
Do you think I was too nice to her?
Myoga:
Definitely. If Ariel was my daughter, I'd show her
who was boss.
Naraku
rolls his eyes.
Myoga:
None of this… flitting to the surface and other such nonsense. I
would keep her under tight control.
Naraku:
You're right.
Myoga:
Of course.
Naraku:
She needs constant supervision. mutters
Isn't this why I have the Saimyosho?
Myoga:
Of course.
Naraku:
And you're just the flea to do it.
Myoga:
Of—What?
Naraku:
From now on, it's your job to look after Ariel.
Go now.
Myoga:
Why me? Why always me?
Myoga
hops/swims after Kagura and Shippou. He follows them to a secret
underwater cavern, and slips inside, "unnoticed" by the other
two. Kagura puts her newly found items in various different places.
Kagura:
Thank gods, I don't see things the way he does. I don't
understand why a world that makes such beautiful things could be
bad.
Kagura
Thinking: Soon!
Soon! I'll get to see Sesshoumaru! I'll get to drag a wet,
half-drowned, barely conscious Sesshoumaru to shore! And I'll be
the first thing he sees upon waking! YES!
Kagura
doesn't realize that she's smiling and looking far too gleeful
for such a sad scene. Shippou coughs politely, waving the script in
front of her face.
Kagura:
Oh. I have to sing that song now, huh?
Me:
If you want to have your sick fantasies about Sesshoumara-sama come
to life, yes.
Kagura
sings the song as quickly as she can.
Myoga:
(falls over with a scream of fright)
Kagura
swims back down. Shippou looks horrified.
Myoga:
If your father knew about this—
Shippou:
You're not gonna tell him, are you?
Kagura:
Hey, don't tell "Father"—or else! (Looks
at unhappy fanfic author)
I mean—Please don't tell "Daddy"! He would never
understand.
Interrupted
by fireworks. Kagura's eyes widen gleefully.
Kagura:
What do you suppose…?
Kagura
swims upwards. The others follow her. Kagome is flying around
overhead, watching the show.
Myoga:
Let's get out of here now!
Kagura:
(ignoring Myoga) I want a closer look! Kagura
swims off, skipping several lines of script. The others decide to
ignore this error and follow her. Kagura has pulled herself up to a
place where she can watch and not be noticed, drooling over
Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru:
I hate this outfit.
Inuyasha:
You're better off than me.
Sesshoumaru:
(smirks) True.
Sesshoumaru
is in a sailor outfit, for some reason having two arms. (Not a
school uniform, either!) Inuyasha, however, is wearing a collar and
a puppy suit, sitting in a corner in a dejected manner.
Me:
You're on!
Those
on deck are just sort of hanging out. Inuyasha is pouting.
Kagura:
Oh, he's so hot…
Kagome
lands beside her, frowning.
Kagome:
He looks kinda hairy and slobbery to me.
Inuyasha:
Hey, you bitch!
Kagome:
Sit!
Thump.
Kagura:
Not that one! Hearts
in her eyes, pointing at Sesshoumaru. That
one.
Jaken
scuttles to the fore.
Jaken:
I have an announcement! Sessh—Prince Eric! I have a gift for
you!
Sesshoumaru
raises an eyebrow. Jaken gives a command for the sailors to pull a
canvas off of something. It's a bronze statue of Sesshoumaru.
Kagura:
I want it.
Jaken:
Happy birthday, Eric. But, I was hoping it would be a wedding
present.
Sesshoumaru:
Princess Sara was a rather repulsive hanyou.
Me:
(in tears) Why can't any of you get it right!?
Sesshoumaru:
Fine.
Princess Sara wasn't the one for me. I want to find a girl I
love.
Kagura:
(squee)
Jaken:
But, not just me—your most loyal servant… But the entire
kingdom wants to see you happily settled down.
Storm
picks up. Throws the boat about. Kagura and the others get back in
the water. Kagome is whisked away in the wind, screaming. All the
sailors get in the rowboat. Jaken is dancing to and fro screaming,
as Sesshoumaru still isn't in the boat.
However, he's slowly walking toward it, leaving Inuyasha.
Me:
Go get your pet dog!
Inuyasha:
I'm not a pet! And I'm definitely not his
pet!
Me:
In certain fanfiction, you are. For my purpose, though, you're
literally a pet. Now stop talking and bark!
Inuyasha:
Woof.
Me:
Sesshoumaru! Go rescue your puppy!
Sesshoumaru:
No.
Me:
Fine. Then I'm casting you as Maleficent from Sleeping
Beauty,
and Inuyasha will kill you!
Sesshoumaru
turns around and goes back for Inuyasha. He picks him up and slings
him over his shoulder. Inuyasha complains the entire way. The ship
is collapsing, and the gun powder is about to explode. Sesshoumara
tosses Inuyasha into the boat just as the ship explodes. Kagura
looks like she might rejoice. She swims after him and grabs him.
He scowls at her.
Me:
Sesshoumaru, you're unconscious.
Sesshoumaru:
Hmph.
Sesshoumaru
feigns unconsciousness as Kagura pulls him to shore. He actually is
unconscious by the time they get there. Kagura drags him up on the
beach, practically drooling over his limp, beautifully sculpted,
sopping wet form.
Me:
Kagura…
This
movie is G-rated… Thank gods you have fins right now…
Kagura
looks down at the fins and cries, clinging to the unconscious
Sesshoumaru and sobbing softly. (You would be too.) At any rate,
Sesshoumaru slowly began to wake. Kagura made sure that she was
right in front of him, singing the reprise, with the sun framing her
form.
Inuyasha
walks unhappily onto the site, followed by Jaken.
Jaken:
Eric! You had us all scared to death!
Kagura
leaps back into the water and swims a little distance away, peeking
out at them. Inuyasha glares at her, then at everyone else angrily.
Jaken babbles about his worry for Sesshoumaru, then ends up
face-down in the dirt and Sesshoumaru steps on him on his way out.
He is supposed to glance over his shoulder, trying to find Kagura,
but doesn't.
Sesshoumaru:
That woman…
Jaken:
What woman?
Sesshoumaru:
She rescued me.
Jaken:
I think you've swallowed a bit too much seawater. Let's get
you home. (Looks
at Inuyasha wickedly.)
Come on, doggy!
Inuyasha:
(growls) Woof.
Sesshoumaru:
(smirks)
Kagura
stares at Sesshoumaru's ass in an X-rated manner—if only his
hair didn't disrupt her view. Shippou waves a hand in front of
her face, unnoticed.
Myoga:
Well, um… The Sea King can never know. (Looks
at Shippou.)
You won't tell him; I won't tell him. I will stay in one
piece!
Kagura:
Oh, it's my line. Sings
Reprise.
Water
crashes against her back. Unfortunately, she was imbalanced from
her position when she had been gaping at Sesshoumaru's soaking wet
sexiness and she toppled over the edge of the rock, falling
face-first into the water. Shippou yelps and swims a bit farther
away from her. She glares at him.
Shippou:
Don't look at me! It was your own fault! Yikes!
Scene
3
Kikyou
has been watching everything that has happened through the soul
collector's eyes, who had been watching Kagura.
Kikyou:
So, the little princess is in love. (Puts
rouge on her lips.)
With a human prince.
Sesshoumaru:
WHAT!?
Me:
Where did you come from? Anyway, for the sake of this, there are
only sea creatures and humans. So that makes you a human for today.
Think of it as making fun of them.
Sesshoumaru
sulks back in the recesses.
Kikyou:
(resuming) And King Triton and all the Merfolk get to have their
silly little balls and musicals. In my day, we had fantastic
feasts. Hmph. (Looks
back at her.)
Of course, I could use this to my advantage.
Scene
4
Kagura
is swimming around happily, seeming to enjoy herself very
thoroughly. There are six Kannas, for some reason. Naraku swims
in. Kagura swims around him in a circle, halfway singing to
herself.
Kagura:
Morning, "Daddy." Sticks
a flower-like thing in his hair and swims away in slow spirals.
Naraku rips out the flower and crushes it.
Kanna
1: She has it bad. No
emotion at all in her voice, as usual.
Naraku:
(feigning ignorance badly) Got what?
Kanna
2: Ariel is in love.
Naraku:
I'll kill the object of her affection!
Me:
No! Be happy for her. Remember, this means she goes away soon!
Or would you prefer to be the Wicked Stepmother?
Naraku:
(angry, but pretending to be happy) Ariel… in
love?
Scene
4
Naraku
is sitting on a throne. For some unexplained reason, the flower is
no longer crushed, and he is glaring at it.
Naraku:
I wonder who the unfortunate creature is.
Myoga
comes hopping in, muttering to himself about all the horrors that
will befall him when Naraku discovers who it is—and what. Has
convinced himself that he already knows, and is terrified.
Myoga:
Your, er… Majesty?
Naraku
sort of twitches.
Naraku:
It's about Ariel.
Myoga:
(cringes) What… about Ariel?
Naraku:
Have you noticed her strange behavior lately?
Myoga:
Er, no. What strange behavior?
Naraku:
The singing, the weirdness! That!
Myoga:
Oh, that.
Naraku:
Yes. So, she's in love or something, right?
Myoga:
(squeaks) Oh, perhaps!
Naraku:
So… You must know about it.
Myoga:
I tried to stop her, sir! She wouldn't listen!
Naraku:
Hm?
Myoga:
I told her to stay away from humans!
Sesshoumaru:
I'm not human!
Naraku:
Quit sulking. I'm not a mermaid. Now shut the fuck up so we can
get on with the damn script.
Sesshoumaru
resumes sulking in the shadows.
Naraku:
Anyway…
(Naraku
is somehow able to get furious at the drop of a hat.)
What!?
Scene
5
Kagura
and Shippou are swimming. Shippou has a surprise for her waiting in
the cavern, but won't tell her what it is. Kagura gasps upon
seeing it. It's the bronze statue of Sesshoumaru.
Kagura:
How the hell did you get it in here? Oh, well! (squee) Swims
over to it, circling it.
Oh, he's so sexy! Hangs
off of it affectionately. This doesn't appear to be merely acting
any more.
The
boulder being used as a door is rolled violently to the side.
Kagura's eyes widen. Naraku seems to be enjoying himself. Myoga
is, as usual, terrified. Shippou cowers in a corner.
Naraku:
"Ariel."
Kagura:
It's—it's just that… Don't—
Naraku:
Ariel, I'm going to get through to you. (Holds
up a trident that looks disturbingly similar to the one he gave
Princess Abi.) And
if this is the one way, so be it.
Kagura:
No!
Naraku
lets loose a bit of his "mermaid magic" and destroys everything,
saving the statue for last. Kagura wails in despair. Naraku turns
and leaves. Kagura sinks to the sea floor and pouts, then pretends
to cry.
Soul
Collector 1: Such a tragic fate.
Soul
Collector 2: Indeed. But we know someone who can help you. (They
swim around Kagura.)
Shippou:
They can talk?
Myoga:
Apparently so.
Kagura
looks at them.
Kagura:
Who?
Soul
Collector 1: Ursula has great powers.
Kagura:
The sea witch? But…
Soul
Collector 2: She can help you.
Kagura:
But…
The
Soul Collectors drift away.
Soul
Collector 2: It was only a suggestion. (Flicks
a piece of the statue back. Happens to be Sesshoumaru's face.
Kagura picks it up. She looks from it to them, then follows them.
Myoga jumps on her shoulder.
Myoga:
You mustn't trust the Sea Witch!
Kagura:
Well, I don't care.
Myoga:
She's evil!
Kagura
flicks Myoga off of her shoulder.
Kagura:
Why don't you go tell my "father"? You're good at that.
Continues.
Myoga
and Shippou follow her.
Scene
6
Kagura
follows the Soul Collectors. They lead her into a weird cave-like
structure. Mermaids turned Chibi are in cages along the walls and
floor. Kikyou is sitting in front of a vanity, applying rouge.
Kikyou:
What brings you here, Princess?
Kagura:
I was told you could help me. Hey, can we just get on with this
and turn me "human"?
Kikyou:
Of course. Oh, and you have three days to make Prince Eric fall in
love with you and kiss you. But I need your voice. Holds
up contract.
Kagura:
But, I need my voice!
Kikyou:
They say body language is most of our communication, you know.
Kagura:
Can't you take something else?
Kikyou:
Would you rather be blind?
Kagura:
No!
Kikyou:
Then sign this and sing.
Kagura:
Fine.
Signs contract. Kagura sings. Kikyou plucks her voice from her
throat and stores it in a seashell. She sort of chuckles as Kagura
is turned human. Shippou helps her get to the surface, as she can
no longer breathe underwater. He helps her to shore. Myoga just
sort of tags along. Kagura stands up, almost completely naked, and,
being a bit of an exhibitionist, doesn't really care. She looks
around for something to wrap herself up in.
Kagome:
Here. Throws
the sail of a ship at her. Kagura catches it. Kagome glares at
her, but helps her tie it around herself using rope. Inuyasha!
Inuyasha
stomps over to them, glaring at Kagura. Kagome giggles. Shippou
points and laughs at him. Rin made some adjustments to his outfit,
and he now has a large ribbon instead of a collar.
Inuyasha:
Woof.
Sesshoumaru:
Inuyashaaaaa! Here, boy!
Inuyasha:
You're enjoying this too much.
Sesshoumaru:
(looks
at Kagura) Who's
this? Are you… (Takes
her hands. Kagura nearly faints.)
You're the woman, aren't you?
Kagura:
Mouths
"yes!"
Holds
her throat, a bit horrified.
Sesshoumaru:
(Drops
her hands.) Oh,
then you couldn't be. Have you been shipwrecked?
Kagura
nods.
Sesshoumaru:
Come with me.
Kagura
joyfully follows Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha stomps after them.
Scene
7
A
few pointless scenes are skipped and Sesshoumaru takes Kagura out
into the city the next day. Randomness happens and Shippou, Kagome,
and Myoga observe them, reporting to each other with the obvious
lack of activity in the kissing department, despite Kagura's
efforts. Later on in the evening, Sesshoumaru takes her out on a
boat in a lagoon. The others watch.
Sesshoumaru:
What if I try to guess your name? Is it Kagura?
Me:
Nooo! Bad dog!
Sesshoumaru:
Fine. Mary? Susan? Martha? Lucy?
Kagura
shook her head with distaste at every name mentioned.
Myoga
crept as close as was safe to Sesshoumaru's ear.
Myoga:
(whispering) Ariel. Her name is Ariel!
Sesshoumaru:
Ariel?
Kagura:
(nods)
Kagome:
I'll never get out of this seagull costume at this rate… We've
gotta speed things up a little. Hey, can you two just make out and
get on with it!
Myoga
hits her with a small stick on the nose.
Myoga:
Follow the script, Kagome! Now, time for another song.
Kagura
Thinking: Great. I can't talk, and now I have to listen to a
frickin' song.
Myoga
lip-syncs a recording of "Kiss the Girl" while everyone else
tries to reenact everything. The fireflies (from the Movie "Fire
on the Mystic Island") were the only ones doing a good job.
Following the scrip, Sesshoumaru and Kagura lean in for a kiss.
Also following the script, the boat tips over. Sesshoumaru flips
out of it, landing primly on a tree branch. Kagura falls in the
water. Kagura looks like she might cry.
Scene
8
Kikyou
is watching from the Soul Collector's eyes.
Kikyou:
Such a tramp. I almost lost the bet. (Touches
shell necklace.)
Time to take matters into my own hands.
Scene
9
Sesshoumaru
is staring out at the sea. Kagura is standing at a window, staring
at him, "unnoticed." Jaken walks up to Sesshoumaru. He trips
over his own webbed feet, then picks himself up.
Jaken:
Milord—Er, Prince Eric?
Sesshoumaru:
She's out there somewhere. I must find her.
Jaken:
Er… You know, instead of chasing phantoms, there's a perfectly
lovely girl, right up there, staring at you from that window.
Kagura
darts inside the room just in time for Sesshoumaru to see her exit.
Sesshoumaru:
Are you doubting my abilities?
Jaken:
N-no—
Jaken
was cut off as he was thrown off of the balcony. He hit the rocks
below with a "splat" noise. Sesshoumaru glanced down at him,
but something else catches his attention. A voice was singing, and
it was "Kagura's." He fell under the spell—
Sesshoumaru:
It's a pathetic spell. This Sesshoumaru would not succumb to it.
Me:
But Prince Eric would. Stop arguing or I'm casting you as Scar
from Lion
King
and I'll let Inuyasha kill you.
Inuyasha:
YES!
Sesshoumaru
feigns being under a spell.
Scene
10
Kagome
lands on the balcony.
Kagome:
Ariel! The prince is getting married.
Kagura
wakes up. Kagome repeats herself. Kagura joyfully runs out the
door, down the hallway, but pauses. Around the corner, is
Sesshoumaru, speaking with Jaken about the wedding being today.
Yet, lo and behold, it was Kikyou hanging on his arm. Kagura's
lower lip trembled.
Kagura
Thinking: I'm not going to cry! I'm trembling with rage, damn
it! I'm gonna kill her! Dance—
Me:
Kagura. Think of yourself as being an evil stepsister for a moment.
Kagura
considers, then runs away, pretending to cry once more. Kikyou
smirks.
Scene
11
Kagura
is sitting at the dock, watching the wedding ship depart. Shippou
is swimming around. Myoga is sitting near her. Kagome flies down.
Kagome:
Why are you sitting here? Your lover boy is on the ship with
Kik--Ursula!
Kagura
still couldn't talk, so she glared at her.
Kagome:
You should go steal him away from her—because she doesn't
deserve him—you do!
(Methinks
Kagome is talking about herself.) Kagura stands up and reaches for
a feather in her hair. To her horror, it's not there. She looks
around, then comes up with a plan. She pushes a barrel in the
water, then jumps into the ocean. Using the barrel, she floats.
Shippou pulls her along by a rope attached to the barrel. Kagome
and Myoga go off in search of help to stall the ceremony.
On
the ship, the ceremony is beginning with the wedding march. Kikyou
slowly walks up the aisle, in an elaborate bridal gown. Sesshoumaru
continues feigning being under a spell. Inuyasha is sitting near
the aisle. He half-heartedly growls at Kikyou, as according to the
script. Kikyou kicks him lightly.
Inuyasha:
Bitch.
Kikyou:
(muttering) Beloved.
Thump!
Inuyasha:
(whining) Why?
Kikyou
continues with the wedding march and stands at her place opposite to
Sesshoumaru. The priest, who is being played by Kaede, so it's
more of priestess, drawled on with the ceremony.
In
the kitchen, Miroku has gone mad, apparently (according to the
script) and is attacking anything that moves with a butcher knife,
as he is seeking the flea-like crab that eluded him the other day at
dinner (as he swore he saw it here as well). Sango comes in to
bring the cake out, to find the entire place to be a disaster area.
Sango:
Louis!
Miroku:
(Freezes) Yes?
Sango:
You… Agh! (Goes
to the cake, which is on a trolley.)
Miroku
can't resist, and reaches out for her rear end. Rather than slap
him, Sango turns, grabbing a frying pan. She raises it
threateningly. Miroku makes a squeaking noise and darts away in
terror. Finding that she likes the frying pan, she sets aside for
later use and wheels out the cake.
On
deck, the world has come to chaos and all the animals have "gone
mad" and are attacking Kikyou. Kagura climbs onto the ship. In
the chaos, the shell necklace breaks and Kagura gains her voice back
prematurely.
Kagura:
Eric!
Sesshoumaru
stops pretending to be under a spell.
Sesshoumaru:
Ariel?
Kagura
runs over to him. For some reason, they lean in to kiss again. The
sun sets in the background. Right before her lips meet his, Kagura
falls down, as she no longer has legs to support her.
Kagura:
Aw, shit. Eric, I wanted to tell you, but—
Kikyou:
The bet is over. I've won. (Grabs
Kagura and pulls her over to the railing).
So long, Eric. (Plunges
into the water.)
Naraku
appears.
Naraku:
Hand her over.
Kikyou:
(holding up contract) She's mine.
Naraku
skims over the contract.
Naraku:
All right.
Goes
to leave. Kikyou throws the script at him.
Kikyou:
You have to sacrifice yourself to save Ariel.
Naraku
freezes and turns around, horrified.
Naraku:
I'm not going to do that—
Me:
(flames surround me, heated with my anger) Do it. Do it or I'll
write Cinderella!
Naraku:
(sighs) Fine. Here. Signs
the new contract. Kagura is released and Naraku is turned into a
five-inch tall Chibi.
Kagura
picks him up.
Kagura:
I like him better this way.
Naraku:
Shut up.
Kikyou
puts on his crown and takes the trident. A harpoon sails through
the water, slicing off one of her tentacles. She flinches and spins
around to glare at Sesshoumaru. A bit of randomness ensues, and
Kikyou accidentally hits the Soul Collectors with the power of the
trident. They float around in little shreds. Sesshoumaru is
swimming up to the surface. Kikyou grows to enormous proportions
and creates a whirlpool. The sunken ships rise up out of the water.
Kagura is stranded in the dry center of the odd whirlpool.
Sesshoumaru has vanished somewhere. Kikyou begins wreaking havoc by
tampering with the weather. Sesshoumaru apparently knows how to
steer a ship now, as he is steering his old, sunken ship. Kikyou
glanced at him just in time for him to steer the broken mast right
through her stomach. As that was Kikyou's cue to die, she
collapsed and "vanished mysteriously." The trident and crown
shrink down to their normal size. Sesshoumaru is now sitting in a
little rowing boat. Naraku returns to normal. Storm dissipates.
Scene
12
Sesshoumaru
is on the shore. Kagura is watching him leave. Everyone is waiting
for Naraku.
Naraku:
Hmph.
Myoga:
Will you just go by the script? Then we can all leave!
Naraku:
Hmph. Fine.
Turns Kagura "human." Kagura does the slow, joyous walk out of
the water in a shimmery silver dress. Runs up to Sesshoumaru. This
is the moment she's been waiting for!
smooch
The
end!