"You can love someone so much, but you can never love people as much as you can miss them."
— John Green
Moxxi's been watching me while pretending she's not watching me for the past twenty minutes. I haven't finished my drink yet. I'm not ready. I don't want to go back to that empty apartment.
I didn't mind so much before, when you went out on those missions. You were still close enough that I could feel you. I knew you were okay.
Now you're halfway across the world, and I can't feel that fire stirring inside of me anymore. You ECHO in every night because you don't want me to worry, but we both know I still do. I can't help it. I can't take this feeling of emptiness, the torture of not knowing if you're alright.
I know I shouldn't worry. You trust the others with your life, and so do I. But I can't help it. A part of me that I hate just wonders if one day, you won't come back along with the rest of them. I imagine Zero having to look me in the eyes and tell me the unthinkable has happened, and that there was nothing they could do, and then I start screaming at him, no, it's impossible, you can't be gone... and then I hate myself for allowing those types of thoughts to enter my head. And I keep on hating myself, until you come back, and you hold me in your arms, and make me forget everything when you kiss me with those soft, beautiful blue lips.
What are you doing right now? It's so late. Does Hammerlock have you tracking some nocturnal beast for him? Are you eating dinner with the others, laughing your charming laugh and smiling your dazzling smile as you all share stories of your battles together? Are you already asleep, getting ready for a long day of hunting tomorrow? Or are you still awake, distracted by thoughts of me, of what I'm doing while I wait impatiently for you to come back home?
I leave without finishing my drink. The streets of Sanctuary are empty, which just makes me miss you even more.
The stars are bright tonight. They make me think of you, of the way your eyes light up and dance when you look into mine. It comforts me to think that they're the same ones that hover in the sky above you, but I wonder if you're even out to look up at them.
All that's left to do is go back to our apartment, fall into bed, and let myself drift off to sleep. But I won't fall asleep, because I'll be kept up, waiting for you to come home again.
Waiting for the moment when that warm stirring sensation comes to life in my chest, the one I always get whenever you're near me.
Waiting for the moment I get to greet you with a kiss when you walk in the door, despite your protests that you're all dirty from your trip and that you need to take a shower.
Waiting for the moment when we can fall into bed together, when we can lie in each other's arms and just breathe together, when I can look into your silver eyes as your soft fingertips caress my beaming face, and your gentle voice soothes my kick-drum heart.
Waiting for the moment when my heart stops, when I feel completely weightless, when you stop the entire world: the moment you tell me in a hushed whisper, as if you're afraid you might break the words as they come out of your mouth.
The moment you tell me, "I love you, Lilith."