Who said love was easy?
Disclaimer: no i own nothing despite my delusions
Rating: PG-13 now will become rated
Pairing: Ron/Harry yup slash - two guys together so walk away if that effects you cause any flames about slash will be laughed at.
Summary: Ron and Harry realise their feelings for one another yet Harry is trying to push everyone away what lengths will he go to so that Ron hates him.
Ron watched Harry across from him, as Hermione relayed her summer events, Ron vaguely heard what she was saying. He was too caught up in his thoughts concerning Harry, they were returning for their sixth year at Hogwarts, and they were finally young adults. Ron noticed the changes in Harry, he wasn't as angry as he had been but now he just seemed to be lost and empty.
Harry had come to the burrow for the last week before they returned to Hogwarts, in that time Ron came to a lot of realisations. He soon realised that Harry was no longer the hot headed angry teenager he had been, now he seemed deflated like someone had taken a piece of him.
Ron instantly remembered the image of Sirius black, Harry's godfather, no correction Harry's dead godfather, Ron must have been grimacing.
"Ron what is the matter" Hermione's voice cut through his thoughts,
looking up he saw Harry look at him with a questioning gaze, Ron shrugged and mumbled "nothing, I'm fine"
But he wasn't, Ron averted his eyes from Harry's, just lately Ron found it impossible to look at Harry for many reasons. Harry's eyes were always so vacant just lately except when they met Ron's, Harry's eyes would filter every possible emotion, leaving them both staring at each other almost as if Harry was challenging Ron, to what Ron did not know.
Ron noticed Harry stand to remove his muggle jumper, Ron gulped as he saw Harry's stomach muscles, that was problem number two, he couldn't look at his friend without wanting to ravish him.
Ron averted his eyes yet again to look out the window and trying hard to ignore the tightness in his trousers, it had started this summer. Ron suddenly found himself having dreams about Harry, which ordinarily would not be a problem, except these dreams were causing Ron to blush from just thinking about them.
Ron new that being attracted to guys wasn't anything to be ashamed of, but Harry was his best friend who was obviously straight as he had dated Cho. Plus Ron realised that some muggles think same sex relationships are wrong, and Ron figured the Dursley's were those kinds of people.
So it was fair to assume that Harry had never even considered other guys before, this was the thing that caused Ron's heart to clench painfully. As it wasn't just a crush or lust even Ron was head over heels in love with Harry Potter.
Ron soon realised that he had always been in love with Harry but he had been ignoring his feelings, in hope that they would go away, but they didn't and now his friendship was suffering. Even though he tried to ignore it Ron knew that if he wanted to at least try and save their friendship he would have to tell Harry how he felt.
Ron's heart and stomach clenched painfully at the thought of telling Harry, as the only outcome he could wish for is that Harry wouldn't hate him, Ron looked out the window unable to look at Harry again.
Harry watched Ron, he had changed, He was definitely more mature, and better looking, Harry had found himself unable to look at Ron this summer. Gone was Ron's gangly arms and legs instead Ron now had a nice firm toned body, from quidditch Harry could only assume.
Harry had figured he was gay along time ago, when he was in his third year at Hogwarts he had started to notice boys as well as girls. However his crush on Cho soon took over all his feelings, but finally getting his so called dream girl had opened his eyes to reality.
The reality was he was falling hard for his best friend, at first Harry had dismissed the thought of Ron ever returning the feeling. However he had been watching Ron just lately and he couldn't help but notice they way Ron looked at him.
It soon became obvious that Ron felt an attraction to Harry, this was Harry's problem it was obviously lust and nothing more besides who would love him?
He knew that he should back off to save their friendship, but part of Harry wanted Ron to use him for his lustful needs so that Harry could just walk away.
It scared Harry at how strongly he felt for Ron, he wanted to push Ron away and what better reason than using him? he would just walk away and forget about his feeling for Ron.
He felt a pang of guilt at the thought of hurting Ron, but he pushed it aside, he never asked to feel this way, it would just hurt when Ron left him like everyone leaves him.
Harry sighed, at least this way I won't get hurt and Ron will be out of my life for good.
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