THE BERENSTAIN BEARS AND TOO MUCH NUCLEAR WAR DRILLS!

By WileE2005

DISCLAIMER: The Berenstain Bears is created and owned by the Berenstain family. This is based off a Simpsons short from The Tracey Ullman Show, "World War III" written by Matt Groening, and is basically a fan-make with the Bear family in place of the Simpsons family.

We all need to prepare
For nuclear war,
But can too many drills
Make it a chore?

It was late at night in the big treehouse down a moonlit dirt road deep in Bear Country. Much of the Bear family appeared to be asleep, until Papa Bear barged into Brother and Sister Bear's bedroom in his pajamas, turning the light on and calling out "Wake up, everybody! It's World War III!"

Brother and Sister Bear let out a terrified yelp, and jumped out of their bunk bed, joining Mama Bear and baby Honey with Papa as they ran into the basement.

"Quick, down to the fallout shelter!" Papa frantically said. "The bombs are dropping!"

The family all hurried down the stairs and into the basement fallout shelter that Papa had built. Papa pulled the great big steel door shut, pulled out a stopwatch and glanced at it.

"Hmm… eighteen seconds," noted Papa. "If this were really a nuclear war, we'd all be dead meat by now." Then he noticed the rest of the family was shivering nervously. "Say, you're all shivering. Are you cold, or what?"

…

Sometime later, after the rest of the family settled back into bed, Papa woke up again. He barged into Brother and Sister's bedroom, switched the light on and called "Wake up! Wake up! It's World War III!"

Brother and Sister tried to ignore him, still quietly lying in their bunk bed levels with their eyes closed.

"I mean it this time!" Papa insisted. "No kidding around!"

Brother and Sister let out low, annoyed grumbles as they slinked out of the bunk bed.

Once again, the family went down the stairs into the basement, but this time they looked quite annoyed at Papa. Even Honey appeared to be glaring at him. Then they went into the fallout shelter, and Papa pulled the steel door shut.

"Ah! Here we are," said Papa. He pulled out his stopwatch, looked at it and frowned. "Once again, your timing's off," he told the rest of the family. They just angrily glared at him.

"Sheesh," Papa said to himself. "What a bunch of grumps."

…

A few hours after that, as the rest of the family was just getting back to sleep, Papa barged into Brother and Sister's room once again, turning the light on and shouting, "Wake up! Wake up! It's the end of the world!"

"Aww, come on, Papa!" complained Brother.

"I'm timing you," said Papa as he held up his stopwatch. "If we're all fast enough, this will be our last nuclear war drill."

"If we're quick enough, you'll let us sleep?" asked Brother.

"Let's go-go-go!" insisted Papa.

And once again, the whole family hurried down into the fallout shelter, a little more quickly this time.

After Papa pulled the big steel door shut, he pulled out his stopwatch and said, "All right, everybody. Back upstairs and into bed!"

"Did we beat the clock?" asked Brother.

Papa laughed and said, "No, but you were pretty darn close!" He checked his watch and added, "Next drill in three hours."

The rest of the Bear family looked very weary at that.

…

Close to three hours later, the rest of the Bear family hatched a plan. Brother Bear came into Mama and Papa's room, where Papa was sleeping, and announced into a makeshift paper megaphone, "Wake up Papa, it's World War III, this is not a test!"

Papa let out a loud scream. "YAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He quickly jumped out of bed, down the stairs into the basement, and right into the fallout shelter, where Mama and Sister were waiting behind the big steel door. Once Papa was inside, Mama and Sister slammed the door and Honey padlocked it, trapping Papa inside.

Brother came down the stairs with his megaphone and asked, "Are you sure this is okay, Mama?"

"We'll let him out in the morning," said Mama.

END