Disclaimer: I own none of the original characters or worlds of the great GRRM. Neither do I own house Crakehall but Lanette Crakehall is very much my own creation, as are any other OC's that crop up!

A/N: Hello readers!

I just couldn't resist posting another story. My priority right now is still Truth Breeds Lies but this is a little side project I've been working on that I've decided to share with you. I'm telling this story in parts as you can see below. Part one will obviously be focusing on Jaime but you've probably noticed my favourite Stark is tagged and after a time jump to part two he will make his appearance but you'll have to be patient for him!

Anyway, this fic is extremely AU so if you're not into big changes from canon then this probably isn't for you as I am probably going to use very few (if any) canon events in this story. However, if you're a fan of the big AU then I really hope you enjoy this.

Here's chapter one anyway, do let me know your thoughts!

:)

Part I

Released

Jaime sat outside her chambers, just listening to the screams and the cries and the curses coming from within. He had promised to be there with her but that was before. Before he had seen her and Robert in that nursery she had spent the best part of the last three moons making just perfect for her little stag. They hadn't known he was there, that he had relieved his fellow Kingsguard of his post and taken over. They hadn't seen him but he had seen them. Robert had his hand splayed out across her growing stomach, just waiting for the babe to move. Jaime had seen the moment it had, seen the gruff King's icy eyes light up in wonderment. He had seen them fix on his beautiful sister then and to his horror her own had met his and he had seen a warmth and affection in those green orbs that she had told him repeatedly she did not possess for her husband. Jaime had seen it. It might not have been love but it was far more than the nothing she had always made it out to be. She would deny it if he confronted her with it, she would twist him round her elegant fingers as she always did and make him feel like the only important thing in the world. Make him feel as though they were the only two people in the world.

Instead of confronting her and letting her reel him back in he had gone instead to Robert. He had made his own decision without seeking her advice or approval. It was probably the first time in his life he had ever made a conscious decision without involving her. As he thought that he faltered for the first time, wondering if he was doing the right thing. It's too late, he reminded himself as she screamed out in pain again. He felt almost guilty then for leaving her, for breaking his promise. Then he reminded himself of the countless promises she had made to him that she had thrown carelessly aside when they no longer suited her. Sitting here thinking of them made him begin to wonder why on earth he had ever loved her in the first place. We're two halves of one whole Jaime … we were made to be together, always …

"Jaime?"

"Father," he snapped himself out of the past and looked up at him.

"From the King," Tywin said, extending the roll of parchment.

"It's done?" he said almost disbelievingly.

"You're released from your vows," his father confirmed; "the party will be departing Crakehall soon"

"We will marry here?" Jaime asked him almost sharply.

"Of course," he raised his brows, "you will want your sister there will you not? She will be in no state to travel, not so soon after birthing a child"

"Of course," Jaime muttered his agreement. This wasn't exactly going according to his plan.

To his irritation his father sat down next to him then, his expression as stony and unreadable as ever but Jaime could see the slight shake in his hands before he clasped them tightly together in front of him. His father would never admit it but Jaime would bet his inheritance that he was thinking of his own wife. Jaime swallowed hard then and felt guilty for wishing his father had left him alone. Sometimes he missed his mother so much it hurt, but then he had always had Cersei to turn to in his darkest moments. His father had no one and Jaime was willing to bet that when he lost his wife he lost part of himself as well, the part that had made him smile and laugh and show kindness. Jaime vaguely wondered if his father would ever regain those abilities. His mind wandered then to his intended, Lanette Crakehall, a year his junior and said to be incredibly beautiful. He wondered if she would ever make him feel whole and alive. He wondered if losing her would kill something inside him.

Somehow he doubted it, but it was too late to change his mind now.

Lanette surveyed her chambers, her eyes lingering on the large trunk on her bed which was already half full of her belongings. Everything she wanted to take with her to her new life would have to fit in there. Everything. She swallowed hard then and crossed to her vanity, opening up the drawers and the dainty little boxes, casting her eyes over the trinkets and jewels she had built up over the course of her life. Her mother had told her not to worry too much about packing fine dresses and jewels as she was marrying into the wealthiest family in the Seven Kingdoms. Doubtless her husband would see to it that she had the most expensive dresses and shiniest jewels to match her status, to show the world their wealth. Lanette wasn't as bothered as her mother was about the wealth and the gifts that may be showered on her, she was more concerned with the man she was to marry. Her intended. Her betrothed. Her future husband.

Her forever.

Like it or not she would marry Jaime Lannister and one day become the Lady of the Rock. Her mother told her she was lucky, that she would doubtless be envied by all the maidens of Westeros. When word had first come that Tywin Lannister was offering to match his son with her, her father had not believed it, had named it a hoax. It was only after meeting with the Lord of Casterly Rock in person that he finally accepted the truth of the offer. Lanette knew her dowry was a substantial one and that consequently her own mother would be lacking in finery for the next year. She hadn't complained though, being able to say her daughter was to be wed to the finest man in the Kingdoms was reward enough for her. Lanette said all the right things and went through all the right motions but in truth her mother was far more excited about the wedding than she was. In truth all she felt was a rising sense of panic every day that went by. Every day that brought her closer to the departure from Crakehall and from everything she knew.

They would leave in the morning. It would take just over a week to reach the Capitol. Three days along the Ocean Road and then seven along the Gold Road. She had already memorized the route in her mind and knew all the towns and inns they would stop at along the way. Her father hadn't asked her what she was doing as she traced her finger along the lines of the map in his study. He was a quiet man but Lanette knew well enough that he understood her growing fear far better than her mother did. Her mother assumed she was full of joy and grateful that such a high match had been made for her. Truly she was grateful, but that did not stop the nerves nor the apprehension. What if Jaime Lannister didn't like her? What if he thought her ugly? What if he took an endless stream of whores to his bed? Perhaps he would drink. Strike her. What if she couldn't bear him a son?

She turned away from the mirror then, her stomach churning so relentlessly that for a moment she thought she might actually be sick. Thankfully it passed as she sat herself down on the edge of her bed and took deep, measured breaths. Gods, she needed to pull herself together, remember her house words that her brothers would call out to opponents in tourneys at the top of their lungs. None so fierce. She would have new house words soon enough though and that thought made her want to cry. No more days here after tomorrow. Perhaps if her husband allowed she would be able to visit. Perhaps. There were so many uncertainties in her mind now that she could not quite decide which was the most pressing to her. She took another deep breath before standing up and crossing to her dresser. There was no point in worrying about the potential monster her husband could be, not until she met him and saw him with her own eyes at least. Right now she needed to just pull herself together and get on with packing her things. One thing she determined was that she would not be broken by Jaime Lannister, nor by any other man. She was Lanette Crakehall and no matter where she was in the world she would always have that to comfort her, the memory of home and of her family.

None so fierce.

She wondered if Jaime Lannister knew her house words, the thought bringing a small smile to her face.

He was perfect. A squishy, wrinkled, tiny, pink bundle of perfection that she could scarce believe could exist in such an imperfect world. Surely he was too good for this place, too good to have come from her and Robert. Cersei's hand shook slightly as she reached her fingers out to trail them ever so gently down his cheek. His skin was smooth, ever so soft and smooth, perhaps the softest thing she had ever felt under her touch. Softer than the flowing silks of her wedding gown that had felt as smooth as water under her touch. Softer than the sands on the beaches of Casterly Rock. Softer than Jaime. She swallowed then, meeting the perfect blue eyes of her son. Robert's son. Jaime had promised to be there with her but he had left her in agony surrounded by women who clucked and fussed and meant nothing to her. He left her at the mercy of the Maester who prodded her intimately and tried to tell her what to do. As if he knew. As if he had any idea at all the pain she was experiencing. The sheer agony that tore through every pore of her body. He had left her. The one thing he had promised that he would never do. No matter what.

She supposed if she didn't have her perfect new born baby in her arms that she might be more angry with him. As it was she hardly cared any more. She loved Jaime of course she did, but he almost paled into insignificance when compared to the tiny creature in her arms. The tiny creature that she had nurtured inside her for nine moons. The little thing that would nudge her at night and keep her awake. She never minded though because she loved the feeling of him moving inside her. Even more she had loved the look of wonder in Robert's eyes when he had laid his hand atop her rounded stomach and felt him move for the first time. That's a Baratheon alright, he'll come out fighting! He had turned that wondrous look on her then and she had quietly, secretly, almost without meaning to, given him a piece of her heart that day. Robert was far from perfect but he was handsome and strong and on occasion he could be caring and almost loving. It hadn't always been that way but he had become gentler since she had told him she was with child. Cersei knew deep down that he still pined for his Stark girl, the memory of their wedding night still stung, but now she had given him a Prince she was hopeful that they could make progress. Perhaps love would grow, perhaps it wouldn't. They could care though couldn't they?

A slight twinge of guilt stabbed at her then as she thought of Jaime. Jaime who she had promised herself to so many years ago. She had sworn to him as he stuck his hand up her skirts that he would be the first man to have her but when it came to it she had denied him. When he came to her before her wedding to Robert she had sent him away, closed the door on him and broken her promise. Robert had taken her honour, remained the only man to have possessed her completely. Sometimes she saw the look of betrayal in Jaime's eyes when she leant in to better hear something Robert was saying to her or when she laughed out loud at one of his japes. Part of her felt guilty but the other part was angry with him for not understanding. It had not been her decision to marry Robert Baratheon and become Queen. Her father had decided that for her and she had to do as she was bid. Once it was done she decided to make the best of it and try and get on with him. Surely Jaime didn't want her to be miserable in her marriage? Surely he loved her enough that he would want her to be happy? It didn't mean that she didn't love him, but she was Robert's wife and there would be no undoing it, especially now they shared such a perfect wonder. She turned her eyes back to her son then and smiled, only turning away from him when the door creaked open.

"I would have been here sooner," he said almost sheepishly and she couldn't help but beam at him.

"Come and meet your son," she said and he crossed slowly to her.

"Such a little thing," he said, a softness to his voice she had never heard before.

"He didn't feel all that little," she said wryly and he chuckled in response.

"A hearty, healthy Baratheon," he smiled, reaching his hand to stroke down his cheek.

"Fierce as a lion," she added and he moved his eyes to hers.

"A formidable combination," he stated.

"The perfect combination for a Prince," she returned and he smiled widely.

"Indeed," he agreed with her, moving his eyes back to the baby.

"What would you name him my love?" she asked him then and she saw him pondering it for a moment.

"Steffon," he said after a while, "for my father"

"Perfect," she said, a small smile gracing her lips.

"I should leave you to rest … I will come again in the morning," he said then, straightening up.

"Goodnight Robert," she said softly and he seemed to hesitate before pressing his lips to her forehead.

"Goodnight," he said softly, his eyes lingering on his son for a moment before he made for the door.

Her eyes went back to Steffon then as she heard it creaking open again, fully intending to let herself be absorbed by her new son and all the wonder of him as he clenched and unclenched his tiny fists, his lips pursing slightly as he moved his head from side to side. She let her fingers run across the back of his hand then, still marvelling at just how very soft he was, her heart swelling with pride as she gazed down at the most perfect thing she had ever seen.

"Cersei," she snapped her head back to the door to see Robert still stood there watching her; "thank you for him … truly, it is everything to me."

She could only nod for him, her throat constricting as emotion welled up in her. He seemed to understand, nodding in return before he really did leave the room. She took a deep shuddering breath once he had gone and willed herself not to cry. Perhaps it would not mean all that much to any other woman but for her it was the kindest and sweetest thing her husband had ever uttered to her.

"I thought he'd never leave," Jaime said and Cersei turned her head to him, her eyes cold.

"I thought you'd never come," she returned, her icy tone like a slap in the face.

"You're angry with me," he stated.

"You promised you'd be with me and then you left me alone," she hissed at him.

"Now you know how it feels," he said evenly and she swallowed hard.

"It's not the same," she said, shaking her head.

"Isn't it?" he raised his brows; "I gave up everything for you Cersei, what did you ever give up for me? Every promise you have ever made me you have tossed aside as you did me as soon as Robert Baratheon came looking for a Queen. And then you expect me to be at your side while you bring his squalling brat into the world, yet another reminder that he had been in your bed; that he has had everything that should have been mine!"

Steffon let out a cry from his cradle then and she shot a glare at Jaime before throwing the covers off her bed and going at once to her son. Jaime was looking at her with an unreadable expression on his face as she bent down to scoop him out before carrying carefully back to her own bed and dropping her nightdress from one shoulder so he could latch on and feed from her. She could feel Jaime's eyes boring into her as her son continued to feed and after a long minute she could no longer stand it and so she raised her own to meet his defiantly. Something like acceptance shone in his green stare then and for a second she was hopeful. He dashed those hopes in the next instant though.

"I'm leaving the Kingsguard," he said.

"Why?" she asked him in return, her eyes widening in horror.

"Because I no longer have any reason to be here," he told her.

"What am I? Nothing?" she demanded.

"You were everything to me," he said softly, "but we don't fit anymore Cersei … you chose him"

"He was forced upon me Jaime, you know that!" she protested.

"What happened to the moon tea?" he almost whispered.

"I …" she cast her eyes down to her feeding baby, "I won't apologise for my son"

"Part of you wants him, maybe more of you that you'll admit. Now you've given him a son perhaps you'll be happy … together," he almost choked over the last word.

"Jaime I love you," she whispered.

"That isn't enough anymore Cersei," he shook his head, "not when you get to have everything and I get to have nothing"

"What do you want? Name it, I will give it to you," she said desperately; "just don't leave me"

"I have to before this kills me. You made your choice when you chose to keep his child," he said quietly, "now I have made mine"

"Change it back," she demanded of him.

"It's far too late for that," he said, smiling wryly and shaking his head.

"What do you mean?" she asked him, fear gripping her.

"The Crakehalls will arrive in just over a week," he told her and her heart almost stopped.

"Jaime …" she began.

"Lanette," he said, meeting her eyes, "she's said to be incredibly beautiful, I think she will make me most happy"

"Jaime don't," she shook her head, tears welling in her eyes.

"All you had to do was choose me Cersei," he said sadly.

"I choose you," she whispered, "Jaime please … you're everything to me"

"Then choose me, right now, choose me over him," he said, his eyes fixed on Steffon.

"Jaime, he's my son!" she said, aghast.

"Goodbye Cersei," he said, turning away.

"Jaime! Jaime wait!" she hissed at him but he did not turn back, continuing out of the door.

Jaime couldn't sleep. A summer storm was lashing down against the windows but even if the keep was deathly silent he doubted whether he would be able to close his eyes. Guilt was gnawing at him but oddly he didn't think it was guilt over Cersei. He couldn't deny that he was still aching for her, that despite his words he had been fighting with every fibre of his being not to rush to her side and take her in his arms and tell her that he loved her, that he had made a mistake and that he would never leave her. It had taken everything in his power to keep himself rooted to the spot and not give in to her pleading tone. He gave in every time, that's what he reminded himself. He reminded himself that he had stood guard outside her chambers while her husband fucked her, while a man that wasn't him possessed her entirely. That she had let that man's seed take root inside her and gone through months of carrying his child and hours of agony to deliver him his heir. She could deny it all she wanted, Jaime knew she cared for Robert and he would not stand by and watch her fall further in love with him only for her one day to turn around and tell him she no longer wanted or needed him. Best he sever the ties now while he still had at least some of his dignity intact. Cersei had stripped him of almost everything but he still had his honour. That he would give to Lanette Crakehall and see how his sweet sister enjoyed that.

His stomach twisted guiltily again then. He had taunted Cersei with Lanette, purposefully mentioned her beauty as he knew it would twist like a knife in his sweet sister's side. He felt the guilt because he had yet to meet the girl and already he was using her as some kind of pawn in his and Cersei's twisted game. Perhaps be could be happy with the Crakehall girl but he was terrified that she would never be able to eclipse the love he had for Cersei. Would she resent him if he were cold and distant? He could try couldn't he? Could he not try and give her everything he had left, everything that he had not poured in vain into loving his sister? Surely he could try. He turned over impatiently in bed and sighed heavily. He had just over a week until she would arrive and then a week after that before the wedding would take place. A little over two weeks to get his head together and prepare himself for a lifetime with a woman he knew next to nothing about. He swallowed hard. Perhaps it would be easier once they were away from the Capitol? His father seemed keen that he and his new bride would take up residence as soon as possible at Casterly Rock and for once Jaime didn't fight him on it. It would be better for him and his for his poor wife if they were as far away from Cersei as possible. Likely his sister would feel the same way once the wedding was over and done with. She would not want him parading his pretty new wife around under her nose. No. His father was right. Wed her, bed her and carry her off to the Rock.

He almost snorted in amusement then. As if it could possibly be that simple. As if he could just marry the pretty Crakehall girl that he had known for all of a week and just forget all about his twin, his other half, the woman he supposed he had loved for his entire life. But then if Cersei could do it, why not him? If she could learn to love her brutish, unfaithful husband then surely he could learn to love his Crakehall wife, he had every confidence she would have all the charms Robert could never hope to possess. He could at least try. He would try. He promised himself that then as he forced his eyes closed. He promised himself over and over that he would try and be the best husband he could be, to show kindness and devotion to his wife and never make her suffer the shame he had suffered at Cersei's hands. He would try. It was all he could do.

A/N: Chapter one down, any thoughts or comments would be wonderful.

:)