Title: Sara's Strange Silly Sexy Talk Show
Author: Sara-Jane Echidna (no H!!! LOL) (Dangly Chicken Inc)
Rating: R (I think)
Genre: HUMOUR!!! (sex humour lol)
Summary: Well...need I say more? There's sex, aliens, horny Doggett...Let's go!
Spoilers: none.
Key:
[] = action
**=low voice
() =audience/person reaction
~~=stressed word
--=offstage
A/N: I don't own any X-Files characters, Cartman off South Park, Homer Simpson or any other famous characters. I DO own Sara, Izzi, Nightshade and Nightshade's guns. SO DON'T SUE ME!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------
[Talk Show music plays as Sara walks on stage.]
Sara: Hello and Welcome to my talk show!!! Today we are gonna meet some FBI agents (audience whoops, oohs and aahs) and they work on a VERY special part of the agency...*when I say special I mean they're the weirdo freaks*...First off let's meet the creator of this part of the agency...DIANA FOWLEY!!!
[Diana walks onto the platform wearing...well a piece of Clingfilm]
Sara: welcome Diana. Now you are the creator of the X-Files...is that correct?
Diana: Yes.
Sara: And your ~husband~ Fox Mulder told you to stay away from these cases....correct?
Diana: Yes.
-Mulder: YOU LYING BITCH!!!!-
Sara: Well....we have here your husband Fox Mulder. Fox if you'd like to come out...
[Mulder comes onstage and immediately tries to kill Fowley]
Sara: Well....I normally don't condone violence but it gets the ratings!!!
Mulder: DIE YOU LYING BITCH!!! DIE!!!!
[Mulder kills Fowley]
Sara: [wiping bits off gunk off her reading glasses] MAKEUP!!! NIGHTSHADE NOW!!! GET YOUR LAZY ASS HERE!!!
[Nightshade runs onstage and redoes Sara's hair and makeup so its flesh and blood free]
Nightshade: *Erm...Sara....you got cum dripping off your skirt...n that ain't my job*
Sara: SHIT!!! We'll be back after this break.
=================================================================
Scene: Behind the scenes
Sara: WARDROBE!!! GET IN HERE NOW!!!
[Izzi, the wardrobe co-ordinator runs in with all her clothes]
Izzi: We only get one classy outfit per show....all we got left is men's clothes and slut outfits...which would you prefer?
Sara: Slut...I don't want no-one thinkin that I'm a trannie!
Izzi: Ok. DANA!!! MONICA!!! GET IN HERE!!! I NEED YOU TO TAKE YOUR OUTFITS!!!
[Dana and Monica come in, hair messed up and breathless]
Scully: What? We're busy...
-Doggett: Girls...the master's waiting...-
Reyes: What do you want us for?
Izzi: Select your outfits please.
Both: OK.
[They look along the rack and both come to an outfit...if ya can call it that...]
Scully: THAT'S SO COOL!
Reyes: No way bitch its mine!
[They start fighting]
Scene: 3 hours later
[Scully and Reyes are still fighting over the outfit...Mulder was busy shagging Doggett and Sara was flirting with Skinner]
Doggett: YES OH FUCK ME MULDER!!!
Izzi: Night are we the only normal ones left???
Nightshade: I think so...wanna get my guns?
Izzi: Why?
Nightshade: *So we can shoot all these gay wankers and take over the show for our own pornographic purposes*
Izzi: Ok.
[Nightshade and Izzi go off to find Nightshade's guns]
Scene: Onstage
[The audience were getting restless and throwing stuff at the porn on TV]
Random alien: DIE PORNOGRAPHIC ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Blows up the TV]
Audience: OI ASSHOLE WE WERE WATCHING THAT!!!!!!!! [Go to kill the alien]
[The alien grabs Cartman off South Park and starts raping him]
Cartman: Off...me....you....gay....motherfucker!!!
[Suddenly Homer Simpson steps out of the audience and starts shooting the roof with a machine gun]
Homer: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! YOU MUST DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[The roof falls down and kills everyone just as Nightshade and Izzi come back]
Night and Izzi: YOU ASSHOLES WE WANTED THIS STUDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=================================================================
Ok well....as I've scared myself enough...I'll see what happens next!
Author: Sara-Jane Echidna (no H!!! LOL) (Dangly Chicken Inc)
Rating: R (I think)
Genre: HUMOUR!!! (sex humour lol)
Summary: Well...need I say more? There's sex, aliens, horny Doggett...Let's go!
Spoilers: none.
Key:
[] = action
**=low voice
() =audience/person reaction
~~=stressed word
--=offstage
A/N: I don't own any X-Files characters, Cartman off South Park, Homer Simpson or any other famous characters. I DO own Sara, Izzi, Nightshade and Nightshade's guns. SO DON'T SUE ME!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------
[Talk Show music plays as Sara walks on stage.]
Sara: Hello and Welcome to my talk show!!! Today we are gonna meet some FBI agents (audience whoops, oohs and aahs) and they work on a VERY special part of the agency...*when I say special I mean they're the weirdo freaks*...First off let's meet the creator of this part of the agency...DIANA FOWLEY!!!
[Diana walks onto the platform wearing...well a piece of Clingfilm]
Sara: welcome Diana. Now you are the creator of the X-Files...is that correct?
Diana: Yes.
Sara: And your ~husband~ Fox Mulder told you to stay away from these cases....correct?
Diana: Yes.
-Mulder: YOU LYING BITCH!!!!-
Sara: Well....we have here your husband Fox Mulder. Fox if you'd like to come out...
[Mulder comes onstage and immediately tries to kill Fowley]
Sara: Well....I normally don't condone violence but it gets the ratings!!!
Mulder: DIE YOU LYING BITCH!!! DIE!!!!
[Mulder kills Fowley]
Sara: [wiping bits off gunk off her reading glasses] MAKEUP!!! NIGHTSHADE NOW!!! GET YOUR LAZY ASS HERE!!!
[Nightshade runs onstage and redoes Sara's hair and makeup so its flesh and blood free]
Nightshade: *Erm...Sara....you got cum dripping off your skirt...n that ain't my job*
Sara: SHIT!!! We'll be back after this break.
=================================================================
Scene: Behind the scenes
Sara: WARDROBE!!! GET IN HERE NOW!!!
[Izzi, the wardrobe co-ordinator runs in with all her clothes]
Izzi: We only get one classy outfit per show....all we got left is men's clothes and slut outfits...which would you prefer?
Sara: Slut...I don't want no-one thinkin that I'm a trannie!
Izzi: Ok. DANA!!! MONICA!!! GET IN HERE!!! I NEED YOU TO TAKE YOUR OUTFITS!!!
[Dana and Monica come in, hair messed up and breathless]
Scully: What? We're busy...
-Doggett: Girls...the master's waiting...-
Reyes: What do you want us for?
Izzi: Select your outfits please.
Both: OK.
[They look along the rack and both come to an outfit...if ya can call it that...]
Scully: THAT'S SO COOL!
Reyes: No way bitch its mine!
[They start fighting]
Scene: 3 hours later
[Scully and Reyes are still fighting over the outfit...Mulder was busy shagging Doggett and Sara was flirting with Skinner]
Doggett: YES OH FUCK ME MULDER!!!
Izzi: Night are we the only normal ones left???
Nightshade: I think so...wanna get my guns?
Izzi: Why?
Nightshade: *So we can shoot all these gay wankers and take over the show for our own pornographic purposes*
Izzi: Ok.
[Nightshade and Izzi go off to find Nightshade's guns]
Scene: Onstage
[The audience were getting restless and throwing stuff at the porn on TV]
Random alien: DIE PORNOGRAPHIC ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Blows up the TV]
Audience: OI ASSHOLE WE WERE WATCHING THAT!!!!!!!! [Go to kill the alien]
[The alien grabs Cartman off South Park and starts raping him]
Cartman: Off...me....you....gay....motherfucker!!!
[Suddenly Homer Simpson steps out of the audience and starts shooting the roof with a machine gun]
Homer: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! YOU MUST DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[The roof falls down and kills everyone just as Nightshade and Izzi come back]
Night and Izzi: YOU ASSHOLES WE WANTED THIS STUDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=================================================================
Ok well....as I've scared myself enough...I'll see what happens next!