My thoughts, my memorys, and my regrets
If I only had reason for living other then just being a remnet I know I'm not old but still I don't fell young it's like being stuck in a foretects that you are traped in and can't get out if this was what life I am suppose to have I would rather have a life living the way I want to. But know I guess I can't go back I've already left my warm body and my brothers want happened to them? I wonder are they right beside me I don't know I'm just a flouting spirit know without a body but my mind and soul are still atached.
I know I had a short life living for mother dieing for mother but that was after I relize that I was only living for that stupid Sephiroth and I was his little incarnation create from his cells and Mother's cells. That's what my brothers and I were made of. I hated throw dredfull dream after dream every night my brother's at my side talking to me, comforting me, holding me in there arms.
My favorite thing about my short life you ask, I had none all my life was torture but I guess my faviorte things were spending time with my two dearest brothers Yazoo, and Loz. The things I hated were liars and well I would say Big Brother but he was the one who held me while I was dieing so I can't hate him no I love him too just like I loved Yazoo, and Loz well I guess I hated Jenova
Some people think I only thought of myself and I didn't others only mother but they were wrong I had friends only two but they were more to me then anyone they were Yazoo and Loz. I thougt about others often when I was laying in my bed trying to find sleep between the nights I would think about things I had done wrong like the time I tried to kill Big Brother but that was Sephiroth telling me what I thougt of doing was letting him win and that's what I wanting him to take the children that I had commanded Yazoo to kiddnap but it was too late I had already gave the signal to Loz, and Yazoo to fight him too the death and I was standing on a rock waiting for him to come to me and I wanting to stop I wanted to tell him to just take the children back but as soon as Sephiroth got control of my body again he started making me fight Big Brother.
I know that I was wrong but how could I not know that I was just a remnant a living vessal for Sephiroth evey time I thought of him it gave me unbearable pain making me wanting to die just thinking of that killer I represent I hated him so much I even hated myself from time to time becaues those memorys of him in that flame it was like hell when I thought of him.
My name, my presant, and even my energy was in vein becaues of what I was and who I represented and I'm sure my brothers thought the same after all Yazoo represanted his allure, and Loz his strenght, and I his personilaty. How I hated being a little remnent of a man of that stature.
Was I really that cold hearted and murdoues? And was that what people thougt of me hem they propply did but they only knew me as Kadaj the remnat of the great genarl Sephorioth.
Well I have spent all that time talking about my regrets, my thougts, and my memoires. Sad I now but don't cry I'll be back telling you more
My dear brothers and sisters
I know I lived a wrong life
And I made you take commands from Jenova
But I now know that she was a dreadfull being
And her real son was Sephoith so please
Forget all I've done.