To Keep A Secret

Author's Note:

So this is just a little humor fanfic I came up with that details Zoe and Wash's early relationship, Mal's reaction to it, and hopefully it'll continue up to their wedding. I'm trying to get things right but if I do make any mistakes be sure to tell me. I mean nicely, please. Oh and speaking of nice, reviews would really be nice…

Chapter #1:

Mal was walking towards the bridge of Serenity thinking about whether they should bring their latest haul, several crates full of guns, to Patience at Whitefall settlement or to Badger at Persephone.

He gazed over at Zoe's room as he passed, he had planned on just looking up how far they were from each destination on the cortex but Mal decided that instead he'd just ask Zoe. His loyal first mate had always had good instincts about that sort of thing. The captain turned to her door and opened the hatch, climbing down the ladder into her room as he spoke.

"Hey Zoe," Mal called, "I am sorely needing some advise. Could you-" He looked down and stopped short. Fast asleep on Zoe's bed was Serenity's pilot Wash. Not only was he asleep but his shirt was thrown carelessly on the floor.

"Captain!" Wash jerked awake and sat up.

"Wash what the ruttin' hell are you doing napping in Zoe's room?" Mal asked looking baffled as Wash struggled to retrieve his shirt from off the floor and pull it over his head.

"Umm… well… I wasn't-" Wash struggled to find a good excuse as he stood anxiously in front of Mal, "Oh! Is this Zoe's room?" Incredulous Mal nodded. "Ah, I can't believe it. I must have gotten mixed up and come here into Zoe's room by mistake." Wash laughed nervously and Mal rolled his eyes in disbelief.

"You're just lucky that she wasn't in her room," Mal told the pilot as the two of them climbed back out of the room, "cause she would have killed you if you'd barged in and startled her and I worked too hard to find you to wish to get another pilot so soon."

"Thanks for the advice," Wash replied cheerfully, "bye-bye now!"

His pilot was acting funny and Mal had half a mind to stick around and find out what it was. But he really did want to ask Zoe what she thought about where to take the goods. So he set off to search the ship for his first mate.

After Mal had walked out of sight Wash let out a sigh of relief. Then he climbed quickly back down into Zoe's room. Zoe came out from where she'd been hiding under the bed. Her hair was mused up and she was still buttoning up her shirt as Wash approached.

"Is he gone?" she asked.

"He's gone," Wash assured her. She smiled and leaned into him for a kiss. "You know," he told her as they broke apart, "it occurred to me that I should have hidden under the bed and you should have been the one getting rid of the Captain."

"I know honey," she murmured brushing a soft kiss across Wash's cheek, "but that way was a lot funnier." He kissed her again.

"Do you think he's suspicious?" Wash asked.

"I highly doubt that," Zoe answered with a wide grin, "now take that shirt back off."

----

Mal was very confused. He couldn't find his first mate, though he had found his pilot easily and yet in the wrong place. He wandered around the ship but still didn't seem to find her. Almost an hour later while he was sitting in the kitchen having a snack Zoe came in.

"Zoe," Mal said incredulously staring at her in shock, "where have you been? I searched the whole gorram ship from top to bottom and I didn't find a whisper of you anywhere."

"I've been around," she told him breezing past the question, "nowhere special. You wanted to talk to me sir?"

"Yeah I-" Mal started then looked over at his first mate with a funny expression, "wait. How did you know that I needed to talk to you?"

"Sir, you just said you were looking for me so I assumed you wanted to talk to me," Zoe answered sensibly.

"Oh," Mal said placated, "so I wanted to know you're opinion about where to bring those crates of boom-boom sticks we swiped from that bandit camp. My thinking was that either Badger or Patience would pay the most for them." Zoe considered it for a moment.

"Well Badger would pay more for them but I doubt that he would need them all," she thought aloud as Mal listened seriously, "more likely Patience would have the most use for a large cache like that. She's been struggling to get a foothold on that moon for a full month now and would likely appreciate any supplies we could sell to her."

"Well," he nodded, "then I'd best go and inform our easily confused pilot to change course and head for the Whitefall moon. You know," he leaned close to Zoe, "I'm a little concerned about his sense of direction. He got lost trying to find his room, ended up in your bunk instead." Zoe's expression didn't change in the least.

"It is a concern, sir."

"So I reckon we'd better keep an eye on him," Mal continued, "make sure he doesn't pilot my gorram ship right into an asteroid field or a planet."

"I'll watch him closely sir," Zoe said fighting to keep her grin hidden.

"I guess I'll go and tell him," Mal sighed standing up.

"It's okay," Zoe interrupted standing up, "I'll go tell him sir." And with that Zoe walked out of the kitchen and headed for the bridge. "You can get ready to give those possible renters a tour of the shuttle."

Five tours later Mal was exhausted. He'd given each of the people the same tour and absolutely none of them had felt right. It wasn't that they hadn't seemed like they'd have been good tenants but Mal felt very protective of Serenity. He wanted everything living in her to be… he wasn't sure what they had to be. Exceptional, special, maybe the word he was looking for was worthy.

The next person to come was a fancy companion. She looked regal and definitely was better dressed then anyone who had ever set foot on the ship before. Mal had a hard time keeping his eyes off of her, she was beautiful and had a distinct presence.

"Well here she is," Mal said as he opened the doors to reveal the small but cozy shuttle. The companion followed him through the doors inspecting the ship. "Nice ain't she?"

"Smallish," the woman answered.

Meanwhile on the bridge Zoe and Wash were making out.

"How much time do we have?" Wash asked taking a break to take a breath of air. Zoe arched an eyebrow.

"Not enough time for that," she answered sternly knowing exactly what Wash was asking. Wash began kissing her neck gently. "Then again," she grinned.

"Oh Zoe," Wash whispered, "I love you." She froze and stepped away quickly.

"What did you say?" Zoe asked. Wash looked thoughtful for a minute before replying.

"I love you Zoe," he answered confidently.

"But," Zoe persisted, "why would you say a foolish thing like that?"

"Um Zoe," Wash tried to answer again looking a little confused, "I thought I'd already answered that question with my previous statement. I love you Zoe." Zoe took a few more steps back.

"Why'd you have to ruin this?" she asked before running off the bridge.

As Zoe stalked through the kitchen area she saw Mal sitting at the main table reviewing all the different applicants who wanted to rent the extra shuttle. He had them all spread out.

"Oh am I glad to see you Zoe," he said as she stormed in, "can we afford to rent the shuttle for a quarter less than our asking price?"

"Yes sir," she muttered as she walked out of the room not stopping to look back.

"Guess the shuttle's going to the whore," Mal commented balling up the rest of the applications and throwing them at the trash can.

The second one he threw missed just as Wash came into the room. Wash sat down across from Mal and put his head in his hands.

"Hey Wash," Mal said in an excited voice, "there's going to be a whore living on the shuttle!"

"Whatever," Wash muttered in Chinese from under his arms. Disappointed by the reaction Mal walked out. Though Mal hadn't considered it before it occurred to him then that his pilot might not go for women-folk.

"I shouldn't wear such tight pants," Mal muttered to himself.