One day Legolas realized that he needed new shoes. "Oh my God!" he
exclaimed with horror. "I've worn these shoes for THREE WHOLE HOURS!"
With that he rode his mustang (get it? Car? Horse? Whatever.) straight
to Payless. He asked the clerk at the front counter, "Do you have any
petite, extra-small, light-green gym shoes with funky plastic soles?" The
clerk said, "I don't think so. Sorry."
As he was walking out of Payless with a major Prince-of-Mirkwood
pout, he ran into Gimli. Gimli was wearing petite, extra-small, light-
green gym shoes with funky plastic soles! They fell in love (or at least
Legolas fell in love with his shoes) and they sailed off to the Gay Havens.
