Charlie: My friend and roommate Patric...is sometimes just bursting with weird ideas. Some are good, others are bad, most are just downright weird.

This one probably fits in all three. Having just beat Radiant Dawn, the idea just came to us.

Be aware that this will be semi-colab, and very...very weird. Also, I'll probably have physics in there somewhere, and I don't mean the staff. (Just because I'm a nerd like that)

So now, uhh, enjoy.

Operation: Find Ike
Chapter 1
Rounding the Troops

Somewhere
Middle of Nowhere, Tellius

Aimee sighed tiredly. The life of a traveler was one wrought with cold nights, hard grounds and burnt camp food. It was a simple life that Aimee had grown accustomed to, but an upgrade wouldn't really hurt. Back in the war, Aimee had dreamed of settling down with the perfect man, but now, those dreams were but a reality of the past.

She had it all planned out too. Once the world was back in order, she and her handsome, beloved Ike would find a nice plot of land, build a big house, and live together forever happily. But those dreams were dashed the minute Ike packed up and left without a word to anybody. What's worse, he had taken Soren of all people.

Shrugging off the silly thought that her Ike might be homosexual, Aimee pulled her blanket around her tightly. Soon, the sweet embrace sleep lulled her into a world of dreams, where her love deprived mind brought forth schemes with untold possibilities.

Morning found the caravan in a light upbeat mood. Jorge and Daniel got up early to make breakfast, which made for a rather happy Ilyana. Muston went about his business, keeping records and inventory. However, one member was noticeably missing from the usual morning clamor.

Everyone noticed Aimee's absence from the breakfast fire. Usually the loud outspoken one, she would've talked everyone's ears deaf by this hour. Needless to say, despite being worried, the group liked the rest their ears got.

Unfortunately, they couldn't relax for long. Emerging from her tent, Aimee looked ready to trek across the Serenes Forest and back. Everyone looked at her with a raised eyebrow as she set down her pack and glanced back at them.

"Erm, Aimee." Jorge said breaking the silence. "If it's not too much a bother, may we ask what you're doing?"

"I'm going to go find Ike."

Everyone choked in unison, even Ilyana.

"Whoa, hold on a minute." Daniel said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Ike. THE Sir Ike. The Sir Ike who left Tellius to explore lands beyond or realm of understanding? The Sir Ike who we will probably never see again? The Sir Ike who we have no idea which DIRECTION he even started out in?"

"In short, yes." Aimee said. "And pack your stuff after breakfast. You're coming with me."

"WHAT?!"

"Well, I can't do this by myself." Aimee said. "What if I'm captured by bandits? What if I get hurt? What'll happen if something were to mar my beauty that Sir Ike would find himself repulsed by me?"

"I think he was already repulsed by you..." Jorge said under his breath. Aimee sent him a quivering glare and he went back to his half eaten breakfast.

"The bottom line is, you're coming with me." Aimee said, lighting a torch and walking over to the supply tent. "Or else everything goes, the weapons, the books, ... the food."

Ilyana immediately paled and nodded vigorously. Jorge, Daniel and Muston, having considerable more resistance to famine merely flinched.

"Aimee." Daniel said slowly. "Put the torch down."

"Not until you go pack." Aimee said lowering the torch closer to the supply tent. Ilyana whimpered as her eyes followed the flame.

"Please... think of the food."

"You always think with your stomach." Jorge said. "We can always get more. Going after Ike is suicide with just us four."

Aimee looked confused. "Oh, I plan on getting more help."

"Okay, assuming WE even agree with your suicide plan, how the hell are you going to get other people to do this?"

Aimee smiled as she dropped the torch on the supply tent. "I have my ways. Now go pack."

The rest of the convoy could only watch as horror as their bloodline went up in flames. Grudgingly, they forced down the rest of their breakfast and went to pack up camp. Since Aimee could not be convinced and would probably burn supplies until they agreed to follow her, going on this suicidal mission was probably their only possible course of action. And as they thought about it, it didn't seem that bad. They were a traveling convoy anyways, and as long as Aimee brought enough people who needs supplies, where they went didn't really matter.

Greil's Retreat
Crimea

Daniel glanced around the empty fort. The point of coming here was lost on him. Though recruiting the Greil Mercenaries would be a great help to them, and they would most likely want to go on this suicidal mission, actually finding them would take more work than camping out in their hardly used fort with only a day's worth of rations. But Aimee insisted that they would be here soon, so what could the rest of the convoy do?

Unbelievably, after only a few hours of camping, the main doors of the fort opened slowly and loudly. Someone was entering the fort. Everyone other than Aimee prayed to Yune that it wasn't bandits. Aimee bounded excitedly over to the main doors.

"Aimee? What are you doing here?"

Aimee looked at the solitary blue haired woman. "MIA!" She screeched launching herself onto the poor trueblade.

"Whoa there Aimee, I've been traveling for three days and my back's a killing me." Mia said with a laugh. "So what brings you all out here to this neck of the woods?"

"We have an interesting proposition for you." Aimee said as she led Mia in. "By the way, where are the rest of them?"

"Oh they'll be along soon. I'm usually good about coming by when they're here." Mia said. She looked around at the convoy. "Dang, were you guys planning to camp out here until they came? You have almost no food."

"Don't remind us." Ilyana said darkly.

"Anyways, you said that you had a proposition?" Mia asked. "I'm curious, it's been rather peaceful with all the continental treaties. Though I must say, I've been rather bored. Fighting bandits is hardly a good workout."

"Well, you'll love this." Aimee said. "We're setting out to find Ike."

Mia blinked. "Err... I think I misheard you. You said you were going out to find the boss?"

"Yeah, Ike." Aimee said. "He's been gone for too long. I'm getting worried."

Mia sighed. "You're not still on about marrying him and then settling down are you? Because that's probably not going to happen."

"It will once we find him!" Aimee cried loudly. "Now are you in? I could make it worth your while. We'll be going out of Tellius. There'll be plenty of time to practice your blade."

"Well...I dunno..." Mia said uncertainly. "I mean... it's pretty suicidal..."

"Jorge will spar with you every morning." Aimee said firmly.

"I'LL WHAT?!" Jorge yelled. "DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS!"

"Well then." Mia said happily holding out her hand. "You got yerself a deal."

"WAIT NOW I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS!" Jorge yelled. He turned to his brother. "Do something about this!"

"Eh, 'slong as it's not me. I really don't want to provoke her. She'll make me feed Haar's mount next if she decides to get him on this suicidal mission."

Jorge mumbled curses under his breath as he stormed into his tent. Aimee happily took Mia's outstretched hands and the deal was sealed. Mia was officially part of Aimee's insanity.

---

The next day, the mercenaries came back. Or at least a few of them did. Mist, Boyd and Rolf were pleasantly surprised to see the convoy and Ilyana there. After talking for a bit, Aimee brought up her proposition.

Unsurprisingly, Mist was delighted at the prospect of having a group of people go look for her brother. She had missed him greatly since he left. Boyd and Rolf however, weren't as thrilled. However, the prospect of actually being able to stretch his legs appealed to Boyd. Despite being a mercenary, there wasn't much work these days. Boyd thirsted for a bit of excitement.

Rolf however, didn't feel that finding Ike was even possible. Besides, he was worried about the villagers. If they left, nobody would protect them from the bandits. Rolf was about to make his intentions clear, when he noticed that the Silencer Shinon made for him was in Aimee's possession.

"Wah!! That's my bow! Master Shinon made it for me."

Aimee giggled and held up a lit torch. "It would be a shame if it got burned now would it?"

"No! Give me back my bow!"

"Then come with me to find Ike."

"What? But..."

"It'll make your lazy master get off his ass and work for a few days. All he does these days is sit on his ass, drink and flirt with pretty girls like me."

"Don't say that about Master Shinon."

Aimee pulled the torch closer to the bow.

"Alright!" Rolf whimpered. "I'll do it..."

Aimee smiled happily while Mist went over to console a rather distraught Rolf. The crazed shopgirl gave Rolf his bow back and went happily off to further her insane designs. Boyd looked over at the rest of the convoy.

"I'll take it she did something of the sort to you guys?"

"Yeah..." Jorge said. "Only she actually DID burn our supply convoy. We've been strapped for rations for the two weeks it took us to get here."

"Don't remind me." Ilyana whimpered. "I'm so hungry."

Mia pulled out her own rations bag and tossed it to Ilyana who happily, and savagely, dug in. Boyd looked at the scene and laughed a bit, then he turned and headed for the main fort.

"I better gather up the supplies and gold. We're gonna need it. Who else is coming?"

Jorge shrugged. "Who knows. When Aimee gets like this, nobody knows what is going on."

Castle Crimea
Melior, Crimea

"This is nuts." Daniel said. "This is absolutely NUTS."

"Well, we have to come here to pick up Titania, Rhys and Oscar." Aimee said. "Might as well ask Her Majesty if she wants in on the fun."

"Whether or not she wants in is unimportant." Jorge said. "The fact that she is obligated to run a COUNTRY is."

"Oh pish posh." Aimee said. "She's left before and it's been fine. Now come on, the others are waiting back at the fortress. We need to finish up here so we can go into Daein and Begnion before doing a final supply run and finding a ship."

"Wait... Daein and Begnion... you're not planning to upseat all three Soverigns of the Beorc nations to go on this crazy suicide mission of yours are you?" Daniel asked incredulously.

"Maybe..." Aimee said. "Oh look, there's Titiania and Oscar. Ohh and there's Rhys too. Hey guys!"

"Aimee." Oscar said riding up with Titania. Rhys was struggling to keep up. "What brings you here. Are your travels well?"

"The soon would be." Aimee said. "I'm looking at a new travel plan. I need people to come with me. Your friends Mist, Mia, Boyd and Rolf have already agreed to join. I was hoping to procure your services."

"And what, may I ask, is your plans?" Titania asked.

"We're going out to look for Sir Ike."

"Err..." Oscar said at a loss for words. "You're not still on about settling down with him are you?"

"My motives are inconsequential. I just require your services. I hear the Greil Mercenaries are rather short on jobs with the current peace and staunch crack down by the Royal Knights on bandits?"

"I must admit." Titania said. "We are. Are you willing to pay?"

"Daniel will." Aimee said. "He has the funds. What say you?"

"Well, I do worry about Ike. Oscar/"

"Sure. It'd be good to get out of the castle. Rhys?"

"It'd be good to see Ike again."

"It's settled." Titania said. "When do we leave?"

"In a few days. We'll meet you at the fort." Aimee said. She went over to Daniel and took his personal purse and tossed it to Oscar. "Here's the advance pay. We'll give you the rest when the job is done."

"Of course." Oscar said. "We'll hear from you soon of course."

With that, the three mercenaries left and Daniel rounded on Aimee. "Why did you take my purse?"

"You're paying them."

"WHAT?!" Daniel screamed. "How much?"

"Standard fare. Better hope we find Ike soon."

"Oh dear god." Daniel said. "I'd rather spar with Mia every morning. How the hell am I gonna pay them?!"

"You'll find a way."

Throne Room, Castle Crimea
Melior, Crimea

"Queen Elincia, these peasants demanded to see you."

Elincia looked down from her throne to see a four familiar faces stride towards her. Though three of the four look rather defeated. Nevertheless, it was a welcome break from the stern nobles she normally has to deal with.

"Aimee! It's been a while. You too Daniel, Jorge, Muston! What brings you all here?"

The three men looked away as Aimee stepped forward happily. "I have a proposition that might interest you."

"Really now? I must say I'm intrigued. This is the first time you've had a proposition for someone other than Sir Ike."

"It is about Sir Ike though." Aimee said. She pulled out a small map. "We know he left through the desert to Hatari. From there, I have it on good faith that he took a boat due East."

"Err... how'd she know that?" Daniel whispered to his brother a few feet away. Jorge just shrugged.

"I see." Elincia said. "And I suppose you plan on going after him?"

"I see we're on the same wavelength." Aimee said. "Perhaps Your Majesty would like to join us? It would be a considerable aid if you were with us to show Sir Ike how important he is to Tellius."

"Hmm..." Elincia said. "You have a point. Considering the world is currently at peace, I suppose leaving the capital couldn't hurt."

"Your Majesty..." Geoffrey finally spoke up from the shadows to the left of the throne. "You're not suggesting that you leave your country without a leader while you run off to search for Lord Ike? I admit while Lord Ike was vital to securing the peace we currently enjoy in Tellius, such a maneuver could lead to dire consequences."

"Indeed." Elincia said. "That is why you and Bastian will be running the country in my absence."

"Lord Bastian and my brother running Crimea?" Lucia cried from her right. "Your Majesty, are you certain? The council of lords would go berserk over such an agreement, especially considering my brother is but a commoner."

"He has the love of the people and the loyalty of his knights." Elincia said firmly. "That is enough. Come Lucia, we must make ready to leave."

"Yes Your Majesty."

"Geoffrey, make notice to Count Bastian. Have him return to the capital to assume his duties."

Geoffrey bowed and sped off while Lucia and Elincia joined Aimee and headed off to pack. Daniel, Jorge and Muston just stared in disbelief. If Aimee could get the Queen of Crimea to join in on this mad suicidal quest, they shudder to think who would be next.

"Ahh great..." Kieran said as he watched everyone leave. "Now Geoffrey won't need permission to kill us with training."

Daein Keep
Nevassa, Daein

"Method to madness Aimee, you can't just go around unseating sovereigns to help you on your mad quest." Jorge exclaimed. He, his brother and Muston paced the entrance hall of Castle Daein like expectant fathers outside a delivery room. Aimee on the other hand, seemed perfectly calm for what she was about to attempt.

"And you can't keep making US pay for what YOU want to do." Daniel grumbled, patting his pocket remorsefully.

Aimee shrugged off the comments. She could see a familiar figure approaching them from the throne room. Not exactly who she wanted to see, but it's a start.

"Aimee, Daniel, Muston, Jorge..." Sothe said with a nod. "It's been a while. I thought you guys were still traveling."

"We are." Aimee said. "But our next destination is indeed an interesting one. We've come to seek help."

"Help?" Sothe asked. "What sort of help?"

"Preferably help in form of you with a sword and your lovely wife holding her Thani tome once again." Aimee said. "We've confirmed the whereabouts of Sir Ike and we intend on finding him. However, being a convoy, we lack protection and diplomatic skills. That's where you and your wife comes in."

"Interesting to say the least." Sothe said. "As much as I would like to find Sir Ike again, I don't think leaving Daein is possible for Micaiah and me. Daein is still under reconstruction and I doubt having her Priestess of Dawn leave would be such a good idea."

"I see." Aimee said.

"I'm sorry Aimee." Sothe said. "I know Micaiah would probably agree to help you considering she can never turn down someone in need, but the peace treaties binding Tellius are still young; people take time to change. I'm sure you understand."

"Where is Her Highness anyways?"

"In the throne room." Sothe said simply. "I'm really not gonna call her so you can sucker her into helping you on this."

"I see." Aimee said, dejectedly. Sothe wondered if the girl was about to cry, but suddenly, Aimee's hand shot up and covered his mouth as she jumped onto his back.

"MICAIAH! SOTHE JUST FELL DOWN AND HURT HIMSELF!"

"MMPH!!!"

The silver haired Queen of Daein shot out of the throne room, staff in hand, ready to tend to her injured husband. Her close friends Edward and Laura followed closely, vulanary and staff in hand as well.

"Oh my god! Sothe! Are you okay?"

"MMPH!" Sothe shoved Aimee off his back. "I'm fine. God damnit Aimee."

"Heehee." Aimee giggled. "Hey Micaiah, we need your help."

"Really? Okay!" Micaiah said excitedly. "I'll do whatever I can."

"Sir Ike's in trouble. We're assembling a crew to go save him. We need you to come. Your power and status are critical to saving Ike."

"Well, if that's the case, then I will go." Micaiah said. "Sir Ike is after all, integral to the current peace. And I finally, after three years, get why Sothe is in love with him."

"He is heroic indeed." Aimee sighed.

"Micaiah." Sothe said after catching his breath. "You can't just LEAVE Daein. Who will run the country?"

"Edward can be in charge while I'm gone." Micaiah said happily.

"What?"

"What?!"

"WHAT?"

"WHAT?!!!!"

Aimee blinked. Four people around her just exclaimed what in sequence, including the man who was about to be given control of a sovereign nation.

"Micaiah..."

"Sothe... we're going."

"Yes dear."

Aimee smirked. "I see who wears the pants in this relationship."

Sothe simply threw her a nasty glare as he followed Micaiah off towards the royal chambers. Edward looked rather shock. Next to him, Laura squeezed his shoulder gently, bring the new temporary king back to earth.

Entrance Hall, Begnion Citadel
Sienne, Begnion

"You realize Sanaki really can't leave Begnion right?" Daniel said. "What could you hope to do? Sanaki can't leave, the Holy Guard can't leave, nobody can leave."

"There's a method to my madness as you call it." Aimee said mysteriously. "More importantly, I know my chances of recruiting the Empress of Begnion are worse than my chances of getting you to stop whining, but that's not the reason I'm here."

"Then what is-"

Daniel was cut short as Aimee ran off to greet a rather familiar group of people. He began to see what Aimee was after. The Empress can't possibly go, but the Empress does have many other people in her company that could go. Maybe there is a method to Aimee's madness. Daniel just didn't want to think where the madness would take them.

Meanwhile, Aimee was explaining her plan to a rather exceptional group of people. The Empress of Begnion was there, along with her Laguz liaisons, Tormod, Vika and Muarim plus the Heron Princess, Leanne, the former Raven King Naesala and his ever present shadow Nealuchi.

"She's not doing what I think she's doing is she brother?"

Daniel looked over at Jorge. "I think she's doing MORE than what you think she's doing."

Muston sighed. He found it better not to interfere just yet. When Aimee went crazy, trying to stop her usually ends up with someone hurt. He looked over at Aimee who wore a rather gleeful expression on her face and slapped a hand to his forehead. He had a bad feeling about this.

Aimee walked back to her companions with the group of dignitaries she just spoke with. "Well, princess Leanne wants to help us."

"Which means... I suppose the Ravens will definitely follow and Tormod and his buddies want in because Tormod can't be left out of the fun. Am I close?" Daniel asked.

"Yep." Aimee said cheerfully. "Empress Sanaki would join in but she has a commitment to rebuild Begnion and reorganize the senate."

"Thank Yune..." Daniel said. "Well, now that we have the great Raven King and the father of his children Princess Leanne with us, we might survive your insanity."

Leanne giggled at the joke while Naesala glared rather unhappily. Tormod jumped around like a hyperactive child going on a camping trip, which was probably what this was going to end up as, sleeping on the cold ground in the middle of nowhere with almost no food.

Daniel, his brother and Muston all prayed somebody would come to their sense and stop Aimee before it was too late. But looking at the eager look on Princess Leanne's face, they couldn't help but feel that their hopes are slowly being dashed.

Greil's Retreat
Crimea

"This is quite the group you've assembled." Titania said casually to Aimee. The group had returned to the fort to see their entire crew there, ready to leave at a moment's notice. "Is this it?"

"Pretty much." Aimee said. "I'm making preparations. We should be ready to leave within the week."

"I'll see to it our guests are comfortable until then." Mist said heading off.

"What still needs to be done?"

"Supplies." Aimee said.

"Yeah, she burned our supply tent to coerce us onto this suicide mission." Daniel mumbled darkly.

Titania laughed. "Well, we have enough to last us a few days. Where are we headed?"

"Hatari." Aimee said. "Then from there, we'll catch a ship."

"Sounds reasonable." Titania said. "This is rather exciting. I've never left Tellius before."

"I don't think anybody here has." Daniel said. "I must admit, I'm excited too. Though Titania, I'm afraid I might not be able to pay you."

"I figured." Titania said. "I don't really take what Aimee says at face value. Lets just do our best to find Ike."

"Agreed."

"Hey! Stop talking about me like I'm not here." Aimee huffed. "Whatever, just make sure you're ready to leave. I've got a few other things to take care of."

"Should we be worried?" Daniel asked worriedly.

Aimee smiled mysteriously. "Depends on how much you like Gallians."

"Oh lordy..."

Charlie: ...yeah... wait 'till you see what other cracked up plot devices we came up with.