Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction using characters from the X-men world, which is trademarked by Marvel. I claim no ownership over any of the characters or locations that you may recognize and am making no money from writing this.

Remy's Diabolical Plan

Chapter One: Remy's Diabolical Prologue

~X~

Once again, Remy was watching Rogue with more fondness that she realized. Of course, this was normal. She never realized. No one really did, except for Kitty.

When Kitty had first noticed this she had immediately pointed it out to Rogue. But for some reason or the other, Rogue hadn't believed her and had simply assumed that it was just because it was Remy and Remy seemed like everything with a pair of breasts and two legs. She had actually convinced Kitty of this at one point. But then Kitty had started noticing more. Probably because she was nosy and bored and had nothing better to do so she had started watching Remy. She watched with intent curiosity at the little things he did. Some things he didn't seem to notice that he did them at all. Other things he did on purpose.

Kitty had observed that he blatantly went out of his way to see Rogue, to be in the same room with her, to talk to her, to make her laugh anytime she was around. Sometimes at night during dinner, it was a scramble to get to the food. Remy always seemed to be there first, making sure Rogue was able to get some even before he did. He did little things like opening doors and pulling out chairs, and carrying anything that she couldn't. But these were the things that he did on purpose. There were also the things that maybe he didn't even notice. But Kitty had. When Remy spoke to Rogue, his voice would suddenly hold a softer note. His eyes would twinkle the tiniest bit and he always seemed to be smiling. He always went out of his way to be nice to her, and inevitably they had become friends.

Just friends.

But then of course life isn't all lollipops and rainbows. Not everyone is perfect, and no one could ever hope to be. As nice as Remy was to Rogue, and as much as they liked each other, there was one thing that the two of them couldn't seem to stop doing.

They fought constantly. And it was never over anything serious. It was always over the most utterly ridiculous things that no one else on the planet ever argued so fiercely about. And that's exactly how their fights were. Fierce and ugly and loud and so stupidly annoying that it had the rest of inhabitants of the X-mansion wanting to bang their heads against the wall. Which, by the way, they did very often.

Well, to be more precise, their heads and the wall got abused quite often because Remy and Rogue argued everyday. Sometimes twice, sometimes three times. But the upside was that eventually they would both get over it, and to be honest with themselves, they couldn't clearly remember what they had been arguing about in the first place. So they always went back to being friends.

And unbeknownst to Rogue, Remy wanted more than that. It might have helped matters a great deal if he had just come out and said it. But he didn't. Mostly because he feared the rejection. Of course he had flirted with Rogue when he had first come to live in the mansion, though at that time he hadn't meant anything serious by it, and Rogue hadn't taken it seriously.

But then slowly, over time, he had begun to like her more and more and then one day…one day he had his 'aha' moment.

He had been bored that day—excruciatingly so. So he went to find Rogue, who was always a good source of entertainment whether they were fighting or getting along. He spotted her out of the upstairs window, sitting out on the lawn. She was casually sitting next to a tree, her back to the trunk and a book in her lap. This was a completely normal thing and nothing was out of the ordinary.

But for some reason, Remy got a very strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. A first he thought it was the chili cheese fries that he had eaten the night before, come back to reek havoc on his insides. But the longer he watched Rogue, the more he came to realize that the feeling in his stomach was not the chili cheese fry kind of feeling. It was more pleasant, yet still gripping and terrifying. And the light coming down from heaven and shining all around Rogue was certainly not normal. He was positive that he had never seen that before, not on Rogue or any other woman. Nor had he ever felt such a strange pull to anyone, such a strong need just to be near them and spend time with them.

Obviously, he was in love. He had simply blinked in surprise at this revelation, thought, 'Hm…How interestin', and then went out to spend time with Rogue. It had just seemed like the natural thing to do at the time. He couldn't very well run out on the lawn, profess his undying love for her, and expect her to react in kind.

So he had held it in, relishing just in the time that he had with her, enjoying her company, and wishing inside that he had more. Over more time he became aware of all the different reasons that he had suddenly fallen for Rogue. After observing her more, Remy wasn't sure why he had never noticed all these things before. One of the million reasons he loved her was because she was beautiful and didn't seem to notice it at all. The only effort she really put into her appearance was to brush her hair and put on clean clothes, but it was enough. Another reason was the way her jaw clenched when he said something that she disagreed with. And because she was the worst driver to ever grace the planet. And because when he had first joined the X-men, she was the first one that had made an effort to bond with him, despite their past. And because she was NEVER on time for anything. And because of how grumpy she looked in the mornings. Rogue hated the mornings and her eyes would always be half closed and for some reason her hair would always be sticking up in the back, defying gravity.

But the thing that Remy loved the most was when he got to see her fight. He had always loved to fight—but now he enjoyed missions for a whole other reason. Rogue was brave and courageous and dived head first into a scuffle without flinching. He loved the way her hair spun when she delivered a kick to someone's torso, the way the blood beautifully splattered around her when she broke someone's nose, the looks on the faces of big, bad men when they saw a tiny woman running at them…The last mission they had been on, Remy had nearly had his head taken off because he had been to busy watching her beating the Blob over the head with a two by four.

Rogue was apparently completely blind to his affections, though Remy wasn't sure if he was glad about that or not. But either way, it didn't matter…because he had plan.

A very interesting, complex, and diabolical plan, of course. Anything less just wouldn't have screamed Remy LeBeau, and that just wouldn't have done.

He hadn't come up with the plan on his own. No, he had stolen it completely. Now that screamed LeBeau. He had innocently been in Kitty's room one day, searching through her things and trying to find the fruit snacks that he knew she had taken from him, (no matter how many times she denied it) when he had found something very interesting. It was many things, actually; a collection of things.

Kitty had a secret stash of erotic novels. At first, Remy hadn't planned on doing anything about it…other than telling EVERYONE…but then he changed his mind when he saw a particularly interesting cover, consisting of a shirtless man with big, manly nipples on display, clinging onto a beautiful woman who was bending over backwards in his arms. The woman's cleavage was about to fall out of her shirt and the look on her face was one of pure ecstasy. So naturally, Remy thought it seemed like a good book.

So he took it.

Over the next three days and he learned a few things as he read it. First off, despite its genre, it wasn't all that bad. It had a very interesting and gripping storyline. Second, he picked up a few extremely corny lines that he hoped to use later on with Rogue, just to see the incredulous look he got in return. And thirdly, the leading male in the book had come up with a very unique way of getting the woman he desired to fall in love with him. He made her think that he was in love with another woman, and asked the one that he really loved to help him become the perfect man. Of course, not everyone's version of the perfect man is the same so eventually, the woman that he was in love with had made him into what she wanted and had fallen for him. So then after he confessed his 'love' for her they had hot, steamy sex for thirty pages straight.

That turned out being his favorite part of the book.

It was too bad that it had to end. But eventually, after he had finished reading, the wheels started to turn in his head. Was it possible that he would be able to pull a similar stunt with Rogue? Maybe, if she let him know what it was about him that kept her from feeling the same way, he could change it. Maybe he could get Rogue into such a jealous frenzy that she would just throw herself at him. Maybe after he made her fall for him too they could make love for thirty pages straight. Maybe he had been reading too many erotic novels.

His plan would no doubt hold a thousand different lies but hopefully by the time it had come to completion, Rogue would be so in love with him that she couldn't see straight and she wouldn't care that he had lied.

It occurred to him more than once that he could just simply say to her how he felt. He could always ask her out, take her to a nice restaurant, and completely sweep her off her feet. Or he could act like a third grader and send her letter. That was a favorable idea. Or he could just hire a bunch of dancing midgets to come serenade her when she was least expecting it.

That was his favorite idea.

But even though he had all of these GREAT ideas, Remy decided on the one that would take the most work, the most effort, and the most time. And he was pretty sure that his diabolical scheme would be the surest way to Rogue's heart. Once it was over and done with it, it wouldn't matter that he had lied and schemed to get her. All that would matter was Rogue loved Remy and Remy loved Rogue…or at least this was how he hoped it would go.

He had yet to set the plan in motion. He wasn't quite sure exactly what he was waiting for, but he knew that any day now he would be ready…any day.

To Be Continued...