Hazelnuts – SM/WW Valentine Special – An indulgent one shot. This is for the shippers. Rated M means rated M.
About the Fiction Rating M: Before anyone asks, I know. Despite the timing, this is definitely in no way inspired by a certain R-rated novel now adapted into a "movie". Seriously. No, I'm not kidding.
Every character belongs to DC Comics.
METROPOLIS – February 10TH
"What to buy, what to buy?"
Like the proverbial broken record, the haranguing question repeated itself in Clark's Kryptonian-equipped head. It was quite literally the last minute he could've gone to the store. League duties, the occasional emergency and a slew of deadlines had kept him occupied the past few days, and time passed like the subway lights until he realised that he hadn't gotten his girlfriend a present yet.
That was when the alarm bells went off in his head. He should've set aside a lot more time for this. It was high on his list of priorities when he encircled the date on his calendar a few weeks ago.
For an average male, the all-important task of shopping for Valentine's Day gifts shouldn't really be this hard. Clark wondered to himself that committed men like him have done such an activity for ages. Fairly comprehensive guides, even books have been written for those needing a bit of guidance for this yearly phase in a standard relationship. And common sense-wise, it really shouldn't be that difficult to walk in a themed shop and purchase a trinket that showed his appreciation.
But consider this; Clark Kent is by all means NOT an average male. Far from it. Apart from the fact that he's an alien, he's never had much practice in the art of gift-giving when it came to human relationships. Well, he's never had that many relationships in the first place. Whatever dates or brief flirtations he's had were certainly nothing compared to what he had now.
Further complicating this task was that the relationship of his in question was not a "standard relationship". He and his girlfriend didn't have the traditional courtship consisting of dates, walks, nights in…sleepovers, what have you. But they'd both been determined to make it work like that even in the face of danger. The old adage 'Some things were worth fighting for' came into the literal sense when applied to him and her. They'd quite literally fought for this, bled for this. Never regretting anything just for each other, and their experiences only served to strengthen the bond they had between the two of them.
He wouldn't have it any other way, but it just made the task of buying a simple present into a labyrinth. That's before he factored in who his girlfriend actually was.
Diana.
Wonder Woman.
Princess Diana of the Amazons.
Immortal Olympian demigoddess.
In that order. Or not.
What would, or should, he get her? Chocolates? Fancy jewellery? A card with a nice message or a bit of poetry? A giant oil sucking plant? Flowers? Maybe.
That list would be adequate for anybody else, but for him it's not that simple. Diana was like a snowflake in an array of ice cubes. She was unique, so absolutely different from any other XX chromosome that'd ever lived in the known universe. Any jewellery he could afford would be nothing to a Princess. He wasn't going to get her mass produced chocolates either, or a card with a message that might seem sincere and special until you realise millions of other people were probably going to read the same few paragraphs from the same specified piece of card paper. No, she deserved something special, something that was meant for only her. Something that Clark Kent will not obtain with money.
So it was that the penny dropped in his head. He realised that he had to make this gift from scratch. There was nothing in the romance shop that would quantify to Diana just how much he loved her. It had to be from him and not from the shelf. With that conundrum solved, Clark Kent pencilled in an all-nighter on his schedule, making sure that he would have time to come up with the perfect gift.
LONDON – FEBRUARY 11TH
Diana was quite excited. This was the first Valentine's Day that they were going to spend together that promised to be just them. She remembered the events of last year's and gave a relieved thought at the realisation that this time it looked to be just the two of them spending time together with no other distractions. How time seemed to move so fast!
Indeed, so fast that amongst all her other obligations she had forgot to get Clark a present.
She wanted to smack herself in chiding when the she saw how close she had left it. If it wasn't for that Nutella® commercial on TV she probably still wouldn't've realised that it was so close. They had made preliminary plans that this time they would have a nice dinner at the Fortress instead of at an establishment. That way it would minimise the chances of anyone disturbing them on what she hoped would be a lovely evening.
They deserved to have a night like this, she thought. A night where it would be just him and her enjoying each other's company. Seriously, how many times do they just get to act like the young couple they are? Try as they might, something always comes up; standoffs need diffusing, volcanoes need plugging, it was like the fates were conspiring to always throw some sort of emergency in their way and they'd have to break off whatever they were doing to go be the public servants they were seen as. It was fulfilling, of course, but in a selfish way it was also frustrating. When they appear in public, it was always as Wonder Woman or Superman and nothing else. Two members of a League consisting powerful, otherworldly heroes on call for when mankind needs a get-out-of-jail-free card. Very little people appreciate the fact that their heroes in the spotlight also have lives behind the curtains. It was hard work keeping their own world under wraps. If ever word gets out that she was Diana Prince, Greek Emigrant or he was Clark Kent, the down to earth farmer's son there wouldn't be a moment's peace for either of them.
If Diana was going to be selfish over anything, it would be that. Their peace. Their right to act human in a world where they weren't really designed for. He was supposed to be a scientist's prodigy on a planet long gone, and she was a child from a realm now confined in myth sections of museum and libraries. But she was thankful that such went the tapestries of fates that they met each other instead.
The thought made her smile. In this universe, Diana believed that there were an infinite number of possibilities for every soul's thread lines of existence to play out. Infinite. Therefore, in all the possibilities; there would be an equally infinitely small chance that she would get to meet someone like Kal, and even smaller that Kal would be the one man that she was gifted to spend part of her life with.
Infinitely remote, but not impossible.
In the early years of the League, she and he all but had a serviceable working relationship together. He and she would turn up on the Watchtower, exchange pleasantries and go about their business. When it came to his duties, he was ruthlessly efficient and extremely focused, and admirably indefatigable when anyone was in need of him, but anyone called "Superman" was supposed to be like that anyway. Any other time and Superman was very reserved to a point that she regarded him as aloof. Like a man with a statuesque face but also with a statuesque heart. As in stony. The only person he was on water fountain-esque conversation levels with was Batman. Oh how she was perplexed that the Man of Steel was on amicable terms with the one called The Dark Knight. Sure, they had similarities, but it was outweighed by their differences. She chalked it up to standard male behaviour and thought nothing more of it since then.
As such, Diana was not interested in dating men, or 'pigs' as they were called on Themyscira. But over time she realised that what she was taught was archaic and when she grew to be more comfortable with the idea; it wasn't Kal whom she first had an eye for, regardless of how very extremely attractive and masculine he was. She was just a co-worker to him and he regarded her in the same light. Instead, she met an Air Force captain at a USO event, and they eventually started 'dating'. It worked up to a point when they realised that they were only attracted to each other and there was nothing deeper, and more importantly nothing would grow deeper. The relationship ended on good terms.
A while passed after that, and for some strange reason she grew attracted to another man. If you could call him a man. Indeed, Bruce Wayne was a human, but Batman is in no way a mere earthling. This was a man with more resources than most governments and more skills than most institutes.
That was not what attracted her though, it was that when he could be golfing or skiing, he chose to spend his life fighting the darkness. Bruce knew he could die on any given night, but unless some Gotham criminal actually managed to put a bullet in him he'd be the vanguard on Gotham rooftops the next sundown and so on and so on until the world stops. How could Diana not appreciate who he is? Sure, their world were drastic mismatches. She barely felt it when he made any physical contact with her but she trusted that her feelings would grow until it wouldn't matter that their physical relationship was like steel versus a sponge.
Opposites were supposed to attract like they do in the movies, right? Initially his stance was that 'co-workers should never have relations' and 'my enemies would get to you to get to me'. Seriously. Like Princess Diana, Champion of the Amazons and gifted by the Olympian Gods, couldn't protect herself from whomever he crossed. He was only acting out of honour, but Diana wormed her way to getting him to loosen up, and she was happy that he allowed himself to.
However, the longer she courted him, the more the truth came to the surface. Batman would never give up fighting darkness, but in fact Batman was the darkness. He couldn't be anything else but that, there was nothing of that soulful, emotional man that she thought she would uncover. The playboy that was Bruce Wayne was a carefully crafted illusion. Embracing what he fought was the only way he could go on, and he'd never let himself be vulnerable when every night he had to counter an onslaught of violence with his own brand of destruction that grew more and more on the lines of sadistic because "there was no other way".
She offered to help, reasoned to him that Gotham would be safer if the League was involved. She pressed and pressed but in a snap he blurted that Gotham was his turf, no place for her and she was supposed to be up there like a "Princess" with the rest of them metahumans. That hurt her more than he'd ever realise. She didn't need her own lasso to know that Bruce would never trust anyone and anything but the fact that his mission was the only thing he ever lived for. She liked him, but she was wise enough to know that the whole notion of "opposites attract" was only true when people were only opposites at first glance but were made of the same cloth underneath. Otherwise, it was just that; a cliché that never went beyond the end credits on any given show with such a tired, old premise - supposed to be only true for magnets.
Her separation from Batman, (she could never call him Bruce now when she knew he was only Batman and nothing else), was very painful. Not that she wished it was different, or felt scorned that a jewel thief somehow achieved what she couldn't, but it was just that whenever she saw him on the Watchtower Diana would be reminded that there was no one out there that she could be with. There was the story that every soul was one half of a circle that Zeus split with his lightning bolts so that they could experience all the trials and hardships that came with trying to finding their other half, and the eventual reward of joy that they'd be gifted with when they succeeded in the end. That story warmed her, gave her such a feeling of hope. But in the end, she was an immortal Amazon, and she therefore there's no-one out there to complete her.
Even Batman was rumoured to have some sort of have ties to Catwoman. There, two half-circles coming together.
Thinking back on it now, she and Kal were supposed to be polar opposites.
The reality that she was never a half of any circle, like an anomaly or a fluke destined to be alone, was what left her feeling despondent. She'd have to go through her immortal life knowing that however powerful she was there was no one out there for her to find. People who never knew real loneliness would say that "Wonder Woman, the perfect symbol of womanly perfection was supposed to be independent and unattached anyway." Sure, whatever. What about Diana though? Her gifts made her ethereal, but in her core she was a woman. Aphrodite and Athena are her patrons, but her heart was still human. The chemical reactions in her brain were still human. Her soul was still human. Forget Wonder Woman, when anyone is faced with the looming fact that there was no one out there for them, it'd be very debilitating. Imagine being the last of your kind, like J'onn. How lonely that must feel. But Aphrodite, even he found someone to spend his life with.
Morosely, she'd spend time in the Watchtower, burying herself in work. The distraction worked until a certain time in the calendar when love and happiness were supposed to be celebrated. Valentine's Day they called it. For Diana it was hard, when every time she walked in the streets and turned on any media outlet she'd be reminded that such level of happiness was hopelessly out of reach for her. It came to a head when she saw that no-one was signed up for Monitor Duty on Valentine's weekend due to "pre-mediated commitments." Only she was available, and of course what kind of hero would she be if she blew off Monitor Duty because everyone else was busy being happy? She signed her name on the rota sheet and prepared for a night in space in this stupid satellite faraway from any other soul. Even astronauts on the ISS had companions tonight.
So when she reported for duty, the last thing she expected was Superman sitting there on the captain's chair looking like he was getting settled in for a night of monitoring. Surprised, Diana asked her what he was doing here,
"Monitor Duty, of course." he said while taking a sip of his freshly brewed coffee.
"But, your name wasn't on the sheet…?"
"So?"
"So you shouldn't be here."
Superman gave her a full smile, but what he said caught her off guard.
"I signed the sheet, ripped it off and replaced it with a blank one. I thought it'd discourage anyone else from signing up. Guess it didn't work, right?"
Now that surprised her. He went on to explain that he didn't want anyone else to spend time all alone on this satellite. Being lonely was for only those used to solitude, like he was. His admission of his own willingness to be by himself so that no one else would have to be shocked her, and warmed her at the same time. She was aware of his pathological levels of self-sacrificing heroism in battle which she admired to an extent, but he was nigh-on invincible anyway so she thought it never carried that much fear with him compared to any of the Leaguers. But this was something else. Seeing then that he was on the same heights of loneliness as her gave her a new perception to what a being Superman was like. She realised…that he was like her.
"Come to think of it, why are you here?" he asked.
"I've got nothing lined up."
"Really? I thought you'd at least have something to occupy you other than monitor duty."
"Like what?"
"Umm, I don't know…a date, perhaps?
"Why? Because I'm a Princess?" she retorted, with a degree of hostility that somehow entered her. She never meant to be rude to him.
With another smile that assured her that he wasn't offended, he said calmly, "No, Diana, I just thought that someone as pretty and amazing and as great as you would have guys tripping over themselves to at least take you out to dinner tonight."
Diana let out a gasp at that as she drew back. She was expecting him to be all aloof and pragmatic, but he came out said something like that instead. People have said things like that to her before, but they all said it to Wonder Woman. Such words were just fabricated so that the pretty heroine-princess would give attention to the person who said it. But somehow, it was something else when it came from someone like Superman. He was supposed to be another emotionally detached hero, but how could she think that now? She never in a million years thought he felt that way. Superman apologised, offering that he never meant to embarrass her in such a way that he thought he did.
She was reddening at the cheeks, but it wasn't out of embarrassment. This man who never as much said anything other than 'hello' outside League missions to anyone let alone her just made her feel like a girl worth a million moons. He followed up his sincere statement by explaining that he wasn't trying snide but that only made her smile inside more. Remembering the moment, Diana never told him that she caught a glimpse of her lasso inadvertently getting close enough to have an effect on him. She deduced that the top-secret Kryptonian vulnerability to magic meant that such a powerful magic-laced tool like her lasso never had to be totally wrapped around him to, well…work its magic.
Moreover though, it immensely thrilled her inside to learn that what he just said was the truth coming out of his own soul.
With her face seriously, dangerously threatening to break out into a huge grin, Diana sat down on the next monitoring station over from him. She could see that he was pretending to type something in the computer, looking down and typing gibberish as a way to recover from the awkwardness he felt. It gave her another sense of thrill to know that she had this sort of effect on a man capable of withstanding many kilotons. Diana realised now that what happened then was the start of it all. It was the beginning of the two halves starting the final path of their journey, and it all happened on that lonely bucket o' bolts in space.
Monitor duty that night was nowhere near as lonely as Diana thought it would be. To his relief, she began by saying that she wasn't at all chagrined by his unexpected comment, and that she was on monitor duty because she really was alone with nothing else to do, or no-one else to be with. No one else but him, as it turned out.
They slipped into lovely conversation after that, which somehow was still strange, not because they weren't used to such an interaction; it was strange because talking to this man, sharing their realities, looking into his eyes, watching the movements of his features as he talked and laughed, the way his eyebrows rose in genuine interest as she talked about herself, it was strange because it all felt…completely normal. It was like talking to your own confidence. It was like they've known each other as best friends for years.
She confessed that she was lonely. Sure, her mother and sisters would always be there. But it wasn't the same, it was like there was a part of her that was yearning to be filled by something that doesn't exist. She couldn't put the feeling into words, but she found out she never needed to with him. He understood her feelings as if they were a book written by all the scholars. He related to her that whenever he needed a quick recharge, he'd go up into the barrier between sky and space where the Sun's rays would be unfiltered,
"Up there, I could see the whole world all displayed to me. Diana, the Earth we live in is beautiful, but what makes it so special compared to any other planet are the people who inhabit it. And when you look at that blue marble whole; in a way you could see every single human that has ever lived and died on it. It's at those times high up in the sky that I realise how alone I really am."
She'd never look upon him as just a colleague after what he just said.
Time was nothing as the night went on, and she wondered out loud why they never had a talk like this before. He, in a way that made her heart contract almost painfully, thought that she'd never be interested in someone like him. She asked him why he thought so, and he said that he was used to no-one noticing him. He never fit in anywhere. No one ever noticed him as Clark Kent, and as Superman people who noticed him were either despotic villains wanting his yoke or high-flying reporters too enamoured with the idea of Superman to realise that he was more than just Superman. Diana chided herself at that moment, for she too also thought that Superman was Superman and nothing else. She thought he was like Batman in that regard, mission first and mission last.
No, she learnt that Kal's motivation to be a hero was not that of vengeance, it was just because of a simple, golden rule his adopted parents taught and instilled in him when they were still alive. They were in their mid-late fifties when his spaceship crashed and they were gone from the world now, but not before they'd reared Clark to be the best man he could be. His only family now was his cousin. He explained that he never wanted to be a "Superman"; the 'S' on his chest that his alias was derived from was just Kryptonian script, meant as a tribute to his long-gone world. Superman just happened to be what the world saw him as. The fact that he had a real, non-facetious life outside his armour attributed to the fact that he was a 'man' first and a 'Super' second.
Diana found herself asking more and more about his life, his upbringing, and he shared it readily with her. She asked why, and he said that he knew he could trust anyone carrying around a Lasso of Truth. That was another thing she never expected out of him; trust. She asked why he usually acts so aloof and professional, and he explained that it was because he never wanted to get too close and too trusting to anyone. This wasn't just a matter of honour. His enemies were very, very powerful, even for a Superman, and capable of ending worlds at a moment's notice. He wanted to give off the impression that he was a lone wolf, so that anyone out for him would be out only for him. It wasn't just a question of chivalrous honour, but when he was Superman, he had a super-big target on his back. He wanted to make sure all threats were directed at him, because he knew he could take it and no else could.
She likened his existence to that of an Atlas. Meant to shoulder the world on his own. But as he went on more about his life, she realised he never saw himself as any sort of god. Surely, someone as powerful as him would have dreams of conquest, right? That got a chuckle out of him, and he admitted that when he was growing up in Kansas all he wanted out of life was to grow old and run the family farm. His powers just happened to be there because of the Sun and the gravity, and if Krypton didn't explode he'd be just a scientist. There was nothing special to him other than the circumstances he found himself in.
She just couldn't believe it, this was Superman! To learn and experience just how human he was just seemed to rewrite everything in her brain. But something else was happening, she realised it when she grew fond of the way his eyes would always be the most expressive thing on his face regardless of how aloof he wanted to be seen as, the way his cheek would crease and dimple whenever he smiled, the way his chiselled jaw would tighten whenever he was thinking of what to say next. That unruly lock of hair over his forehead. She was growing emotionally attached to all that was him.
Eventually, the shift came to a close. Those fourteen hours felt like the first fourteen minutes of the rest of their lives. He offered to stay and fill up the mandatory shift report. That was another thing about him, he was the perfect gentleman. Thinking on it now, she never noticed the little things he did like holding open doors, standing up for others, letting everyone have their say and many things that were taken for granted among all the other things he does.
As Diana was getting ready to leave, she commented that she wished to know more about him. Kal, as she called her now, offered out of the blue that they could have breakfast pancakes in Smallville. If that was her sort of thing and if she wouldn't mind. Without a moment's hesitation, she agreed to come.
Those chocolate pancakes tasted great, and the golden fields surrounding his inherited farmstead were indeed enchanting in their own way. Especially when it was just him and her racing through the open, blue sky as if they were free of any other responsibilities, obligations or inhibitions. There was nothing else but him, a boy; and her, a girl. Simply them. It was also very simple what unfolded between Clark and Diana in the happy weeks and months following that day.
Indeed, simple as Smallville.
TO BE CONCLUDED