Prologue
The rain pounded upon Milk's iron armor as he made his way across the murky swamp biome. A look of fierce determination shined in his eyes like his diamond sword shining against the gray backdrop of the sky above him. His steel-gray armor clinked and clanked as he edged closer to the ravine. Thunder boomed in the background, echoing over the continuous drone of rain.
Milk stood over the edge of the ravine and saw the figure at the bottom. The figure was dressed in black, a black cape, and a black hawk mask revealing nothing of his face except his deep, red eyes. The same shade of red as the blood of those he had so mercilessly slain. Milk looked down at the creature with hatred in his eyes. The evil, inhumane creature that was once his friend.
The figure retreated into a small cave at the bottom of the ravine, his black cape trailing behind him. Milk jumped down into the flooded ravine and followed the figure into the cave opening, his feet splashing in and out of the water as he chased the figure furthur underground. He quickened his pace, readied his sword, and screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Jelly!"
Nat frolicked through the field, carelessly crushing the flowers and grass beneath his feet. He giggled innocently as he murdered several cows. He hit one cow sloppily with his stone sword and cut off part of its face, letting an eye fall to the floor below, covered in blood.
"Oops," he said, and swung hard down onto the cow's neck, and its head went flying and fell ten feet away, the rest of its body falling on its side and gushing blood like a motherfucking fountain.
Milk leaned against a tree eating a carrot, watching Nat murder the poor creatures. He watched in disgust as Nat tore open a murdered cow's belly and took out its meat, eating it raw to ease his hunger. He then ripped the skin off the cow and put it on his feet as a pair of makeshift boots.
"Gotta be ready to fight, even a little protection is something." Nat explained, the blood of an innocent cow dripping down his chin.
"Whatever you say, you fucking madman." Milk replied, finishing his carrot, "See, this is why I'm a vegetarian in minecraft. You grow it and eat it. It's simple. You don't have to tear open a cow and eat its insides raw like a fucking barbarian."
"Don't fucking call me a barbarian," Nat said, "I don't want to be compared to those fucking savages. The most brutal faction on this server, filthy animals."
"Ight, just sayin." Milk said.
Vegi stood about ten feet away, examining his surroundings. He sniffed the air, licked the dirt, felt the direction of the wind, smacked his ass and twerked that shit. After he finished, he looked up at them both and smiled.
"This is the place." he said, and then whipped out a diamond shovel and started digging.
They both stood up, Nat wiped the blood from his face, and they followed. Vegi dug diagonally, making a stairway underground, and milk followed behind, holding up a torch. After a few minutes of digging Vegi fell into a cavern, digging underneath his feet like a noob. Milk leaped in after him, followed by Nat. They all looked around at the cavern they had fallen in. Milk put up his torches, because the cavern was already filled with them. This area had already been explored.
"What'd I fuckin' say?" Vegi asked, all proud and shit.
"Nigga you da bomb!" Milk said, and they brofisted, as Nat picked up a giant cave spider and bit off it's motherfucking head.
"You crazy bastard." Vegi said, as Nat tore out one of the spider's eyes and put it in his pocket.
"The fuck." Milk said.
"This spider eyes will be helpful later, somehow, maybe." Nat explained.
"Or maybe you're just a crazy fuck?" Milk asked.
"Yeah, maybe." Nat said, and ate the spider's body, grinning.
They looked around the cavern, and saw four tunnels going separate ways.
"Their base is near here, I know it." Vegi explained.
"Alright, I say we each take a different tunnel and see what we find." Milk suggested.
"Hail Satan." Nat said, snorting cocaine.
They all took a different tunnel. Nat's tunnel ended rather quickly, a simple dead end with a torch on the wall. Milk's tunnel ended in a massive ravine filled with ores, as well as deadly creatures. Vegi's tunnel ended in a pool of lava.
Milk mined some diamond, making a diamond sword from a stick he had and put it in his inventory alongside his wooden one. Vegi filled a bucket with some lava from the pool, and put it in his inventory case, thinking it might help later. Nat snorted some more coke and rubbed gravel in his eyes because the burning sensation was such a fucking thrill god yes.
They all met back up at the intersection and surprisingly none had found the base. So they all headed together into the last tunnel, hoping to find it. So onward they went, following the torches, until finally, they reached a wooden door.
"Fucking hell yes playas what I tell ya!" Vegi screamed excitedly.
"I fucking love you no homo!" Milk said, and they brofisted (with their cocks no homo)
"Coincidentally, the one tunnel we didn't check had the base." Vegi said.
"How convenient for the plot." Milk said.
"Hail Satan." Nat said.
"Oh shit, I forgot to bring a goddamn sword, I'm such a faggot." Vegi said.
"Here," mili said, and threw him his wooden sword, and took out his diamond one, ready to fight.
"K thx" Vegi said.
Nat took out his stone sword, which he had used to murder hundreds of animals, and they all opened the door and headed up the stairs behind it.
"What the everloving fuck you motherfuck!?" Lamebird screamed, as Vegi walked up to him and started smacking him with the wooden sword. He hit his face repeatedly until Lame started crying and fell in the corner.
"Lamebird, you're lame as hell." Vegi said, as he hit him in the face with the wooden sword until he crushed his skull and destroyed his brain, ending his miserable life in a traumatic and unexpected way.
Deadlox was in the farm, harvesting wheat, when milk snuck up on him and slashed his throat, killing him instantly and letting his body drop onto the crops below, ruining them. The blood washed into the water Dead had been irrigating and turned it into a nice, girly, pink color. Milk looked down at Dead's lifeless eyes, and he stomped on his head, crushing his entire skull into bits and pieces, letting his mushy brain squeeze out the sides, and kicked him into the pink water, which was slowly getting redder. He headed back up into the base to meet Vegi and Nat.
"Yo, mah nigga, was anyone down there?" Vegi asked.
"Dead." Milk replied.
"Who's dead? Who was it?" Vegi asked.
"Dead."
"I know they're dead, but WHO was it?"
"Dead!" Milk streamed at Vegi's retarded face.
"FINE DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHO IT WAS ASSHOLE!" Vegi screamed, frustrated.
At that exact moment, Waswas and Invisible teleported into the base.
Milk, Vegi, and Nat drew their swords and pointed them at Waswas and Invisible's faces.
"Hold the fuck up you fuckugly chickens, this is a fucking raid!" they all three screamed simultaneously.
"I am a gay homosexual faggot who likes other men." Waswas said.
"I have no penis." Invisible explained.
"Uh...ok?" Milk said.
"We didn't ask." Vegi said.
Nat smacked Waswas across the face with his stone sword, and it shattered in his hand.
"Damn!" Nat said, "Out of durability, because of all the innocent animals I've slain with it."
"Please don't hurt us." Waswas said.
"We're just gay lovers." Invisible explained.
Vegi thought about it.
"Hmm, alright. We'll let you go. If you get the fuck out of here and not come back until we've destroyed it." He said.
"Oh yes, that's fine." Waswas said.
"We don't need a home as long as we have each other's bums." Invis said.
"Ight faggots, get out." Milk said all cool and shit because he was so cool, and they teleported out.
And then Nat, Vegi, and Milk got to raiding. They collected shit from all the chests. There was nothing good in any of them, because this faction was super gay and they all just had sex with each other instead of mining. So they decided to blow the base up, since there was nothing of worth in it.
"Alright, is that all?" Vegi asked.
"Yeah, we killed everyone and got the loot, which was nothing." Milk said.
"We killed them all?"
"Yep," Milk said. "Dead is dead, Waswas *was* here, but now he isn't, and invisible, well you can't even see him can you?"
"Well that was puntastic!" Nat said, shooting heroin into his skull and performing Satanic rituals.
"Ight, let's light this bitch up." Vegi said, and preceded to put a bunch of tnt across the base.
They all went back to the stairway and waited as Vegi lit the tnt near the door and ran downstairs. There was a huge boom. Like a giant fart. Except it wasn't a fart, it was an explosion, crumbling a once prosperous homoerotic base into rubble. They all high fived, brofisted, smacked each other's asses and went home, calling it a day.
The snow was whiter than the pages on this book before I filled em. Jelly's face redder than my enemy's blood when I killed em. Jelly went to Icy cause he wanted a drug. Icy gave it to him liquid form in a mug. I'm gonna stop rapping now cause otherwise it'll make like no sense at all srsly.
It was frigid cold, the snow was whiter than snow white, and so was the sky, although there were no clouds or snow here. It wasn't really a snow biome, more of an icy desert. Jelly was real tired from running the server, doing owner shit, and he needed some drugs. He was so desperate he went to a part of the server inaccessible to the rest of the players, because it was beyond "the edge." Yet Icy lived there. How he got there, no one knows. He was a myster that one, but Jelly didn't question it. Jelly tped to the edge and swam through the ocean, using powers only an addict or someone similar could use.
With his thirst for drug, he managed to break through the edge, something that most people didn't think to be possible, and escaped the accessible parts of the server. He swam through the ice cold water, his bones chilling and his breath shallow, and he finally reached a giant block of ice, and climbed onto it. He walked through the cold isolated desert outside the edges of the world he owned, and reached an igloo. He went inside the igloo and talked to Icy, telling him how tired he was from coding and all that shit. Icy told him it was okay, and offered him a mug of drug.
Jelly took the mug from Icy and went back home, doing /spawn, ready to drink his drug. Icy went back into his lair, and the rest will be found out in the next chapter if I ever write it.