Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not from my imagination but from the imagination of Hidekaz Himaruya and therefore, any relationship to people or events real or not is purely unintentional…
Story: Vienna Waits for You
Genre: Comedy
Characters: Austria, Hungary, Italy and many others
Synopsis: The great Austrian Empire, the great power of Central Europe, musician, composer, benefactor, employer and spectacle-wearer. Join us for tales throughout the centuries. Not in chronological-order. Not for the faint-hearted. Not for people who don't like waltzes, pasta, dead emperors or men in dresses (the latter two may be the same thing).
Author's Notes: This is basically A Day In the Life but with Austria. A snapshot in each chapter of Austria's life and some history for the history geeks. This won't be in chronological order. There will be appearances by other Nations.
Chapter 1: Tales from the Vienna Woods
The woman had been riding for many days from her homeland of the Hungarian plain, to mountains, rolling pastures and finally to this place. She adjusted her stained travelling cloak and, not for the first time, ensured her quiver was full of arrows. Her crossbow hung from her back, her sword - much sharpened - at her side.
The castle loomed up out of the mist. Countless turrets, towers and arrow-slits built into the thick walls surrounding the edifice told of many battles. Elizaveta Herdevary hesitated and then gee'd her horse on. She had no idea what her new 'master' would be like. Normally Maximillian wasn't a skittish animal but now he reared and snorted. The path gave way to a moat, a drawbridge being the only way across.
Elizaveta looked up at the gothic monstrosity. According to the tourist information leaflet she'd procured back in the nearest town, the castle had been built over 200 years ago to withstand the Ottoman Army. It had certainly seen better days. There were still cannonball marks in the walls. She wondered what the inhabitants were like and what her new master would be like. She was nervous, the Ottoman Empire had taken over half of her country and now she was forced to go and live with the great Austrian empire. She hadn't seen him since they were children. Surely he wasn't still a stuck up prissy kid in spectacles being bullied by Prussia?
She dismounted and patted Maximillian. "Stay," she told him as if he were a dog. He snorted. She walked up to the edge of the moat and noted with relief as she didn't really want to swim the moat and storm the drawbridge (although she could have done), there was a stone pillar which had rope hanging from it. There was a notice on it that said 'no cold callers' in several different languages. She pulled the rope. A loud clanging could be heard coming from inside. She waited.
After twenty minutes, six pulls of the rope and idly aiming her arrows at the castle, a peevish voice yelled, "Not today thank you!"
"I'm not trying to sell anything," she called back.
"Bye then," the voice replied.
"I'm Elizaveta Herdevary, I'm here to stay. You might know me as Hungary," she called.
"Oh for heavens sake. Why didn't you say? You look like a man."
She looked down at her attire. Brown breeches, tunic, armour, crossbow slung over shoulder, sword at her side. "Well you never know who you're going to meet on the road." She answered.
"Can you go back out and pick up some milk?" the voice yelled.
"No! I've travelled far from my country, I'm tired and my horse needs rest, open the bloody drawbridge," she answered. Who were these people?
"Oh how rude. I see." The voice sounded no less peevish. "Just hang on while I find the right button."
The drawbridge dropped and then stuck halfway.
Hungary stared at it. "Can't you open it any further?"
"Can't you jump?"
"My horse can't jump that high."
There was more commotion inside and she could hear the voice arguing with someone else. "Just go, Feli and bring this person in will you? Use the back door. Yes I know they look rough but…" The arguing broke off and then the voice came back, "Excuse me? Will you promise not to kill my servant who I'm sending to bring you round the back?"
"I suppose…"
"I'm sorry but 'I suppose' isn't good enough."
"Oh for heaven's sake! Of course I won't kill him!"
Over thirty minutes later just as Hungary thought nobody was coming and she was about to give up, a small Italian in a maid's costume, his eyes half closed, wandered up.
"Ve, don't kill me!" The Italian was saying and looked half scared. He had his hands up in surrender.
"I'm Hungary and I won't kill you," Hungary promised.
"You're hungry? We don't have pastaaa but I can cook you something."
"Erm why are you wearing a maid's uniform?"
"Mr Austria thinks I'm a girl."
"Why don't you tell him you're not. And by the way you can call me Elizaveta."
"Wow really?"
"Well yes, just tell him…"
"No I mean I can really call you Elizaveta?"
"As that's my name, yes."
"I'm Feliciano Vargas, but my brother calls me Veneziano."
"You're Italy!" Hungary suddenly exclaimed.
"Well, yes…" He looked a little worried. "I had to come and live with Mr Austria when he took over the top half of my country. But he's okay. He can be bad-tempered and a bit mean and he tells me off for singing and painting and breaking things and he doesn't like spending money and he's sometimes a bit boring but you'll like him…" the Italian said at a hundred miles an hour.
"You're not exactly selling him to me at the moment, Feli, I gotta say."
"I wouldn't want to sell him," the small Italian said in all seriousness. "I wouldn't get very much for him."
"You're funny."
"Ve!" The Italian looked very happy at this and led the way around the back of the castle, very slowly.
Hungary attempted to get the Italian to ride with her on the horse, but he seemed horrified at the idea.
Finally they came to what appeared to be a door set into the side of the moat. "Ve, we can go in this way. It's the tradesman entrance, Mr Austria says."
"You mean an escape tunnel under the moat? For when you get stuck in a siege perhaps? Very clever…" Hungary said.
Italy looked at her in amazement. "Wow… but no, it's so Mr Austria can avoid his emperors when they come to visit and also we have problems with the drawbridge."
"Right…"
The tunnel smelt of damp and soil and Maximillian did not like it at all. Neither did the Italian maid as he clung to Hungary in the darkness.
"Tell me more about the castle, Feliciano," she asked to take his mind of their journey.
"Ve…well there is Holy Rome. He is really creepy and he stares at me. And then there is Gerald…"
"Holy Rome lives here as well?"
"Oh si. But he is weird."
The whole set-up sounded weird to Hungary but she said nothing. They came to the end of the tunnel and into a large courtyard. "Aren't you worried about enemies finding this tunnel and getting in?" She asked the small Italian.
Feliciano looked at her with big half-closed eyes. His lips trembled. "You mean like… like… that nasty prankster who makes Mr Austria angry?"
Hungary had no idea who he meant, but she changed the subject when she saw he was about to cry. "Is there anywhere I can stable my horse? He's a warhorse and very valuable."
Italy looked at the horse and then at her. "I think so… come with me…" he led to her to the stables, picking up a broom as he went. "We don't have any horses," Italy said as they entered the empty stables.
"Mr Austria doesn't ride?"
"No, he's a rubbish horse-rider. He's a bit scared of horses."
Hungary unsaddled Maximillian and made him comfortable. "Don't you have a stable boy, a groom or anything?" She asked, looking around.
"Mr Austria tries to save money," Feliciano replied.
"So is it just you?" She asked looking his maid's outfit up and down, her eyebrows arched.
"And Gerald the butler. Oh and big Bertha from the village who comes in to cook and clean because I'm not very good at cleaning and Mr Austria doesn't like pasta."
"Well isn't this going to be fun?"
Italy just grinned at her. His eyes actually opened this time.
"Show me the castle then and I'll get some apples and carrots for Maximillian," Hungary said.
Italy led the way into the castle.
It was evident that the place needed a major overhaul. Tattered tapestries hung from the walls of the corridors. The stone floors were chipped but fairly clean, obviously someone - either an inept Italian or this 'Big Bertha' had swept them.
Innumerable corridors led off to stone steps going up and down, with rooms leading off to yet more rooms. The air smelled damp. Spider webs hung from an archway high above Hungary's head. She ducked automatically and shuddered.
Italy seemed oblivious and was actually humming away to himself.
"How big is this place?" Hungary asked.
"Oh very big. I can't remember how many dining rooms and staterooms and bedrooms. We also have a dungeon!" Italy said cheerily.
Hungary gulped. "Is it haunted?" She asked. She didn't believe in such guff, but if anywhere had a ghost, this would be it she thought as they went down a darkened corridor, and then into a large hall.
Italy jumped and turned round, "Do you think so?" He looked scared.
Hungary shrugged in answer and looked around. The hall was massive. As large as the battlefield she'd last fought on. Or perhaps a tad smaller… There was a fireplace at the far end which could easily have accommodated herself and her horse. Full-length windows looked out onto a wide expanse of lawn which had sheep grazing on it - which Hungary did not expect.
A table spanned the length of the room which could easily seat an army. Tatty velvet chairs completed the look. Hungary doubted anyone had ever held a banquet in here for a long time.
"Mr Austria will be here in a minute," Italy said confidently. He was looking around though as if expecting a ghost to appear.
"Why do you have sheep in your garden?" Hungary asked, finally. "And aren't you going to offer me a drink?"
Both these questions seemed to confuse Italy and he ran up and down trying to decide whether to get Hungary a drink or explain the sheep. "The sheep shouldn't be there… drink… oh yes…"
The double doors at the end of the hall were flung open and a very bored looking man in a dusty looking black suit entered.
"Would you like a drink, Sir?"
"I'm a miss," Hungary said, looking him up and down. "Are you Mr Austria?"
"Gerald, Miss," the butler said. He ignored Italy's panicking.
"Ah yes...Gerald. A glass of something wold be nice, thank you."
Hungary didn't think anyone could walk in such a despondent manner, but the butler did. She turned to Italy and caught him by the arm, "What's up with him?" She asked, pointing at Gerald. Although this gloomy castle was probably the reason, she thought.
"Mr Gerald has been Mr Austria's butler for over a hundred years and he's unhappy about his pension rights," Italy said in a rush as if he'd memorised it.
"Ah…A hundred years…" Hungary watched the butler pour her a drink from a decanter on a table hidden in the corner. "Odd…" she assumed the Italian was joking or the butler had been joking when he'd told Italy.
"Mr Austria will be with you soon," Gerald told her as he handed her a crystal glass of wine. He spoke in such a flat, bored voice that Hungary was sure dust and cobwebs had settled on them all before he'd finished his sentence.
"Right. Yes. It would be nice to meet my new erm…" she paused and took a sip of wine. It was as cheap as it looked.
"...Master?" Gerald finished her sentence. His voice was flat but Hungary almost detected a hint of sarcasm. She snorted her rubbish wine down her travelling cloak.
"I bet he's lost. Shall I go find him?" Italy asked.
"Do so, young Feliciano," Gerald nodded. "I will look in the west wing, you take the east."
"Jeez…" Hungary muttered, taking off her cloak and trying to make herself comfortable at the table. A mouse scuttled past her. She felt a little sorry for the poor thing.
Minutes ticked by. Or perhaps days and years. It was entirely possible in this place to lose a century, Hungary thought. She was about to get up and look for Austria herself when the doors were flung open again.
Hungary slowly rose, expecting Italy or Gerald. It was neither. A man in heavy velvet tunic and a tatty cloak entered the room. He was neither tall nor short, his black hair cut short, not like the fashionable noblemen Hungary had seen in Budapest with their powdered wigs. He looked slim underneath all his finery - which wasn't actually fine. In fact, he looked as if he'd rummaged through a dead nobleman's wardrobe. He had a mole on his left cheek and as Hungary approached to shake his hand, she was surprised to see violet eyes behind round wired spectacles.
She held out her hand, "I'm Elizaveta Herdervary, Nation of Hungary," she said.
He extended his hand cautiously, "Count Roderich Von Hapsburg Edelstein," he answered. "Nation of Austria. The Hapsburg Empire."
Hungary managed not to snigger and squeezed his hand, forgetting her firm grip.
Austria's hand was white when he pulled it away and he gritted his teeth. "Welcome to my abode, Miss Hungary." He held out a long parchment. "Here is a list of your duties."
She took it from him and glanced at it. She was struggling very hard not to laugh.
"You are to clean, cook and look after the livestock. There's also a hole in the roof that needs mending," Austria continued. "You will call me, Sir. Or Master. That is all. I expect you to be at your duties from 6 am tomorrow morning."
Hungary threw the list over her shoulder and, on her way out of the room, slapped Austria on the back so hard he almost fell over. "Yeah right… see you later Roddy," she said.
She almost fell over a short man in a large hat stood in the doorway. "Oh sorry, kid," she said and headed up a winding staircase towards what she hoped was the bedrooms. She really needed a bath.
"Who was that? And why is that young man allowed a crossbow in the castle?" The 'kid' asked Austria angrily.
"That was Hungary. Miss Hungary, and stop waving your hat around, Holy Rome," Austria sighed. Honestly, teenage empires… However, this newcomer had severely disturbed his routine and he doubted very much that things were ever going to be the same again.
To be continued...