Summery - What if Harry Potter fell deeply in love with the new boy at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry and that boy saved Harry from the ever growing darkness and what would happen if the new boy just happened to be Harry's dead godfather?

Disclaimer - I do not own any of these characters but wish I did.

Chapter 1

To most people the summer is the happiest time of the year; the kids get time off school, people get to go on holiday. However it is not that way for everyone there are a few people who hate the summer because it means that there is no school, one of the kids that felt like this was Harry Potter. Harry had spent the first 11 years of this life thinking he was nothing only to find out that he was a wizard... a very important one at that, everyone in the wizarding world believed that he was the boy that was going to end the war everyone except Harry that was. Harry had quickly learnt how dangerous it was to be the boy who lived in his first year one of his professors tried to kill him, in his second year he was almost killed by a basilisk, his third year he was attacked by dementors, in his fourth year he had won the Triwizard but ended up facing Voldemort in a graveyard with Cedric and had to watch Cedric die and the fifth year was by far the worst year that he had faced so far. At the end of the fifth year he had been tricked into going to the ministry and had to watch his godfather die before his eyes, it seemed to him that everyone that got closed to him seemed to die and he didn't want the same thing to happen to his friends.

Harry lay on his bed with his eyes shut he couldn't help the strong feeling of guilt that kept washing over him every time he pictured his godfather Sirius Black's death. He had tried so hard not to think about what happened but it happened every time he shut his eyes, it was entirely his fault that he died and now he missed him more than anything in his life. He had spent his whole life thinking that he didn't have anyone except his aunt, uncle and cousin who all hated him and then in his third year he finally found out he had a godfather. He had only just got to know him because of circumstances beyond his control and now he was gone. He wished there was some way of bringing Sirius back to life and had spend the first few weeks of the summer trying to find a way and if he had found a way he would have done it no matter what the consequences were. Harry wiped at his eyes as a tear ran down Harry's face the fact Sirius was gone and he was back with them downstairs made life unbearable. He dreaded going back to school he knew that people would find out what had happened if they didn't already know and if they did know they would either look at him in pity or they would avoid him because he was a murderer.

The next few weeks passed by so slowly for Harry, he spent all the spare time that his family would let him have locked in his room, his eyes and head hurt from crying but at the same time he felt that he deserved the pain that he was feeling. He felt that there were no more tears left in his body to cry, however the pain would not go away and the nightmares continued to haunt him every night and each dream got darker and more graphic making Harry wake up soaked in sweat and his body shaking. The voice in his head, which he knew was Voldermort's, was getting louder and no longer only happened in his dreams, he now heard him during the day and the voice always told him the same thing...that it was his fault, he had killed Sirius and he truly did have darkness eating at his soul. Each time he heard the voice it made the pain in his scar worse to the point that Harry no longer believed he could take anymore and just wanted to make it go away... By any means necessary. He had tried once but Dudley had caught and stopped him. He wished for someone or something to take the pain away.

The days of the holidays seemed to blend together Harry no longer knew what day or date it was and soon began to believe the summer would never end if the summer didn't end then he would be stuck her... Stuck in hell; he needed to survive and needed to get back to school. Harry eventually started to pack his school stuff into his case making sure that he had everything; nothing about packing seemed to stick in Harry's mind but then again why would it? It was the same shit every holiday the same routine that he could go through blindfolded now. The next day at the station Harry was quiet and withdrawn as he met up with his two best friends, he knew that they loved him and wondered if they would be worried or maybe they were too busy with their own problems.

Ron and Hermione looked around to find an empty compartment and waited until the they were inside and the door was safely shut before they finally looked closer at Harry's sunken face, his emerald eyes no longer had their usual sparkle, no look of happiness as he looked back at them instead they seemed dead and cold.

"Harry look about what happened... It wasn't your fault you couldn't have know, we know how you felt about Sirius and if you need to talk"

Hermione put her hand on Harry's arm and gave him what she thought was a friendly smile, hoping to try and bring back her friend, she wanted nothing more than to see the carefree harry that she remembered from the years before. She knew that Harry had taken everything that had happened before very hard and wished that she could do something to help him. It took all of Harry's strength not to run out the compartment crying, why did she bring him up? Why did she have to remind him what he had done? Didn't she understand him at all? If she did she would have known that he didn't want to think about what happened, if he thought about it he would cry and that was the last thing he wanted on a train full of his schoolmates. The welcoming feast and sorting ceremony seemed to go by in a blur; Harry knew what was going on around him to a certain extent he knew that people were talking to him and he was answering but his mind was elsewhere and he didn't know what he was saying to the others. The Gryffindor common room that had once seemed so much like home now felt like a prison to him; he sat staring out the window of the dorms and it was then that something caught Harry's eye it looked like a dark black figure except for the fact that it was walking on all fours like an animal. Suddenly it walked out of the shadows and Harry felt like his heart was going to stop as he realised it looked like a large black dog. The dog seemed to be so familiar to Harry but he didn't dare to believe his own eyes at the minute, it couldn't be him could it? Harry knew that he was dead and that the dog couldn't possibly be him... It couldn't be Padfoot could it?

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