A/N: So this is just a one-shot about Remus Lupin after he realizes everyone in his life is gone. It's sad and short, but I hope you'll enjoy anyway.
My world is gone. Not just ripped apart or messed up or slightly problematic. It's dead and gone.
I'm alive, but in the timeless minutes that tick by I wonder why. All I have to live for is my mistakes.
They're all dead.
Marlene. Dead.
Mary. Dead.
Dorcas. Dead.
Peter. Dead.
Lily. Dead.
James. Dead.
Sirius. Dead to me.
No, Sirius is worse than dead. I'd rather him dead right now, actually. I hate him. I hate him with every fiber in my being. He betrayed them. He spent so much time preaching about his bloody family he failed to see he was slowly fitting into the 'Black' mould.
It only happened a couple of weeks ago, but the pain is still as strong and fresh as ever. I remember all of them.
Sirius was the one who found Marlene. She was in her bed, sleeping. But never to wake again.
Mary died in my arms. We were dueling Malfoy when he sent a curse no one recognized. I sat with her for an hour before she whispered "Not in vain," and fell silent.
Dorcas fell off a cliff. The same duel her best friend perished in. She was laughing.
Peter, Lily and James were all the responsibility of Sirius. Sirius bloody Black killed them all. He blew up Peter. He sold out Lily and James.
Lily and James were the worst. Especially Lily. When I saw her, with those bright eyes pleading with me, I didn't sleep for a week. Come to think of it, I still don't sleep.
The funeral was the smallest I'd been to yet because there was hardly anyone left. I sat in the back of the church. I sat there and didn't move until it was dark.
I pace about in my kitchen, debating whether or not to drink my sorrows away until I couldn't remember (or I at least passed out) or to just end it all now.
They'd never forgive me if I killed myself and left Harry. But what does it matter? Harry doesn't know I exist. He can't. He should but he can't.
I pick up a glass, then set it back down and drink straight from the firewhisky bottle. I honestly don't give a shit. How am I supposed to?
My friends are dead.
My family is dead.
I'm as good as.
Thank you for reading and I would love some feedback on how to improve this.
-Valfish