Codename: Kids Next Door

Operation: B.U.L.L.I.E.S.

Big

Ugly

Losers

Love

Irritating

Elementary

Students

A/N:All of the original names that I use are just letters that have been rearranged from certain titles. See if you can figure out which names are rearrangements of which titles. Also note that most if not all misspellings are intentional. Now please enjoy.

The bell rang loudly for the start of afternoon recess and all the students from fourth to sixth grades streamed out of the cafeteria and onto the school playground. Kuki Sanban, also known as Numbah 3 of Sector V, skipped out the doors of the school towards the swing set carrying her favoritest orange Rainbow Monkey "Mr. Wobbly" with her. Mr. Wobbly was her favorite Rainbow Monkey because he reminded her of her bestest friend, Numbah 4. Kuki was an operative of the soopah secret agency called the Kids Next Door (KND). The KND was a global organization of elementary aged children dedicated to the protections of regular kids from the tyranny of adults and teenagers.

Afternoon recess was every kid's favorite part of the day. Morning and Final recess were okay but they didn't last long enough. Afternoon recess was the best because then you had plenty of time to really get into a game. Most of the boys would play kickball and the girls would play tag or truth-or-dare. Other kids would play in the sand box or on the monkey bars and jungle gym.

But Kuki loved the swings, swinging was her all time favoritest thing to do whether she was on the playground, or at the park, or in her room at the Sector V Treehouse. However, what Kuki loved most about the swings on the school playground was that they where setup right next to the kickball field and that meant that Kuki had a perfect view of the boys playing kickball. Why would a ten-year-old little girl want to watch a bunch of smelly boys play kickball, you ask? Two words: Wallabee Beetles; also known as Numbah 4 or Wally as he liked to be called outside of the KND.

Kuki had a great-big crush on Wally; she'd liked him since she had met him three years ago when they were recruited into the KND. Not that he would ever notice though, Wally didn't like girls much, he was to busy being a boy…or so everyone else thought. Everyone knew Kuki had a crush on Wally but nobody knew that Wally returned that crush, some kids suspected like Numbahs 2 and 5 but nobody actually believed it. But one thing that nobody knew or even suspected was that Wally and Kuki were secretly "going out". They were "going out" in secret because Wally had a reputation to maintain and because neither of them wanted to be teased by the other kids, especially Numbahs 2 and 5.

What they did wasn't what you would call conventional dating even for their age. You couldn't really call them "boyfriend and girlfriend" or even "friends with benefits", they were simply "more than just friends". You could definitely call them best friends...or, well, THEY could call themselves best friends, but no one else would ever think it. Every one else thought of them as acquaintances or just barely-friends. Although, one of them always seemed to get roped into doing something they would never normally do in a kajillion years, and more often than not it was Wally.

Kuki made it to the swing set and sat down on her favorite swing facing the kickball field with Mr. Wobbly in her lap. The boys were in the middle of choosing teams and Wally was one of the team captains. Even though he was shorter than all the other boys, Wally was the bestest kickball player in the fourth grade, probably even the whole school. Kuki loved watching him play, he was a soopah playah whether he was kicking or pitching; and Wally was a really soopah pitchah. Kuki settled back to watch the game and began to sway slowly back and forth on her swing.

The boys had finished picking teams and where ready to start the game. Wally's team was kicking first and Wally was kicking clean-up, which is the fourth place in the kicking order, how fitting for him. The first kicker was Nigel Uno, also known as Numbah 1 (the leader of Sector V); Nigel kicked a standing double on the first pitch and raised his arms in mock victory. Wilson Woodrow was next but only kicked a single; Numbah 1 couldn't run to third base because the ball was to close. Next was Ted Hik, better known as just The Kid, he kicked a single and Numbah 1 ran to third base, while Wilson ran to second. Finally Wally was up to kick and the bases were loaded. Kuki hugged Mr. Wobbly to her chest tightly, she was really exited, she just knew Wally was going to kick a homerun; it was the perfect situation for it.

Gifferd Rath, a fifth grader, pitched the ball and Wally reared his right leg back. As the ball rolled to just in front of his left foot he kicked and the ball sailed over the back fence and into the parking lot. He did it, he kicked a homerun. Kuki was so happy she squealed and did a happy dance with Mr. Wobbly. Just then a shadow descended over Kuki and Mr. Wobbly disappeared from her hands, making her stop in the middle of twirling and look up. What she saw made her gulp in anxiety.

The meanest, toughest sixth grade gang in the whole school was standing right behind her and one of them was dangling Mr. Wobbly above her head from his arm. They called themselves the Nailbitahs and they hated little kids, especially girly-girls like Kuki. Rex Digshart was the leader of the gang and with his cousin Sid Thraxer they held the all time record for the most detentions and suspension ever receive. The other three Dexter Gardish, Garth Sidrex, Garret Dhixs and Thad Grixser weren't far behind. Rex and Sid once got suspended and almost expelled for scaring a fourth grade girl so badly she peed her pants every night for a month.

"My gramps told me 'n' the boyz stories over the weekend all about you dirty Japs and wut you did to us real Americanz during World War Two, and me 'n' the boyz have decided that we don't want no dirty Japs hangin' 'round our town." Rex says quietly with a wolfish smile while the others surround her. Kuki was in real-big trouble.

Wally knew she was watching him as he picked his teammates for the kickball game. She always did, at every recess since the first grade. She would sit there on her favorite swing and hug her favorite stoopid orange Rainbow Dorkey; it used to be green but ever since they came back from Christmas break of first grade it was orange. He didn't know why he remembered something so stooped or why he thought her orange Rainbow Dorkey was the same color as his favorite orange hoodie, but he tried not to think about it too much. Another thing he couldn't figure out was why he tried harder and played better when he knew she was watching. What really bothered him about it was that he liked it.

He had worn the same color orange hoodie every day for the past three years since after Christmas break of first grade, just in a slightly larger size each year. How did he accomplish this you ask? Well is wasn't that he didn't ever wash his hoodie, it was that he had begged his parents to buy ten pairs of the exact same color and type of hoodie every time they went to buy his school close. And strangely enough, they did it no-questions-asked. It was like they knew, it was kinda scary.

Of course Wally knew he like-liked Kuki, he had since they meet as recruits for the KND, it was just that he had a reputation to keep and was afraid to even think about her that way when they weren't alone. That's why he always made fun of her and her Rainbow Monkeys—DORKEYS… Wally quickly glanced around to make sure know one was reading his thoughts. He also know that Kuki knew all this and understood and that she really didn't mind. Besides, Kuki liked to keep them a secret she thought it was more fun that way.

They had finished picking teams and began the game, Numbah 1 was first and got a double. Then came Wilson who just barely got a single. (Stoopid, cruddy wuss, thought Wally.) Then he watched The Kid (Stoopid, cruddy Dumb Kid he was such a Figjam.) kick a single and move Numbah 1 and Wilson up a base. Finally it was his turn to kick and he had a feeling it was gonna be a good one. He watched Gifferd pitch the ball and it was the perfect setup, Wally reared back his leg and let loose with all his might. He kicked the ball so hard it went over the fence….homerun! Wally skip-ran all the way to first base then jogged the rest of the way around. The score was 4 to zip in the first inning. His teammates were in the middle of cheering for him when he landed on home plate and swept him up into the celebration.

Wally was in the middle of a high-fiving all his teammates when he heard a very familiar scream; he immediately stopped what he was doing and whipped around just in time to see Kuki get pushed into the dirt by a gang of stoopid sixth gradahs. It looked like two of them where holding her down while the other three threw her favorite Rainbow Monkey back and forth between them.

Wally saw red and clenched his fists and teeth. He could see tears begin to form in her big blue-gray eyes as she clutched her right hand to her chest. She must have skid it when those stoopid bounces pushed her down. 'Those hoons thin' theh kin mess wit' me goirl an' get away wit' it, Oim gonna kick thehr butts.' Wally seethed as he stomped over towards the swings.

Wally's teammates were very confused when he stopped celebrating and whipped around to look towards the swings; but when they saw what he was looking at they backed away from him as fast as they could to escape his seething rage. They could all feel it coming off him in waves. Wally was always terrifying when he was angry about something happening to Kuki; although very few people could figure out why.

Kuki look up behind the sixth graders to see a furious Wally striding toward them. Seeing Wally coming to help made her feel better and not so scared. "Wally! Help me, dhey took Mistah Wobbly fwom me. Dhey'we gonna huwt him."

Hearing this, the gang of sixth graders turned to look behind them to see if the crazy Aussie was really there, when they realize he was they were both scared and confused. Everybody, especially bullies, were afraid to mess with Wallabee Beetles or anyone associated with him. Nobody was tougher or meaner than Beetles, everybody knew that. Beetles loved to fight and hated girly-girls, everybody knew that too. And they were just having some fun with a scrawny little girly-girl, so why should Beetles care. But what they didn't know was that according to Wallabee Beetles, Kuki Sanban belonged to him; and seeing the look in Beetles eyes as he bore down on them made them all shrink back in fright.

Wally was only a few feet away when he heard Kuki call out to him, which caused something even fiercer than before to well up inside him and he heard himself shout out, with such incredible rage, for everyone on the playground to hear, "OY YAH DILL BOUNCES! GIT YER CRUDDY MITS OFE ME GOIRL!" At the sound of this every single person on the playground immediately stopped what they were doing and look over at Wally in complete and utter astonishment. Nigel Uno and Hoagie Gilligan (also known as Numbah 2) fainted from utter shock and The Kid fell to his knees in despair, he knew he had no change with Sanban now that Beetles clamed her. Abby Lincoln, also known as Numbah 5 (second-in-command of Sector V), just shook her head in bemusement and smirked, she knew something like this would happen eventually, she was just glad she was there to witness it.

At that proclamation the gang of sixth graders promptly peed their pants. And with that Wally was on them. He decked the first sixth grader he could reach and knocked him out cold. The second he kneed in the stomach then knife-edge chopped him in the back of the neck, dropping him in seconds. The third had his feet swept out from underneath him and then heel-kicked in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. The fourth got head butted in the face, breaking his nose and making him pass out. The fifth just keeled over from terror. The sixth ran away crying for his mommy. All this happened in the blink of an eye. In fact it happened so quickly that by the time Wally jumped back onto his feet and looked about him to make sure all the sixth graders had been dealt with, all that was left was a cloud of dust. Seeing that they were all taken care of he relaxed.

Wally looked down to see Kuki shaking with her face buried in her hands. Confused Wally crouched down beside her and put his left arm around her shoulders. "Hey Numbah Three woit's wrong? Yah weren't hoirt that bad were yah?" he asked, concern dripping from his voice. She didn't answer, but rather just continued to tremble. "Numbah Three…? Kuki…? Kooks…?" Wally asked each time shaking her slightly. Still she didn't answer and Wally was becoming very worried. "Hey c'moin Kooks, it's ok, thoze stoopid six' gradahs are goine now an' yer safe. An'…" Wally cut himself off for a moment and cast around looking for that stoopid Rainbow Dorkey of hers. There it was, right next to the bounce he'd decked. He reach over and snagged it without letting Kuki go and held it out in front of her so she could reach out and take it. "…An' see, yah fav'rit Rainbow Monkey is jus' foin; safe and soun'. I saved 'im just b'fore they could do anythin' to it…see?" he said turning it from side to side in front of her head trying to get her to look up.

Still nothing, Wally was getting desperate now and decided to pull out the big guns. Wally took a quick glance around him to see if anyone was within hearing range. He could see Numbahs 1, 2 and 5 standing around him and Kuki with their backs to him but not close enough to hear if he whispered. So he scooted closer to Kuki and got his lips right next to her ear and murmured as sweetly as he could, "Hey now, c'mon Kookybird, woits wrong? Why woint yah talk tah meh? Oi know yah an' yah doint scare that easy. Oi know yer not that hoirt eithah, an' yer Rainbow Monkey is ok too. So c'moin, tell yer Wallybear woits wrong with 'is Kookybird."

Like he had spoken a magic word, Kuki looked up and snuffled, her eyes and nose were red and puffy and she look like a kicked puppy. Kuki look into Wally's eyes for a second then rested her head on his shoulder and said very softly, "It's not dhat Wallybear, I wasn't huwt dhat bad just a scrap on my hand; and I know you saved Mistah Wobbly from dhoze mean six' gwadahs; and yer wight, I wasn't dhat scawed of dhoze mean six' gwadahs eithah..." Kuki pauses there for a minute to gather her thoughts.

But she takes to long for Wally's taste and he prompts her to continue; "Well if it wusn't all thoze things then woit wus it?"

Kuki looks up into his eyes again and says very quietly, almost so quiet he can't hear her. "It was you Wally. I'd nevah seen you fight like dhat befowe. You took dhose fouw six' gwadahs down befowe I could blink. And dhe look in yer eyes was weally scawy. I thought you were weally gonna huwt someone. Wut made you so mad Wallybear? I'm weally glad you came to help me but why were you so mad?"

Wally looked down at his sneakers and sighed. He had never meant to scare Kuki like that. He wasn't really sure what exactly had gotten him so angry but he knew the only times he had ever gotten that irate was when Kuki was in trouble. Wally laid his head on top of Kuki's and rubbed his left hand up and down her right arm a few times before replying; "Oim noet really shah woit made meh so mad Kooks; It's jus' when Oi saw woit they was doin tah yah Oi loist me mind. Oim sorry Oi scared yah Kooks. Fahgiv meh?"

Kuki raised her head up off Wally's shoulder and looked him in the eye again. "Of couwse I fowgive you Wally. You didn't do anything wong. I wasn't weally dhat scawed of you anyway, I was just shocked was all."

Wally perked up a little at that and stood, offering Kuki his hand he said, "Well in that case lets get outah here and go back tah dah Treehouse." Kuki took his hand and started to get up but as she put weight on her left foot she cried out and her leg gave out and she almost fell to the ground again. She would have fallen too if Wally hadn't caught her around the waist and held her up. "Oy woits this? Woits wrong with yer foot?"

Kuki looked down at her left foot a second then said, "I think I spwanged my ankle when dhoze mean six' gradahs pushed me down."

Wally thought that over for a second then replied, "Oh Oi see, well in that case…" he trailed off as he moved his left arm to her lower back then swept his right arm under her knees and lifted her up. Kuki was so surprised that she wrapped her arms around Wally's neck for balance and looked at him in shock.

"Wally awe you cwazy put me down, yer gonna huwt yerself." Kuki exclaimed with wide eye. She didn't know Wally was that strong and she couldn't believe he was able to pick her up; she was a head taller that he was.

"No worries Kooks, Oim foin yah barely weigh a thing." Wally said as he started walk home to the Treehouse.

Kuki just smiled brightly, finally back to her old self. She moved her left hand to Wally's jaw, lifted his head a bit and quickly kissed him right on the lips. Wally was so shocked he stumbled a bit but regained him balance fast, stopped walking and looked at Kuki as if she had sprouted a second head. "Oi woit wus that for?!" Wally exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Dhat was a thank-you-kiss for my brave, strong Wallybear!" Kuki exclaimed cheerfully while tightening her arms around his neck and pressing her check to his.

Wally thought that over for a second, shrugged and then did the most shocking thing he had ever done in his short life. Wallabee Beetles moved his left hand up to the left side of Kuki Sanban face, tilted her head up and towards him and kissed her right back on the lips.

Nearly everyone watching them keeled over in shock, others just stood slack-jawed but a few simply smirked thinking it was about time.

A/N: This story came to me in a dream almost word for word. It is the first story I've written since my mom died a little over a year ago.

Slang Translations:

Jap—used by American soldiers during WWII for someone from Japan

Figjam—(Australian) "Fck I'm good, just ask me." Someone who has a high opinion of themselves.

Bounce—(Australian) bully

Hoon—(Australian) hooligan

Aussie—someone from Australia

Dill—(Australian) idiot

Name/Tital Rearrangments:

Gifferd Rath—Fifth Grader

Rex Digshart, Sid Thraxer, Dexter Gardish, Garth Sidrex, Thad Grixser & Garret Dhixs—Sixth Grader (In a couple names some letters are added or subtracted)

Ted Hik—The Kid