Note: This is my first fanfic, so I am a little nervous. Any reviews will be greatly appreciated! Thanks to SabreDae for giving me the push I needed to get this done. This is going to be my take on what would happen if Beckett didn't go back to the precinct. Maybe she will at some point…you'll have to read to find out!
Sadly I do not own Castle, I only wish I did.
Chapter 1.
A stunned Beckett closed the door to the loft. Castle stood there, waiting to see her reaction to McCord's rapid departure. He saw the tears threatening to escape and he crossed the room quickly, pulling her into her arms.
"You just got us an apartment…" she began, looking up into his blue eyes, her own filled with apology.
"Kate…" his Kate, so concerned that he had just bought them a new place, not even thinking about the fact that she had just moments ago been fired by the Attorney General's office. "Do you think that bothers me? We can sublet, we can sell it, whatever you want to do. That doesn't matter to me," he looked down at her, and she pressed her forehead to his chest and sighed.
"I knew I wouldn't get away with it. I guess subconsciously I knew what would happen. I've just…" she paused. "I've never been fired from anything before. I didn't think it would feel like this."
His eyes searched her face, trying to see what she was thinking. "Feel like what?"
"Relief," tears spilled out of her eyes and down her face. "I thought I would feel sad or upset, but honestly Rick, I just feel relieved."
He took her hand and led her over to the couch, where she sat crisscrossing her legs in front of her before pulling him down next to her.
"This job," she began. "I thought it was what I wanted. But if it has shown me anything, anything at all, it's shown me how much I love you and don't want to be away from you."
"Kate," he started, and was quickly silenced.
"No, babe, let me finish. Please. When we had to deal with that toxin, I was so worried I was going to lose you. It would have been my fault. I chose the job that put you in that position."
At this Castle grabbed her shoulders to turn her to face him. "Listen to me. That wasn't your fault. I put my nose where it didn't belong. I came to see you. I didn't give you that picture back. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your job's fault. It was mine." His eyes were pleading with hers to believe him, trying to will her to release the blame he knew she had been shouldering since he was infected.
"Part of me wanted you to interfere though. I wanted it to be like it was at the 12th. I missed having you there with me looking for the story. Maybe it wasn't my fault you were infected, but it is my fault I didn't know what I had all along. If you would have died," she broke again here, and he saw how much she had been holding back all along. Castle pulled her to him and let her cry herself dry. "I would have never been able to forgive myself," she managed to get out before leaning on him again.
"But I didn't die. You saved me. You. Those agents wouldn't have been able to do it without you. Do you realize how extraordinary you are, Kate? That's a silly question I know. That's simply because you have no idea."
Kate looked at her knees, trying to figure out how to say what she was thinking.
"I don't feel extraordinary. If I was I wouldn't have just been fired."
"Weren't you the one who just told me she was relieved she was fired? You are the one who stood up for the victims and saw that an innocent life was spared. You, Kate, not those people in the FBI. You value life. You saw what they were doing was wrong and you fixed it. And for that I could not be more proud of you. I love you, Katherine Houghton Beckett, and I am honored to call you my fiancé." With that statement, Castle pulled her into his lap and kissed her lightly on her shoulder. He felt her relax into him, pulling his arms around her and taking a deep breath.
"I love you too. But now we have more things to figure out. You didn't really count on an unemployed fiancé, did you?" She half laughed at this statement. Katherine Beckett, unemployed. Who would have thought?
"Well, Ms. Beckett," Castle began with a glint in his eye, slowly moving his hands under her sweater. "I think there's one thing we can work on right now," he pulled her onto him and gave her a long, slow, sensuous kiss.
"Why, Mr. Castle, are you trying to seduce me?" she asked him, smiling when he answered her with another kiss.
Several hours later, they found themselves in their bedroom, completely exhausted, and extremely happy with themselves. Kate rolled herself onto her side and looked at her fiancé. "I told you my favorite position was in person," she winked.
He laughed then, relieved to see how well she was taking this whole situation. He certainly wasn't going to admit it to her, but he had initially been worried this was going to crush her.
Realizing her fiancé was lost in his thoughts she asked, "Penny for your thoughts?" She peppered his face with kisses.
He smiled at her then. "I was just wondering how long I could convince you to stay in bed."
"Well, seeing how I don't have to go to work in the morning, I'd say you could probably keep me here for awhile." He grinned mischievously. "But first there are some things I want to figure out. We need to plan what to do with the D.C. apartment, what we are going to about moving my things here, and if I'm not mistaken, I believe we have a wedding to plan!"
"You're not wasting any time!" he exclaimed, laughing at this enthusiasm that has come over her. "Let's see. The D.C. apartment should be easy to take care of. Do you want to keep it as an investment or should we sell it?"
"It's up to you Castle," she told him. "You bought it."
"Remember not even two minutes ago when you said we have a wedding to plan? That means you are going to be my wife, which means you help me with these decisions."
"Like you had me help with the decision to buy the apartment?" she teased, poking him in the stomach.
"Touché Beckett, touché." He laughed. "That was supposed to be a surprise, to make you happier."
"And it did. It makes me so unbelievably happy that you thought to do that, and completely caught me off guard. For a minute there I thought you were going to break off the engagement…" she trailed off there, and felt him staring at her.
"Kate," he tipped her head up to look him in the eyes. "What have I told you? We are going to work this out. Always. I'm never going to leave you, you should know that by now."
"I know, but it worried me for a second. Ok." She wanted to move past this moment. "How about we sell the apartment? If that's ok. I don't really want it around as a reminder of the bad decision I made. Maybe then we can put some of my stuff in storage, at least until things are figured out here."
"I think that sounds perfect. I'm not quite sure how long Pi will be with us, but I'm hoping it isn't long. Anyways, Alexis will be back off to school soon, and things will get a little quieter around here."
Kate couldn't help but laugh. Whenever Castle mentioned Pi, he got this look on his face, it was just too cute. "I dunno Castle, I kinda like Pi…" her mouth curved into a wide grin at the look of astonishment on his face. "Kidding! I'm sure Alexis will come to her senses soon. But in the meantime…why don't you forget about Pi and concentrate on something else." She kissed him, and she knew if she were to mention Pi again the response would be, "Pi, who?"
They broke apart long enough for him to ask, "I thought you wanted to talk about the wedding?"
"Tomorrow is soon enough, Castle. I just want to focus on us right now, that ok?"
The low moan that escaped from him would have been answer enough, but his soft murmur of, "always" in her ear had the warmth spreading fast through her body. She was glad the loft was empty. She wanted to celebrate life and the thought of their always. Everything else could wait until morning.