Disclaimer: I don't own the 100 or any of it's wonderful characters.
A:N/ This is set completely outside of the cannon realm. It's just something I've literally been writing on receipts at work! My friends read over it but it's not been edited, so please excuse any glaring mistakes. And I hope you enjoy it.
Chapter One
It's just getting dark out and they're all relaxing in the living room, like usual when O speaks up out of nowhere. "Bell was a real piece of work," O says smiling fondly. Clarke doesn't catch the word was and her eyes slide just to the left of her friend and lock onto Bellamy's. She assumes O is mentioning him being annoying because of his obnoxious, but cute, habit of nitpicking every inaccuracy in the historical movies that they watch. Tonight it's something or other about Troy and while Clarke doesn't really care about it, she loves watching her friends obsess over it.
"I bet so, " she says smirking, he's been a big pain in her butt since she moved in, moving all her things around like she wouldn't notice. The smirk he sends her way in return lacks it's usual spark and she tilts her head to the side wondering why. He may be a pain, but he's a pain she actually happens to like. And that look on his face doesn't sit well with her for some reason.
Octavia leaves the room shortly after, a matching frown on her face and what looks like tears trailing down her face. "Oh jesus Bellamy what did I do? Can she tell this isn't something I'm super into?" Clarke asks as she watches her friends retreating back. She can't stand to see her sad either, these are her people, the only ones who matter, the only ones who accept her as she is.
"I promise you didn't do anything wrong Princess…she doesn't mind if you're not super into it..." his voice is strained, more strained than she thinks she's ever heard it. "Can we go watch tv in your room please?" The raw emotion in his voice is enough to get her to cave without asking any more questions. She's known that something weird has been going on with her friends, but she never manages to get a straight answer from either one of them...and his right here is why. If either one of them start acting sad and ask her to do something she's all over it immediately. But most especially if it happens to be Bellamy that's being sad.
"Okay…" she stands and drags the blanket she's grown quite attached to since moving in with her. "I'm not giving this blanket up though so don't get any ideas…" Bellamy chuckles behind her and it's like balm to her soul. It helps her feel just a tad better about things...but not entirely.
And despite her fussing about sharing the blanket she does just that when Bellamy crawls into her bed with her. And when he presses his cold face into her stomach she doesn't say a word about it, she needs the comfort just as much as he does.
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"Why don't you ever hang out with anyone else?" Octavia asks only a few days after what Clarke's dubbed the troy incident. "Not that I don't love hanging out with you of course…"
Clarke frowns and wonders what she means...is she trying to imply that Bellamy doesn't really like hanging out with her? He sure cuddles in the bed with her enough for her to think Octavia would be insane to suggest such a thing.
"Hanging out with you is plenty for me…" Clarke mumbles, she's looking toward her room where she left Bellamy as she says it. He's Plenty for her too.
"You don't ever get lonely when I'm out with Lincoln or Raven?" Octavia asks, pressing the issue for a reason Clarke can't even begin to fathom.
"No...I never have a chance to be lonely," she says. And she means it.
"Okay...I'm just checking on you Clarke you've been stuck in your room lately and I've been worried is all…" she pulls her in for a hug so warm it shocks her a bit, it's the exact opposite of Bellamy's hugs. She's grown so accustomed to the cold that seeps from him that Octavia is like an inferno and she almost shoves her away. Thankfully she lets go shortly after.
"Alright...if you're fine I'm going to stay with Lincoln...it's our anniversary today and I need something to cheer me up after all the mess my brain's been through this week over Bell…" O glances down at her clenched hands. "I love him, but I can't be in here right now...okay?"
Clarke frowns but nods her head to show that she gets it, even if she doesn't. She doesn't get what issues they have...they don't speak much in front of her...or any actually, but she just figured that they like to talk in private, aren't some families like that? "Have fun O, and tell Lincoln I said Hi…"
"Will do...don't spend too much time alone while I'm gone…"
"I won't," she says once more talking to her friends retreating back, it's becoming a recurring theme as of late. She turns and walks back to her room frowning. What in the world can she do to fix whatever's going on with her friends? These two obviously mean the world to one another...but they don't communicate and after a few months getting to know the pair of them it's breaking her heart to pieces. They deserve to be okay.
"Bellamy how can I help fix things with Octavia?" she asks, going with a direct approach. "Did I do something to make things like this? Am I in the way here? Do I need to move out?" She's close to tears as she stares into his face searching for an answer to any of the questions she has.
Her lower lip trembles and the tears she desperately wants to keep in fall anyway. "Oh Princess no, please don't cry," Bellamy's voice breaks and he holds his arms out for her. "Please come here…" He sounds desperate to have her in his arms. And truthfully he is. He can't actually tell her what's going on, he wants to, but each time he tries the explanation catches in his throat.
He's tried for weeks to open up to Clarke and each time he tries he fails, he's so angry at himself for not being strong enough to get the words out. He never thought he'd want to tell her when she first moved in their place. He thought she was stuck up, hence the name princess, then she quickly proved him wrong by caring about him and his sister.
He was so focused on not liking her at first that it took him a bit to realize that she could see him...she'd marched right up to him after Octavia had left for work one morning and asked him what his problem was and demanded that he at least stop ignoring her.
She fits in his arms so nicely that he wonders why they haven't sat quite like this before. If she wasn't sniffling still he could almost ignore the issues that were facing them. "Bellamy...you didn't answer me, if I leave will she start talking to you again?"
"Don't think like that please," he mumbles. "You moving out wouldn't make things any different than they are now princess...O is likely to never be able to talk to me again…"
"But she loves you...surely she can't stand not talking to you?" her face scrunches and tears threaten to spill from her eyes again, truthfully after knowing him she can't imagine never talking to him again, that'd be one of the worst feelings ever she imagines.
"Oh princess...I don't even know how to explain things to you…"
"Bellamy you can tell me anything," and she means it more than she's meant much of anything in a long time. He stirs something deeper than concern inside of her and she thinks she could even admit it to him if they could both just open up...even if she moved out, she'd be more than willing to come and visit...they could still be close like they've gotten over the last few weeks.
"I don't know how to explain...I'm not just saying that princess. What I do know won't make any sense to you...you are literally the only person who's really seen or talked to me in so long. You've been such a miracle to me princess...even when we've been at each other's throats."
"It's all been teasing after the first week or so when we've fussed, you've been a miracle to me too Bell...you just don't realize how much…" It's the first time the nicknames ever left her lips...and it just feels so right.
From the way his frown pulls up at the corners, she thinks he might just feel the same way.
"Maybe I can try to guess what's wrong?" She only suggests doing things this way because she's desperate to be able to fix things, and he really seems like he's struggling to get any kind of explanation out...she doesn't want to make things harder on him.
Bellamy looks so broken- and when she thinks about it O hasn't been looking too happy herself. "I- you can try princess. But I really don't think you'll come close to guessing what's going on. I don't even have all the answers…" he frowns but resolves himself to further questions. He doesn't blame her for wanting to figure things out. Maybe he can find it in himself to really explain after she guesses some and he attempts to work up some nerve. He wants to let her in as much as he can given his circumstances. And maybe if he can open up to her she can tell him why he still feels so alive when everyone says he's dead.