He's a dead man standing
I know it
He knows it
The guns know it
His breast is heaving an ocean
He breathes heavily, his nostrils flaring
It might be the drink
Or God's painting touch
Because he glows
I can see his wings unfurling behind him
Every feather silver
As silver as the muzzles of the guns
Pointed at his head
His curls are a golden halo
And I know mine are black and dead
I see
Everything I love slipping away
Through my fingers
Like a million grains of sand
He looks at me, eyes disbelieving
He is the skeptic now
And I the believer
As his blue, golden eyes meet mine
I believe in a God, a heaven
I believe in his cause, in him
He will not ask me, he never begs
But I can see the anger in his eyes
Why didn't you fight?
Why did you drink?
Why are you not dead?
Why will you live, of us all?
Fool
My heart breaks in a long, thin line
The two pieces fall into my lungs and I cannot breath
I can barely see
But I can see his wings
His burden
And I hope he can see my pain
I did run
I am a coward, I know
My heart is everywhere, in my eyes
Splattered on my sleeve, tangled in his hair
I can hear the beat of his heart
The beat of those silver wings
It matches my breaths
The wood floor between us is an ocean
Salt, barren, empty
Impossible
But I step to him
A red cloth is curled in his fingers
A shade brighter than the rust of blood
His fist is white to contrast the deep crimson
I wish for my hand to be there
Comforting him
Instead of his empty cause
If I cannot die his love
I will content to die his friend
Another step
Coward, who ran away
Another step
Drunken fool who will die alone
No
I refuse
If I cannot grow old with him
I will die for him
With him
I cross the wood ocean and turn to face the fire
His eyes turn to mine
And for the first time I am scared
In his eyes is fear
The resignation to a death he does not want to meet
My heart breaks again
Into four pieces
The shards carpeting my lungs
There is so much I want to say to him;
Make peace with your demons
Or gods cannot die
Or your wings will save you
Or fear is not lack of courage
Or
I love you
I've always loved you
I will always love you
But I am too afraid
Even now, he may reject me
Even now, he may not want me
My voice catches in my throat-choking me
My heart is cutting into my lungs
All I can muster-my last courage;
Do you permit it?
So much in those four words
May I have the honour of dying at your side
Am I still a fool for loving you?
Shall we take this journey together?
And the hopeless question-
Do you love me?
And in those blue eyes
Something flickers, some light
His old fire, his old fight
the man I feel in love with
His hand reaches out and takes mine
It is hot, his palm on fire
While mine are so cold and scared
We have always contrasted
But our hands are linked
And now-our futures
He smiles
The beautiful idiot smiles
No words
They are not needed, they are lost
We are fire and ice
Black and gold
Doomed to be apart
But over his head, I catch a silver movement
Not his wings
But my own
Stunted, unsure
But there
And a spark ignites inside me
We can do this together
I will follow him
Meet him in heaven
Never leave him
And then the guns go off
A fire-their fire-hits me
My heart, once clamped inside my lungs
Is now painting the walls
Covering his face
A sudden pain kisses me then I am gone
My silver wings infused with my soul
With my king
The king of hearts
King of my heart