Well, here we go. I dive headlong into the world of sporadically updated fanfic. As you may have noticed, this is my first fic ever, so it may not be up to snuff. I know there's work out there better than mine, in fact I read it all the time, but don't be too harsh if you can help it. Anyway, enjoy (if at all possible). It's probably horribly cliched, but whatever.
Katara didn't usually concern herself with political matters. They were usually left to Aang, Zuko, Hakoda and a host of diplomats from Ba Sing Se and the rest of the world. It's not really any of my business, she reasoned. But upon discovering that the next set of meetings being held at the Earth Kingdom capital could possibly secure lucrative trade and travel routes for the Southern Water Tribe, she took it upon herself to make it her business and, using her sway as the Avatar's girlfriend, sat in on the meetings.
Two years after the end of the war, the Southern Water Tribe was making progress with efforts to rebuild and was, considering the circumstances, doing well. On top of this, under Master Pakku's guidance, a small group of waterbenders from the Northern Water Tribe had assisted with the construction and it thrilled Katara to no end that she was no longer the last waterbender in the South. When she had visited she was amazed by the progress that had been made in such a short amount of time, and it always pleased her when she was reminded of just how well the water tribes could adapt to circumstance. Their progress was beginning to slow, however, due to a lack of resources, and things would almost certainly get worse come winter, without the assistance the trade route would offer. Hakoda and Sokka had been sure that this new route would allow them to make good use of goods from the prosperous Fire Nation colonies and would carry them, almost comfortably, through the harsh winter.
The meeting appeared to be going amicably. The route proposed by Chief Hakoda (worked out pre-meeting by none other than Sokka) was to pass through the southern Earth Kingdom, and up into the Foggy Swamp, as an attempt to allow the Southern Water Tribe some contact with their "lost kin". The route would then continue up the west coast to allow some trade with the Fire Nation colonies (which were still being hotly contested by Zuko and Kuei). For the most part, the world leaders in the room had seemed content with the plan. When Katara had asked her friends about it, they seemed to think that it was a grand idea, the reasoning being that the Foggy Swamp Tribe should be given the chance to interact with the rest of the world, should they want to. They all new, however, that the primary motivation was to secure large amounts of resources for the Southern Water Tribe. The only person she hadn't spoken to about it was Aang himself, as he had been in and out of meetings all week and was rarely awake enough to spend extended periods of time with, so she hadn't bothered to waste his time with yet more political talk. She was quietly confident, however, that the Avatar's clout in world affairs would be enough to clinch the deal once and for all.
The only problem was a group of dissenters in the form of southern Earth Kingdom diplomats, who argued that the route would disrupt their own trade routes, and upset the transportation of goods to their own villages. The route had been designed to be as unobtrusive as possible, but it was inevitable that it would "get in the way", as one politician had put it. Katara and Sokka had been almost certain that, after the officials understood the extent of the damage that the Southern Tribes had sustained, they would change their mind. Fire Lord Zuko supported the idea, and the Earth King had said that he would agree to the route if the Avatar did. After several hours of huffing and puffing from both sides, it was decided that a decision had to be made, and once again all eyes fell on Aang to cast the deciding vote. The young airbender stood, and Katara shot him a meaningful glance. He appeared to smile at first, but she noticed that his eyes appeared sad, guilty almost. When he swallowed to speak, he visibly shook.
"On my travels, I have visited many places that have seen significant amounts of damage caused to them by the Fire Nation," Zuko fidgeted nervously. "Of the victims of the war, few have seen the devastation that was heroically endured by the members of the Southern Water Tribe. Cut off from their sister tribe, they had their waterbenders cruelly stolen from them, until there was only one remaining." Aang directed another sorrowful glance towards Katara before continuing.
"The people of the Southern Water Tribe are some of the hardiest in the world, and I am proud to count several of their people amongst my greatest friends. They have certainly suffered enough. However, I cannot agree to the creation of this trade route. The disruption to the lives of the people of the southern Earth Kingdom would be too great. They too have suffered under the Fire Nation, and they too require resources. Resources which they would not receive if this route were established. I extend my deepest apologies to Chief Hakoda and his people, but I will not agree to their proposition."
Aang sat down again, leaving the room in stunned silence, though everyone for different reasons. The diplomats from the Earth Kingdom, as well as Fire Lord Zuko, had fully expected him to practically force the creation of the route, considering his personal involvement with members of the tribe. Conversely, the representatives of the Southern Water Tribe were absolutely shocked at the Avatar's decision. None more so than Katara. She had held high hopes for the deal, and the blow Aang struck to her with his denial of the route's creation was far more significant than she ever expected. Aang saw the crushed look on her face and had to turn away. She probably thinks I'm a traitor, he thought. He grimaced at the very idea, but at that meeting he couldn't afford to be Aang. He had to be the Avatar.
The first to collect their thoughts was the Earth King's assistant.
"Needless to say, his Royal Highness will also refuse the terms of the agreement," he started. "Does the leader of the Southern Water Tribe have anything to add?"
Chief Hakoda let out a long, disappointed sigh. He stood and looked straight at the young airbender across the room. Aang could feel the man's eyes on him.
"We regret that this is the decision that has been reached. We believed, perhaps, that after enduring such great hardship for over a century that we would be granted some sort of reprieve, especially considering the direct participation of our people in the defeat of Fire Lord Ozai. However, it seems that the Avatar does not agree that we should be granted such assistance. We will not press the issue further. Thank you for your time and consideration."
Hakoda's words hit harder than he might have known, and Aang was fighting back tears right in the middle of the Earth King's palace. He had heard the ice in Hakoda's voice, and just wanted to get out. Out of his presence and out of that meeting. Aang desperately wanted to help the Southern Water Tribe, but he couldn't just abandon the people of the Earth Kingdom.
"Then if there is no further business, this meeting is adjourned."
There was much subdued muttering as the politicians of the world left the hall, leaving the dejected Avatar to face the members of the tribe that he had just denied.
Hakoda shot him one last glare before standing to leave. He was followed by the rest of the delegation, and by his daughter.
"Katara!" Aang called after her, but she blatantly ignored him. "Katara, please!" he called again as he started off down the corridor after her.
"Katara, I'm sorry, but I couldn't just ignore the needs of the Earth Kingdom. Please, you have to believe me, this isn't what I wanted. Give me time, I'll renegotiate, please, let me fix this…"
She stopped walking for a brief moment, turning to face him. "Just forget about it, Aang." She said, her voice dangerously quiet.
"I'm sorry…" he started again, but she didn't stick around to hear it. As far as she was concerned, she had heard enough.
When the young airbender arrived at the Jasmine Dragon tea shop later that evening, the air became thick with tension. From outside he had heard laughter and joviality, and it was that which had given him the confidence to enter in the first place. Upon entering, however, he was fixed upon by six sets of eyes. But it was the two pairs of deep, ocean blue eyes that affected him most of all. After several tense seconds, it was Toph who decided to break the silence.
"Hey, Iroh, we got another one out here!"
"Does he want tea?" came the voice from the kitchen.
"You were gonna make it anyway right?"
"It's already made!" Iroh announced proudly as he entered, tray in hand. Toph and Suki managed laughs, even Mai smiled a little, but the silence from the other four was becoming disconcerting. Iroh handed out the tea before disappearing back into the kitchen.
Aang took a seat next to Toph, and the conversation slowly started up again. After a few minutes, however, it became all too obvious how awkward his arrival had made things, and Aang got up to leave. As he did so Toph grabbed his sleeve and pulled him down to whisper to him.
"Hey, listen, I heard about what you said. I know Sugar Queen might not like it but, if it means anything, I think you did the right thing." Toph gave Aang what she hoped was a reassuring smile.
Aang simply sighed. Admittedly, it did mean something, but he wasn't quite up to showing it just yet. "Thanks, Toph" was all he could manage.
"Don't think too much about it, okay?"
"Okay."
Aang found his way out to the balcony where he and Katara had shared their first proper kiss. He couldn't bear the memory, and he wondered whether he would ever get that opportunity again. He had had disagreements with Katara before, but he was afraid that going against her entire tribe would be the straw that broke the camel's back.
He was so caught up in his thoughts that he hardly noticed Iroh come walking up beside him.
"Zuko told me about the choice you had to make. I am sorry that it had to be made at all, and even more so that you were the one who had to make it."
Aang simply gazed at the horizon.
"I understand," Iroh continued, undeterred. "I think you made a very wise choice. There certainly would have been great dissention in the southern Earth Kingdom."
Aang remained silent.
"I know this political talk means nothing right now, but I want you to know that I would have made the same decision, and that I think that you are a very strong young man."
Aang sighed again. "Thank you, General Iroh"
"Please, Avatar Aang, just call me Iroh," he instructed.
Aang smiled, for the first time in hours.
"I hope I can be as wise as you when I grow up." Aang mused.
"Are you calling me old?" gasped Iroh, in mock-offense. He smiled to himself before continuing.
"Well, I hope that I can be as wise as you, Aang." Aang beamed again, before Iroh re-joined his friends. The brief talk with Iroh had put him in better spirits, though he knew it would only be temporary. After a few more minutes of quiet reflection, he skulked off to bed.
Aang awoke from a restless sleep to find that it was still the middle of the night. He sighed, for what felt like the millionth time that day, and rolled out of bed, put on his robes and ventured downstairs into the empty tea shop. He hadn't gotten far before a familiar voice in the darkness caught his attention.
"Couldn't sleep, huh?" asked Sokka, who Aang had now noticed was seated right next to where he had emerged from the bottom of the stairs.
"Me neither." He continued.
"Oh, hey Sokka, I guess I didn't see you there." Aang said, awkwardly. The two lapsed into an uneasy silence before Sokka broke it.
"Aang…" he said. "I want you to know that I'm not angry with you for turning down the trade route." The confession caught Aang off guard. He was certain that Sokka would be as upset as anyone.
"Oh, Sokka, I…" Aang started, but Sokka raised a hand for silence.
"Me and my dad had a talk about it earlier. I can't say that we're happy with the decision, but I understand why you made it. We decided that if we were from those Earth Kingdom villages then we wouldn't have been too thrilled by the proposal either. I guess I just expected the deal to go through because we're such good buddies. But sometimes I forget that you're the Avatar too, and you have to look out for everyone, not just your friends." He took a long breath, and Aang seized the opportunity.
"Sokka, I don't want you for a minute to think that I'm not looking out for you."
"I don't think that. When I look back, I actually feel like I respect you more for making the decision you did. I don't think that I could have made a tough call like that. Heh, and I'm supposed to be chief one day."
"This means a lot, Sokka. I was so worried that this would come between us." Admitted Aang, mournfully.
"Are you kidding, Aang? After what we've been through, Fire Lord Ozai couldn't come between us, let alone some political squabble." Sokka stood up and took his friend by the arm in the traditional water tribe greeting.
"I do have to warn you though, Katara is not happy about this. She doesn't know politics like you or my dad do, and I think she's taken it kinda personally." Aang winced at the thought.
"I'm sorry, again, Sokka. I wish things could have been different. Maybe if the Earth Kingdom had been a little more flexible I could've…"
"Aang stop. I've already forgiven you. Besides, I don't think it's me you need to apologise to."
Aang nodded as Sokka crept back upstairs, mindful that his friends were world famous for saving the world, not for being heavy sleepers.
Aang made his way out into the garden. The air was bracingly cold, but Aang was blissfully unaware. The moon shone brilliantly, and illuminated the space. It was remarkably quiet, although in the distance the night life of Ba Sing Se could quite clearly be heard. He was so lost in thought, again, that he almost didn't notice a certain water bender sitting on a nearby bench, facing away from him. Now's as good a time as any, he thought, and steeled himself for the conversation to come.
He walked up behind his friend and drew breath to speak, but she beat him to it.
"Go away," she mumbled weakly.
Aang stood frozen, wrestling with himself as to what he should do next. Every self-preservation instinct in him was screaming for him to turn and run, to salvage what dignity he had. But a small part of him knew that he couldn't leave things as they were, and so he decided that, for better or for worse, he would be the one to initiate the conversation.
"Katara, I…" he started. He was afraid that he would be unable to think of anything to say beyond that, but his fears were assuaged when she interrupted him.
"Go away," she said again, with conviction in her voice.
"Please, just listen to me…" he started up again. Again she interrupted.
"I said, go away!" she said slowly, her voice risen noticeably.
"I will, but I just need to talk to you." He stopped, and hoped that she would stop repeating herself. She didn't respond, so he took it as an indication that he was free to speak.
"I want to tell you that I'm sorry. I really wish that there was another way for this to work, but I can't just ignore the needs of the Earth Kingdom."
"Oh, right, but you're perfectly happy to ignore then needs of my people, huh?" she queried acidically. "You can make sure that the Earth Kingdom is warm and safe while the Southern Water Tribe freezes to death!" her voice was nearly a shout, and Aang could see her mentally pulling herself back.
"Katara…" his voice was full of hurt by now. "You know that isn't what I wanted, that's not why I did what I did…" he trailed off.
"I don't care, Aang. I've had enough excuses. Even my father tried to convince me that you were 'just being fair', or 'thinking about the big picture'" she mocked. "But I just don't care anymore. I don't want to hear it from my dad and I don't want to hear it from you!"
Aang simply stared at her, his hurt obvious, but this only served to aggravate her further.
"You just don't understand, Aang, you don't know what winter is down there. People could die, Aang, and you're doing nothing!"
"No one's going to die, Katara. If Sokka thought they would then he wouldn't have forgiven me, would he!?" he realised afterwards that he could have chosen his words better, but he was upset too, and she wouldn't even give him a chance.
"Oh, so that makes it all alright, does it? My brother forgives you, so I have to as well? He doesn't understand either! He doesn't know what it's like to be the last!" she was shouting now, and had left the bench to stand, facing him.
"I do," said Aang quietly. This threw Katara off guard and for a second, she almost felt like abandoning her tirade to forgive him. But the thought that he had gotten to her once again caused her anger to come surging back with full force.
Words flowed from her like a sickening volcano, a waterfall of anger until there was nothing more she could think of to say, no more words she could use to voice her hurt. It was the closest she had ever come to hating him, and she couldn't help but feel a little bit betrayed. For the most part, Aang stood there and took the brunt of her words heroically, with little to no reaction. He could understand her fears and wouldn't judge her for voicing her anger.
"I should have known that you would choke on the tough decisions, Aang!" she ranted. "You couldn't even kill Ozai!" These words caused Aang to flinch visibly.
"I thought you cared about me, Aang. I thought you loved me, but I guess that's another thing I don't know very much about!" At that he recoiled out of shame and averted his gaze.
For a brief moment, Katara felt relief. She had finally gotten off her chest all that had been scaring her for the past few days. She also felt proud, in a way, proud that she had been brave enough to tell Aang how she was feeling. For those few seconds she was content. Suddenly, her mouth released a string of words that she would regret for a very long time.
"As if you weren't content with letting your own people down, now you're letting mine down too!" she concluded, her voice piercingly loud, as angry as she had ever sounded.
The next sound from her mouth was a brief gasp. She couldn't believe what she had just said, and from the looks of it, neither could he. Suddenly, her rant returned to her in a flood of hatred. As she recalled her words, she was shocked at how horrible she had been to the one person who had never left her side, who had always supported her and had loved her with all his heart. Tears filled Katara's eyes, and she was filled with overwhelming regret.
Aang was stunned, to say the least. He felt like he was totally numb, and his legs almost gave way. He shuffled over to a nearby tree, placed a hand on it to steady himself and started crying like he had never cried before. He felt like he was going to be sick. Katara just stared at him. His strangled sobs were the only sound, as his body shook with grief.
After what felt like minutes she went over to try to touch him. She had shattered something in him that night, and she knew it. She placed a hand on his shoulder, in a desperate attempt to comfort him. She would have done anything to go back and stop herself, to have him back. When he didn't react to her touch, she put her arms around him in a fierce embrace, her own tears flowing freely now. For minutes they stood, their hearts in tatters.
Then, without warning, Aang stopped crying and stood rigidly up. The shock stopped Katara's tears in their tracks. She hoped it was a good sign, but the moment she peered to look tentatively into his eyes, she was pained once again. There was nothing there, no discernible emotion. He was just looking straight ahead. Suddenly, Katara found her arms empty. In one swift movement Aang was free and was walking back to the tea shop.
"No…" she whispered. "Aang, please come back, please." She pleaded with him to forgive her and to look at her. He stood perfectly still.
"Don't run away from me, Aang. Not again…" she said, her voice quivering with desperation.
Suddenly a huge gust of wind knocked her onto her back. She held on to the ground fearing that it would blow her clean away. When she was finally able to look up she saw Aang looming over her, his brow creased into a scowl, and his eyes and his tattoos glowing intensely. For the first time in her life, she was truly afraid of him. The sweet, caring boy that she had fallen in love with was now transformed into a terrifying image of anger and power. But she knew that she had no excuse to be afraid. After all, it was her that had forced him to lose control with her venomous accusations. She noticed from the corner of her eye that a group of her friends had gathered in the doorway. She could barely hear their voices above the wind.
"What did you do?!"
"Katara, get away from him!"
"Come, on Twinkle Toes, snap out of it!"
The voice of one-thousand Avatar's spoke, each one screaming at her with impossible rage.
"I thought I loved you too!"
The words tore Katara's heart, and she prayed that this wasn't the end of them, that he didn't mean that, that it was the pain talking, that they would have more time to be together, that she could fix things. She couldn't imagine life without him anymore.
Aang then clenched his fists and brought them to his centre, and she recognised it as an airbending stance. She had seen him practise it several times, and she thought it ironic that that would be what sprung to mind at such a moment. She put it down to being hopelessly in love with him, but now was obviously not the time for sentiment. Her whole body froze in fear as Aang thrust his fist forwards. She braced herself for impact, but when she opened her eyes, Aang was gone, and less than a second later Sokka collapsed on top of her. He had attempted to tackle Aang before he could strike, but Aang wasn't there to be tackled.
Her friends began frantically questioning her, helping her up, dusting her off, but her eyes were trained on the sky. Aang had launched himself tens of meters into the air and had flown off into the winding streets of Ba Sing Se. At once she was shaken, worried and, oddly, relieved. Relieved to know that he would never hurt her, and worried that she had thought that he might. Had things really changed that much?
What have I done? She thought, before her friends decided that her interrogation could wait until morning and ushered her off to bed.
Katara awoke the next morning, convinced that she had just had the most dreadful nightmare. She rose slowly, reasoning that she could take her time seeing as how she was no longer required to attend any meetings. She wondered if she should tell Aang about her nightmare, and wondered if he had noticed that she had been avoiding him. She groaned as realised that of course he noticed, how could he have missed it? She decided that she would swallow her pride, and go to him and apologise. She had hurt him enough, and she knew that she was overreacting. Aang had been right in the meeting, the Southern Water Tribe was hardy, after all, and they had seen worse and come through it.
However, as she went downstairs, she noticed that there was a tangible tension in the air. The tea shop was mysteriously quiet, and her friends seemed to have a hard time meeting her gaze. Only Sokka and Iroh managed a "Good morning."
"What's the matter guys?" she asked.
"You mean you don't remember?"
"Remember what?" she prodded. Her friends stayed silent.
"Come on guys, seriously, what happened?"
"You don't remember last night?"
It came back to her then. It wasn't a nightmare, it was cold, hard reality. Tears filled her eyes as she gasped in stunned realisation. She ran frantically around the tea shop, desperately calling the boy's name. Eventually she arrived back in the restaurant and began interrogating her friends as to Aang's whereabouts.
"We don't know, Katara," said Zuko, finally. "Appa's still here, but we haven't seen him since last night."
"What? Well, do you have any idea where he might be?!" she asked, eyes widened, madly.
"There's been no sign of him at all. I can't sense his vibrations anywhere, and I've been looking all morning." Toph added. Katara had heard enough.
Katara spent much of the rest of the day sulking in her room, tortured by her regret and desperately thinking of ways to make it up to Aang, to convince him to forgive her. She cried for hours, and though all of her friends had tried their hand at making her feel better, no one had been particularly successful, so for the most part they left her alone, taking her food to her and nothing more.
Aang finally walked into the tea shop late in the evening, and Katara had initially been thrilled that he had returned at all. She had heard him talking with her friends and almost ran down the staircase to see him. But when she reached the tea shop, she found that she was once again terrified. When he looked at her she could see nothing in his eyes. She almost broke down again, and for the rest of the evening he avoided her, not even bothering to conceal his efforts.
They went to their respective rooms without even a word. Katara was up half the night worrying about what she would say, what she could say, and what he might not. In the morning, however, her worrying was revealed to have been for naught. She walked outside to find that there was a suspicious lack of giant sky bison anywhere near the tea shop. Appa wasn't there.
But worse than that, Aang was gone, too. Her head fell into her hands and she sobbed hopelessly until she was half dragged back inside by her brother. She wondered if this was how Aang had felt when he lost Appa in the desert, having lost the most important thing in the world to him. She knew the feeling all too well already.
"Please, Aang. Come back. Please…" she whispered through her fingers before falling into bed. Needless to say, it was hardly a good night's sleep. For either of them.