Okay, I started this a few days ago. It was an idea floating around in my head and I just had to put it down on paper. Some of you may not like it, some of you may, I hope the majority of you do. Either way, there was no way I could've let this slip by.
It was meant to be a one-shot and I just kept adding more and more to it, so I decided to make it a multi-chapter instead. Maybe three chapters.
I hope you enjoy! I'll start working on part two really soon!
The Maternal Excitation
Setting the college Intro to Physics book back on her coffee table with a thud, Penny stretched her legs out across the couch. Closing her eyes, her head laid against the arm of the couch behind her and her own arms wrapped loosely around her waist. Her couch wasn't exactly the most comfortable place, but Penny couldn't be bothered to move at the moment. The entire morning she had been fighting the bouts of nausea that hit her, finding herself in the bathroom, bent over the toilet on more than one occasion. She had finally found a happy medium where the nausea hadn't quite disappeared, yet wasn't so overbearing.
Letting out a shaky breath, Penny opened her eyes slowly. She had already called off work for the afternoon and contemplated skipping her class that night. Her eyes glanced over and stared at the thick book sitting on the table in front of her, feeling guilty. She really didn't want to miss class again. She was actually enjoying school. It was the one thing in her life she quite proud of. This was the fourth class she had taken so far, along with her two History classes and a Psychology class. She had continued her studies the summer Leonard had been gone, knowing it would be a little bit of a distraction. She would have taken even more to keep her busy had her financial situation been slightly better.
Upon his return, Leonard had been ecstatic to see the B+ Penny had finished her class with, so, the following fall semester, she had signed up for another. Venturing further and further into school, Penny had finally knocked a few of her walls down and allowed Leonard to help her, asking him to explain things she didn't fully understand or to help quiz her for a test scheduled the next night. She had surprised him this spring semester by announcing she was ready to try a science class. Physics had just seemed like the right way to go.
Balancing work with her night classes twice a week and rehearsing for the small plays she had continued to stay a part of, along with spending what free time she had with her friends, Penny realized she had been going to less and less auditions over the last year. Leonard continued to encourage her and support her failed acting career, but she just didn't feel the passion there. Each time an opportunity presented itself, Penny would find some excuse to not go. She had yet to figure out if that was because of her fear of rejection or if she was finally deciding to let go of her dream from long ago and move on with life.
Shutting her eyes once again as another wave of nausea hit, Penny snuggled deeper into the cushions, begging her body to just stop. Her pleas went unheard and she felt her mouth begin to water again, felt the burning sensation travel up her throat. Reaching over and grabbing the trash can she had thankfully placed close by earlier, Penny heaved, wondering if there was even anything left to throw up. She hadn't been able to keep anything down all day.
Finished, Penny sat back, grasping her stomach again as the tears rolled down her cheeks. Her eyes found the red article of clothing hanging from the back of the couch. Leonard's hoodie. Lifting her arm felt like lifting a 50lb weight as she gently pulled the material down on top of her body and slid her arms through the sleeves. She buried her nose into the hood, the smell of his cologne being the first thing to not make her nauseated all day.
She hoped he'd be home soon. All of this had started earlier in the week. Penny had claimed she had probably just caught some sort of 24 hour virus and it would pass soon. Days went by, the sick feeling to her stomach continued. Leonard seemed doubtful, considering she wasn't running a fever, but he made her soup each night, offering her saltine crackers as some substance when she couldn't keep the soup down at times. He snuggled with her, held her hair back when she got sick, rubbed her back, even let her pick out the movie to watch every night, and when she fell asleep halfway through, he carried her to bed, crawling in behind her. Thinking back over all the amazing things Leonard had done for her that week, Penny mentally high-fived herself for asking him to move in with her several months back.
She hadn't felt too good when he had reluctantly left for work earlier that morning, falling back asleep as soon as the door had closed behind him. The nausea and vomiting hadn't started until a few hours later and now, closing in on five in the evening, Penny was still no better. She had thought about calling, begging him to leave work early and come take care of her. She knew he'd do it, no hesitation at all, and the thought made her feel loved and selfish at the same time. He had already missed so much work for her this week. So she decided to suffer through the pain alone. The only person she had talked to all day being Bernadette asking her out for lunch. She had politely declined, explaining to her friend what was happening.
A groan pushed past her lips as she heard a knock at the door, knowing it wasn't Leonard. She had absolutely no strength left to stand and answer the door. She wondered if she kept quiet if they would just go away. Her eyes opened when she heard another knock and a soft voice on the other side. "It's unlocked," Penny called out in a voice that she hardly even recognized from being so tired.
The door swung open and Bernadette strolled in, a plastic bag hanging from her arm. "Hey, you look awful!"
Penny forced a smile, "Gee, thanks, Bernie."
Bernadette shook her head, sitting on the edge of the couch next to Penny's legs. "You know what I mean." She reached a hand out and felt of Penny's forehead. "You don't feel like you have a fever."
"No, I haven't had one all week. Just can't stop getting sick to my stomach. Probably just ate something bad."
"All week?" Bernadette's face took on the same expression Leonard's had when she had said it was most likely a 24 hour virus.
Penny shrugged lazily, "I don't know what else it could be."
She caught a glimpse of something she couldn't quite figure out in her tiny friend's eyes, but it disappeared quickly and Bernadette spoke up again, holding up the plastic bag, "Anyway, Leonard got a little caught up at work so he asked me to stop by and drop off some medicine and other things for you, mostly to check up on you."
Penny's face lit up with a smile. "He's the best," she whispered.
Bernadette flashed a smile, pulling out several different medications to try, some in pill form, some liquid. Penny saw her hand hover over the bag, her eyes cast downward and her bottom lip between her teeth.
"What is it?" Penny inquired, curious.
Bernadette whipped around to look Penny in the eye again, "Listen.." she started, her hands dropping the bag and coming up to grasp one of Penny's. She gave her a wavering smile and squeezed her hand gently. "I got something else for you. Leonard doesn't know I bought this next item, but, based on the symptoms you described to me on the phone and how long you've been sick now, I just figured it wouldn't hurt to try it."
Penny's eyes narrowed, staring at her friend, unsure, "What are you talking about?"
Sighing, Bernadette reached one hand into the bag and pulled out a box, handing it over to her.
Penny's eyes scanned the box, before sitting up quickly and turning on the woman next to her, "A pregnancy test? What the hell, Bernie!"
Bernadette held her hands up in front of her, defensively, "Just hear me out-"
"I'm not pregnant!" Penny exclaimed, throwing the box on the table in front of her.
"You don't have a fever, you've been nauseous for at least a week now, barely keeping anything down-"
"I'm not pregnant!" Penny interrupted again.
"You may not be, but what would it hurt to try? To rule it out and if you're not, we can focus on what is really making you sick and get you better!" Bernadette was quiet for a few minutes, watching her friend stare intently at the box, "Penny? When's the last time you had your period?"
She bit the inside of her cheek, thinking back over the past few weeks. Her brow furrowed as she concentrated. Sighing, Penny finally gave up, closing her eyes and falling back against the couch, "I-I can't remember." She reached both hands up to massage her temples. All this thinking was beginning to give her a headache. "I just have been so busy with work and school and the play I just finished that I haven't even realized-" she trailed off, opening her eyes and glancing over at the shorter blonde. "I can't be pregnant, Bernie."
"Hey," Bernadette grasped Penny's hand tighter, "We won't know unless we try. I'll stay with you. You won't be alone, Penny."
Penny nodded slowly and her eyes found the box sitting in front of her again. Here we go.
Penny stared at the message on her phone, letting out a sigh of relief for the first time that day. One of her classmates had agreed to let her copy her notes for the night after Penny had explained how sick she still was feeling. Honestly, the nausea had passed already, but she had no strength left from the day and knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything the professor said. Not after the past hour.
Setting her phone back on the coffee table, she avoided looking at the stick that sat there as well. She had stared at it enough already. Staring wasn't going to change the answer.
Penny's head rested against the back of the couch, just as she heard those three familiar knocks at her door.
Knock knock. "Leonard and Penny." Knock knock. "Leonard and Penny." Knock knock. "Leonard and Penny."
Groaning, Penny yelled out for him to come in. Sheldon was the last person she wanted to see at the moment, but she knew he'd never go away.
She opened her eyes as the door opened slowly and Sheldon stood in the doorway. "Hello, Penny. I was wondering if Leonard had made it home yet. I'm aware he was having to stay a little later than usual at the university. As you know tonight is our weekly night to hang out, since you took my good buddy away from me."
Penny sighed, remembering the day Leonard had moved out of 4A and into 4B. Sheldon had refused to talk to either for several days, before the guys had finally came to an agreement and decided to replace 'Anything Can Happen Thursday' with a night specifically for the two of them to hang out. On those nights no one else was allowed to join in, especially Penny, Sheldon had pointed out. Even Amy, who was currently residing in Leonard's old room (after a lot of coaxing of Sheldon), was booted from 4A for several hours each Thursday night, usually hanging out with either her or Bernadette. "I did not take your friend away from you and no he isn't home yet."
Before Sheldon could speak again, Amy appeared in the doorway beside him. "Hi, Bestie!" she greeted, enthusiastically.
Penny gave a short wave and forced a smile. She really didn't want company. She felt like crap, she knew she looked gross, and, right now, she had way too much on her mind. She really just needed Leonard.
Amy walked further into the room, "Bernadette called and told me she had an early morning tomorrow, so it's just you and me tonight. I assume you're not going to your class tonight, since you still look under the weather." Amy sat next to her on the couch, lifting a hand to place against Penny's forehead, frowning. "Hmm, still no fever. I can whip you up some food if you'd like and we can watch some chick flicks in our pajamas while our guys get their geek on." Amy's smile stretched across her face, an eyebrow raised, waiting on a confirmation from her best friend.
Penny felt horrible having to crush Amy's hopes, but she really needed alone time with Leonard tonight, without an audience. "Listen, Ames-"
"What is that?" Sheldon interrupted, pointing to the table, striding over to stand before it, "Is that a pregnancy test?"
Balls.
Penny cringed, forgetting to hide the stick when her friends came over. She opened her mouth to try to find any excuse, but words failed her.
Amy leaned forward and gasped, "It's positive." She turned to face Penny again, "Bestie, you're pregnant?"
"Well-I-"Penny fumbled over her words. Her palms began to sweat and her heart raced. This wasn't how anyone was supposed to find out.
"No!" Sheldon shouted, a frown covering his face, "You can't be pregnant! I forbid it!"
Both Amy's and Penny's jaw dropped at his outburst. Amy spoke first, "Sheldon, you can't 'forbid' this. You have no control over any of this."
Sheldon shook his head, stubbornly, and crossed his arms in front of his chest, "No. You can't be pregnant," his voice dropped to just above a whisper, "Too much has changed already."
Penny's sympathy for Sheldon pushed her fears to the back of her mind for the moment. "Sheldon, sweetie, I am," she tried to swallow down the lump forming in her throat as she finally said the words aloud, "I am pregnant, but this doesn't mean we're going to forget about you. It's not going to change much-"
"Oh, please!" Sheldon shouted again, a hand waving through the air. "It's going to change so much. I'll never get to see Leonard or you anymore. Now our 'Sheldon and Leonard: Best Buddy Extravaganza' night will become 'Sheldon No Longer Has A Best Friend Because Penny Stole Him Away Completely' night. Our grocery store trips together will either cease to exist or will include you having to juggle a cranky infant in your arms. My spot in the two of your lives will be replaced with a screaming baby now."
"A baby?"
Three heads whipped around to see Leonard now standing in the doorway, his book bag hanging from his shoulder and a frown across his handsome face. He spoke up again, stepping into the apartment, "Who's having a baby?"
Sheldon's mouth opened before anyone else's, "Penny is! And now our friendship will be meeting it's end soon-"
"Sheldon!" Amy yelled, scolding him.
"Sheldon, what the hell! Did you ever think that maybe I wanted to be the one to tell him?" Penny screamed, rising from the couch. All sympathy she had felt for Sheldon earlier had now been wiped away. She pointed in the direction of the hallway, "Out!"
Amy stood as well, grabbing Sheldon by the shoulders and guiding him out of the room, "Let's go Sheldon."
Sheldon reluctantly started to move with her, "But what about tonight? I'm supposed to hang out with-"
Amy pushed him out the door a bit quicker now, before Penny could explode on him again. The door slammed behind them and the apartment filled with silence.
Penny collapsed backwards on to the couch again. Eyes shut, she raised a shaky hand to push the hair out of her face and held her head in her hands.
Soon, she felt the cushion beside her sink a little lower, followed by a hand rubbing her lower back slowly. Opening her eyes and lifting her head, she turned to see Leonard. Instead of staring at her, his eyes were focused on the pregnancy test, an unreadable expression on his face.
Her left hand slid over to rest on his thigh. "Leonard?" She spoke softly.
His eyes finally connected with hers. "Are you really?" he questioned. At her slow nod, he continued, "Well, how do you feel about this?"
She avoided his gaze as the question fell from his lips. How did she feel? Should she just smile and act happy that her life was about to be completely turned upside down even more than it already was. "I- I-"she took a deep breath before trying to speak again, "I don't really know how I feel right now. I'm still kind of processing everything." She glanced up at him again. The frown on his face had grown. "Well, how do you feel?" She asked, turning the tables.
His brow furrowed slightly, "Honestly, it's not the way I pictured it, I mean-it's not ideal timing but-" his hand grasped hers and a smile began to appear on his face for the first time since he had arrived home, "of course I'm happy, I mean..it's with you."
"Tell me why we're here again."
Penny helped Bernadette unfold the blanket onto the green grass below her feet, before resting on top of it, legs crossed. Her eyes scanned the field in front of her.
"Well," Bernadette started, sitting down beside her, "word of your pregnancy got around pretty quickly and when Howard found out, he became really excited." She turned to look at Penny, a frown on her lips, "He kind of has 'baby fever' now and has it in his mind that we're next."
"Oh man," Penny mumbled.
"Yeah," Bernadette nodded, "It didn't make things better when he found out my little niece, Jessica, had a soccer game today. He wanted me to come watch her and be around all the kids. He wouldn't quit bringing it up until I finally agreed," she finished with a long sigh.
Penny's brow furrowed, confused, "Well if he wanted you to go so bad, why isn't he here with you?"
"He promised his mother he'd take her to the new buffet they opened up down the street from our apartment. He couldn't find a way out of it. So, I figured, if I can't bring the man who is trying to make me procreate, why not bring the next best thing: someone who already has one growing in her tummy." Bernadette flashed her a smile that some people may have described as 'a tad bit evil'. "If I have to suffer through this, so do you."
"Gee, thanks," Penny moaned, turning her attention back to the field as the poor referee tried his hardest to get the attention of several small children. She watched as the kids, in a mixed array of purple and green jerseys, fumbled around, stumbling over one another. She even spotted one little girl off to herself, picking from a small bundle of flowers she had discovered. She couldn't have been older than four, which Penny thought was way too young to be playing sports, but what did she know about children?
Nothing.
Her heart dropped at the thought. Her hand slowly raised intended to place against her stomach where she knew her own child was growing, but instead hovered just above it, afraid to touch it. Her eyes stared down at her hand for a few seconds, before dropping it to her lap again. Her eyes glanced over to Bernadette beside her, afraid she had been caught, but her friend's line of vision remained focused on the game in front of her. Penny sighed, inwardly.
Life had changed a great deal since she had taken that damn pregnancy test weeks ago. Leonard had become the attentive father-to-be she always knew he would be. He made sure she was comfortable at every moment he was around her. He called her from work, had dinner and a warm bath waiting for her the nights she would be in late, and he attended her first doctor appointment with her just the day before. Her eyes briefly flicked over to her purse on the ground beside her, afraid to look for too long, as if she could see through the material and see the sonogram picture resting at the bottom of her bag. Her mind flashed back to sitting in the treatment room, the first picture of their child resembling a peanut on the screen in front of them. She remembered Leonard's face filled with excitement, much like when he would read through a new comic book or rewatch one of his Star Wars movies for the millionth time. He had turned to face her, a smile covering his face, and Penny had forced a smile back. She wished she could feel the same as he did; she was fully aware he had already told all his colleagues from the university and knew he carried the sonogram in his wallet, prepared to be shown at any moment. The truth was Penny didn't feel the same. She tried, she really did, but she couldn't push away the fear building up. How was she supposed to raise a baby when she could barely take care of herself at times?
She was shaken from her thoughts as she heard a whistle blow from close by. Her eyes refocused on the reason she was there and she saw a small boy standing before her. He wore a bright green jersey that was a size too big for him and blonde curls hanging around his eyes. He raised a tiny hand to push his black framed glasses back up the bridge of his nose and then waved at her, smiling. Penny slowly lifted a hand to offer a hesitant wave back, a slight smile on her face as well. At the sound of a second whistle, the boy ran off towards his team and Penny's eyes followed him, a small part of her hoping his team would win.
She didn't even pay attention to the woman sitting beside her, glancing over and smirking.
By the time Penny had reached the fourth floor landing, her cell phone had nearly burned a whole through her ear. She rolled her eyes as she listened to her mother ramble on and on about the responsibilities that came with taking care of a baby. She instantly regretted telling her parents the news the moment the words had left her mouth. Her father had congratulated her, seeming to be nearly as excited by the news as Leonard was, while her mother had continued to remind her of the just how much her life was about to change. As if I needed reminded, she had thought, bitterly, stomping up the last flight of stairs.
She knew deep down though that she couldn't have kept it a secret for long. If she hadn't told them now, Leonard probably would have pushed her to. Her boyfriend had called her just an hour earlier to let her know that he was on hold at his mother's office. "Maybe she'll take my call this time!" he had exclaimed, his voice filled with delight.
She replied to her mother's statements with a monotone answer each time, trying to keep her anger at bay. She was aware that her mother was just trying to be the responsible parent she hardly was for her growing up, but, right now, Penny just didn't want to hear her voice telling her about how easy it was to screw up another life. She was, after all, the expert on that subject.
Finally succeeding in getting her mom to hang up, Penny slid the phone back into her pocket, ignoring the message from Amy tossing out ideas for a baby shower. Closing her eyes, she rested her body against the broken elevator doors behind her. She should probably go into her apartment. Leonard was most likely home. As soon as she walked through the door, he'd practically jump her, asking her how her day was with such enthusiasm that would do nothing but grate on her last nerve of the day. Penny really just needed to talk to someone who wasn't overjoyed with or wanting to talk about the fact that, in seven more months, she'd be pushing another human out of her body.
Her eyes popped open suddenly and she spun on her heels. She knew exactly where she could go to get that. She didn't even bother knocking. Slamming the door of apartment 4A behind her, Penny stomped over to the couch and sank backwards. Turning her head slightly, her eyes met the ones of the man sitting next to her in his usual spot and wearing his red Flash shirt and blue long-sleeved undershirt.
"Sure, Penny," Sheldon started, "Come on in. I don't mind." He shook his head disapprovingly, as he turned his attention back to the television. "That was sarcasm, by the way."
Penny was sure if she rolled her eyes any more they'd get stuck. "Yeah, I caught that," She replied, focusing on the TV as well. A frown appeared on her face as she realized what was playing, "Star Trek? Really, Sheldon? Don't you ever get tired of this?"
She felt his eyes on her again, "Okay, missy, you can leave the same way you came in." His finger pointed towards the door, before speaking again, "Just don't slam it so hard this time with your big Nebraskan man hands."
Her frown deepened and she held out her hands in front of her, examining them. They really weren't that big, were they? They'll look even bigger holding a baby in them. Penny huffed and shoved her hands under her legs, refusing to look at them now.
Sheldon glanced over, confused by her awkward movement. "What are you even doing here?" he asked.
A sigh flowed past her lips and Penny sunk deeper into the couch. "I just wanted a moment away from everyone congratulating me or wanting to discuss baby names or even just bringing up just how horrible of a mother I'm going to be." She felt her eyes begin to sting with tears as her last words spoken aloud hit her, "Oh God, I'm going to be a terrible mother!" The words rushed out, slightly muffled as her hands covered her face.
"Oh boy," she heard Sheldon mumble, before feeling the cushions around her shift with his movement. "Penny-"
Her wails of despair interrupted him. "I'm going to screw up this child's life so much! They're going to resent me forever!" Her body shook with sobs and she tried hard to catch her breath, as she completely fell apart before his eyes.
Sheldon's eyes widened and his face paled. He had never done well around crying girls. He was truly at a loss for words. Rising, he decided to do the only thing that came natural to him in this type of situation. "I'll make you a hot beverage."
"I don't need a stupid hot beverage!" Penny screamed at him through her sobs.
Sheldon quickly sat back down beside her, nervous and frightened. He reached out a hand to place on her shoulder, in an attempt to be consoling, but yanked it back as she screamed into her hands followed by a repeat of her words about being a terrible mother to her child. "Penny, you're not-" he tried, only to be interrupted again.
"Yes! I am! I'm going to be a completely horrible mom!"
"Fine!" Sheldon threw his hands in the air, exasperated, his voice raising, "You're going to be a terrible mother! If you truly think that, then there's no way I can convince you otherwise!"
Penny sat, shocked at his outburst. A few tears still slid down her cheeks, but her sobs had died down. Wiping at her eyes, she shook her head slowly, "C'mon Sheldon. You can't tell me that you of all people think I'm going to be a good mother."
Sighing, Sheldon spoke with a calmer tone this time, "Penny, I've known you for nearly eight years now. When I first met you, I would've agreed with that statement without any hesitation. Frankly, up until this past year, I still would have. The past year though, I've seen quite a bit of growth from you and, while I still feel you will no doubt make mistakes from time to time, I believe you are capable of being a better mother to your offspring than you would have eight years ago, or even two years ago."
Penny felt a smile begin to form as Sheldon's words sunk in. She knew that admitting something nice about her was hard for him to do and it warmed her heart immensely. "Thank you, Sheldon," She whispered.
"You're welcome, "he nodded, satisfied with his answer and turning back to the TV, "now, go talk to Leonard about all this nonsense."
Penny's eyes began to water again and her heart rate picked back up. "I can't talk to Leonard! He is so excited and I'm so damn confused about everything-" her words trailed off as another sob resurfaced.
"Not this again," Sheldon groaned, standing abruptly and shuffling towards the door, slinging it open, and shutting it behind him.
Penny stared after him, her brow arched and her heart breaking. Did he really just storm out and leave her, alone and crying on his couch? She reached to the table beside her, grabbing a handful of tissues. She dabbed at her eyes, knowing it was useless as more new tears appeared.
Just as she was about to stand to walk to the bathroom and attempt at redoing her makeup, the door opened again and Sheldon strolled back in, Leonard following close behind, hair wet and nothing but a towel wrapped around his lower half.
"What-What are you doing, Sheldon?" Penny exclaimed.
Sheldon grabbed Leonard's arm and pulled him to stand beside Penny. "She interrupted my Star Trek marathon, she slammed the door, she dumped all of her problems on me, and she cried!" Sheldon practically spit the last word out, "You know the kind of position that puts me in! She wouldn't even accept a hot beverage!"
"Sheldon, calm down-"Leonard attempted, holding his hand up.
"No. Here's what's going to happen. You two," he paused, pointing between the couple, "are going to sit and talk about all this. It's starting to interfere with my life. I don't need any crying in my life right now. There will be enough of that soon enough." His eyes flicked towards her stomach briefly, before meeting Leonard's again. "Now, talk! I am going to my room to read. Please try to keep your voices down." He started around the couch and down the hall, before stopping and adding, "Please refrain from having coitus in my spot."
At the sound of his bedroom door shutting, Leonard tightened the towel around his waist and took a seat next to her. "Penny?"
Her eyes lifted to connect with his. "I'm sorry, Leonard."
Creases appeared across his forehead. "For what, love bug?" he asked, placing a hand on her arm.
Penny was certain she had cried every tear she had left as she sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with the tissue again. Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. How could she begin to explain? Instead, she shook her head and leaned against him. She could feel the small water droplets on his damp skin soak through her blouse. Her face buried into his chest and, within a second, his arms were around her, pulling her even closer. "Sweetie, you're starting to really worry me," he said, a hand rubbing up and down her back, slowly.
Having him hold her gave her the courage she was searching for. She slid her arms around him as well, the words finally escaping, "I'm sorry that I don't feel as excited as you do about this baby. I'm trying, I really am, but.." she tailed off and felt a tear make it's way down her left cheek. Maybe she'd been wrong earlier.
"Keep talking, honey," Leonard encouraged, "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
Lifting her head off his chest, she met his gaze. His beautiful eyes urged her on. "I'm so scared. I just keep thinking about how I don't even have my life figured out yet and now I'm expected to help raise another one? I mean, I have no career ahead of me; I'm stuck at an awful job that I am equally awful at. How am I going to do this?"
Leonard sat, befuddled, for a couple of seconds, gathering his thoughts. He hadn't expected this from her when Sheldon had drug him out of the bathroom and across the hall. When he spoke again, he turned to face her better, keeping one arm around her. "Penny, you're going to be a great mother-," at Penny's scoff, he continued, "You will be. Yes, you're still confused about your path in life, but, in my eyes, you're doing an excellent job. Yeah, you've hit a lot of bumps along the way, but isn't that what life is about? It makes the journey much more memorable and makes it easier for you to truly appreciate what you have accomplished. You've gone back to school, for crying out loud! That takes a lot of guts." He flashed her a bright, loving smile. "You have come a long way and I am extremely proud of you. You may not have the dream job you've always wanted right now, but that doesn't matter to a child. You really think I would've chosen the way my mom is over someone as loving as you?" His bright smile transformed to a sad one, "No way. I would've loved to have had a mother like the one you will be. Sweet, funny, loving, protective. I have no doubt in my mind that you will make an amazing mother, Penny."
Her lips stretched into a brief smile before returning to a frown, "But, I'm so scared, Leonard, and then I look at you and you're not scared at all and-"
This time it was Leonard's turn to scoff. "You think I'm not scared?" At her nod and halfhearted shrug, Leonard laughed, "Penny, I'm absolutely terrified. I know next to nothing about kids, especially infants." He reached a hand up to tuck a stray blonde lock behind her ear. "But, as scared as I am, I know we can do this. I am willing to read any baby book, go to any birthing class with you, and look like a complete idiot at times, as long as I'm doing it with you by my side. I want you to know that I am in this for the long run and I'm sorry if that may scare you, but it's the truth."
"I want you to be," Penny admitted, her hand grasping his and squeezing gently. "I won't be able to do this without you, Leonard."
"And you won't," he replied, matter-of-factly. "I won't ever let that happen."
"It's going to be hard," Penny reminded him.
"Oh, it's going to be exhausting, but we will cross every bridge when we get to it, together. It'll be worth every tiring moment, because, in the end, we'll have a little bundle of joy to call ours."
Penny's smile now mirrored his. "Thank you, Leonard. For everything." Leaning closer, she pressed her lips firmly against his. After a few seconds, she pulled back and rested her forehead against his bare shoulder. "I love you."
"I love you, too." His hands rested on the small of her back, "And don't worry, the excitement will come eventually. You'll find that moment. Just give it time."
She desperately wanted to believe him.
Penny grimaced as she lay back on the uncomfortable padded table she was reclined on in her doctor's office. Glancing over, she watched as Leonard surveyed the various pictures of newborns pinned on a bulletin board hanging from the wall. She saw the twinkle in her eye and the slight upturn of his lips. He said she would eventually get there too, but a month had passed since their talk, and she still felt her worries override any glimpse of happiness she would feel. She had refused to let herself breakdown again ever since, but she still never brought up the subject of their baby. She chose to ignore the fact that her pants were beginning to fit a bit tighter. She was starting to become extremely frustrated with herself. She really did not want to suffer through the entire pregnancy with her current feelings of doubt and distance.
The door opened and her doctor stepped in, smiling, as she greeted the two of them.
"Good afternoon, Dr. Young," Leonard held out his hand and offered a handshake, which the redheaded doctor accepted.
"Good to see you again, Leonard," She responded, "And Penny, welcome back. Twelve weeks! Let's take another look at your baby, shall we?"
Dr. Young rolled her chair closer to the table and Penny lifted her shirt, revealing her abdomen. She winced as the gel was rubbed across her stomach. "I know it's cold. I'm sorry," Dr. Young apologized as the transducer was placed against her skin. "Now, at twelve weeks, we should be able to-" she paused as a muffled sound erupted from the machines speakers and filled the room, "Yep. There is your baby's heartbeat."
With a small movement of the transducer, the sound grew louder and rung in Penny's ears. Her eyes widened in surprise as she took in the noise.
My baby's heartbeat.
The sound continued and she sensed Leonard step closer, his hand falling to her shoulder. She didn't have to look at him to see his expression. She could just imagine the smile exploding across his face, his eyes full of admiration.
Penny's eyes closed and she allowed everything in the room to fade away, except for the sound, the proof that the thing growing inside her wasn't just the small peanut she had seen on the screen before. It was living. It had a heartbeat. One of the most beautiful sounds she had ever heard in her life.
When she opened her eyes again, she was looking into Leonard's tear filled ones. She stared for a few seconds longer, before mouthing, "I love you."
She vaguely recalled the doctor wiping the gel away from her stomach, barely heard her telling Leonard the details of her follow-up appointment. Sitting up, she fought back any tears trying to slip by. She closed her eyes once again, the sound from before still echoing in her ears, a tender smile present. Her heart swelled with joy and she let her mind wonder about what her baby would look like, images flowing through her brain. She wondered what his or her laugh would sound like and if it would sound just as amazing as the sound of their heartbeat. After she opened her eyes, she brought her hands together, allowing them to rest on her stomach for the first time since she had laid eyes on the positive pregnancy test. Staring down at the placement of her hands, her face lit up, and she whispered, ever so softly, "I love you, Baby Hofstader."