Hey you guys! Thanks for reading my other FF-You Were Always There Beside Me! I came up with this FF listening to The Script. DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN iCARLY...if Dan Schnieder would let me have at them for a couple of episodes, that would be super great! ;) -sammy :)
You healed these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
The day news came my best friend died
My knees went week and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes
-I'm Yours, The Script
No matter what happened, Carly was always there for me. It had been like that since we were younger and now we were out of college. Through all of that shit that happened with my mom, Carly never left my side. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be standing here today as a college graduate with a career in the FBI. She was one of the only ones to ever believe in me. She was my angel.
The day I heard about Freddie's death, I was heartbroken. He was my best friend, other than Carly, of course. Growing up, we were always fighting but once we got to our junior year of high school something changed and we became the best of friends. The three of us were as close as friends could be. That is, well was, until now.
I just walked into our shared apartment after work. I throw all of my stuff by the door and head to my room calling out for Carly to see if she's home. "Carls!" I pass her room and her door is shut. I lean in to hear if she's in there or not and hear faint sobs. Immediately worrying, I push open the door. "Carls?"
She is sitting in the corner of her room with her knees held close to her chest and rocking back and forth. I rush over to her and
"Freddie is…dead?"
"Yeah, I just got the call a couple minutes ago from Mrs. Benson. He was hit by…"
I froze. I didn't hear anything else that came out of her mouth. I don't know what happened because I ended up blacking out but I woke up in fetal position clutching onto Carly. Why am I reacting this way to this news about Freddie? Well, when me and Freddie stopped making fun of each other and became close in our junior year, we got so close that we were like brother and sister. He was the brother I never had.
I could feel her rub my back and sing a soft soothing melody. After what felt like forever, I rolled over to face her, but staying on her lap.
"So when is the funeral?" I ask quietly.
"Probably next week. Mrs. B doesn't have everything set yet."
The funeral was six days later. Carly had to drag me there.
"C'mon Sam. If we don't leave now, we'll be late!"
"I'm coming Carls!" I looked in the mirror to check my appearance for the last time. Looking into my eyes, I can see the pain and I know that Carly knows it too. I hear Carly coming to the door, so I take a deep breath to gather myself. As she opens the door, I leave and we stand nose to nose. We're so close, I'm inhaling her exhales. A shiver travels down my spine. This is not the time to be thinking about this! I berate myself internally. Today is Freddie's funeral. Focus on getting through that. But I-. I know I do; one thing at a time Puckett! I am debating with myself inside my head.
Noticing our closeness, she takes a step back and speaks. "S-S-Sam, are you ready? Spence is waiting for us in the car."
"Yeah. I'm ready. Let's go."
We get down to the car and spend the whole ride in silence. Carly and I sat close to each other in the backseat. She was going to sit next to Spencer in the front, but I begged her to stay by me. I needed her by my side, not because I was craving her from our closeness in the bathroom, but because I needed her to be my rock. I have always portrayed myself as being strong and not fazed by anything. In reality, I was weak when I was alone. I drew my strength from Carly. When I was home alone in my room, I would cry myself to sleep, but when I was with Carly, I felt this need to be her rock. I had to be her protector.
That's mainly the reason I fought with Freddie. In my head it was a competition between me and Fredward on Carly's affection. He was the only to know about my love for Carly. That's why in high school he backed off. He found a girl that he was in love with more than Carls and once she came along I found that we actually had a lot in common.
She, Spencer, and Freddie were the only family I had. I needed to be by her. Now that Freddie was gone, I felt the desparate need to be by her. I grab her hand and squeeze it. She looks at me with a warm smile and I feel like I'm home and we're not on our way to a funeral-Shit! A tear falls from my eye and I try to look away. She holds my face to make me face her and she wipes the tear from my eye. The car stops and Spencer leaves, seeing the direction of our conversation. Carly waits for him to leave the car before she starts.
"Sam, please talk to me? You haven't said anything about Freddie since I told you last week! I see you wanting to burst, but you need to allow it to happen! You can't hold in your feelings forever!"
Hearing her outburst startled me. It was not characteristic of Carly, my Carls, to raise her voice.
"What do you awnt me to say?" I manage to quietly get out.
She manages to return back to normal. "I don't know, Sam. Something. Anything. You haven't cried. You've only been moping like your dog died."
"But I don't have a dog."
"Exactly. You aren't showing that much emotion."
I look at her and search her eyes. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, but I somehow find it. I gain enough strength from her to muster up an answer.
"Cuzimthestrongone."
"What?"
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "It's cuz I'm the strong one. You are the dainty one and I'm the strong one. Freddie was the geeky coward kid. That's what we are-I mean were. That's what we were Carls. I'm sorry that I haven't been showing you 'emotion' like you want me to. It's hard for me to process. I'm trying to keep myself together. As long as I can keep everything else the same, everything will work. Right?"
I open my eyes to see her crying. "Oh, Sam. Come here." She wraps her arms around me and hugs me into her chest. "You're still my little soldier. Everyone breaks down sometimes, but this doesn't change that. In my eyes," she pulls me up to her face to lock eyes, "you are still my strong, brave soldier, Sam. I love you, Sam." My eyes got wide until I remember that we're just friends, and she only means it that way. "I really love you Sam. I mean it."
I duck my head into her chest and mumble, "Not like I do."
"What'd ya say?"
I move my head and simply reply, "Nothin."
"No tell me." She pulls back a little to look at my face.
"Uhhhh. I said 'not like I do." She looks at me quizzically. "You said 'you love me' and I said 'not like I do'. You don't love me like I love you."
She chuckles "Oh, Sam." I basically profess my undying love for her and she chuckles? Bullshit! I look at her funny and open my mouth to begin to say something but she cuts me off.
"Oh yeah? Well if I didn't love you like you love me, than would I do this?" She grabs my face with both hands and gives me a kiss on my lips. I pull back surprised, but crash my lips back to hers and deepens it.
A song flashes through my head and I reluctantly pull away smiling. "I may not have the softest touch, I may not say the words as much-"
"What's that?"
"Just this song that I love. It reminds me of you."
"Oh?"
"Yeah." I finish singing. "I know I don't fit in as much, but Carls, I'm yours."
So that was the end of my little oneshot! I could make this more but you guys tell me what you want! Thanx! R&R!
-sammy :)