Drowning in Darkness
Like a fallen leaf my life turns light to grey
And the golden rays of daylight fade away
Gray sighed.
He was sitting at a table, slightly removed from the bigger bluster that was so common to take place at the guild.
A slight shadow seemed to have fallen over the area where he was but it felt good to Gray, to feel a separation from his guildmates. He had a mug half-emptied with ale but for the moment, he had taken a break from drinking. Gray was, instead, looking at the activity all around the guild and feeling slightly down. Gray noticed that Juvia was nearby, he caught her on his periphery, and she seemed to be fidgeting. Gray's attention didn't take long to discard her, turning once again to the noise of loud voices singing, drinking, yelling at each other.
He could be there.
He usually would be there.
Yet, today he was feeling strangely disconnected from everything.
Cold.
He wasn't cold usually.
It was something that had been kicked out of him many years ago.
Yet, here Gray was, feeling cold. Hollow.
The fingers from his right hand twitched. A spasm that he would notice himself having whenever the need to smoke reached a certain degree.
Because, he really needed a smoke.
A smoke to allow him to distance himself from the here and now.
It would be either that or sex.
But his partner, the asshole, was still absent so that was a no go.
Gray let his breath out in a whoosh. Hands curling around the still somewhat cold surface of the mug and wondering if it was worth it to press further and have the thing shatter in his hands.
Maybe it was for the best if he didn't do it.
No.
Tonight some ghosts were unchained and the sight of blood would likely be a bad idea.
Not that Gray was squeamish about blood, far from it. Just… sometimes with darkness, as the sun fell, some demons escaped to haunt Gray – which was odd since he was pretty sure he'd made peace, in some way, with his past and the worst things – and would do their best to whisper at his ear, terrifying things that made Gray just wonder if he had been cursed somewhere along his life. Most days he would say that was ridiculous but during some nights he was pretty certain that he was. A curse that had himself, his being, being chipped away, little by little. And, the sight of blood just helped in causing a frenzy of sorts and made Gray worry about what he might do.
Yet, Gray had found a family, he was certain to find himself surrounded by their voices and that way, not even the sight of blood would make Gray doubt. Not even when he was alone.
Alas, every now and then, in a cycle of sorts of which he knew nothing, there would be a blank and the demons would surround him, like an armour of coldness, seep deep into his mind.
Gray wondered.
Wondered for how long this would happen.
And his previous mission didn't help matters, no, it seemed to have opened a door that Gray thought closed a long time ago.
The gelid grip of the shadows seemed to be plunging into the skin of his arms, so cold it burned and Gray's mind spun.
And then, a fresh wave of noise managed to perk him a little, thaw his frigid mind.
Gray's eyes searched the crowd and, sure enough, there was Natsu, coming from his mission – finally – and also seeming to be scanning the crowd.
Their gazes locked and the happy expression the fire mage was sporting closed off suddenly. He sported a serious look and nodded at Gray, his usual expression returning before anyone had the time to notice. The ice mage understood the meaning – it wasn't their first time – and stood up from the table. He walked to the rooms, unconsciously choosing to walk near the shadows.
He missed Juvia's disappointed sigh, behind.
The door didn't take long to open behind Gray. The ice mage was standing by the window, being bathed by the moonlight which seemed to carve his body with a game of black and white, appealing to touch.
"I'm here." Natsu's words were simple, going straight to the subject at matter in quite a Natsu-like way.
"Took you long enough." Gray turned his face to Natsu, frowning before fully turning towards the fire mage and walking to him. His eyes widened as he took in the slightly messy state. "What happened?"
"Heh, nothing." The fire mage shrugged in his customary way. "I fell."
"You… fell…" Gray repeated, unconvinced, placing one hand on a scrapped arm.
"Yeah. Just wasn't expecting to have fallen into that trap. You know, falling into a hole on the ground and having to face don't know how many foes. Thankfully they were weak but their number at first was a bit too much." Natsu grinned.
"You are crazy." Gray snorted as he cupped the fire mage's face in his hands.
"You don't mind. You love me, right?" Natsu placed his hands on Gray's waist, bringing their bodies together.
"You are dumb. But I do…" Gray said in a gruff voice, bringing their faces closer together too.
"Takes one to know another. And I do too." Natsu replied before pressing his lips against Gray's. The ice mage moaned into the kiss and answered in kind, his tongue pressing against the seam of the fire mage's mouth, quickly being granted entrance.
The kissed sloppily in the middle of the room for long moments, hands mapping the still clothed expanses of flesh. Natsu made a happy noise when his hands contacted with the skin of Gray's buttocks. Natsu let out an amused noise.
"What?" Gray asked, breaking the kiss.
"Nothing…" Natsu chuckled. "It's just that the way how you undress yourself is quite handy in these situations." Natsu took a step back and seized Gray. "See? You're already naked."
"It's just that you're too slow." Gray rolled his eyes. "Let me help you undress or we'll still be here by tomorrow."
"We can still be here tomorrow." Natsu waggled his eyebrows, starting to take off some of his clothes. "It's just a question of-!" He was stopped as Gray's fingers rested against his lips.
"I get it. But let's begin with tonight, okay?" Gray said reasonably. And then, in a needier voice, in a lower register, "I need you now."
Natsu quickly sobered up.
Gray knew that he could count on the fire mage, he'd been an important support in some things a while ago and Gray had, strangely, accepted that support. And he returned the support when Natsu needed him.
"Not easy tonight?" Natsu, now also naked, murmured against Gray's lips, his hands running up and down his arms.
"Not really." Gray breathed out. The warm touch was already having an effect in thawing the icy shell that had been laid over his limbs like armour.
Natsu's hands started to broaden the places they touched, from his arms to his hands, to his chest, collarbone, chest and back; one pressing delicately against Gray's cheek, the other sliding down to grab one of Gray's buttocks.
Gray started to react, his interest sliding against the firm muscles of Natsu's leg until the fire mage decided to kneel before him. As his hands ran down his legs, Natsu gave him a smart-ass look before engulfing the tip of Gray's erection. Gray let out a surprised noise, his legs shook momentarily and he had to lean forward, his hands resting against Natsu's shoulders and, consequently, his weight too.
"Ahh, stupid fire mage." Gray said, though his words lacked any spite.
Natsu's eyebrows arched up, inquisitively, before the fire mage started moving his head, a lazy rhythm that wasn't helping in keeping Gray from coming but which was doing wonders to the darkness that clung to him.
"Stop!" Gray slapped Natsu's shoulder, only noticing the wound after the jolt it elicited from the other. "Sorry." He muttered before shaking his head. "But could you stop now? I want you inside."
"You should have said so earlier." Natsu said with a mischievous smile. "Let's go to it!" he stood and curled one arm around Gray's waist, leading towards the bed.
"Seriously." Gray rolled his eyes but then looked concerned at Natsu. "But are you sure that you're okay?"
"I am. Don't worry. I'll let you patch me up after." Natsu waggled his eyebrows. "Maybe we should take a shower and then you'll patch me up."
"Tche. Focus on fucking me now, okay?" Gray threw Natsu into the bed, seeing him bounce slightly on the mattress, an indescribably expression fluttering over his face before disappearing.
"Sure." Natsu grabbed Gray's hand and pulled Gray down so that he was laying over him.
The ice mage went with it.
(The rest is at my AO3)
A/N: Today I just felt like writing something with these two, without much backstory and I was listening to Beyond the Dark's song Drowning in Darkness and it just gave me an idea, I guess?
Though things seem to have gotten quite a bit less angsty than I first imagined. XD
Ahh, it's been a while since I wrote some Natsu/Gray. I missed it quite a bit. Ahhhh, my boys... xD
Either way, I liked it. Hopefully it'll also be a nice read. Do say something, if it is.(Aka, comments are always nice...)
Unbetaed, as per usual. Sorry...