First, let me point out that I have been gone for a week in France and so I had the time to write. I wrote this in boredom. I hope you enjoy it!
Second, OH MY GOD FANFICTION. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WHILST I WAS AWAY? WHAT IS THIS STRANGE DROP DOWN LIST TO THE LEFT WHILST I WRITE THIS? I'm not sure I'm quite used to this... Just don't pull a youtube, WHATEVER YOU DO. Youtube has gone to the bin, I WILL NOT ALLOW TO FALL TO THE CLAWS OF BEING NEW AND AWESOME YET FAILS BECAUSE IT OVERCOMPLIATES THINGS.
Right. This is my first songfic, I was never comfortable reading these and I'm not quite comfortable writing it. But here I go. I guess it's because the lyrics took up too much of the stories in previous songfics I've read, which I tried hard not to do here. I think I succeeded. Meh, whatever the case, enjoy!
Based from the song It's Too Late To Apologise by One Republic. Doesn't everybody know that?
Warnings: Anti-Winry, so if you like Winry you might want to piss off, implied RoyEd and some minor violence.
Apologise
Despite what had conspired mere minutes ago that lasted minutes, hours –did it even matter?- he didn't feel as red as what dripped from the cause of his misfortune. In fact, he felt as blue as the uniform of the man that caused the incident to cause that misfortune.
Time and time again, over stupid little things. First it was the big things, things like disappearing without telling her because of some mission that required his urgent attention. It was a big thing, but he told her it had to be that way, she had half his life and therefore only had half his time. Then the small things, like what was happening now. Then the downright stupid things that didn't even matter; dropping her things whilst she was working by accident, reading in bed instead of having sex at times and even talking about alchemy.
He might've been a prodigy, but he was sure this was the stupidest thing he'd ever done, minus the human transmutation.
He might've thought it was a good idea at the time, Riza had caught it too (she wasn't called Hawkeye for nothing) so he didn't think of the consequences beforehand. What a fool he was. He still hadn't grown up in those nine years.
He was just glad he hadn't decided to take a step further.
"Edward, I'm so sorry, sorry!" Her sobbing voice meant very little to him right now. What gave her the right to cry right now? What gave her the right to feel terrible?
He was through listening to this bullshit.
I'm hearing what you say.
So;
But I just can't make a sound.
He hadn't said anything. He had to endure hearing her saying sorry, over and over. What good was saying sorry? He rarely used it, only saying it when he really meant it and it needed to be said, the times he failed his teacher, when he ruined Rose's hope, when she herself cried because of what he did.
Shaking his head in frustration, he had left the room, intent on not coming back. There was nothing for him anymore. It would be sad for him to not come back to the house that kept him safe since his mother died, sad to let Den go, sad to not say goodbye to Grannie again before he left, then apologise for not bringing flowers either.
Picking up his trademark suitcase filled with nothing but his books, young Edward Elric went for the door, to be stopped by a final voice by her.
You tell me that you need me.
"Please," her voice, barely recognisable to what it used to be. No longer was it the strong, confident voice he was used to hearing, nor the demanding and outraged voice when he did something wrong. No, this voice was the same when Grannie left. Now he was leaving too. "Don't go."
Edward sighed, but he didn't turn, or say a thing. His silence annoyed her, as it always did.
"Why do you do this?"
Then you go and cut me down.
"Why do you leave all the time? You promised, when we came into a relationship. We talked about marriage, children… why would you do that?" It was something her non-adventurous mind would never, nor could ever, understand. She didn't know the need to move, she didn't know the need for change. Edward was like the Polar Bear, never satisfied with the area he was in for very long, never finding what he wanted, or at least what he wanted moved as much as he did and not letting anything stand in his way. You couldn't keep one in a zoo; lest it grew horribly miserable or wreaks havoc near beyond repair (Mustang without missions had proved that countless times over) and what Edward was going through was no different.
But wait.
"If I… oh God, Edward, I'm so sorry!"
You tell me that you're sorry.
That ticked him. Angered, for the first time with her, how she still insisted what she believed was true, but he could no longer and continued on like it made a difference.
Didn't think I'd turn around,
And say,
"It's too late to apologise."
He never turned back.
…
Currently, he'd tripped. He'd like to say that, been kicked like the dog he was and so he crawled to the nearest shelter, which just so happened to be a pub.
"Beat up again, kid?"
He glared up at the bartender, Madame Christmas. "I'm twenty one, damnit."
Chris smiled. "You're still young, kid, when you reach my age, I'll start treating you like an adult."
Edward rolled his eyes at the cryptic message. Really, when they said that, it meant never. Age always changes, for everyone, if he wasn't as old as her, he'd never reach that so called 'age'.
"So, what'll it be?"
Ed sighed. "Pint of beer." It appeared a few moments later, then he was left listening to the insistent chatting in the background and the radio playing a tune he could care less for.
I'd take another chance.
He leaned down, staring through his glass and allowing himself to replay the good of what was. Allowed himself to miss what he had hoped to last forever, but just never did.
The time he had to protect her from Scar, protect her from the truth of what happened to her parents.
Take a fall, take a shot for you.
He remembered her keeping his automail in tip top shape, the great perks on how he survived through so much.
And I need you like a heart needs a beat.
But those bad times kept coming back, her hitting him, shouting at him, hitting Alphonse.
But it's nothing new.
She went all the way to the North HQ for him, for his automail, gave him her earrings to keep safe and was always there when he needed her.
I loved you with a fire red.
Then she forcefully opened his State Alchemist watch, letting curiosity take over and forcing herself into his life, his privacy. Telling him he had to call, he couldn't leave then, she needed him for something, she was lonely, always needing.
Now it's turning blue.
Elric sighed, still watching the never moving liquid in his glass which didn't seem to be helping him. He could still remember those last words when he finally left Winry Rockbell, his now ex-girlfriend.
And you say.
"If I… oh God, Edward, I'm so sorry!"
Like an angel, heaven let me think was you.
Edward sighed again, closing his eyes, before downing his drink. Letting the burn take over him.
But I'm afraid,
"It's too late to apologise." He grumbled to himself, nodding, knowing he did what he knew best, before it got worse. "Way too late."
"I wouldn't think so, Fullmetal."
Edward opened one eye, looking through his peripherals to spot a man wearing a military uniform, raven hair, white gloves with a dog, a German Shepherd to be exact, following closely. The dog was dubbed Rover, but really, Roy was crap with names, so it was never a surprise it came to that.
"You wouldn't really know, now would you, General Bastard?" Edward smirked at his commanding officer. It was a thing of theirs; they were always insulting each other, playing pranks and so forth. Nobody could understand; it was their way.
Brigadier General Roy Mustang smiled, meaning to aim it in the direction of his subordinate, but due to his lack of sight, it was slightly off mark. Being blind for five years, his eyes were no longer black as they had been, they had now begun to pale and looked a more grey scale like colour, the black slowly dripping away.
Edward's smirk slipped slightly. It was upsetting to see his CO like this, not when he had been so strong as he fought off Envy, nearly losing himself to his own flames. Like the beer he had drunk, it slowly took over Mustang, burning from the inside, trying to gain possession of the body and had almost succeeded if Ed hadn't stopped him just in time.
Although Roy couldn't see, he could sense the atmosphere, just able to tell that Ed felt bad for what had happened to him. Whilst Roy was angry that he was taken advantage of, he didn't regret doing what he had done and he'd have done it again just as he had to save his country. He never became Fuhrer, nobody could have a blind Fuhrer, but he felt it was enough to be the one to have planned it all from the beginning.
Sighing, he stretched out his hand, feeling for the stool and sitting down as he found it, leaving his jacket on and holding out his dog's lead (1) towards where he assumed Edward Elric was.
"Could you…?"
Edward looked to the lead, but answered verbally knowing Roy wouldn't see. "Oh, yeah." He took it, before getting off his stool and looping the handle of the lead under the stool and up to prevent Rover running away, though it was highly unlikely he would. He was well behaved, like Den had been.
There was a few seconds silence, before Roy broke it. "What brings you here? I thought you were staying in Risembool (2) to do your paperwork and coming in two days from now?"
Ed felt pissed that Truth just had to take Roy's sight to pay for the forced human transmutation. If Roy had his sight, he would never have had to ask. The bandage on his head would say it all, but he was left with the job of telling Mustang in words.
"Just the gear head."
That seemed to be enough for Roy to understand. He seemed to wince slightly. "Hurt bad this time?
"Hurts everytime." Ed sighed. "It was like I was twelve again."
Others might not have understood, but they could. They both lost their parents at young ages, both were apparent geniuses with high expectations over their heads, both impressive titles, both had ambitions and both were as equally stubborn as each other. And both had seen the Truth, which connected them closer than they had ever been before.
"What are you going to do now?"
Edward had expected that, but he really wasn't sure. "Dunno." But looking at Mustang, Elric got the feeling that he was going to be hanging around the bastard a lot more. Alphonse had currently gone to study alkehestry and wasn't due back until just before winter, it was coming to August now. That left about two months to waste with nobody but his CO to understand him. "Might just raid your house."
"Raid the house of a poor blind man?"
Ed smirked a full fanged smirk. "You got a dog that bites, well, two dogs." At times, being a dog was a great advantage to the world. Then he glanced down at Rover, ruffling the head of the canine with his flesh hand, exciting the animal with attention it didn't often get. "Ain't that right, buddy?"
The dog barked in confirmation, or it could've been a question about food or company for all Edward knew, but he took it as he wanted it to.
Roy snorted. "I've had better bodyguards. Are you sure someone of your stature should be doing that?"
Ed bristled, but he kept his insults back, "Always reverting back to the short jokes to hide behind, eh bastard?" Well, almost.
"It's the best place to hide, Fullmetal. You'll learn." Grumbling, Ed turned back to the bar, intent on having another drink, when Roy spoke up again. "How about you come to my place for the night? I could do with some company, and it looks like you need a place to stay until you get your life sorted. Equivalent Exchange?" It seemed like a fair offer to him, true enough Roy was mostly thinking for himself, but he had a good point. Manipulative as he was, he used it to his advantage.
Ed gave Mustang a smile, "Sure, I'll take ya up on that offer."
Mustang smiled back. "Great, but you'll have to excuse me. Aunt Chris left something for me in the back, you mind waiting?" Edward shook his head; Roy had told him that Aunt Chris was in fact his foster mother, back when they first became drinking buddies when the signs for Winry's violence first became a big problem. That was a few months back, almost a year ago.
As he waited for Roy to come back, the young Fullmetal spotted Madame Christmas making her way over.
"Boy, you making your way over with my Roy-boy?"
Ed wasn't exactly sure how she meant that to come out, but he didn't like it either way. Looking at Rover rather than Aunt Chris herself, he replied "What if I said yes?"
It didn't give her a solid answer, but she didn't seem deterred. "If you go all the way, or close to it, don't back out halfway. He's already got enough to deal with right now. Either say it how it is or back off before he gets hurt worse."
It wasn't a shock for Edward to hear this, especially from Aunt Chris. Roy was very vulnerable and he relied on others, mostly Rover, to help him. But if Aunt Chris knew Ed, she'd know that he never did anything half-heartedly. If he wanted something, he'd get it and it would have his full attention, damn everything else. She would be assured that Roy was completely safe, despite how much they argued.
Edward Elric smirked, before he replied, "Don't worry, I'm a greedy bastard when it comes to things I want, if I want it I get it and I keep it. Nobody touches my stuff without my say so."
Aunt Chris seemed satisfied enough. "Be good to him, kid. Here," she brought out two bottles of wine, pretty strong wine at that. "I know Roy needs stocking up; he could really do with it, and a drinking partner." Moving his hand from Rover's head, who watched it closely, probably hoping it to make a return trip, Edward grabbed the two bottles, one in his automail hand and the other in the arms of that same hand. Standing up, he lifted Roy's stool and grabbed Rover's lead before it could be pulled away too far.
"Here we are; dog food for Rover." The Flame alchemist made sure his return was known, so as not to scare his subordinate. Then he noticed the two bottles. "Aunt Chris stock up?"
Ed turned his head, smiling and nodding. "She seemed to think you needed it."
"Damn women should get off my back."
Ed laughed then handed the lead to Roy, who took his time to find it, but find it he did. "I'll be your second pair of eyes, you might need them."
"Heaven forbid I not have them."
A smirk. "Too right."
Not my best work, but whatever, I don't think it's too bad.
Feedback is appreciated! It's my first, it'd be NICE to know how good/bad my first really is. xD
~Blackie
Footnotes~
(1) Lead - A leash, but I use the British version. Leash does sound what a lead makes a dog think "yeesh" but nah. Lead is nicer.
(2) Should you know me, this is my version of spelling Risembool. It's neither correct or incorrect.
