Neko-Nightmare
Disclaimer - I do not own any rights to Bleach. Tite Kubo is the original creator of the series, and all characters presented herein not of my own creation are his IP.
Warning - This is not a quality fanfic. I have created this just to see how horribly people react to it. And yes, I really did go there.
Byakukya Kuchiki looked down at the outfit. It was... rubbery, with fur on the outside, and a full-head mask. All black, obviously. It suited her style. There were even feet. "Explain to me again why you have given me... this... as a birthday present?"
Yoruichi Shihouin smiled. "Irony. And remember, I have immunity thanks to my part in defeating Aizen. Unless I attack first - which I won't - you can't touch me no matter what. Go ahead, try it on."
Captain Kuchiki looked at the bodysuit again. "You are openly and candidly asking me to strip down to my knickers and put on a full-body all-black latex neko catsuit with a tail, fake breasts, a mask and..."
He checked the lower part of the suit just to confirm his suspicions. "...Of course, it is perfectly accurate so far as anatomy goes."
He looked up at Yoruichi for her answer. It would be 'yes,' of course, and he would put it on because he didn't want to be disrespectful. "Yep."
Captain Kuchiki sighed. "Very well. But I am burning this thing later. I do not want to think what my mother would say if she found out about this."
At his urging Yoruichi left the room. She waited outside as she heard a sound like several layers of cloth hitting the floor, then the vibrating sound of cheap latex struggling over bare skin. There was a soft click as the mask went on and then...
The cracks sounded like bones shattering, there was a soft pop as if a soap bubble had burst, two sounds like a pair of balloons inflating, and a very distinct "Ow."
It was not Captain Kuchiki's voice. It was at least an octave and a half higher, more drawn out, and with a hint of purr to it. Byakukya Kuchiki stepped out of the room, his now-yellow eyes looking calmly at Yoruichi. The 'suit' was on, but from the way it moved it was obvious that it had, somehow or another, become one with him. He had shrunk several inches, and his tightly-shut Captain's haori couldn't disguise the fact that 'he' now had cleavage to put Rangiku Matsumoto to shame. His hair was still there, but otherwise he had completely become a female catgirl. "You knew this was going to happen, didn't you?"
Yoruichi, an expression on her face of evil glee, nodded. "And it's permanent. I asked Kisuke to make doubly sure of that, Bya-kun. Or Bya-chan, now, I guess."
Byakukya Kuchiki sighed. "At least it hasn't affected my mind. I would have killed you if that had happened. As it is the Captain-General will not be happy."
"Captain Kuchiki, can I ask you someth-"
Renji Abarai stopped in the doorway, his mouth open. "Wh... where's Captain Kuchiki?"
"What do you want, Renji?"
"Byakukya-san...?"
Renji snorted, then respectfully closed the door. The paper-thin walls did absolutely nothing to muffle his roaring laughter. "Add another to the hit list, Bya-chan."
"I hate you."
YES, I WENT THERE. READ, REVIEW, RANT, I DON'T CARE. If enough of you like it I'll do a follow-up chapter.