A/N This fic was written in collaboration with Hermione'sDaughter.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original characters or plotlines from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling.
Oh yeah, that's right. I can use this now. I'm not in Hogwarts anymore. Technology actually works.
Harry whipped out his Samsung Galaxy. The Dursleys had given it to him when they realised Dudley didn't want it. Until now, he had hated it. It was useless. It was second hand from Dudley because he had thrown it in a fit of rage when the wifi was too slow and now it had a cracked screen. Dudley had gotten an iPhone to replace it, and it was so much better.
Now, it might just save his life.
"Kids Helpline, how may we help you?" a friendly female voice said at the other end of the line.
"I'm in a bit of trouble here. This old guy has me pinned up against his father's grave, and he just said 'I can touch you now' and put his finger on my face. Is it just me, or is he being a bit of a paedophile? I'm petrified!" Harry motioned for Voldemort to wait a second while he talked. The Dark Lord sulked.
"Har-"
"Wait a second, will you? Can't you see I'm talking here?" Harry hissed at Voldemort. He turned his attention back to the phone. "See, he's just acting too bald for my liking. I think he may be dangerous."
"Is this a prank call?"
"No, I'm dead Sirius. I think I'm in Granger here. Am I being Muggled?"
"Okay, is he right there? Don't provoke him, no matter what."
"To be Frank, that's riddikulus. He nose nothing. He couldn't tell if I was provoking him or not. He's just in a really Crabbey Moody."
A/N I'm sorry. The puns are terrible. The idea that sparked this fic was the result of Hermione'sDaughter's and my boredom in English. Hopefully that explains some of the madness.
Hermione'sDaughter and I were wondering if you guys liked this fic, and maybe wanted us to make it a mini series of the same sorta stuff (maybe not all puns through)? If so, please tell us so we know if it's a good idea or not :)