Before Howard Cheats
A songfic from Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats"
Intro: We all know how much we love Howard and love to make OC girls fall in love with him, well, what if one found out about Howard's disloyalty?
This would happen…
Disclaimer: I still own nothing!
BOLD-What's going on
ITALICS-The lyrics
Melody arrives in front of Howard's house, she pulls a baseball bat from her bag and a key.
Right now, he's probably slow dancing with a silver blonde tramp and she's probably getting frisky,
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little cake cause she can't eat fishies
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a wooden sword, showing her how to kill a gnawer…
Howard's dancing in the pool hall with the other OC, buys her a drink, then starts teaching her a sword maneuver
And he don't know...
I dug my key into rock, outside of his house at the Fount
Carved my name into his shiny sword
I took a Louisville slugger to his first aid kit,
Slashed a hole in all his clothes
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Melody trashes Howard's stuff in a jealous rage.
Right now, she's probably up singing some
White-trash version of Shania karaoke...
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm sunk"
And he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that sweet-smelling lotion...
And he don't know...
The other OC is feeling rotten, so Howard starts applying sweet-smelling lotion on his arms, thinking he'll make her feel better by kissing her some more, OOC, I know. Melody continues to trash Howard's stuff.
I dug my key into rock, outside of his house at the Fount
Carved my name into his shiny sword
I took a Louisville slugger to his first aid kit,
Slashed a hole in all his clothes
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats...
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
No...Not on me
Cause I dug my key into rock, outside of his house at the Fount
Carved my name into his shiny sword
I took a Louisville slugger to his first aid kit,
Slashed a hole in all his clothes
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Oh... Maybe next time he'll think…before he cheats...
Ohh... before he cheats...
Melody walks into the pool hall and drops a few remains of his first aid kit in his drink, scowls and walks away, the other OC asks "Who was she?"
That's what he gets when he cheats….