Based on a prompt from tumblr: Sam + thinking about the archangel blade.
He's not sure what he expected. Something frightening, something powerful, something that crackles like lightening under his finger tips, the power of it running through this otherworldly metal, crafted by God's own hands.
An archangel blade is just a knife. Short and sharp. Simple.
It can kill some of the strongest creatures on the planet, and Sam has it in his hands.
If he'd had this little blade in his hands a few years ago, maybe… Maybe.
Things would have been simpler, that's for certain. No demon deals, no demon blood, no cage. No Lucifer. The first thought that popped into Sam's head when Ketch dropped Gabriel's blade onto the table: I can shove that through Lucifer's heart. Then his eye. Then his neck. Pierce his torso a few times for good measure, just to be sure. I could watch the life burn out of the corpse he's wearing in one blinding flash of light.
Sam turns it in his hands, inspects the tiny Enochian symbols etched into the metal. It's shorter than his own angel blade, the one he plucked from the fried vessel of some angel he doesn't remember the name of.
Across the room, Gabriel hasn't moved from his seat. The library is quiet, an arch angel's mouth un-sewn and clamped tight, and there's a rip in the universe at the back of the room.
Gabriel watches Sam turn the blade in his hands, trembling.
Sam could do it. He could kill an archangel here and now, if he wanted. He could make him feel the pain of a hundred Tuesdays. The agony of six lonely months, slowly losing his mind, unravelling like the loose thread on his shirt sleeve.
But Sam learned long ago that revenge isn't so sweet. It only opens new wounds. What would he gain by killing this creature before him, frightened like a rabbit with its leg caught in a trap?
Sam's too tired for revenge. He's done with killing simply for the feel of it. He wants rid of the stain in him, the memory of countless fizzled-out meat suits, another Jane or John Doe to end up in the morgue.
Sam looks at Gabriel and can't bring himself to feel angry. He barely feels anything anymore. He's just going through the motions, he learned his lines, he acts his part. This is my life and I love it.
Gabriel flinches as Sam places the blade on the table. He slinks out of his seat as Sam inches closer. Sam holds out his hand, slowly, gently.
"It's okay," he says. "I won't hurt you."
I'd love to hear your thoughts, not just about this ficlet but also about the show. Wasn't a fan of the recent episode, personally. Honestly, I almost quit the show during season 12 but have only really stuck around for the characters (mainly just Sam, let's be honest). The writing overall is disappointing for me and I feel this season has focused too much on underdeveloped villains and side-characters rather than on the Winchesters themselves. And don't get me started on the redemption arcs being handed out to any villain on screen (did you hear that the writers wanted Sam and Lucifer to have a sassy/banter type relationship but Jared put his foot down, thank goodness)
Sorry for my negative blabbing. If you're enjoying this season, don't let me ruin it for you. I just wanted to vent somewhere and hear what you might think. This ficlet was an insight into Sam's mind that I would really have liked to see.