First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who read my first fanfiction, 'Hair, Horses, Dancing and Battle'.
I'd like to especially thank DorothyDryad, NarniaGirl and Lollypop 8, as well as everyone else who reviewed. It really means a lot to me!
Prompt for story: Sometimes I just wish I had done things a different way, but then maybe things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.
I did sort of deviate from what I intended to do with this prompt, but I like how it turned out. I hope you do too.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or recognizable plot points that may be present within this story. I also do not own the prompt. All I own is the plot of this story, and some ideas that have been written here.
Edmund wasn't stupid. He may have, once, been ignorant, insolent and impertinent, but he was never stupid. Edmund was, in fact, exceptionally bright for his age.
He heard the whispers, the rumours. He was not naïve to them. He knew people talked about him behind his back. Before, he might've cornered them and beat them for doing such things, but while in Narnia, he had changed.
Gossip in the hallway always ceased as he drew near. He knew what they were talking about.
It wasn't until he heard the words 'Traitor King' for the first time, did he truly understand what they thought of him. They still thought him to be loyal to her. They still remembered when he sold out their secrets in exchange for a prize.
'What prize?' He thought darkly as he turned another page in the excessively long book of law that he had been studying the past few days. 'Sweets? A kingdom? To rule beside the Witch in her reign of terror with his siblings below him? To have all Narnians fear him, as they do now?' He suppressed a yawn as his eyes flickered over the page.
The moon stretched silver rays across the library, reminding Edmund of the winter they had escaped a few months ago.
The book of law was long and boring, but Edmund needed to learn this. He needed to prove himself to the Narnians, that he could be a good ruler. He knew many of the Talking Animals and Magical Creatures still didn't trust him. He didn't blame them.
In his mind, Edmund was still a traitor. He didn't deserve to be a king. He didn't deserve to have a crown, or a thrown. What had Aslan been thinking?
Flashes of memories tore through his mind, reminding him at once of who he used to be. Memories from Narnia, bright, beautiful, clear Narnia intermingled with memories from England. England, where it was dull and grey.
He thought that maybe he could try to be a different person here but realised that it was already too late for that. All of Narnia knew of his betrayal. That is why it was so important to Edmund that he become all that Aslan ordained him to be.
As the hours wore on, Edmund remained at his desk, flipping through the pages. Narnian law was complex, and although he had been studying the subject for months, he still didn't understand simple concepts.
So, he continued into the night. His eyes became heavy, and yawns became more frequent. He found himself staring at a paragraph for many long moments, not understanding a word. As the sun rose over Narnia, the young king finally succumbed to sleep.
When, in the morning, his youngest sister found him, he was sprawled over the book, still in his day clothes. The candle was still burning, although it had been reduced to almost nothing. His peaceful face showed his age; he did not look like a king, he looked like a mere boy. And so, Lucy was hesitant to wake him up. She hadn't seen him this peaceful since before the war in England started.
However, soon she decided it would be for his benefit that she wake him up.
"Edmund?" she whispered, shaking him gently. "Edmund, wake up."
Slowly blinking, he raised his head slightly, turning to look at her. "What's up Lu?"
She laughed, softly of course, for she knew that it was one of the worst things to be awoken by loud noise. "Good morning, Ed!"
He smiled at her, gently shutting his eyes again. "Morning, Lu."
She looked at the book that was resting under his head. "Please tell me you didn't stay up all night reading."
"Sorry," he said sheepishly, "I can't answer you there." He looked outside to the window, where the sun was already high in the sky. His eyebrows furrowed together. They sun shouldn't be up that high, or else... "Lu, what's the time?"
Lucy bit her lip. "Not too late, Ed."
He turned back to her with a sharp jerk of his head. "Lu, what's the time?"
"It's eleven." She gasped as he sat up suddenly, pushing back his chair with a screech and heading for the door immediately. Any signs of sleep were now gone from his face. "No, Ed. It's alright." She pushed against him as he tried to exit the room.
"Lucy, I've got a meeting!"
She shook her head. "Peter took care of it."
He scowled, though she knew it was not at her, or Peter. It was at himself. "Peter shouldn't have to take care of it. It's my job."
"Edmund, its alright. We knew how busy you've been lately, and the council understood. You're still only a boy Ed!" Exhaustion catching up with him, Edmund allowed Lucy to push him back into his chair. "It's only one meeting Ed, and it wasn't even a really important one."
"I should be there for my people, no matter if it's important or not." He fiddled with the hem of his tunic, an obvious sign that he was worrying about something. "The Narnians are never going to trust me if I don't take my responsibilities seriously."
Lucy looked to him in surprise. "Of course they trust you!"
The dark-haired boy gave Lucy a dry glance. "Lucy, don't lie, its unbecoming of you."
Lucy rolled her eyes. "Well maybe not all of them, but not everyone can trust us just yet Ed."
"It's not you guys they don't trust!" He shouted, giving Lucy quite a fright. "They trust Peter, and Susan. They definitely trust you. It's me they don't trust. I can hear them in the hallways, don't act like you don't hear it too. They don't trust me."
There was silence in the room as Lucy realised what this was all about. At first, she didn't want to mention it. She thought that maybe she could just boost his morale and carry on. If she was honest with herself, she didn't want to talk to him about it. Too many bad memories had been suppressed. Deep down though, she knew she had to. "Is it because of her?" Silence fell upon them again. Edmund continued to fiddle with his hem, glancing to the door as though he might be able to escape. "It is, isn't it? This whole thing, it's about her."
"Yes." It was said so quietly that Lucy almost didn't catch it. "Yes, this is about her." Shivers ran down his spine just talking about her, the scars on his body still a reminder of what had happened, memories still fresh in his mind. "This is about how all the Narnians know me as the Traitor King."
"Stop, Edmund, stop right there!" She urged him. Lucy knew it could be dangerous for Edmund to relive his betrayal, over the past few months her and her eldest siblings had tried hard to get Edmund out of this mindset. "You are no longer a traitor, Aslan forgave you. Aslan!" She didn't know whether her last cry was for Edmund to realise exactly who she was talking about, or a desperate cry to the lion to give her and her brother strength. "Edmund, you are forgiven!"
"Just because I'm forgiven doesn't mean my deeds are forgotten." Lucy collapsed into his lap, her small arms around his neck. "Just because Aslan forgave me, doesn't mean I still can't strive for the forgiveness of others. How can I rule Narnia if my subjects don't trust me? I feel like the Witch, Lucy! The Narnians trust me just as much as they trusted the Witch."
Lucy sobbed into his shoulder. She never knew he was this harsh on himself. To think he was like that horrid, evil woman. "Never compare yourself to the Witch, Edmund. You are nothing like her."
He pulled her away. "I'm sorry Lu. I didn't mean to make you upset." He looked off again to the sun shining into his room. "But Lucy, let me do this." She looked up to him, confused. "Let me prove myself. Even if it means that I stay up til dawn reading, or training until my body hurts. If it means sitting through boring meetings and putting my life on the line for my people." Everything around them become solemn, as if the world suddenly realised that the next words to come out of Edmund's mouth needed to be heard. "I promise, to always do my best for this kingdom, even if it means putting myself in harm, mental or physical. I promise that I will always strive to be able to deserve the forgiveness Aslan has given, and that I will always strive to make the Narnians trust me. I promise to never betray anyone ever again, least of all my King Aslan, my siblings or this land that I rule over. And I promise that I will never, ever stop trying to prove myself to my subjects. In Aslan's name, I promise all these things to you and to all of Narnia."
Lucy's breath caught in her throat. She knew at once that, although this promise wasn't made official to the court or to the High King, it was by no means not authentic. By promising in Aslan's name, Edmund had put everything he had received while in Narnia on the line lest he ever break the oath.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She couldn't understand how Edmund had not seen that he deserved all the forgiveness in the world. "Edmund…" She could not continue. The weight of the situation suddenly came crashing down onto her shoulders, and she sagged further into Edmund's comforting embrace. She thought to herself that perhaps it should be the other way around. She should be comforting him. But since returning from the White Witch, Edmund had made it his duty to be the older brother he hadn't been previously, and all his actions were reversed to what they had been in England.
"Okay, Edmund, but know this;" She straightened up as he looked at her with surprise written across his face. "You, Edmund, have changed. You are not the same boy who walked through that wardrobe. You are not the same boy who rode off with the witch. You are not the same boy who lived in England. But I'll tell you who you are;" she paused. "You are the same boy that fought alongside the Narnians at the Battle at Beruna. You are the same boy who studies for hours at a time. You are the same boy who has already gained the respect of so many Narnians." She swallowed, hesitant for her next words. "You are the same boy who laid down his life to stop the Witch."
Edmund closed his eyes. If he thought hard enough, he could still feel the Witch's wand piercing his body.
Lucy continued, "You are the same boy who Aslan crowned as King of Narnia. And Aslan doesn't make mistakes, Edmund." The young boy lifted his head at the mention of Aslan's name. "You are the same boy who I know will grow to be a great king."
Edmund leapt forward, and held Lucy in a tight embrace. "Thank you." She simply smiled at him.
At once, she wiped the tears from her eyes and hopped down from Edmund's lap. She held her hand out to him, standing tall in a way only a queen could. "Dear brother, would you escort me to lunch with our beloved older siblings?"
Edmund smiled, grateful in the change of conversation. "Of course, my queen." And together they left Edmund's quarters to where their brother and sister would most likely be waiting for them.
Neither of them spoke of the conversation they had. Neither of them spoke of the oath that Edmund swore in the name of Aslan to Lucy. However, everyone around him could see the oath in action. Edmund applied himself diligently to everything he did, whether it be trivial or not. And after a few years of the siblings' rule, most Narnians had completely forgotten of Edmund's betrayal, and those who did remember couldn't bring themselves to care, as he had become known as a great ruler throughout all the land.
And while the years passed on, Edmund and Lucy still remembered the oath he had sworn.
Lucy often thought that while Edmund had been the Traitor King, he was very much now the Just King.