Chapter 1: Alone and Goodbye
The escape Aria had felt in Iceland was now gone. Being back in Rosewood had a larger impact than she thought. Aria had believed if she left the place with so many memories that when she got back, the memories would disappear. However, the picture of Allison hanging on the wall of the town bar was a reminder that her past would always be with her. Surrounding her. Suffocating her.
"You all right, down there?" said a voice to Aria's right luckily interrupting her thoughts. He was a curly haired brunette. He waited by bringing his beer up to his lips. Over twenty-one. Aria took notice.
"I'm a bit jet-lagged," Aria responded. "I just got back from Europe."
"Where in Europe," he questioned with ease allowing the conversation to keep rolling.
"Iceland," Aria tapped on the table with her fingers. She cursed herself for not being better at conversing. She did not want to seem naïve and incapable.
"I spent some time in Reykjavik," the two people kept their eyes forward occasionally smiling down at their drinks. "Before I went to Amsterdam. It's a great city," he said allowing them to bond over something.
"So, do you go to Hollis?" Aria questioned. She was beginning to feel comfortable with this stranger. The conversation was easy.
Aria sat so still, she thought her legs might start shaking from her tightened muscles. She knew Ezra was doing his best to keep his voice still as she was trying to still her body. But relaxing was going to be impossible. The forty-five minutes of AP Language and Composition was going to be hell for both of them.
Aria, unlike most girls her age, could deal with hardships and struggles. However, these complications were usually other people's complications. She had practically raised her younger brother and lately, she seemed to be the parental figure over her mom and dad as well.
The class was talking about the novel, How to Kill a Mockingbird, which they were all supposed to have read over the summer. Aria, of course, read it in the beginning of the summer and again on the plane ride back from Iceland so she could talk about it in the class in detail. For once in an English class, Aria did not say a word. She did not know what would come out if she opened her mouth. She wished she could talk. She had learned class goes by faster when you dictate the conversation. Aria was a relatively quiet child, nothing like Emily, but she had her moments. English class was the place where Aria let go, which was kind of ironic now when she thought about it.
When the bell finally rung, Aria hid by Emily on the out. She told herself to forget about him. Just go through the day without thinking of him. It would be easier. Well that was clearly not the case. She could not concentrate on what any of her teachers were saying nor fellow classmates.
She needed to see him. Or even better talk to him. Feel him. She found herself asking teachers to go to the bathroom so she could sneak a peek at him. Check if he had a class. Aria talked herself into waiting after school so she could see him without anyone interrupting.
When lunch came around however, she was drawn to his room instead of seeing how her friends had separated.
They shared small smiles as she opened the door into the class room.
"You told me you went to Hollis," Ezra started.
"I said I was thinking of majoring in English and that's true," Aria responded tightly.
"Look, I think you're amazing, Aria," Aria knew a 'but' was coming. "When I first met you I thought 'Who is this girl?'
Aria could help but smile. No one had told her something like that, especially after one meeting. This could mean they had a chance. That he was willing. Aria reached out because go knows no one had made her feel the way he had.
"I'm still that girl. Nothing's changed." But everything had changed. She knew it had, too. But denying it gave her hope that something could still happen between them.
"Yes. Yes, it has," Ezra denied her that hope. "I'm your teacher."
"I know it's not just me," she fought. "You- you feel like this is right for us too."
"It's not right," those words rung in Aria's ears as Ezra slipped his hand out from under hers. "We just can't." Ezra got out of his chair and practically leapt for the door leaving Aria speechless, angry, and above all-alone.
Aria was in a daze, with all that was happening around her and the whole Ezra problem, she could not seem to focus on real life. She kept second guessing her love for Ezra. She was a child. No, she believed she was not acting like one, but seeing homework spilling out of her purse probably did not help Ezra see her as an equal.
Her black dress and tights seemed to match her state as Aria watched mourners flow into the church. Aria was glad or at least thankful to the goodbye to Alison. She needed one thing in her life to be set. To be done. She needed something that was out of her control to be over with.
"Was she a friend of yours?" said a voice behind Aria. Ezra, in black and white suit. Aria flinched internally.
"Do you care?"
"I don't know what I feel worse about," he sighed. "Having to stay away from you or being a jerk about it. "
"Yeah," Aria felt like she had to give a bit of an apology. "She was one of my best friends."
"I'm sorry," Ezra said earnestly.
"For Alison, or for being a jerk?"
"Both," he said without hesitation.
"thank you." Aria wished he would stop looking at her with his green eyes fully on her, a gentle smile as if he knew her every move before she did it.
So now it was Aria's time to apologize. "I would never want to do anything that would get you in trouble."
Ezra smiled in return but knew that she finally agreed with him, which meant they were officially done. Aria kissed him goodbye. But it wasn't the goodbye he wanted. Ezra could not take it.
"Goodbye, Ezra."
She is the same girl he fell in love with at the bar that night. The same girl who loved the same things he did. The music, the books, the experience she had from traveling- that was who Aria was. And Ezra was compelled by her.
So that kiss on the cheek was not enough. He needed more. He wouldn't let her get away this time.