Miyumi
Tears Upon My Face
A Justice League fic
A/N: This is pretty dark, and pretty deep. Rating maybe should be R, but I'm chancing it. Watch out for language and abuse. This is not a light fic.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the evil Katar.
~*~
"You're awake."
It had been many years since I had last seen Katar in person. While aboard my prison ship, it was a different man who watched me. Katar refused to see me, until now.
During that exile of mine on Earth, my only contact was in secret, maintained through badly equipped monitors I kept hidden. Jon never saw them in my room-I never let him search.
Flash was the one who figured it out.
He was the one no one suspected. The stupid kid ruined my life. He searched my room, tearing it apart while I was on a mission, putting everything back together in a blink of the eye. I was tired and didn't notice the way everything seemed slightly out of place.
He was the one who told Superman. He told Diana, who locked me in a cell within the Watchtower. Her jewel-bright eyes sparkled with tears when she escorted me. Her grips on my arms were tight-she treated me like a criminal, instead of the friend I once was.
Then again, I nearly handed the Earth over to Thanagar.
J'onn was my jail keeper for weeks, his gaze never once meeting my own. They all knew I was a traitor, but they just couldn't accept it. Batman dealt with it the best-out of the entire League, he never trusted me. He said there was something in my eyes. I didn't care, though. I put on my mask, pretending I was stranded, that I couldn't get home, that I was just a poor, misguided detective.
They were so thick, not seeing through my pathetic farce.
I knew Jon was going crazy with the invasion plans. As J'onn told me one lonely day, he had locked himself in his quarters, almost taking a gun to his head. He was driven mad by my betrayal, and wrestled with either killing me or himself. I betrayed the man I loved. I deserved to die by my lover's hand.
Then again, he never knew the whole story. He never knew why I was a spy for Thanagar. How I was chained to my fiancé, who ironically was my keeper once I was in prison aboard the return ship.
I no longer called Thanagar my home. I had been away for too long and loved the Earth too much. Nothing could make me forget that planet, with it's simple people, so evil and yet loving.
I could never forget Jon. The last time I saw him, two officers had me bound by electric cuffs, walking me briskly up the ship's deck. He stood with the rest of the League, who made sure Thanagar didn't pull a fast one, and attack the Earth again. His eyes flickered on me. He saw my face, beaten ruthlessly by the guards. Bruises and cuts littered my body, standing as my battle scars. His eyes were guarded and angry. He blamed himself for my betrayal. He knew that I was too good to be true.
The invasion was fast, but not fast enough for me. I broke down just two days before the attack fleet arrived, and the Earth managed to fight off the armada. The Thanagarian force was defeated, and the planet was safe once again. Thanks to the Justice League, minus me. I was in lock-down, forbidden to participate on any side.
Jon was in charge of me that night. He refused to fight, choosing instead to stay with me, playing against my already guilty conscious. He wanted me to suffer, as he did.
But now, I opened my eyes slowly, Katar's face blurrily forming within my sight. His smile was wicked, something that once made my heart race. My eyes set boldly against his. I was a stupid, brassy detective back then.
In this moment, I was on death row, being tried for treason against the special forces of Thanagar. I was a mole, and would pay for my crime. I told our plan, even gave information about Thanagarian weaknesses, just so the Earth and the League had an edge. The edge helped them win, and Katar was furious.
"Here we are again, Shayera. Just the two of us, in the interrogation room. Bring back any memories about questioning some kind of scum? A traitor, maybe? Oh wait, this time, you are the traitor. Ironic, isn't it? The great detective Shayera-"
"One more word, and your head is mine, Katar."
He raised a slim, dark eyebrow. "Who is asking the questions, Shay?"
I lowered my head. "Don't call me that."
He grabbed my chin, holding it tightly. "Look at me when I talk to you, detective."
I wrenched my face away. "Don't touch me."
He removed his hand. "You once loved my touch. What happened, did you screw some human? Have any fun on that dung heap of a planet?"
"I'm not yours. I never was."
His laugh was cold. "Yes, you were," he sneered. "You were mine, and I owned you completely." He threw up his hands, pacing slowly in front of me. "But that wasn't enough, was it? You had to sleep with some Earthling, and get attached as well. Gotten weak, haven't you?"
"I loved Jon."
He spat, barely missing me. "Love is for fools. Didn't cop life ever teach you that?"
My lack of response angered him.
"You just don't get it, do you? You betrayed your planet, you ruined our invasion plans, and worst of all, you sinned with a kind lower than our own."
"Humans are not inferior. They are evil and can be stupid-but there are good ones. Jon was one. He was perfect." I wish Jon could hear my words. I wish he could hear me sticking up for him.
I wish I were with him, instead of here on Thanagar.
"Perfection is a Thanagarian, not an Earthling." The words dripped acid.
"If you knew him, you would have known. Jon was the one I chose, and not you." My voice steadied, and I tried to raise my chains. "You're just mad because I didn't pick you."
His hands were around my throat within seconds. I had forgotten how fast he was, and soon my breathing became staggered. I choked for air, coughing and sputtering like someone drowning.
"You listen to me right now. I could break your neck in just five seconds. Taunt me any further, and I will."
My eyes became glassy with tears. "You can't hurt me. I'm not afraid of you any more."
His eyes narrowed to slits as he slowly released my throat. I longed to rub the marks that burned my throat painfully. I also wanted to lunge at him, killing him within two seconds using my mace.
But that was chance, as my life, would soon be gone.
Katar began walking, pacing like a true hawk would, circling his prey before catching it. He licked his lips, the traditional smirk he wore masking his fury. He could kill me-I could see it in his eyes. But he wouldn't. Not before he "played" with me, first.
Katar was physically one of the best members of the Special Forces unit. But psychologically, he was even better. He could outsmart any criminal, or psych them out half to death. I shivered each time he mentally killed one of his victims, the pieces of scum that we brought in. Katar was once my supervisor, and then partner.
And six months later, fiancé.
Years after I said yes, I don't know why I'm in this position. Many years ago, I thought I was the luckiest Thanagarian ever. I was going to marry a handsome officer and live happily ever after. I thought my Earth mission was a sign of love, proving that he trusted only me with the tough, top- secret assignments.
Katar stopped suddenly, his eyes lighting up. I cringed, because I knew he had an evil, wicked idea. Katar loved to see his criminals squirm, and now I was one of them. He wanted to torture me mentally, play upon my weaknesses.
"You are probably wondering where your darling daughter is, aren't you?"
My head snapped up. I hadn't seen her since we were brought aboard. I was taken to one of the lower level cells, she to another. I screamed that these officers were just as evil as the lowest criminal, handling a child like that. My daughter was only a baby-she didn't know what was going on.
I hadn't seen her for years. She would have been five, by now at least. They kept me locked in the ship at all times, and must have taken her to a separate cell. When we docked back on Thanagar, I remained aboard, with a full guard. Katar came later, of course.
Tears refilled my eyes-I couldn't die without seeing my daughter one last time. They had to give me that right-even Katar wouldn't be that cruel. If my daughter and I were to die, I'd want to be with her. Otherwise, I would never forgive myself in the afterlife.
Katar turned to me. "Feisty little girl. Fought and clawed my two best officers like a mangy, smaller version of you."
His words stung, but I didn't care. I had to know where she was.
"Where is my daughter." It was a demand, not a question.
He smiled, Cheshire-Cat style. "I'll tell you." He slammed his fist against the door, shouting for an officer. Immediately the door opened, and a small, but still breathing body was thrown in. My daughter's body crumpled to the ground, her wings plucked and beaten mercilessly. I lunged for her in vain, for the chains that held my hands only backlashed, sending my flying against the stonewall. The sound woke her up. Her eyes looked up slowly. My beautiful baby girl had grown up.
"Mommy." she cried, reaching pitifully for my limp body. Her voice was weak, her body strained almost to the point of death. I couldn't believe they would treat a child like that.
Katar grabbed her arm, flinging the tiny body at mine. I cried out painfully as she hit me, groaning softly as her hand clasped mine. I tried to mask my pain, tried to put on a brave face for my frightened daughter. I had to be brave for the both of us.
"Sara," I murmured, trying to comfort my weeping child. She cried into my chest, holding me like any other girl her age would. She clung to me, never looking at Katar, who appeared disgusted at the waterfall of tears. My hand, scarred and traced with dried blood, stroked her head, where a fountain of soft, auburn hair fell down past her shoulders. She looked older than her age of five, and had acted unreasonably brave until now. The last time I had seen her, she was only a year old, barely a baby out of my arms.
Her skin was darker than mine, the color of polished mahogany wood. Her hair was dark like mine, but she had Jon's eyes. Eyes that looked out into the world with optimism. But these eyes were wet with tears, red from little sleep, and defeated. She was only five, and crumbled easier than I did. I had the training of a Thanagarian detective. She was just a child, unexposed to such a Hell.
"This is touching," smirked Katar, watching me hold my daughter. "But don't worry. She was in the best of hands."
I stopped. "What did you do to her?"
Katar waved my words aside. "Nothing, you sick whore. She has been in isolation the entire time. She grew up, and now she's back with you." He crossed his arms. "You should be thanking me. I arranged this get together."
I spat at him. "You're a monster, Katar. Touch her, and I'll claw you to death." I held up a bloodstained hand. "Don't think I won't."
Sara put my arm down. "No more fighting, please, Mommy." Her eyes became hopeful. "Can we please, please, go home now? I-I want to see Daddy."
Katar heaved a painful sigh. "Oh, what a pity. The little half-breed doesn't remember her father. Shay, how could you do that?"
Sara began to cry again. My hands itched to hurt him, to make him take back his words. To make him suffer.
"Her father was a noble man. Nothing like the freak you are."
His tone became angrier. "Her father was a black-skinned Earth man, not a distinguished official like I."
"Her father was the Green Lantern of the Earth sector."
Surprise crossed Katar's face for a moment. "You are more of a prostitute than I thought. You slept with a Green Lantern." He raised a hand to strike Sara. "And this is the result of that fling."
I covered her frail body with my own, taking the blow that was meant for my daughter. I howled in pain, thinking that I couldn't take much more of this. I knew I was going to die soon.
"I loved Jon," I said quietly, my back searing with pain. "I never loved any other person more than him."
"Liar," hissed Katar.
"I married him!" I screamed, losing my temper. "I married him and had a child. That is not a crime!"
I remember that day well. I felt no guilt marrying Jon, because I had stopped all contact with Thanagar. I didn't betray my planet. I grew up, and dropped them. I wasn't some innocent detective anymore, in utter awe of my superior officer. I was a grown woman, and chose my own path.
It was just a civil ceremony, taking place in the Watchtower. Diana let me borrow an outfit, a beautiful navy blue dress that clung to my growing belly. I was two months along with Sara when I married Jon. Our only witnesses were Superman, Diana, Flash, J'onn, and Batman. There are only two pictures of that day, both still back on Earth. I wonder if Jon burned them.
Katar stopped, shaken slightly. "You married an Earth man? You married an Earth man?" He kicked a piece of dirt aside. "You could have had me."
"I would die before having you."
"Bitch."
"Monster."
"This is getting old, Shay."
"You're a sick, twisted, insane bastard, Katar. Nothing will ever change that."
He pointed a shaky finger at me. "And you are Thanagar's greatest whore. To think I wanted to marry you sickens me."
"You? Sickened? Who is the one holding me captive, keeping my daughter from me for almost four years? Who is beating me senseless, enjoying my slow, painful death? Who took me from my husband and home?"
"Thanagar is your home," he responded bitterly.
I raised my head. "No. Earth was my home. I was loved there, and I treasured that." My head turned towards the door, where the outside world rested. "Unlike here, where only the strong survive and the weak die alone."
Katar kicked me. "Do not speak of Thanagar in that tone. You are lucky to be alive, as is your daughter."
"I don't take charity, especially from maniacs like you."
Katar began to approach me, obviously irritated. Sara slid behind me, her tiny body trembling. His shadow fell over us, eyes glinted maliciously. A small knife glittered in the fading sunlight, shining in through a small window high above me. I began to shake as he held the knife against my neck, barely nicking the scarred skin. Rope burns from my capture years ago burned against the cold metal. I wanted to scream.
I bit my lip instead. Salty blood and bile rushed into my mouth. I kept my silence, infuriating Katar. He wanted me to scream, to cave.
"This ends now, Shay. You and your daughter will die like the traitors you are."
"She didn't do anything, Katar. She's just a casualty-send her back to Earth, to her father."
"Why would I do a compassionate thing like that? I'm done doing you favors."
"Favors." My words were ugly now, full of rage.
"I'm just surprised you lasted this long. Most prisoners can't keep their own for over four years in this heap."
I hadn't known I been here so long. Had it already been four years?
"I'm not in prison. I've been kept aboard a docked ship, like I'm a class A criminal. You treat me like I'm a sociopath, a murderer. I killed no one."
"You ruined our plans."
"We were wrong to manipulate the Earth. Why can't you see that?"
"Enough!" He raised a hand, hesitating to strike me. My eyes glared defiance, almost daring him to hit me again. Why should he stop now? He'd hit me so many times before; one more wouldn't kill him.
It'd kill me, instead.
"You don't know why I'm here, do you?"
"To silence me. I'm not stupid."
"You were stupid enough to have filthy offspring."
"My daughter is not filthy."
"Speak for yourself. She is ugly, dirty, and carries the stain of an Earth man."
My voice lowered to a threatening growl. "Never talk about my child in that tone. Ever."
"You can't talk to me like that."
"Watch me."
"Insolent hussy," he whispered. "You and your mistake will die right here, right now."
"You should have killed me years ago, Katar. When I was still yours to order around."
"Shut up."
I knew I had an edge over him. His ego was being played, and he hated it. "Admit it. I'm not yours anymore. You can't tell me what to do, where to go, even how to live my life. I learned that freedom is mine to take, not for you to decide for me."
"Lies you learned on Earth."
"I'm not your servant, and never was."
"Your cheek will not be tolerated."
"I don't have to listen to you."
"Silence!"
My voice rose. "I'll never be quiet, and you can't silence me, or my daughter. We'll escape, and get back to Earth. We'll be happy, and you can live in your misery, here on Thanagar. You-"
A loud blast cut me off. Behind me, the now lifeless body of my daughter crumbled into my chained arms. Sara's eyes were closed, her face frozen in pain. She died because I couldn't save her. Katar's gunshot rung in my ears.
I couldn't stand it anymore.
"How dare you!" I shrieked, crushing Sara's body against mine. "You should have killed me, not her!"
The smoke from Katar's gun disappeared. He loaded another shell, aiming it towards me. "We are done, Shay. Any last words for the traitor?"
I spat at his feet. "Just wait and see. You'll die a miserable death, and I'll be at the source of it."
"You can't kill me if you're already dead."
"Jon will come for us."
"No one will come for. Your daughter is dead. You are going to be dead. These words are madness."
"Maybe I am mad. But I was insane enough to escape from this nightmare, and actually live my life with love and freedom. I-"
A single gunshot crackled through the air. Cold metal seared through my body as the bullet shot through my body, bouncing off the wall and falling with a clink to the floor. Katar's face began to blur. The sickly sweet smell of blood filled the air, as I slumped to the floor. A pool of blood seeped into my hair and mouth. I could feel life slipping through my fingers.
I fell over Sara's body, my hopes for her gone. I wanted her to grow up happy, in a peaceful world. I didn't want her to die because I couldn't protect her.
All I've ever wanted is happiness for my child, my husband, and myself. These dreams are ruined, all because of a mistake I made so long ago. I chose to fall in love Katar, and take on the mission that eventually led me here, to my death. I chose to betray my husband, and make my young daughter a martyr. I wanted Sara to see her father one last time before she died. Now she was dead, and I was dying with her.
I had only hoped for one other thing, as of this moment, of this day, of this situation.
I wanted to tell Jon I loved him.
~*~
A/N 2: rough fic, I know. I've rated it PG-13, but I really think it should be R, just because Katar is a complete bastard. I admit, this sort resembles Crumble in my LXG fics, but focuses on different themes: It's more violent. Even Jonathon and Mr. Murray weren't this abusive. The theme of abuse is prevalent in both, I've noticed. Please be kind and review-but not if you have something utterly ridiculous to say, like, a flame.
Tears Upon My Face
A Justice League fic
A/N: This is pretty dark, and pretty deep. Rating maybe should be R, but I'm chancing it. Watch out for language and abuse. This is not a light fic.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the evil Katar.
~*~
"You're awake."
It had been many years since I had last seen Katar in person. While aboard my prison ship, it was a different man who watched me. Katar refused to see me, until now.
During that exile of mine on Earth, my only contact was in secret, maintained through badly equipped monitors I kept hidden. Jon never saw them in my room-I never let him search.
Flash was the one who figured it out.
He was the one no one suspected. The stupid kid ruined my life. He searched my room, tearing it apart while I was on a mission, putting everything back together in a blink of the eye. I was tired and didn't notice the way everything seemed slightly out of place.
He was the one who told Superman. He told Diana, who locked me in a cell within the Watchtower. Her jewel-bright eyes sparkled with tears when she escorted me. Her grips on my arms were tight-she treated me like a criminal, instead of the friend I once was.
Then again, I nearly handed the Earth over to Thanagar.
J'onn was my jail keeper for weeks, his gaze never once meeting my own. They all knew I was a traitor, but they just couldn't accept it. Batman dealt with it the best-out of the entire League, he never trusted me. He said there was something in my eyes. I didn't care, though. I put on my mask, pretending I was stranded, that I couldn't get home, that I was just a poor, misguided detective.
They were so thick, not seeing through my pathetic farce.
I knew Jon was going crazy with the invasion plans. As J'onn told me one lonely day, he had locked himself in his quarters, almost taking a gun to his head. He was driven mad by my betrayal, and wrestled with either killing me or himself. I betrayed the man I loved. I deserved to die by my lover's hand.
Then again, he never knew the whole story. He never knew why I was a spy for Thanagar. How I was chained to my fiancé, who ironically was my keeper once I was in prison aboard the return ship.
I no longer called Thanagar my home. I had been away for too long and loved the Earth too much. Nothing could make me forget that planet, with it's simple people, so evil and yet loving.
I could never forget Jon. The last time I saw him, two officers had me bound by electric cuffs, walking me briskly up the ship's deck. He stood with the rest of the League, who made sure Thanagar didn't pull a fast one, and attack the Earth again. His eyes flickered on me. He saw my face, beaten ruthlessly by the guards. Bruises and cuts littered my body, standing as my battle scars. His eyes were guarded and angry. He blamed himself for my betrayal. He knew that I was too good to be true.
The invasion was fast, but not fast enough for me. I broke down just two days before the attack fleet arrived, and the Earth managed to fight off the armada. The Thanagarian force was defeated, and the planet was safe once again. Thanks to the Justice League, minus me. I was in lock-down, forbidden to participate on any side.
Jon was in charge of me that night. He refused to fight, choosing instead to stay with me, playing against my already guilty conscious. He wanted me to suffer, as he did.
But now, I opened my eyes slowly, Katar's face blurrily forming within my sight. His smile was wicked, something that once made my heart race. My eyes set boldly against his. I was a stupid, brassy detective back then.
In this moment, I was on death row, being tried for treason against the special forces of Thanagar. I was a mole, and would pay for my crime. I told our plan, even gave information about Thanagarian weaknesses, just so the Earth and the League had an edge. The edge helped them win, and Katar was furious.
"Here we are again, Shayera. Just the two of us, in the interrogation room. Bring back any memories about questioning some kind of scum? A traitor, maybe? Oh wait, this time, you are the traitor. Ironic, isn't it? The great detective Shayera-"
"One more word, and your head is mine, Katar."
He raised a slim, dark eyebrow. "Who is asking the questions, Shay?"
I lowered my head. "Don't call me that."
He grabbed my chin, holding it tightly. "Look at me when I talk to you, detective."
I wrenched my face away. "Don't touch me."
He removed his hand. "You once loved my touch. What happened, did you screw some human? Have any fun on that dung heap of a planet?"
"I'm not yours. I never was."
His laugh was cold. "Yes, you were," he sneered. "You were mine, and I owned you completely." He threw up his hands, pacing slowly in front of me. "But that wasn't enough, was it? You had to sleep with some Earthling, and get attached as well. Gotten weak, haven't you?"
"I loved Jon."
He spat, barely missing me. "Love is for fools. Didn't cop life ever teach you that?"
My lack of response angered him.
"You just don't get it, do you? You betrayed your planet, you ruined our invasion plans, and worst of all, you sinned with a kind lower than our own."
"Humans are not inferior. They are evil and can be stupid-but there are good ones. Jon was one. He was perfect." I wish Jon could hear my words. I wish he could hear me sticking up for him.
I wish I were with him, instead of here on Thanagar.
"Perfection is a Thanagarian, not an Earthling." The words dripped acid.
"If you knew him, you would have known. Jon was the one I chose, and not you." My voice steadied, and I tried to raise my chains. "You're just mad because I didn't pick you."
His hands were around my throat within seconds. I had forgotten how fast he was, and soon my breathing became staggered. I choked for air, coughing and sputtering like someone drowning.
"You listen to me right now. I could break your neck in just five seconds. Taunt me any further, and I will."
My eyes became glassy with tears. "You can't hurt me. I'm not afraid of you any more."
His eyes narrowed to slits as he slowly released my throat. I longed to rub the marks that burned my throat painfully. I also wanted to lunge at him, killing him within two seconds using my mace.
But that was chance, as my life, would soon be gone.
Katar began walking, pacing like a true hawk would, circling his prey before catching it. He licked his lips, the traditional smirk he wore masking his fury. He could kill me-I could see it in his eyes. But he wouldn't. Not before he "played" with me, first.
Katar was physically one of the best members of the Special Forces unit. But psychologically, he was even better. He could outsmart any criminal, or psych them out half to death. I shivered each time he mentally killed one of his victims, the pieces of scum that we brought in. Katar was once my supervisor, and then partner.
And six months later, fiancé.
Years after I said yes, I don't know why I'm in this position. Many years ago, I thought I was the luckiest Thanagarian ever. I was going to marry a handsome officer and live happily ever after. I thought my Earth mission was a sign of love, proving that he trusted only me with the tough, top- secret assignments.
Katar stopped suddenly, his eyes lighting up. I cringed, because I knew he had an evil, wicked idea. Katar loved to see his criminals squirm, and now I was one of them. He wanted to torture me mentally, play upon my weaknesses.
"You are probably wondering where your darling daughter is, aren't you?"
My head snapped up. I hadn't seen her since we were brought aboard. I was taken to one of the lower level cells, she to another. I screamed that these officers were just as evil as the lowest criminal, handling a child like that. My daughter was only a baby-she didn't know what was going on.
I hadn't seen her for years. She would have been five, by now at least. They kept me locked in the ship at all times, and must have taken her to a separate cell. When we docked back on Thanagar, I remained aboard, with a full guard. Katar came later, of course.
Tears refilled my eyes-I couldn't die without seeing my daughter one last time. They had to give me that right-even Katar wouldn't be that cruel. If my daughter and I were to die, I'd want to be with her. Otherwise, I would never forgive myself in the afterlife.
Katar turned to me. "Feisty little girl. Fought and clawed my two best officers like a mangy, smaller version of you."
His words stung, but I didn't care. I had to know where she was.
"Where is my daughter." It was a demand, not a question.
He smiled, Cheshire-Cat style. "I'll tell you." He slammed his fist against the door, shouting for an officer. Immediately the door opened, and a small, but still breathing body was thrown in. My daughter's body crumpled to the ground, her wings plucked and beaten mercilessly. I lunged for her in vain, for the chains that held my hands only backlashed, sending my flying against the stonewall. The sound woke her up. Her eyes looked up slowly. My beautiful baby girl had grown up.
"Mommy." she cried, reaching pitifully for my limp body. Her voice was weak, her body strained almost to the point of death. I couldn't believe they would treat a child like that.
Katar grabbed her arm, flinging the tiny body at mine. I cried out painfully as she hit me, groaning softly as her hand clasped mine. I tried to mask my pain, tried to put on a brave face for my frightened daughter. I had to be brave for the both of us.
"Sara," I murmured, trying to comfort my weeping child. She cried into my chest, holding me like any other girl her age would. She clung to me, never looking at Katar, who appeared disgusted at the waterfall of tears. My hand, scarred and traced with dried blood, stroked her head, where a fountain of soft, auburn hair fell down past her shoulders. She looked older than her age of five, and had acted unreasonably brave until now. The last time I had seen her, she was only a year old, barely a baby out of my arms.
Her skin was darker than mine, the color of polished mahogany wood. Her hair was dark like mine, but she had Jon's eyes. Eyes that looked out into the world with optimism. But these eyes were wet with tears, red from little sleep, and defeated. She was only five, and crumbled easier than I did. I had the training of a Thanagarian detective. She was just a child, unexposed to such a Hell.
"This is touching," smirked Katar, watching me hold my daughter. "But don't worry. She was in the best of hands."
I stopped. "What did you do to her?"
Katar waved my words aside. "Nothing, you sick whore. She has been in isolation the entire time. She grew up, and now she's back with you." He crossed his arms. "You should be thanking me. I arranged this get together."
I spat at him. "You're a monster, Katar. Touch her, and I'll claw you to death." I held up a bloodstained hand. "Don't think I won't."
Sara put my arm down. "No more fighting, please, Mommy." Her eyes became hopeful. "Can we please, please, go home now? I-I want to see Daddy."
Katar heaved a painful sigh. "Oh, what a pity. The little half-breed doesn't remember her father. Shay, how could you do that?"
Sara began to cry again. My hands itched to hurt him, to make him take back his words. To make him suffer.
"Her father was a noble man. Nothing like the freak you are."
His tone became angrier. "Her father was a black-skinned Earth man, not a distinguished official like I."
"Her father was the Green Lantern of the Earth sector."
Surprise crossed Katar's face for a moment. "You are more of a prostitute than I thought. You slept with a Green Lantern." He raised a hand to strike Sara. "And this is the result of that fling."
I covered her frail body with my own, taking the blow that was meant for my daughter. I howled in pain, thinking that I couldn't take much more of this. I knew I was going to die soon.
"I loved Jon," I said quietly, my back searing with pain. "I never loved any other person more than him."
"Liar," hissed Katar.
"I married him!" I screamed, losing my temper. "I married him and had a child. That is not a crime!"
I remember that day well. I felt no guilt marrying Jon, because I had stopped all contact with Thanagar. I didn't betray my planet. I grew up, and dropped them. I wasn't some innocent detective anymore, in utter awe of my superior officer. I was a grown woman, and chose my own path.
It was just a civil ceremony, taking place in the Watchtower. Diana let me borrow an outfit, a beautiful navy blue dress that clung to my growing belly. I was two months along with Sara when I married Jon. Our only witnesses were Superman, Diana, Flash, J'onn, and Batman. There are only two pictures of that day, both still back on Earth. I wonder if Jon burned them.
Katar stopped, shaken slightly. "You married an Earth man? You married an Earth man?" He kicked a piece of dirt aside. "You could have had me."
"I would die before having you."
"Bitch."
"Monster."
"This is getting old, Shay."
"You're a sick, twisted, insane bastard, Katar. Nothing will ever change that."
He pointed a shaky finger at me. "And you are Thanagar's greatest whore. To think I wanted to marry you sickens me."
"You? Sickened? Who is the one holding me captive, keeping my daughter from me for almost four years? Who is beating me senseless, enjoying my slow, painful death? Who took me from my husband and home?"
"Thanagar is your home," he responded bitterly.
I raised my head. "No. Earth was my home. I was loved there, and I treasured that." My head turned towards the door, where the outside world rested. "Unlike here, where only the strong survive and the weak die alone."
Katar kicked me. "Do not speak of Thanagar in that tone. You are lucky to be alive, as is your daughter."
"I don't take charity, especially from maniacs like you."
Katar began to approach me, obviously irritated. Sara slid behind me, her tiny body trembling. His shadow fell over us, eyes glinted maliciously. A small knife glittered in the fading sunlight, shining in through a small window high above me. I began to shake as he held the knife against my neck, barely nicking the scarred skin. Rope burns from my capture years ago burned against the cold metal. I wanted to scream.
I bit my lip instead. Salty blood and bile rushed into my mouth. I kept my silence, infuriating Katar. He wanted me to scream, to cave.
"This ends now, Shay. You and your daughter will die like the traitors you are."
"She didn't do anything, Katar. She's just a casualty-send her back to Earth, to her father."
"Why would I do a compassionate thing like that? I'm done doing you favors."
"Favors." My words were ugly now, full of rage.
"I'm just surprised you lasted this long. Most prisoners can't keep their own for over four years in this heap."
I hadn't known I been here so long. Had it already been four years?
"I'm not in prison. I've been kept aboard a docked ship, like I'm a class A criminal. You treat me like I'm a sociopath, a murderer. I killed no one."
"You ruined our plans."
"We were wrong to manipulate the Earth. Why can't you see that?"
"Enough!" He raised a hand, hesitating to strike me. My eyes glared defiance, almost daring him to hit me again. Why should he stop now? He'd hit me so many times before; one more wouldn't kill him.
It'd kill me, instead.
"You don't know why I'm here, do you?"
"To silence me. I'm not stupid."
"You were stupid enough to have filthy offspring."
"My daughter is not filthy."
"Speak for yourself. She is ugly, dirty, and carries the stain of an Earth man."
My voice lowered to a threatening growl. "Never talk about my child in that tone. Ever."
"You can't talk to me like that."
"Watch me."
"Insolent hussy," he whispered. "You and your mistake will die right here, right now."
"You should have killed me years ago, Katar. When I was still yours to order around."
"Shut up."
I knew I had an edge over him. His ego was being played, and he hated it. "Admit it. I'm not yours anymore. You can't tell me what to do, where to go, even how to live my life. I learned that freedom is mine to take, not for you to decide for me."
"Lies you learned on Earth."
"I'm not your servant, and never was."
"Your cheek will not be tolerated."
"I don't have to listen to you."
"Silence!"
My voice rose. "I'll never be quiet, and you can't silence me, or my daughter. We'll escape, and get back to Earth. We'll be happy, and you can live in your misery, here on Thanagar. You-"
A loud blast cut me off. Behind me, the now lifeless body of my daughter crumbled into my chained arms. Sara's eyes were closed, her face frozen in pain. She died because I couldn't save her. Katar's gunshot rung in my ears.
I couldn't stand it anymore.
"How dare you!" I shrieked, crushing Sara's body against mine. "You should have killed me, not her!"
The smoke from Katar's gun disappeared. He loaded another shell, aiming it towards me. "We are done, Shay. Any last words for the traitor?"
I spat at his feet. "Just wait and see. You'll die a miserable death, and I'll be at the source of it."
"You can't kill me if you're already dead."
"Jon will come for us."
"No one will come for. Your daughter is dead. You are going to be dead. These words are madness."
"Maybe I am mad. But I was insane enough to escape from this nightmare, and actually live my life with love and freedom. I-"
A single gunshot crackled through the air. Cold metal seared through my body as the bullet shot through my body, bouncing off the wall and falling with a clink to the floor. Katar's face began to blur. The sickly sweet smell of blood filled the air, as I slumped to the floor. A pool of blood seeped into my hair and mouth. I could feel life slipping through my fingers.
I fell over Sara's body, my hopes for her gone. I wanted her to grow up happy, in a peaceful world. I didn't want her to die because I couldn't protect her.
All I've ever wanted is happiness for my child, my husband, and myself. These dreams are ruined, all because of a mistake I made so long ago. I chose to fall in love Katar, and take on the mission that eventually led me here, to my death. I chose to betray my husband, and make my young daughter a martyr. I wanted Sara to see her father one last time before she died. Now she was dead, and I was dying with her.
I had only hoped for one other thing, as of this moment, of this day, of this situation.
I wanted to tell Jon I loved him.
~*~
A/N 2: rough fic, I know. I've rated it PG-13, but I really think it should be R, just because Katar is a complete bastard. I admit, this sort resembles Crumble in my LXG fics, but focuses on different themes: It's more violent. Even Jonathon and Mr. Murray weren't this abusive. The theme of abuse is prevalent in both, I've noticed. Please be kind and review-but not if you have something utterly ridiculous to say, like, a flame.