AN: Because I adore shipping Rose with the Doctor. Even 11...
OH GOD THIS IS JUST HURTING ME MY FAVE DOCTOR IS BEING SHIPPED OH GOD
Rather one sided though, since, y'know, she's in another dimension.
-wibbly wobbly line break-
The Doctor sighed softly, alone in the TARDIS. Since his 11th regeneration, it was easier to pretend he had forgotten about the past.
Namely Rose.
He still cared for her. No matter how many times he regenerated, that was never going to change.
But he had to act like she didn't exist. It was hard not to mention her to Amy, hard not to mention her to Rory, and hard not to mention her to River.
But he knew if he mentioned her, the good memories wouldn't be the only thing to resurface. No, pain, agony, and guilt would re-surface. The feeling that it was all his fault would resurface.
And he couldn't have that, now could he?
Yes, he knew he was selfish. It was no excuse to pretend she never existed, to dishonor her memory, just because he was afraid of the pain.
But he HAD to. He didn't LIKE giving up things. And he certainly didn't like remembering things he was certain was his fault.
Not one bit.
But he was always going to love her and remember her.
And that was never going to change.