Title: Only in Time
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: None really...but it does make more sense if you watched Once and Future Queen.
Summary: Ideally, it takes place after Once and Future Queen. Gwen's and Arthur's thoughts and understanding and belief in the future.
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin characters nor am I making any money from this [sadly].
Guinevere had been avoiding him - or has he been avoiding her? He didn't know anymore.
Guinevere did her best to maintain her hum, but despite how much she concentrated, her mind continued to wandered about his lips, his eyes, his smile, his laugh, his exasperated face when she had said he only sounded like a pig - everything about him. She hated how the light hit his golden, princely hair, how his vivid blue eyes would turn crisp and clear when he teased her, and most of all, how his soft lips had caressed her own.
...
Curses, now what was that she was humming?
Arthur watched her face from the darkness. He felt like a pathetic stalker, but he had to see her. He had to see her many faces when she was alone - even when she wasn't alone, her face would play out her internal battle at times.
He saw her scrunch her face slightly in concentration, how her eyes slightly glazed over, and a soft smile danced upon her lips. How that smile had suddenly widen so sweetly, before regressing slowly as she reminisce about one thing or another, he dared to hope that her thoughts of him had brought upon the smile.
He saw her hand slightly whiten from her grip on the bucket. What was she thinking? He noted her scratched hands, her worn, ripped apron, and her fading yellow gown. He smiled and shook his head slightly. How practical of her.
Gwen shook herself out of her stupor, and finally walked away from the well. She let out a small yelp when she tripped over a rather large rock, but luckily kept the bucket from completely spilling over as she managed to keep herself from falling onto the ground. She sighed at how her dress is now slightly wet from the water spilt. Good thing she changed into her old yellow gown today rather than wear the more elegant dress that Morgana said befits her station as a maid for her. Gwen envied Morgana at times, and these were one of them; she always had a good eye for taste.
Arthur had casually visited Morgana with a message from Uther earlier. Uther wanted the two of them present for dinner with him tonight. He left out the part that he had hinted to his father that the last time the three of them had dinner was when Morgana was tolerably unable to speak due to a cold, and upon seeing how long it has been, Uther decided to have the them present tonight.
He didn't want quite relate it in his mind, but apparently, he was willing to bear a dinner with Morgana and his father just to catch a glimpse of Guinevere.
It was just his luck however, that upon reaching Morgana's rooms, there was no Guinevere.
"What do you want, Arthur?" Morgana had immediately asked upon his entrance. Sitting beside her window, she raised an eyebrow at him as he looked about her room, but said naught. "Arthur?" she snapped him out of it.
Immediately, Arthur turned to Morgana, but couldn't keep his eyes from glancing about. "My father wants us to have dinner together tonight."
Morgana scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Another complete waste of my time, but seeing as little choice I have; I shall see you tonight." She looked at him expectantly, but instead of turning to leave, he continued to look about her room. "Is there something else you wanted?" she asked, intrigued.
Arthur was still slow to reply. "No, nothing." Then he thought better of it. "Where is Merlin?"
"Merlin?" Morgana laughed in his face, "Isn't he your manservant? Why are you asking me of his whereabouts?"
Arthur bit his lip before retorting, "Because the idiotic manservant of mine always seem to frolick about with Guinevere. So, have you seen her?"
Morgana's delicate eyebrows scrunched together in reply. "Her? Are you asking for Gwen now?"
Arthur swallowed, "No," he hoped he casually lean against a dresser beside the door. "I'm asking for Merlin, Morgana, listen carefully." Arthur struggled to not move under her intense, inquisitive gaze.
"I have not seen Merlin this day," she finally said as she turned back to look down her window. "I do believe Gwen is helping some poor sick girl with her duties today," she continued dryly, "you may find her if you think Merlin is with her."
Arthur nodded and briskly exited.
What he didn't know was that although Morgana had looked out the window, she had made sure to keep the corner of her eyes visible to a mirror that reflected Arthur in total. She saw him visibly relax once her gaze fixed away from him, and the rising red on his neck when she mentioned Gwen. She smiled. Rarely have she seen him so flustered, and even rarer blush. Dinner could be interesting tonight, and even more interesting will the time Gwen takes to ready her for bed. She grinned to herself, she'll know everything come time she sleeps.
"Morgana!" a happy, cheery voice cut through her thoughts.
Turning, she smiled, "Good morning, Merlin."
Merlin looked about her room and asked, "Where's Gwen?"
She laughed at a confused Merlin.
Trailing after her like a lost puppy, Arthur seethed a bit at himself. What was he doing? Following a handmaid? Yes, it's Guinevere, and yes, she's not just a handmaid, but what is he doing?
Guinevere is too good to be a handmaid. Too noble, too kind, too humble, too beautiful. She is more of a noble than he is.
What was she doing? Guinevere thought to herself as she smiled to the cook. She shook her head at the cook's obvoius concern for her. She wasn't one to avoid unpleasant tasks, and wasn't one to complain either, but she would much rather pretend that nothing happened and that everything is normal rather than...rather than what? She frowned.
She may only be a handmaid, but she knew her duty and may not say it, but she pride herself in doing her work. She always does her work.
But what was she doing? Longing for the crown prince isn't part of her work. Wanting nothing but be beside him, dine with him, is not her work!
Smiling at the slightly apprehensive cook who doesn't quite know how to approach a visibly upset Gwen, she turned and exited the door to find the courtyard.
How long is he going to follow her like this? Arthur thought to himself. And how long is the girl not notice him? Just how unaware is she? Or rather, how deep in her thoughts.
Finding the edge of the courtyard, she sat on the grass and enjoyed her solitude. She hated her thoughts now. She had said that things will change when Arthur is king, but what does that mean?
Did she want her position to change with him when he is king? Yes. Is it feasible? No.
What was she thinking, saying that? Sure he can take it as how he'll be a better king, that fairness will rule; however, he was referring to their...she breathed. Kiss, and relations.
Her saying that implied that...Oh, Gods, she wanted to bury her face in her hands.
Arthur decided that he had enough of her frustrated face and eyes. Marching forward, he wrapped his arms around the surprised girl and held the back of her head so that her face fit in the crooked of his neck. He relished in the feel of her soft body against his, her hair in his face, and her scent filling his whole being.
There she stayed for several seconds before she finally pushed against him.
"Sire?" she looked up at him warily as his arms wrapped around her back and although didn't press her back into his body, kept a firm hold on her.
"Guinevere," Arthur finally said after a long pause. "What are we doing?"
She blinked and looked about them.
"No prying eyes will see us," Arthur immediately said. "Answer my question."
Gwen met his eyes and bit the inside of her lips before replying, "I do not know, sire."
"Arthur," he half growled, "given the circumstances, call me Arthur."
"What circumstance?"
"Don't play daft," his voice raised slighly in frustration.
Gwen swallowed and adjusted her eyes downward. "I do not know, sire."
He frowned, "What do you not know, Guinevere?" he emphasized her name, causing her to slightly flinch. He said it coldly, and she felt his grip on her tighten.
"I do not know the answer to your first question, sire." she tried to distance herself, pull her body further away from his, but his grip held her where she was.
Arthur placed one hand under her chin, and gently lifted her eyes. "Would you like to know what I am doing then?" he breathed, calming himself. Before she can answer, he continued, "I am following you about like some lovesick puppy. I think about you everyday. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your voice - everything is committed to memory. When I think about you, my vigor to better Camelot - better myself doubles. When I think of you, my heart is on air, but then it crashes because you're not near. Why is that, Guinevere? Do you know why?"
Her breath was caught in her throat at his declaration as she looked wildly into his clear blue eyes that conveyed his sincerety. His eyes coaxed words from her mouth that she didn't know she thought. "Because tis the same reason why I think of you. Tis the same reason why I go to bed at night, sleepless with only blue eyes haunting me and arrogant laughter ringing in my head."
He chuckled. "Arrogant?"
"Yes, Arthur. Infintely arrogant." she smiled, finding courage in the rumble from his throat and the laughter in his eyes.
"Not even, only sounds like arrogance?" he teased, grinning that she had called him by name.
"No."
They exchanged wide smiles and she didn't resist when he pulled her small frame against his. While one hand wrapped itself around his back, the other rested on his chest. He made sure to wrap his hand high on her waist. He didn't want her to misunderstand his ... somewhat honorable intentions.
"Am I to understand that you," he said somewhat hesitantly, "that you return my affections?" He saw her blush deepen and grinned.
Gwen nodded shyly.
"I'm sorry, Guinevere," he drawled her name out arily, "I didn't catch what you said. Do you return my affections?" he wanted it out of her.
Gwen pursed her lips and noted his teasing tone. Looking up at him, she took her hand off his chest and he immediately looked down at her in panic. She moved her hand to his face and his face contorted into great surprise and confusion.
Pulling his face slightly down and raising hers, she kept her eyes closed.
"Arthur! Gwen!" a voice cut through their trance.
Gwen immediately backed away from Arthur, not registering the voice yet. Arthur on the other hand, kept his hand on her and turned angrily at the voice.
"Get the hell out of here, Merlin!" he bellowed, his princely voice laced with anger and intent to kill.
Merlin widened his eyes at the sight. Arthur had his arms around Gwen as Gwen looked suprisingly at Arthur. Looking between the two, Merlin closed his gaping mouth and asked. "What are you two doing?"
Arthur roled his eyes as Gwen laughed, and turned decidedly towards Merlin. "We were merely enjoying the view, Merlin."
Merlin frowned. "Why is Arthur hugging you?" he gasped, "You're not injured are you? I'll go get Gaius!" he turned and was about to sprint off when Arthur yelled him back.
"Merlin! You idiot!" he half laughed and exasperated. "You have other duties. Guinevere is fine here with me. Go clean my room, wash my clothes, polish my armor, shine my sword, fix my lance, groom the horse, and muck out the stables!"
Merlin's eyes widened at his orders. "You're kidding. It's afternoon now! I'll never finish all that by tonight!"
Arthur smirked. "Well you better start now if you hope to go to bed by morning."
Gwen frowned slightly at Arthur.
Arthur looked at her, affronted. "It will keep him from talking and thinking about stupid things."
Gwen kept her stare.
Merlin watched their exchange in hope.
Arthur relented. "You may finish what tasks you don't get to, tomorrow."
Merlin grinned and jumped in the air in happiness.
"Get going!" Arthur pointed back at the castle.
Merlin grinned cheekily and bowed ostentatiously, "Yes, sire!" But he couldn't resist. "I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening...enjoying the view!" he yelled cheekily over his shoulder as he dashed back to the castle.
Arthur was half ready to throw something at Merlin, but the idiot was too far now and he wasn't about to separate himself from Guinevere for that idiot.
Gwen laughed happily before she kissed Arthur briefly on the lips and rested her head on his shoulder.
"You're not getting away with just that," Arthur grinned and angled her face. "I let Merlin off for you, there has to be more than that."
And more there was.
Brushing the beautiful, silk hair, Gwen hummed happily as she freely allowed her thoughts to be occupied by the events of earlier that day and Arthur - just Arthur.
"You seem happier now," Morgana smiled. "Did something happen?" she said knowingly. She had seen a madly grinning and laughing Merlin run from the secluded grass area she had seen Gwen walk to with Arthur like an idiot and immeidately had Merlin regale her the tales, and it took all her willpower not to say anything too blatent during dinner.
"I just know," Morgana had said casually, "that enjoying the view isn't the same as its used to anymore."
Arthur had choked on his wine goblet as she looked meaningfully at him.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Arthur," she laughed behind her hand as she looked apologetic, "Surely you know that enjoying the view of Camelot is absolutely worth trailing after like some lovesick puppy."
Arthur glared at her as he swallowed the remaining of his wine and demanded for more.
Gwen smiled shyly and nodded.
"You know," Morgana continued casually, "Arthur came in this morning." Only due to the long years together did Morgana note the interest in Gwen's passive eyes. "He told me to go to dinner tonight, but kept looking around the room like something was missing."
Gwen swallowed her flush.
"It was silly really," Morgana continued in the same air. "Glancing about, not really paying real attention to me. But you and I both know," she smiled coyly, "that it was more like someone was missing really." Morgana turned her head and faced Gwen then. She smirked, "Tell me everything, Gwen!"
"Morgana!" Gwen laughed under Morgana's tickling fingers.
"Shut up, Merlin!" Arthur snapped at Merlin.
"I didn't say anything!" Merlin continued to cheekily grin as he readied the clothes for Arthur to change into.
"You don't have to," Arthur growled, "that dopey expression of yours is all I need to know what you want to say."
Merlin purposely muttered loudly, "Nothing compared to the goofy expression you have on now."
"What?!" Arthur snapped his face to the mirror. Indeed, he had on a besotted look that was emphatically worse than Merlin.
Gwen smiled as she finally walked back to her house. Nothing have really changed - she's still a handmaid and he's still the crown prince. But now, she's also just Guinevere to him, and he Arthur to her.
"I promise you," Arthur took her hands in his and practically prayed for her belief, "that things will change."
She had smiled and nodded.
"Lend me your strength," he hugged her.
She didn't voice it, but she needed his to. She needed his reassurance because even now, she's only smiling weakly at the chance that things will change.
"When I am king," he had said.
She had believed.
But now, alone on her walk home, she didn't know.
"Guinevere!" her face, her eyes, her whole being lighted up at the voice as seh turned around.
Blonde hair flying, blue eyes smiling, and lazy grin glowing. "It's late, I'm on guard duty, and you need an escort." he smirked.
Seeing his face, those eyes, that...affection - she refused to repeat his words, she's just not quite ready, but she knows she will be - she couldn't help but believe.
"I love you," he whispered once more in her ear as they neared her house.
She turned to him, smiled happily, placed a chaste kiss on his cheek, and walked the remaining steps to her house. She turned back upon opening the door, and seeing him wave her in, she went to the window and watched as he smiled at her empty door and left.
In time, things will change, Arthur thought to himself with renewed vigor and determination.
In time, Gwen knew that she'll be able to relay those words to him with full belief in the future. Only in time.