This work is a three-shot sequel to Ghosts, one of my earlier Reylo and Stormpilot stories. It can be read as a standalone, however. All you really need to know is: Rey and Ben have a kid, and Finn is a Skywalker in this story (I don't actually subscribe to that theory, but it's a lot of fun to write!)
Ben's eyes snap open to the sound of his daughter screaming.
"I'll get her," Rey mumbles from beside him. The room is pitch black, informing Ben they couldn't have been asleep for more than an hour or two.
"Padmé," Rey croons, cradling the baby to her chest. "Shh, shh, sweetheart. It's okay." She slips back onto the bed, bouncing the child, who only screws up her face and cries all the harder. For the third night in a row, Ben doubts they'll be getting any sleep.
Padmé's been an easy baby for the first six months. Far easier than you, his mother had told him, rolling her eyes. For the past week, though, neither of them can get her to stop crying.
"Are you hungry?" Rey asks, slipping her shirt off her shoulder. Heat floods Ben as he watches his wife try to coax their daughter into eating. Except, Padmé's having none of it.
"She doesn't need to be changed?"
"No, I checked." Rey rocks her daughter back and forth. "It'll be all right. It'll be all right." Her voice trembles, and in the dim light Ben switches on, he can see fatigue dragging down the skin under Rey's eyes.
"Stay here," Ben says. "I'll take her for a walk."
Sometimes, when he had nightmares as a toddler, his father used to take him for a walk outside, if they were on a planet, or up to the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon if they were flying, where Ben could watch the stars and rest his head against his father's chest, curling up in his arms or on his lap, listen to his beating heart.
The heart Ben himself stopped.
Stop.
"Are you sure?" Rey bites her lip.
"I'm sure." Ben presses his hand against Rey's face, feeling the softness of her cheek with his thumb. "Get some rest."
"Thank you." Rey crawls back under the covers as Ben lifts up the squalling Padmé, pressing her against his own chest. "I love you."
"I know," Ben answers softly, smirking as he leaves. Padmé still wails. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" He strokes her dark hair, thick like his. Her eyes, though—they've softened from the every-baby's blue to hazel, like Rey's. Ben's glad. He likes Rey's eyes, and seeing them in such a small face—it still astounds him. In her six months, Padmé's doubled in size, and yet she's still tiny.
She drools and sobs against his dark shirt, the wetness seeping through. Ben winces and adjusts her, bouncing her up and down. He remembers the lullaby R2 sang to him the first night he showed up at D'Qar, the only Mother used to sing to him, and sings it softly for his daughter as they head outside.
The stars sparkle overhead, against a velvet universe. Somewhere, out there, Poe's finishing a mission to eradicate the First Order. He should be back soon, and that'll be a relief for Finn, Ben's cousin. And for Ben. Poe's his friend.
Whoever would have thought?
A group of Resistance pilots pass, casting him skeptical looks. Even after everyone's word about how he'd helped defeat Snoke, even after he married Rey, not everyone trusts him. Not that Ben blames them.
Although he does feel frustrated. With himself, for letting it get so far to where he will never be truly redeemed.
You've sullied your grandfather's name.
No. His grandfather's assured him of his love.
"No wonder she's crying," mutters one pilot. "Clutched in the arms of that monster."
His words hit Ben like a bowcaster blow. His knees buckle, but he can't fall. He has Padmé in his arms. Instead, he glares at that pilot, whose face blanches.
"Sorry," says Jess Pava as she glowers after her crewmate. "She okay?"
Despite their atrocious beginning, when Jess once tried to burn Ben's face with his own lightsaber, she's at least warmed up to him. Or at least, to Rey and Padmé, and that keeps her from hating him. Ben thinks.
"Hope so. She's been cranky lately," Ben answers as Padmé's cries drag like nails down his back. Stop, sweet child, please be quiet. Please. Please be quiet.
"Is she teething?" Jess questions.
Huh. Ben pries Padmé's face up and tries to look in her mouth. No go. "Maybe?"
"If she is, giving her something to chew on might help," Jess suggests. "I've gotta go. Poe's supposed to radio us in fifteen minutes."
Ben nods. "Everything all right?'
"Hopefully. Have a good night." Jess swishes away, and Ben offers Padmé his finger. She grabs it in her small fists, pulling it into her mouth. She bites down, gnawing on it with her gums.
And, possibly a tooth. Ouch.
At least her cries are quieting. Ben sighs as he strolls past several X-wings, pausing by the Millennium Falcon. "Someday, we'll go up there," Ben tells her. "You were born up there, you know that? In the sky."
Her eyelids start to droop. Oh, please, thank the Maker.
Ben signs the lullaby from Alderaan again, and again. Padmé whimpers, and he keeps singing, desperate.
Eventually, her head sags against his shoulder. Ben sings and walks under the stars, rocking her gently.
I love you so much, Ben thinks, watching her sleep with a lump in his throat.
Admiral Ackbar passes by, giving Ben a nod of acknowledgement. Ben returns the gesture.
"I recognize the song," Ackbar tells him.
"My mother used to—"
"Her mother—her adoptive mother—used to sing it to her when she had nightmares. She sang it to you." Ackbar shakes his head. "Are nightmares inherited for all descendants of Darth Vader?"
If Ben didn't have Padmé in his arms, he would show this admiral the true power of the Force. He narrows his eyes. "She's teething." Probably.
"Of course. I meant no insult."
Not to his mother or his uncle, Ben knows. But he certainly did mean to insult Ben, whom he sees as nothing more than Han's murderer, Snoke's lackey. "I'm not Kylo Ren anymore."
"What are you going to tell her about that?" Ackbar asks, inclining his head towards the baby. "About your… exploits? About what happened to your father?"
The night air is warm, but goosebumps prickle on Ben's arms and nausea surges within him. He hates Ackbar in this moment. All the emotions he associates with the Dark Side—the fury, the rage, the urge to smash things with his lightsaber and threaten, always threaten—boils in the pit of his stomach. He grits his teeth.
Ackbar steps back, and the darkness deflates within him to a rock rattling around his abdomen. Ben hangs his head as the admiral walks away.
It's still there.
He's known it. He knows it always will be—but—why?
Padmé stirs, sighing in her sleep.
What am I going to tell her?
Ben heads back inside, crawling in next to Rey. He doesn't put Padmé in her crib. Instead, he keeps her curled up on his chest, falling asleep with her heart beating against his.
Your child is mine.
No, Rey thinks wildly. No, that's impossible. You're dead!
Snoke laughs and laughs, and as Rey whirls around to look for her daughter, a door locks behind her.
"Let me out!" Rey screams, pounding her fists against the steel. General Hux passes by, brow drawn in a scowl. "Help!" she calls, but he vanishes.
Padmé howls, but Rey can't reach her because she's trapped in this freaking room. The baby's cries echo all around her, louder and louder and louder, and Rey's screaming too, and the screams tear her apart.
"Rey, wake up!"
Her eyes fly open as Ben shakes her shoulder. She glugs in air, tears sticky on her face. Ben looks at her with his jaw hanging open. "Again?"
"Sorry," she mutters.
"Don't be. It's not your fault."
"Where is she?" Rey sits up, arms shaking. Her breath hitches.
"Here." Ben nods down, and Rey sees why he hasn't been sitting up. Padmé's curled up on his chest.
Rey's terror melts away. She reaches for her daughter, lifting Padmé, who blinks sleepily.
"I think she's teething," Ben tells her. "Which explains a lot."
"Oh!" Rey sighs in relief. "Okay."
"What was your dream about?" he ventures.
Rey swallows. "The usual. Snoke. Taking Padmé. And I'm back there too, trapped." Watching Phasma die, again and again. Watching Ben come for her, only to die. Watching Ben throw her off a bridge, like he'd pushed his father, even though she knows he would never harm her.
Ben wraps his arms around her, drawing her towards him. He says nothing, because he's learned fairly quickly that Rey doesn't want words. Instead, he presses his chin against the top of her head.
But he has to know he stalks her nightmares, too.
Rey closes her eyes, remembering their wedding day. She wore an azure dress, her hair in its signature three buns, but interwoven with gold twine by Leia. And she kissed him on his lips, on his scarred face in front of Luke, Finn, Poe, and the entire Resistance, because she loves him.
You're a monster, she spat at him once.
Now, she doesn't see a monster, but his actions still haunt her dreams.
"I'll ask your mother if she has any advice for teething babies," Rey says, prying herself away from the warmth of his body.
"May I make a suggestion?" He nods to Padmé. "We may want to start introducing her to solid food."
A grin spreads across her face as she drops one shoulder of her nightdress. "What, you wouldn't like my chest all chewed up?"
"You put up with my face; I'd put up with your chest. But I don't think you want that kind of pain." He smirks.
"I can ask your mother or Luke to watch her for a little bit this afternoon," Rey suggests as Padmé smiles at her. "So we can have some time together."
"Yes, please." His lips flicker upwards, and then fall as if something's weighing on him.
"What's wrong?" Rey queries.
Ben shakes his head. "I'll tell you later, okay?"
"Sure." She changes Padmé and gets ready herself, heading to train with Luke in the morning—as much as their daughter allows her and Ben to train, although Finn, bless his soul, offers to watch his niece at times as well.
Her mother-in-law spends most of the day directing the Resistance, but in the afternoons, she tries to spend an hour or so with her family. This time, Leia confirms that her granddaughter's likely teething, and offers Padmé some small red fruits to play with, put in her mouth and gum on. "Have fun, kids," Leia calls, Padmé on her lap. "You have talked to Dr. Kalonia about—"
"We're fine," Ben calls, dragging Rey out of the room. Neither of them is eager for Rey to wind up pregnant again. Although Rey would like to have another kid. Eventually. When she's not so tired her bones ache.
But for now… she melts into Ben's touch, their breaths and their bodies syncing.
"You think Dameron and Wexley have really been successful?" questions Major Ematt.
"He says they have," Luke answers, glancing at Finn with a smile. "As successful as they're going to be at this point."
"He also says they found something that they'll need to debrief us on," Jess says. "What could that be?"
"Whatever it was, he clearly thinks it needs to be said in person," Finn points out.
"Do you think this could be it? We could actually wipe out the First Order for good?" asks Ematt.
"We'll never be able to do that," Luke insists. "Even if we do… something else will rise in its place."
"But we could buy a few years of peace," Ackbar counters.
"True." His father nods.
Finn shudders as he remembers his time with the First Order. How many more are like him? What would he think, if he was still a stormtrooper, if he heard Snoke and Hux and Kylo Ren were all gone?
He's not sure he likes the term wipe out when it comes to dealing with the First Order. It sticks in the back of his throat like a slimy lump of food that he can't cough away.
"I'll notify you when they're landing," Ackbar confirms, and the room disperses.
"No kidding evil will rise," mutters one of the pilots, a blue creature named Shiv whom Finn remembers all too well from his attack on Ben months earlier as they leave. "We've got that monster and his spawn here."
"Don't talk about them like that," Finn snarls. "The General and Luke are the children of Darth Vader, and they're—"
He turns to Finn with a sneer. "Yeah, but they weren't raised by him. With that man raising her, poor baby's got no chance. She'll—"
"Excuse me?" Rey's voice interrupts. She crosses her arms, glaring at Shiv. "Don't ever talk about my daughter that way. Or my husband."
"Rey—" Finn starts.
Chewie lets out a roar from behind them. The blue alien slips away from the enraged Wookiee.
Rey offers him a trembling smile as she slips by. "I've got to get Padmé from Leia's."
Luke sighs from behind Finn.
"I wish we could change their minds," Finn says to his father. "I changed. Ben has too. And Padmé—she's completely innocent."
"Prejudice isn't unique to the First Order," Luke comments, his hand on Finn's shoulder.
"Yeah, but it makes me wonder. Do they see me that way, too?" Finn thought they trusted him.
Luke shrugs. "You've proven yourself."
"So has Ben." And has he, really? Just because Ben's crimes were more well known and more severe than Finn's… "It's not fair." And he's scared for them. Not Ben or Rey so much, but for Padmé—if Ben's stories, the little Finn knows, about his childhood are true, isolation was key to pushing him into Snoke's arms. Do these pilots want to create another Dark Force user? Because with their hatred, they might do just that.
No. Finn won't let that happen to his niece. He loves her too much, the way she giggles, the way she recognizes him now, the way Ben and Rey dote upon her, terrified of parenthood though they still clearly are.
We'll figure it out. We have to.
"Any advice, Grandfather?" Finn wonders out loud as he heads away, not that he expects the ghost to answer. Anakin's not entirely reliable or predictable in terms of showing up.
"Surprise, I'm here," comes Anakin's voice.
Finn yelps. Anakin crosses his arms. "Only briefly."
"Well, do you? Have advice? For Ben and your great-granddaughter?"
Anakin frowns, sorrow in his eyes. "Ben needs to figure that out himself."
Finn groans.
"He will, though," Anakin reassures Finn. "I believe it. So will you."
"So will I what?"
Anakin shrugs. "You'll see."
The moment Poe leaps out of his cockpit with BB-8 trilling behind him, he spots Finn, still clad in the jacket Poe gave him the day Finn saved him, the day Poe named him. Poe runs towards him, throwing his arms around Finn. He doesn't give a damn who's watching. He pulls Finn in, covering his mouth with his own.
"You're back," Finn breathes. "In one piece."
"No broken bones this time." Poe winks and then studies his boyfriend, Finn's dark brown eyes. He tries not to think of what he's learned on this trip, what he doesn't know quite how to tell Finn. Or Luke. Poe shudders as he imagines what Luke's reaction will be.
Chewie roars as he comes over to embrace Poe. C-3PO chatters with BB-8 and R2. Poe peers behind them to see Ben, Rey, and Padmé standing slightly aside from the others. He sighs as Rey approaches.
"How's the cutest baby in the world?" Poe coos, reaching for Padmé. "Chill, Ben. I'm not going to drop her again."
"Again?" Ben's face darkens.
"Kidding. I never have." Poe grins. "Oh my word, you're getting big," he says, hoisting Padmé up. She wrinkles her nose and starts to cry. "Oh crap, what'd I do?"
"She's teething," Rey interjects.
"Oh no." Poe reaches into his waistband and pulls out a wooden ring half the size of Padmé's head. "Chew on this." He grins at Rey. "I figured she'd start with that soon."
Even Ben smiles as Padmé grabs the ring and instantly begins gnawing at it.
"So what do you have for us?" Leia wants to know.
Snap glances at Poe and shrugs.
"It can wait," Poe tells Leia, his hand clasping Finn's. "It's not urgent. Not per se. BB-8 can put in the files, but we don't have to discuss it tonight. It's late."
"And you're… tired," Luke states, cocking his head.
Oh shit. Poe grips Finn's hand. "Actually, yes, sir. I am."
Luke's stern façade breaks into a grin. "Get some rest."
Not that Poe plans on resting right away. First, he showers, and then he sinks into Finn's lips and embrace. When they finish, both trembling, Poe rests his head on Finn's chest and tries not to think about his travels, about what they found.
"What's your name?"
"FN-2187!"
"FN—what?"
At the time, Poe thought that alone told him all he needed to know about what Finn's life was like.
It turns out, that wasn't even half of it. And Finn's not been terribly forthcoming, and now Poe knows why.
Dammit, calm down, Dameron. He can't cry.
"What's wrong?" Finn asks the moment he sniffs.
He could say he's just overly emotional at having arrived back home.
It might be better if you tell Finn privately, before we inform everyone else, Snap suggested.
Poe turns, resting his chin on Finn's pecs. Finn peers down at him. "We came across some… disturbing things. In the remnants of the First Order."
Finn frowns. "Like what?"
"Like… places." Not smooth. "Places for… schools. Training facilities."
"Oh." Finn's breath hitches. "Those."
"Yeah." Poe rolls off of Finn, propping himself up on his elbow. "And we have a map. Showing where all of the… facilities… are."
"Good."
"We'll probably raid them."
"Good." But Finn isn't looking at him.
"We found out a little bit about their training methods. Beyond what you already told us—the chanting and videos and all."
Finn squeezes his eyes shut.
"Are you okay?"
Finn shrugs. "These are things that I—I don't like to—every so often, I think about it, Poe, and it strikes me just how crazy and messed up and awful it was, but if I think about it, it's like I can't do anything, you know? Until I stop thinking about it. But it's—"
"Simmering inside you?"
"Basically. Yeah." Finn clenches his fists. "We were taught to fight each other. The weak got left behind, got beat up. I always—I remember being four or five, and there was this kid on the ground, and she was bleeding, and I wanted to help her, but every time I went to help her, the commander would take a whip to me." He laughs, but it's hollow, a dropped rock echoing in an empty cavern. "Phasma always said empathy would be my undoing in the First Order."
"It kind of was," Poe acknowledges.
Finn smirks and runs his hands through Poe's hair. "Yeah. It was. But—it wasn't even just you. I wanted to help you, yeah, but I also just wanted to get away. I was scared."
"That's understandable."
"Yeah, but I—there are so many I didn't help, and I see their faces sometimes, at night. I hear everyone talking about killing the First Order, wiping it out, and I want its ideology, its practices, gone too, but—" Finn shakes his head.
Poe waits, quiet and still. Not moving for the first time in weeks.
"We were only allowed to sleep for a few hours at a time. Then they'd wake us up. Sometimes six hours, other times two hours, or three. We'd never know. And if we complained, or if we cried—" Finn bites his lip. "They'd drag us up front. They'd call our number and everyone would watch as everyone else in our division took turns insulting them, and beating them, and—I took part in that, Poe. It happened to me once, and I was determined that it couldn't happen again, so I did it. I did it to others. But I always knew it was wrong."
"It's not your fault," Poe insists. "You know Snoke kidnapped you."
"Whose fault was it, though?" Finn asks, turning to face him, his eyes desperately searching Poe's. "The people training me had been through the same program from Hux's father. Who probably went through some hellish shit of his own. Whose fault was it? Where does the cycle stop?"
Poe's tongue sticks to his mouth. "I don't know."
"How did the kids react when you freed them?"
"Not… well." Poe gulps. "They're—pretty brainwashed."
"Not surprising." Finn sighs.
"We were hoping—maybe you could help. We're not sure how yet, but tomorrow, when we brief everyone—"
"They're bound to ask," Finn finishes for him. He sighs. "I'll try."
"You will?"
"Are you that surprised?" Finn snorts.
"No—not exactly. It's just—I'm impressed. You're brave." Poe's not sure he could revisit such a place, if Finn went through anything like what they'd found.
Finn shakes his head and traces Poe's collarbone. "When I helped you escape that time, what did you think?"
"A stormtrooper's helping me? What the hell?" Poe shakes his head. "But really… I'd given up at that point. I tried to tell myself I'd done the best I could, but Kylo Ren—he was too strong and I—that wasn't my fault." He swallows. "I thought I was a dead man, and then you came, and you offered me hope, and I—I had to grab it. Even if it didn't work out." He bites his lip. "And I thought you were pretty damn good looking. First time I'd ever seen a stormtrooper unmasked. And you were helping me, and I wanted to help you, so when you told me your name was FN-2187—I wanted to give you a new name."
"Finn's pretty good," Finn says with a small smile.
"Finn Skywalker," Poe teases. "Jedi in training."
"I love you," Finn says, and Poe closes his eyes.
"Do you want to get married?"
"Wait, what?"
Not smooth again. Poe could kick himself. He planned on doing this later. Oh well. "I—"
Finn takes Poe's face in his hands and kisses him. "Are you for real right now?"
"Well—um, yeah. I love you. I'd like to marry you."
Finn releases him and leans back with a smirk. "Sounds good to me."
"That's a yes?"
"Yes." And Finn laughs, pulling Poe on top of him again.