Till The Days Go By, a torchwood fanfic

Not a day goes by

Not a single day

When was the last time Jack had had one of these hyper vodkas? He couldn't recall and perhaps that was part of the charm of the drink. No, the last time he was about to imbibe had been right after he had met Rose. God, and wasn't she vivid? But that, that was lifetimes ago. Now, everything was different.

But you're somewhere a part of my life

And it looks like you'll stay

Jack was crumpled at the captains chair in the old warship that he had left cloaking above Earth. He tilted his head to rest in the seat as the ship moved aimlessly about space, borrowing on the Doctor's clever randomizing device. He had hoped, prayed that he would never have to use it. On the other hand, sometimes he hoped and prayed that Ianto would have come with him. Maybe even Martha. But not now. She was married now and gone from the inner circle. The inner circle of the Doctor's children was half dead anyway.

As the days go by

I keep thinking

When will it end?

The very thought made Jack wretch over the side of his chair. The bile spraying from his lips fell down into a grate beneath his feet, running away cheerily towards the space disposal unit. He had been foolish and hopeful. He should have known that Tosh and Owen would just be the first casualties. But he had wanted someone else to survive.

With the day I have started forgetting

But I just go on thinking and sweating

Jack wanted to cry to the heavens and to curse. That also happened to be the reason he was drinking so heavily now. That shit Douglas Adams mentions was nothing compared to his hyper vodkas. And he needed to forget, to forget everything. It was more than Eugene, Estelle, and all the others that had passed on because of him. It was the total gift and the total curse of the Doctor's legacy. It was a trembling tremor of pain coursing through the body of all who gazed upon it and lived through it.

And cursing and crying

And turning and reaching

And waiting

He would live to see this forever. Jack thought he could handle that, he had to handle that. That's why attaching himself to Ianto was even more complicated than any other relationship he had had. Ghosts, nothing but ghosts for a millennium. It would be better to be the face of solid rock without emotion or knowledge of time, Jack thought.

And dying and oh

Not a day goes by

Not a blessed day

He had paid for his sins, hadn't he? He had led a varying cast of characters and submitted to all of the daredevilry the Doctor could muster. Suddenly, Jack found himself hating the man and bunching his heart on the inside. Jack threw his glass at the control panel for good measure.

And you're still somehow a part of my life

And you won't go away

Though it's hell to say

Somewhere, there was a flash of red light and an alarm. A cheerful, androgynous voice informed him that the warship was jumping to a fixed point of his new calculation. He looked back at the Earth through the shards of glass reflection the open view finder as the Earth disappeared in a ball of light. Once the ship hit the rings of Saturn, the organic fuel collected from the rings spun the ship to its destination.

And yet I still know

I'll die day after day, after day, after day

Jack sat as an empty tomb during the duration of the ride. When he slept fitfully, and for the odd five minutes his body needed, he would awake and see one of Ianto's jackets on the untouched bed. He had pilfered the jacket as a surprise during the getaway. God, but now there would be no getaway. Jack's harsh voice called out for another hyper vodka. He was woozy and dehydrated by the time the ship pulled from its fueled jump through space.

After day, after day, after day

He could barely recognize the floating city as it was being rebuilt. It had been here that all the work documenting the issues of the Medusa Cascade had went into effect. It had been here that the Dalek leader had taken a large tole of fury to unleash. The place was rebuilding itself, cold welding material outfitted for space illuminated all around Jack's ship as it floated to dock.

There's hell to pay

And until I die day after day, after day

It hurt to move his knees and the erratic light inside hurt his boiled brain. He moved like a ghost past the guards. One chilled look and they looked away, stepping back. His appalling glance told them more than they wanted to know.

He spoke in a growled English to the first girl he met. "Where is the Doctor?"

Her white clipboard shuddered and fell to the ground. Her large purple eyes winced at his fury and her black hair shook in a negative answer. "I don't know."

Jack lunged, grabbing her by the arms. "Then find me someone who does."

She nodded. "We might try Vivian in the archives room. She's my twin sister. I'm Minx."

They walked in swift silence, Minx looking over her shoulder nearly the entire time. Jack's own charm, fueled by rage, made him a dangerous imploding star on the floating station. What Jack did not know was that apart from four guards, three advanced androids, and one k nine unit, only these two sisters had survived the blasts. Growing as their humanoid forms had allowed them to age as rapidly as they had needed to run the information center. Someone had to.

Vivian turned, smiling at Minx as she entered the room and then letting her brow furrow as Jack entered behind swiftly. "Minx, who..."

She jumped as Jack barked at her. "Find me the Doctor."

Vivian shivered, gulping. "That's not what this room is for and the Daleks..."

"Then what the hell are any of you good for?" Jack shouted, waving his hand around the mirrors lining the room in a bookshelf pattern.

Minx hid behind her clipboard. "The best we can do here now is to survey the dead."

"Oh." Jack blinked, feeling something hollow bleed into his soul, or what was left of his soul. "Then show me Ianto Jones."

Vivian tilted her head. "Who is Ianto Jones?"

Jack bit down on his lip as he hissed. "Just do it."

Minx nodded, rushing over to one of the glasses and imprinting it with her hand. "What planet?"

Jack surveyed the blank pane of glass. "Earth. He was in the service of Torchwood."

Vivian stood behind Jack. "Was he important?"

Jack turned. "The most important man in the universe."

Minx sighed softly. "Found him, but I should sit down. That technology's still quite draining."

Jack tuned out the world as the mirror blinked to life. He walked over, sliding his hand over the warming glass. His Ianto Jones was alive here. Every minute of his life was recorded. Every smile or witty comeback was at Jack's disposal. Those moments in bed, just talking and being next to each other, Jack had forgotten about that. He couldn't smile, couldn't cry, just couldn't be here or see this. But he needed to see this.

Jack repelled himself and then ran at the glass in a torrent of rage. "How dare you do this to me!"

Minx and Vivian shouted in tandem. "No! That time technology is far too...."

Till the days go by

But it was too late. Jack had already broken through the glass and felt the electricity and something else sparking through his veins. It was as though his very atoms were being broken apart and rearranged. It was pain, pure and blissful pain. It was a death of tears and remembrances. It was the beauty in forgetting. And it was the one way that a point in time made by one Tardis could be solved by another. And so it was that the man that couldn't die found a solution to the ultimate enigma of the Doctor's universe.

Till the days go by

Captain Jack Harkness walked into that same nothing as Suzie Costello and Owen Harper. He joined Estelle and his grandson in seeing that which he couldn't understand. He had died thousands of times, each time a little different. But he was here now in that same darkness.

Not a day goes by

Then there were the footsteps of a well-dressed man and the scent of coffee. Jack knew when Ianto kissed him that he had arrived.

Not a single day